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Showing posts with the label Mobile games Would/Wouldn't

OCD*, Pokémon Home and a Race Against Time

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Despite Pokémon Home's rough launch and mixed feature set, the launch of the app for mobile and game(?) for the Nintendo Switch now means we can view the fruits of our decades of monster collecting with the greates of ease and abandon. As soon as was feasible, launch week bugs be damned (don't save in Lumiose City), we shifted everything over to Home and basked in the glory of our work. It was complete. Or was it?

Nestled within the innocuous pokédex feature on Pokémon Home is a search filter for 'unregistered'. Out of curiosity we ran a few searches on pokémon, moves and abilities to see BLANK ENTRIES. On top of that, the mobile app has a series of challenges that award next to pointless stickers for your profile for completion. The challenges range from making specific 'theme' trades but also for registering pokémon from different games, from different regions and forms etc. To our further shock and horror. We didn't have them all(tm).

The Challenge
Deter…

Pokémon Go: Back with a Vengance

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Oh boy,

Many moons ago we covered Pokémon Go in our regular/not-so-regular bit: Are mobile phone games any good yet? And our list of gripes beyond not being able to log in included:
Does this actually have anything to do with the actual games (is it canon?) Whats the point, beyond collecting them with an annoying catch mechanicHow do gyms work, why is no one explaining this? Two years on and even though there is still login problems (particularly trainer club accounts), the question of whether this will ever be compatible with the real games is still being asked, the game has improved! Not massively, it has not arisen like a mighty Ho-oh from the ashed of its former self, but neither has it eeked out like a wet quagsire queef.

Niantic have bothered themselves to include a friend system, this allows you to connect with your IRL friends and rival each other, and even help each other out with trades. This only seems like a little thing but it has re-kindled a little bit of love for the g…

Are Mobile Games Any Good Yet? Pokemon Go

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Not got enough Nintendo accounts? In between your Nintendo.com account, Pokemon Global Link account, Nintendo ID, Nintendo Online Store account, MyNintendo and MiiVerse accounts, Nintendo has recently launched Pokemon Go which works with your Pokemon Trainer Club account which is the same as but not the same as the Pokemon Global Link account. 
Pokemon Go is a mobile game that lets you catch pokemon IN THE REAL WORLD. Here's our exclusive hands on review:
It's a bit slow to get going but once you login

And then you get to have another go, oh.

Gameplay a tad repetitive but nice image of Golbat 9/10

Are Mobile Games Any Good Yet? Miitomo Edition

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Not got enough Nintendo accounts? In between your Nintendo.com account, Pokemon Global Link account, Nintendo ID, Nintendo Online Store account and MiiVerse accounts, Nintendo has recently launched MyNintendo the new-all you need account for worse news and updates that independent Nintendo fan sites and the first vehicle that uses the MyNintendo account is mobile 'app' Miitomo
Ninty has been trialling gentle-disgustingly fierce micro-transactions from free to play games like Pokemon Shuffle and Pokemon Rumble World through to not-ware Nintendo Badge Arcade and presumably a lucrative line in customising your handheld with 3DS themes.  
Miitomo, like Nintendo Badge Arcade, takes pay-to-not-really-play to the next level. What is Miitomo? It's a hyper scummy new social network that uses Miis. The app is so blatantly aimed at capturing the social network hype, for example, you can earn large amounts of one of the three new MyNintendo currencies just by linking Miitomo to your…

Are mobile games any good yet? 2014 edition

Yeah they are not too bad. Still a bit arse-rapey with monetization.

Love versus Zombies 2,

Richie X

Mini Review- Slayin

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Chuff_72 is back. He's stranded on a isolated island somewhere and only has his mobile phone to play games on. He's been kind enough to wire his reviews over so we can laugh and point at mobile 'games'. They'll never be the future.
This is Slayin (no “g”, no fucking apostrophe either, apparently RETRO means bad grammar too).

