That guy's a Maniac...

Is bloody brilliant. We were fans of the original Silent Hill, most of the sequels and even the film didn't suck too bad although it wasn't a patch on the games in terms of shit-your-pantiness. Then there were those reboots on obscure formats (Origins anyone?). So it was with some trepidation that we played Silent Hill Slatted Marmosets. However, it turns out to be great. So great that only a bulleted list will do it any justice. The game opens with a Cheryl section that almost puts the Jason section from Heavy Rain to shame. Our favourite game was waggle the wiimote whilst shouting Cheryl whilst looking at saucy pictures AS IF WE WERE WANKING. It works best when he says 'Sweedie' whilst you do it. Dicking around with the mobile is awesome. It's like real life! But with better reception. And fewer Indian call centres. I think Harry kept it from the shrink but I bet obsessively phoning every single phone number you find is pretty diagnostic of mental issues. Brillian

Pokemon Soul Silver brought precisely zero new pokemon to the table. I have 490 pokemon on pokemon diamond. Pokemon diamond has 400 hours of playtime. I am worried about the cartridge dying. Pokemon can be very tediously and slowly traded from Diamond to Soulsilver. This is project Exodus. STAGE ONE COMPLETE>

As I mentioned previously, I was dead over Christmas and confined to games I could play without moving too much, specifically, I could only play games whilst only moving my index finger and thumb right hand. Aside from Final Fantasy III this also meant that it was time for me to face up to the Battle Tower in Pokemon SoulSilver. For those of you who ain't in the know, the Battle Tower is a very challenging tower of battles. Who'd have guessed? Basically you take some of your best dudes and try to beat as many CPU dudes in a row as possible. Challenges can be done with 3 pokemon in mano a mano type affair or with four pokemon in 2 mano a mano affairs or if you have a willing friend you can try and do the tower with a mate over wifi. If you beat 20 trainers in a row you get to fight the tower tycoon. If you beat the tower tycoon you get a schmancy ribbon for all the pokemon in your team. If you beat 48 trainers in a row you get to face off against the tycoon slightly pimped and i

I got ill for Christmas. Cold sweats, runny nose, the lot and because I was in lands-a-foreign, the only thing I had to see me through moments when I wasn't delirious was a DS and a random selection of games. I needed to play a game that wouldn't mind me running away to snot every few seconds and also one that I could play in all three positions (laying on my front, reverse cowboy and neck propped up). Turns out Final Fantasy III was the only game that I had on me that fits the bill, annoyingly. I say annoyingly for three good reasons. Firstly, in something that might be called RPGitis I've been stuck on the same bit for years now. If you ever played an RPG, particularly a Squeenix one, you'll have no doubt experienced something similar. When I load up my game I find that I'm outside a city. I go into the city but from the way everyone is welcoming my guys like heroes, it's clear I've just finished what I needed to do for these city dwellers. I have no godl

Dear Cretins. We've received just under 15k* emails regarding why our 'best of' link leads to an under construction page and has done for the last couple of years. Well, now it is fixed. Ish. Here it be . A year by year break down of the highs and lows of TGAM over the last four years (up to 2009). We laughed. We cried. We even did a couple of good posts. You can also find our lists of lists to date (up until 2009). I think you'll find we've been consistently excellent these last four years justifying our position as 50% of the living gaming celebrities on Earth. *Well 15k worth of emails were shipped. Ha topical joke that we be incomprehensible in 5, 4, 3, 2.... what the hell does it mean?

In Games, snow: 1) Makes nice footprints that disappear after a while 2) Makes everything a bit slidey. 3) Is always accompanied by music with bells in it. 4) Makes penguins and snowmen appear. In real life, snow: 1) Makes women stand indoors no matter where they are/ where they were going to. 2) Blocks all forms of transport. 3) Causes horrific traffic accidents. 4) Kills old people. So there we have it. Snow in games is much nicer than in real life. SUCK THAT SNOW IN GAMES NAYSAYERS.