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Showing posts with the label charlie brookerism

Smash Bros Ultimate: A review of sorts

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You know what guys, I’m not gonna pretend like you haven read a million genuine articles, fan reviews or perused some shouty American youtube channel, about how much of a success Smash Bros is! By now if you have any interest in Smash, you will have played it, and you will know that it is good. Our option should not hold any weight as to whether you would like to play this or not, if it does hold some sway, please reassess your priorities/life. So in aging sardonic fashion I would like to accost you with my almost unjustifiable nitpicks, so get your eyeballs round this! Vault Major gripe number 1, On the main menu the Vault is inexplicably unselectable without first missing it entirely and either selecting the two surrounding menus or worse, opening the right accordion navigation bar, nothing is more fun! Touch screen We are all clear and aware that the switch screen has touch capabilities, but instead of utilising this you are given an actual hand/f

We heard something about someone but we're too afraid to write about it on the Internet

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Fortunately, Alcamoth Citizen our journalist from Xenoblade Chronicles is in a place where the press can't touch her. She truly has freedom of speech. So Alcamoth Citizen, lay it on us. What's the haps? I think that that says it all. I hope we haven't implicated anyone directly or indirectly with this post....

Catherine EU release date

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Sexy-charged game Catherine has been hyped over the pond and beyond, but the EU have yet to get an actual confirmation on its release. Provisionally a few distributors have tagged this as December 2011, which is not unreasonable, with only its sub-risqué subject matter delaying (or perhaps even cancelling) its release. Catherine is set around a dude and his obsession with a girl surprisingly called Catherine and Katherine. Much of the sexyness of the game can be peeled back to a platform puzzler set in the protagonists guilty dreams. You know what? I'm just going to stop there, that is fucking cool. I know you can call it sleazy but c'mon my previous sentence... That's an original concept I'm playing it, Fuck all you nay-sayers saying it's for pervs. FUCK YOU. This game is worthy of my time, deal-with-it! Love and Guilty dreams about a game. Richie X

Interview with the World's Most Powerful Editor of Krakatoa

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A bunch of people at the office were circulating the latest link for the latest masterpiece by Kotaku's Brian Crecente: Motion Control in Gaming: Rationalizing a New Dissonance . The usual jokes were flying around about how "Editor-In-Chief" means something different in America, and discussion arose as to when exactly Kotaku became (or desired to become) a science fiction pastiche of the real games industry. Deeply moved by the latest travesty from Kotaku Towers, I decided to get in touch with the big C for some constructive criticism. Here's how it went: TGAM: Hey. Just read your post about motion control in gaming. Thought I'd drop you a line to let you know it is one of the worst pieces of HTML pretending to be writing on Kotaku (FYI this is akin to saying it is one of the worst pieces of writing on the internet). Next time leave it to Leigh Alexander or someone else who can write their way out of a paper bag. It couldn't be more high school even if it men

Charlie Brooker on games..

Read it . The first part of the article is excellent observational humour and the whole thing sms up the frustration most of gamer kind has come across at some point. Brooker even picks up on the lack of gaming celebrities thing . However. A few comments down and we get the age old console wars stuff, some game snobbery, LULZ I'm a girl, aren't games addictive? etc. the usual stuff. Games may have become a bit more widely appreciated but gamers sure as hell aren't. I'm officially ex-communicating the gaming community until it levels up a bit. Starting. Now.

Why I hate Street Fighter [Maximum Risky]

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All the time, the cold lonely empty silence of the comments section and TGAM's email inbox seems to be asking me "Why if you are the official Capcom website do you never do anything on the Street Fighter series?". I'm sure that is what the silence asks of me. And if I were to answer it, my answer would be a three parter. Firstly, why do we only seem to ever write about Pokemon and Resident Evil? This is the bigger concern. Why pick out Street Fighter? Jeez. Secondly, I hate Street Fighter but it isn't because I think the fighting genre hasn't progressed at all in over a decade, it isn't because now there are stupid bars everywhere and nobody tells me what each of them mean or how to activate any of them so I just button mash until something explosiony happen and it isn't even because 'So there is this fighting tournament' has been the standard plot for fighting games since forever. Thirdly, the real reason why I hate Street Fighter is beca

The PC Guys are all a bit bitter about Gameswipe

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Perhaps it is because they couldn't get it off steam? Or maybe because they had to actually watch TV and they haven't done that for ages. Rock Paper Shotgun summed the show up pretty well. Richard Cobbett continues to look like David Mitchell. But if there is anything the men, who have mostly had marginal success writing for dying magazines and a niche following on the old blogosphere (RICH, SO RICH COMING FROM US), have said that makes sense is that the show felt very cobbled together because it was trying to do justice to the whole of gaming kind in a single show. And for an audience wider than the gamer gamers (see pie chart, the red slice). It could easily be a 420 part series but then who would watch it? Gamers think they know it all. The average TV watcher probably doesn't give a shit. Then again the same demographic expressing dissapointment at Gameswipe are the same people who regularly bemoan TV for being totally shit. So you can't have it both wa

Watch Tonight!

From the Graudian Gameswipe With Charlie Brooker 10pm BBC4 Following in the footsteps of Screenwipe, Charlie Brooker's new show- you guessed it- aims its remote at the world of videogames. Whether you're a gamer hater or lover, Gameswipe- part of the Electric Revolution season on BBC4- shows how games can be just as dumb or brilliant as TV and movies. And Charlie certainly knows what he's talking about, having spent his early career causing mayhem at PC Zone. Graham Lineham, Dara O'Brian and Dom Joly are on hand to join in the pixellated fun. Thoughts on the bit from the Guardian: 1) TV and Movie envy :( 2) Gamer hater or lover? Surely this should be game hater or lover? Who loves gamers? 3) Would have left out the bit about PC Zone, most people think that is a shop where you buy printers. 4) With the exception of Graham Linehan funny men from elsewhere on TV have no place here. 5) Videogame rather than video game? Controversial. 6) Forgot to mention the guys from

Let's do a "Guardian"

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Social networking sites are great. Instead of getting information about useful things written by people who at least had some training in writing (English degrees anyway) we now get information in a huge uncontrollable torrent with the geniune interesting bits mixed in with all the shit. Finding genuine information is like finding a shoe or a filled condom in a sewage treatment plant. We're all for it and here we are contributing to that torrent right now with this very post but it seems that even bigger traditional media like TV and Newspapers, resigned to the fact that the idiot millions will break every news story ever in their own trite fashion before them, have flip-reversed it and now report what is happening in the world today by checking twitter and facebook. 4 year old stabbed to death in the street? Not sad or news worthy until there's a facebook tribute page . Amazing wonders of the natural world? Not until it hits the " major trending topics on twitter