Despite looking like shit it’s really enjoyable, and a cleverly condensed RPG in the mould of the infinite runner, because that little blue lump keeps on running, but only on one screen.
If you run into stuff with your pointy thing they die, if they run into your back passage you lose a chunk of life. There is a jump button, it’s the massive grey button on the right. The controls (left, right, jump) work for once, which is cause for much rejoicing.
During levels you can run into a shop and buy upgrades to keep you running, there are boss fights, and cheevos. It’s really good. That’s pretty much the review, below is all moaning so feel free to s…

Might & Magic: Clash of Heroes: iOS Fudged Edition

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Chuff's our man on the mobile. He's been playing some games on mobiles and some thoughts have struck him thensly. Note, there's a super secret ending to this post only available to those who have played the game:

Well shit, when did “Might And Magic” become “Might & Magic”? What a god damn shame, I guess that’s a pretty damning indictment of our life and times right there. I guess As, Ns and Ds and pretty fucking old school, we don’t want to alienate the Kids.

A little pre-amble; My first experience of the Might And Magic series of games was on the original Playstation, it was an incredible Third Person, True 3D extravaganza called Crusaders of Might and Magic.
Review: 10/10
WARNING IGN LINK Wait! Three out of Ten?

I guess my memories of the game are pretty muddy…

Well, anyway, after smashing that game to bits I was hooked. Come the Playstation 2 era and the first game I played and completed was the awesome sequel, Warriors Of Might And Magic.

Review: 10/10

WARNING ANOTHE…

Mini Review: Punch Quest

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Chuff_72 is our man on the Mobile. He's a fallen hero, once a proud gamer now weighed down by responsibilities and such. Where he once played all kinds of games for the betterment of man his gaming life is now spent hiding in toilets and bushes trying to squeeze the most out of mobile games. Games which some people are calling the future and others are saying, steady on pal, Angry Birds and Cut the Rope we're alright but the rest is a big bucket of clunge fodder. He's been tapping away at a little game called Punch Quest. Over to you Chuff, half man, shadow of his former self. This article was sent to us from inside a dustbin so low has the gamer fallen:

 Turns out that running infinitely is fun times.



DINOSAUR ALERT. Looks shit, right? A budget SNES game. This is Punch Quest, it’s fucking great. 
It’s an “infinite running” game, which is essentially a platformer where you don’t have to worry about pressing “right” on the d-pad, because we don’t have time for that shit anym…

Mini Reviews: Mutant Mudds

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Chuff's back. He's our man on mobile which has been pretending to do games for along time. Over to Chuff_72.
Look at this shit, does this look like the sort of game a tough Role Playing Mother Fucker like me would be into? 
So for some reason (for any reason - AMERICA), I’ve been attracted to these really tough, unforgiving platformers that have been creeping into the App store. I really got into a game called League of Evil, smashed it, then smashed up the sequel, three starring the shit out of it BEFORE they nerfed all the completion times so your Mum (Mom) could finish it too while she’s rubbing one out (rubbing, furiously, there’s a squeaky noise and everything).
It’s got some story. It’s about a boy who has an uncomfortably close relationship with his Granny who he keeps in the attic. Then Aliens happen. 
The controls are pretty gross, a button* for up, down, left and right, NO DIAGONAL, because if the C64 taught us anything, it’s that pressing the Diagonal Button to jum…

PICTURE US NAKED

PICTURE US NAKED SMOKING CIGARS AND QUOFFING. Just quoffing in general. 
What is the reason for such unspecified quoffing and cigars you may ask? Well it's the fall of Zynga, Cheryl.
This is an announcement about us "telling you so" and laughing at all those game designer people, who like schoolboys playing schoolboy football at school neglecting long term tactics or planning and just chasing the ball which is a metaphor for what's shiny, new and profitable for one company but not the fourteen thousand smaller ones that set themselves up to just copy someone else's success.
This is now us actually telling you so and laughing at all those game designer people, who like schoolboys playing schoolboy football at school neglecting long term tactics or planning and just chasing the ball which is a metaphor for what's shiny, new and profitable for one company but not the fourteen thousand smaller ones that set themselves up to just copy someone else's succe…

Mobile games are they good yet?

Ugh I cant stop playing Taptitude.

