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Showing posts with the label vagina warbling

Smash Bros Ultimate: A review of sorts

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You know what guys, I’m not gonna pretend like you haven read a million genuine articles, fan reviews or perused some shouty American youtube channel, about how much of a success Smash Bros is! By now if you have any interest in Smash, you will have played it, and you will know that it is good. Our option should not hold any weight as to whether you would like to play this or not, if it does hold some sway, please reassess your priorities/life. So in aging sardonic fashion I would like to accost you with my almost unjustifiable nitpicks, so get your eyeballs round this! Vault Major gripe number 1, On the main menu the Vault is inexplicably unselectable without first missing it entirely and either selecting the two surrounding menus or worse, opening the right accordion navigation bar, nothing is more fun! Touch screen We are all clear and aware that the switch screen has touch capabilities, but instead of utilising this you are given an actual hand/f

Demo Seen and the 3DS:Part 2

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Hurrah! The 3DS being so nice 'n' all has pulled us kicking out of the slump thinking about all that time we'd spent on gaming when we felt that gaming just didn't love us anymore (thanks XBONE and PS4). We've spent over 15 hours playing through demos alone. Here's Part 2 of our coverage. If you're even here reading it, congratulations, you're unique. Part 1, for the hard of clicking is embedded in the word here not that here or the last here or that here, it's here.  /Sigh Dead or Alive Dimensions We remember Dead or Alive . We still say "It is like the desert" when the situation calls for it. Dead or Alive Dimensions looks like Dead or Alive and sounds like Dead or Alive .It's probably Dead or Alive which means playing it online will be an experiment of continuously getting destroyed by the three people still playing it. We're happy to report that there was slow motion upvag in the cutscene and vibratits in the demo a

Game OS's enter Brand wars.

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The great brand wars of our age include: VHS versus betamax, Megadrive versus SNES and HD-DVD versus BluRay. But soon we are going to see a slew of budget "Android" platform devices. These devices are projected to be one of the next steps in gaming, budget range hardware to play mobile platform targeted games; I predict there will be another brand war. Don't get me wrong I am not condoning these devices, in fact my official standpoint on these Android devices is quite negative. They remind me of the 50-in-1 games "my first console" plastic abortions you could get in Argos. Further to this, it bothers me that the OS is a platform, consoles are a platform, they have traditionally had vast improvements budget-wise over a typical PC due to dedicated architecture, these android devices are just running a gimped version of linux on an underpowered PC. Despite all this it will more than likely succeed in the casual market all it needs is focused marketing iterat

PSFore-play

Cock teases. So the gist of that expo was: There will be a PS4. It will have a controller. The Vita will be a hi-tech WiiU controller. There will be games. Very little on the hardware, except that it can render an old man with eyebrow twitches. The share button is for uploading game videos/screenshots.  What does the damned box that sits under your TV  look like?!? Will it be another kitchen utility a la the lean mean, fat reducing machine? Pfft. Love and Diablo 3 as well, Richie X 

Dragon Aged? Like a vintage cheese.

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Avid reader! You may have noticed one third of TGAM hasn't been pulling their weight around here recently. That is because Richie! got sucked into Dragon Age: Origins. Big time. We managed to lure him far enough away from the 360 version of the game but only with the promise of helping explain to you avid reader why 'marmite' Dragon Age was worth playing, how Richie likes to roll (two meanings!) and why all dwarves are scots. How do you normally play RPGs? General dick or worthy saint? It's a tough one and particularly pertinent in Dragon Age as there are achievements either way for the moral decisions you make in the game. And unless you are Save Scumming you are only going to get one half of them on your first play through. But in general, when I play any game, I tend to be as nice as possible, helping everyone I can find, doing every quest I can, but also most importantly getting to grips with the world and it's mechanics, then when I'm aware of the world