Posts

Pokemon Black and White

How many news posts can be squeezed from four new pokemon and three new screenshots ? Too many ? Don't get us wrong, we're a little bit excited but not that excited. Still, we're the fool for expecting anything approaching measured responses on the internet. Especially not in the slums of the gamosphere.

Burn 'em all.

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About 8-10 years ago we did a big ol' search for books about gaming and aside from hilarious compilations and dry history of computing books there was virtually (ha ha) nothing. Searching on Amazon this weekend and boy oh boy are there a load of books with interesting titles about video games (aside from Halo novels, Prima guides etc.): Exodus to The Virtual World, Warcraft Civilization: Social Science in a Virtual World, Casual Revolution, Introduction to Game Studies: Games and Culture, Computer Games: Text, Narrative and Play, Teaching Video Games (Teaching Film and Media Studies), More Than a Game: The Computer Game as Fictional Form and a shed load of others. Sadly most of them are more than a bit hand wavy and 90% of them start with the same hundred or so pages pleading with the non-existent non gaming reader who accidentally picked up the book: "Games are important, my university tenure is so valid, games really are important". I recently went to a book shop to pi

Alan Wake- This is not the Silent Hill you are looking for?

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We managed to get our grubby mitts on awfully named Alan Wake this wochenende. Suffice to say we agree almost perfectly with unreliable Eurogamer's Eleanor Guitar. We almost agree except Mr Wake's constant auto-narrating grated on us even more. The game plays almost like how Silent Hill the movie watches. In our mind he also looks a lot like Lucas not Lucas the other one from Indigo Prophecy 2 so all we really wanted to do was press X to Jason . To be fair, we didn't really press X to Jason much when we played Fahrenheit 2/11. Instead we used the time to check out hot mall chicks. We don't really do malls over here so checking out hot mall chicks was a first for us. It was a double first because when we played Indigo Prophecy 2 we were role-playing Lucas Lucas not Lucas as a transvestite so we were actually lesbian scoping for chicks instead of looking for our son. Bored already? Here's a screenshot from Alan Hill, William Hill's brother. At this point in

BREAKING NEWS FROM THE ESCAPIST

High School Student Uses Gameboy To Create Fake Bomb Think that's neat? I just used a sharpener to create a fake bomb. I just used a credit card to create a fake bomb. I just used my fingers and a mouth noise to create a fake gun. In fact I just this second used a pen and my keys to create a fake fourty foot mechanic titan capable of destroying civilization with nothing but happy thoughts. Sometimes. Just sometimes. I think that the gaming "news" sites stretch the definitions of 'gaming' and 'news'. Have you created a fake something recently?

Metroid Prime 3 A REVIEW OF SORTS Part 1

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Dear all. We have only just finished Metroid Prime 3: Corruption but before snarky web morons laugh out loud and then point out that it took us three years to complete a game, we would like to qualify that it took us 22 hours actually. We had other stuff to do between 2007 and now. The Other Stuff We Did Didn't spend all our time on Internet forums complaining about how we might have to dust off our Wii because we play every single game that comes out to completion in about two days because we are school-aged losers who have no other life to speak of. Competitive sports. The manly ones. Talking about cars. We like the ones with alloys on the pistons. Trying to get platinum medals for everything on Timesplitters Future Perfect even though officially we pretend the series stopped at 2. Emailing Penny Arcade monthly or so with various ruses. They are either so cunning they see through our excellent ruses or they don't read 90% of the shit most people send them. Lying to our younge

FIRST IMPRESSIONS DON'T MATTER*

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Lightning: We have to stop the Zaffels. A Man Who is Whack: Are you sure? Lightning: .... Whack Man: But I thought you were Pincelplips Lightning: I guess we were all along Whack Man: Quick. Get to Hope. Four inches down a corridor later. Hope: Where is lightning? I always hated it since the Pandforma days. Whack Man: I'd like to submit an edict regarding the use of nouns for names. Lightning: Hope! Did you ride the Vangle Goolies lightning? Hope: Hopefully not Lightning. Lightning: I meant lightning not Lightning. lightning: Zzzzzap. A CHOCOBO CALLED CHOCOBO COMES FROM WHACK MAN'S HAIR Hope: Let's get a slave. Apparently, after twenty hours of this, the game gets 'good'. *Perhaps Square should have waited for the science to have been double checked on this one.

Battalion Wars 2

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In a frantic attempt to work our way through the highlights of the Wii back catalogue before the deluge of SMG2, Metroid Other M, No More Heroes 2 and other sequels further off on the horizon we picked up a copy of Battalion Wars 2 for a measly £7.99! Yes it was second hand but it was sold out first hand in my three go-to places. I will support your creativity if you fucking let me at my convenience. Sorry guys but thats commercialism for ya! Battalion Wars 2 is very good and for us it itches the spot that has gone un-itched since the good ol' Starcraft days. You know, schoolboy football with loveable tanks and grunts and ships and stuff. Playing it also reminded us of another one of our all time favourites, Giants: Citizen Kabuto. Play time is dwindling in the single figures and sadly progress on the campaign is already up to 20% (:() but already we're hooked, especially on the online modes which had us cursing the day various anonymooses were born. Also, on a plural personal