Right now until Midnight on Monday, it's the 2013 Global Showdown International Pokémon tournament. For non-Pokémon aficionados, every now and then there are international tournaments that are run over Wi-fi. The tournament are broken into a number of categories depending upon the age information with your Pokémon game; Junior Division, Senior Division and Master Division for old farts like us. Each tournament has an open registration period, places are normally limited to 50,000 (from a community of 3 million according to the Pokémon Global Link) and tournament rules sometimes vary. For a short time the registered trainers can take part in as many battles as they wish winning and losing adding or taking away ranking points which everyone starts of with 1500 of. You get to register six Pokémon and then going into each battle you see the six Pokémon your opponent has, both of you choose three trying to weigh up the strategic combinations. This is the first International tournament that Richie and I have both signed up to and we've spent this weekend battling trainers from around the world. HOWEVER, despite both being Pokémon nuts, the excuses for poor performance need to be fore-fronted. Richie, didn't have the pick of his best and brightest because he's still in mourning for the properly trained and honed Pokémon that got lost in the washing machine. In addition neither of us read the tournament rules, which oddly allowed the use of virtually every Pokémon, including some which are normally restricted because they are too powerful ('Uber' in the horrible horrible jargon of the 'community'). But we're taking part in the Master category right so surely veterans of the game, including a large proportion of honour-bound Japanese would understand that even if it's allowed you don't use the highly unfair cheaty cheaty legendary Pokémon so that battling is a bit more diverse right? RIGHT? Turns out not.
After my horrible ordeal of losing everything I have spent all of my time completing the game, and trying to "Collect 'em all". Kingdra, Omastar and Gyrados are remnants from the old Water team, they didn't get transferred across the first time because they all had HM moves and it meant going to the Move deleter. My Laziness saved them. Muk, was actually not properly trained in any way, he was just a pokemon I used through my original playthrough, and the guy (actually girl) is a trooper one of the most fun movesets I have used. Druddigon is an experiment, based on Lapras from before, and Stunfisk is just cool, but completely useless in Legendary tiers. Everyone got a Look in, but Omastar needed to be part of a 6 Man team, and is so shit-weak without backup.
Cunzy: So how was it for you?
Richie: It was noting short of a painful round of butt-hurt, after all my chaos with Gen V, I though this could turn it round. instead it was rushing to EV some random pokemon, followed by generic legendaries fucking me up.
C: Yep, I saw a lot of Specially Defensive Jirachi, Palkia, Kyurem and Lugia. The community should be ashamed of itself.
R: All contrition types I had created were just nullified with Super speedy Mewtwos using the same move over and over, I mean fuck that shit, no set-up, no tactics. Just: A Button, A Button, A Button, Win. At least I know what I'll be leveling next time.
C: At one point, I was just happy to get a KO in at all.
R: Yeah, just wish that the ratings reflected that.
C: Another thing people, mamoswine is ground and ice. But thanks to the five trainers who tried to fusion bolt it.
R: Next time (Gen VI) we know not to enter the free-for-all typings. Or do we? We are elitist fucks who think that using cheaty legendaries are for the plebian masses. We'll see you on the battle field, Fairy pokemon in hand. Fear the might of the revenge of Queefman!
C: I fantasize about Caterpie and Wurmples crawling over me while I touch myself.
R: Love and bring on Gen VI!
Richie and Cunzy X