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Rise of the Total Tosspot

His profile is here. It's Brian Ashcraft. Fucking art history graduates churning out shit like the article linked in the blog title. For shame. For shame.

Saturday Statistics #1

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Tickles: 393

That Guys Google Research

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As you know, here at that guys we are committed to brining you the news that you care about the most! And here we have the fruits of our latest research project: Most of you are aware that if you search for anything on Google Image and scoll down far enough you will find porn. However with the entire cast of Street fighter it seems more prevalent. So the rules are: 1. Google image will be set to:  Safesearch "Moderate" 2. Search for, [Character name] Street Fighter. 3. Observe the 1st instance of Porn and the page it is on. 4. Use only the 1st 20 pages of Google Image. [edit]5. Upon researching I noticed and abundance of pics relating to Cammy's butt. These will also be counted. For those marked at 20+ it means that there was no porn in the first 20 pages however that is not to say it doest exist (thanks to Rule 38) Character Sex # of Google image pages Featuring Character? Gratuitous Cammy butt picures Abel Male 20+ 2 Adon Male 20+ 1 Ace Male

the most heart-breaking imagery created by any video game ever

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We feel every single death. The cute little bastards. They just want to help. They volunteer themselves just for your materialistic gain Olimar, they shouldn't but they do. We love Pikmin but at the same time don't play it too much because then there's a chance that more pikmin will die. We're not good enough to save them all. Oh god I'm gonna cry again. As for Olimar Kirby's weird temporary existing pikmin in Super Smash Brothers Brawl we're not sure that shit isn't banned under the Geneva convention.

3DONSLAUGHT

It's that time again. New console/handheld device time. Time for endless coverage. How does it smell? What comes in the box with it? How long is the power cord? How many minutes will it survive in a hot glass of milk? It's tiresome and we're pretty sick of all the video game news outlets just abandoning normal service to churn out endless insignificant details. We're almost tempted to abandon proper gaming to try out all that iphone shit so we don't have to filter through 40 posts about what scientifically feasible colours a 3DS could or might come in. Even worse is that you can't see the fucking 3D effect through shitty videos. Can't we just this once keep everything a surprise? Can we? Let us not spoil it so that we've all rated and reviewed every single game and feature before it has even come out. Whilst we're at it, the DS is still the best platform currently available to people. Let's show it some love before buying all the games we have al

The Trashmaster

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Good machinima is very thin on the ground so it's with great joy that we direct you to go and watch a feature length filum called The Trashmaster, filmed inside GTAIV. Watch it here . The plot is as schloky as a Gears cutscene but the machinimatography is second to none. There's no hyperbole here but there are so many amazing shots crammed into 88 minutes you can't help but wonder at the eye for detail shown here. I've lived in that city but the filmakers have noticed details that makes me want to visit Liberty City again. Some of the shots in this film are ridiculous and we're willing to overlook sub-par narrative to congratulate the makers on a really really stunning piece of machinima. God knows how many hours were spent trying to set up the perfect shot and hopefully a bloopers reel will pop up sometime soon. Not only is it beautifully shot but this film is really a testimony to the highly detailed city that Rockstar built. Tiny little details that when highligh

Why I hate Final Fantasy. TGAM edition

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Blatantly stealing this article from Eurogamer. Its a pretty good article outlining some of the major flaws with the game(s) unfortunately Mr Daniel Bettridge dicks himself over quite early on in the article with this statement:  "While the cool kids were out playing footie and smoking tabs I was plundering dungeons as a Night Elf, hunting for loot and trying to work out how my level 20 paladin was going to escape hordes of Orcs." Shame, credibility out the window. The boy touched on a few good points, like androgynous characters, endless walking about, and OTT CGI sequences. Though made some stupid statements about physics defying weapons, not understanding mini-games, and some drivel about too much text. Anyways, why I hate Final Fantasy... Well firstly I don't "hate" Final Fantasy, I have fond memories of FF7 and FF8 and given the time I would happily play them again. And they are OK as games, they have a fun menu juggling mechanic that