That guy's a Maniac...

Yes Kids! Once again, I get on my high horse and complain about things I have no right to be complaining about because I probably couldn't do any better. Today it is my favourite subject. Crates and Barrels! I wrote the funniest article ever here until some cunt wrote serious shit over the top of it. The only bit that is still mine is the bit under sources. This is what the regulator says after destroying the best piece of games related writing to ever appear on the internet : (Rework of page to remove subjectivity (sarcasm) and make conjecture obvious as such. Also reworked some phrasing to improve flow.) Mother Fucker! How dare you judge me! Also by "Reworked" he means "make boring like the rest of this shitty Wiki written by people who masturbate over pictures of broken PCs with bits coming out". Well, Mrs. Humorless here is my original article that you so callously deleted. First Use of Crates and Barrels Appears in: Every Game Ever

Today Nintendo announced WWi: Childbirth . The game, aimed at the female market, comes with a foetal attachment. Players then insert the controller, (umbilical chord) nunchuck and foetal attachment into the appropriate body cavity and then have to give birth within a time limit. On screen is a vaginal tearometer as well as an oxygen gauge for the baby. If the oxygen gauge reaches critical, players then have to wave the foetal attachment to get the baby to "wake up" or press the A button (ABORT) on the controller. If the vaginal tearometer reaches critical then players can attempt to stitch it up with a Wi-Fi connection to a special version of Trauma Center: Under the Knife. The Foetus attachment comes in a range of colours to match the range of colours for the controller. Whether or not a blue version has been considered is unknown at this point. This revolutionary game will give women who haven't yet had children an excuse to actually experience how painful childbi

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! There is no point in porn any more! There is game soon to be released called Battle Stadium D.O.N. This will end any need for sexual stimulation ever again! BS D.O.N. Is a cross over game for 3 Shonen Jump franchises, D ragon ball, O ne Piece and N aruto, please see the side bar for torrent links to episode of One Piece and Naruto, and Find Dragonball for yourself, just dont watch the original Japanese, the voices are highly irritating. Umm yeah, expect reviews soon, along with guides on how to masturbate at the same time as playing. Fuck you sex! we dont need you any more! P.S. Dragonball is divided into 3 series': Dragonball - 153 episodes. + 3 Movies Dragonball Z - 264 episodes. + 13 Movies Dragonball GT - 63 episodes. + 1 Movie

Ha! "You don't need to know the rules. Just touch and go" What an excellent Tag-line for a page called touch generations. If a computer game themed carry on film was ever made Nintendo would be Barbara Windsor, forever accidentally saying filthy things innocently. Saying that, there is nothing better than putting Jill in a corner and touching her up as the zombies get closer and closer. Oh, oh did I just type that?

I have had this "game" for well over a month now and well, despite what ANYONE says, this means you Gamer Blogs. The game is PISH*. The songs are repetitive, in theory it is just really fast space invaders with an incredibly awkward controller, and the unlockables suck. Reasons to hate guitar hero: 1) The controller makes you look Stupid, no adult holding a Fisher-Price Guitar can look dignified. 2) If you play it too long you get “guitar hero eye” where everything distorts due to looking intensely at the moving fret board. 3) The crowd goes “BOO”, and that bugs the shit out of me. 4) Anything above hard mode demands a definite lifestyle choice, where all you ever do is play guitar hero, practicing every fucking hammer-on and pull-off (hehe, pull-off). 5) Girls are better at it than me. P.S. Guitar hero doesn’t suck It’s a great game (Do me Harder Red Octane! HARDER! cum in my armpit) , I and just suck really bad it. *Pish - Scottish vernacular for

And so with the inevitibility of FPS including barrels, or any RPG having an ice level, England have been knocked out of the world cup. And I am happy. Not because I am one of those pseudo-neomen of the 0's who is so secure in his sexuality that he would rather go shopping with his girlfriend than watch football, or one of those people who complain about the world cup taking over everything. Respectively I would say to those people: 1) Give up mate because she isn't putting out even if you do pretend to give a fuck about whether her shoes match her toe-ring. The women of the 0's are characterised by only putting out to sleezes they meet whilst "finding themselves" in Cambodia. They aren't interested in knobbage that doesn't give them a great story to tell when they meet up with their similarly boring-but striving to be interesting girlfriends for their weekly lunch. 2) If you don't like football its because you were either a) Really bad at spo

I have decided to write a little review on this baby as I have just completed it after a year of not playing it, and I should note that it wasn’t the quality of the game, that make me not play it, it was that goddamn World of Warcraft, it came into my life and well, all my "other" gaming has suffered. Anyways, shall we? Devil May Cry 3 it’s the third in the series, but in name only, this game (at least plot-wise) is a prequel to the first Devil may cry. For those of you who don’t know Devil may cry, it is a 3rd person action game centred around “Dante” a sword and gun wielding half-human, half-Devil. This time round Dante is not the cool smooth anti-hero he was in the other games, he is a mouthy, angry fun-loving teenager, which is a very welcome change from “Devil May Cry 2”, where Dante appeared to have lost all of his quirky-ness and remained a virtually silent protagonist. Dante, to the non-devil-may-cry-aware, may seem a little cheesy, the concept of a demon in a re