Yeah I know I have a Windows7 phone, get your giggling out.
I had an android phone for a while, and where it is good with all the (then) free apps, its gimpy linuxy experience couldn't do simple stuff like texting or phoning... big fat fail for me. And Apple, well I'm still on the fence. Firstly I don't really want to conform to the millions of "individual snowflakes"out there, and secondly are still no proper games for Apple... there is iOS games, re-imaginings of older games, which look pretty much the same as they did ten years ago or jumped up browser games. They are pretty but not for me. So I decided to go for a Win7 Phone, it tied into my 360 account, its fast, it works, it's more user friendly than the other "smart" phones, but there is fuck all for it, and no fucker wants it, nobody believes windows may have a product that is "easy to use" 

Anyways, there is a couple of games for win7 Angry birds…

Moetry in Potion

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Last time we were all gushy over five Wii games that have re-ignited our passion for games. Today we pick up that blog post, flip her over only to see the puss filled and warty fissures caused by the ingrowing hairs that is average Wiiware games.
Just in case you've been a fanboy of other formats up until this second, Wiiware is the Nintendo Wii's downloadable game service. It is a real mixed bag. There are gems and they are the likes of Lit, Maboshi's Arcade, Jet Rockett, Final Fantasy: Subtitle subtitle, Nyx's Quest, Sword and Soldiers, Lost Winds 1 and 2, World of Goo, Art of Balance... wow now that we start to list them there's quite a few good 'uns and many that put bigger box release games to shame. TO SHAME WITH YOU. 
The problem in the past has been that Nintendo (Europe at least) has been fickle in the extreme. The ficklest in fact with allowing players to try Wiiware demos before they buy. Sometimes NoE releasing a dribble of Wiiware demos. Sometimes…

Game continues to slide...

If you live in or have traveled through London you will have no doubt encountered discarded newspapers on tubes, in the street and in lunch and common rooms across the capital. If you are lucky you might find yourself with the Evening Standard or the Metro to help lunch/train/bus journeys fly by a bit quicker. If you are unlucky it will be City A.M. a boring newspaper about the city and stocks and graphs and FTSEs. However, recently I've not minded flicking through City A.M if only to follow the slip slide of GAME group into liquidation (possibly). In today's City A.M some goon from GAME group was blaming the lack of a new console cycle as a cause of their poor success. Okay, so I know very little about economics and markets and stocks and shares but I'm going to go out on a limb to say that it is pretty retarded to rely on the console cycles in order for the business to stay afloat. In the same week that sales of the Wii have topped 30 million across Europe you'd thi…

Chuff_72 Strikes Again: Infinity Blade 2

Are mobile games any good yet? Are they even proper games? For dinosaur games no definitely not. Chuff_72 continues to look at mobile games and work out if they are any good yet here's his skinny on Infinity Blade 2. Infinity Blade 2, in my opinion, is the sequel to Infinity Blade, and it’s a good one. I'm fairly certain I completed the first game, where *SPOILERS* you defeat the End Boss *END SPOILERS*, however at the start of this one he is not dead, I guess that's standard for an Immortal… I'm not sure why we all thought he was dead, he clearly states he is Immortal a number of times, so yeah, not unexpected. The original ended on a cliff-hanger of sorts, and there was a cool "hidden" ending. This time there is a new random woman, the main guy has gained a name and a voice and then he dies, only to wake up in a metal cave/room, wearing only his pants. While the game does seem to just chuck you in head first apparently there is a whole novella covering t…

Digital Convergence and why it matters to gaming and Nintendo

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For the last 10 years, the consumer electronics industry has been converging towards mobile.
At one point you would have all your digital devices, your digital camera, your camcorder, your MP3 Player, your Sat Nav, your PDA and your Mobile Phone all connected up to you PC which acted as a Digital hub for all that content and media.  Not that long ago right?  In fact I still have all of these devices, i just use them way less now or not at all.  These of course have been largely replaced by the one device to rule them all, the smartphone.
I have used 4 smartphone platforms, Windows Mobile, Android, Blackberry and most recently iOS. I've gotta say carrying around one device rather than seven is obviously convenient, but only recently have these devices matured to a level where it's also realistic. When Apple CEO Steve Jobs was recently asked what the future of the PC was, he used an interesting automotive analogy. 
"When we were an agrarian nation, all cars were trucks. But as peop…