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Showing posts from May, 2009

The skinny one is feeling up the fatties bewbs.

Hideo Kojima updates site with cryptic message

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Hideo "hasn't made a decent game for quite a while and won't be continuing Metal Gear series" has been updating the Kojima productions site with all kinds of bullshit. Scenic imagery, counters that countdown to more counters and other crap that has Kotaku and nobody else even remotely excited. Until this morning that is.



At 4am this morning GMT the above image went up on the site. What does it mean?

The New Forms of Rotom

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As you may know we are fans of the children game Pokemon. A new remake is out ensuring yet more millions of daktarin for Nintendo. This time around though Pokemon Platinum adds nothing new to the game series and the new edition is very very stingy with the introduction of a very generous no new pokemon. Yes, that's a fat zero. It appears that 'forms' are the new thing to get adults to part with money to please their children. So it's the same pokemon except they have slightly different sprite set. And Pokemon Platinum isn't short on delivering remakes of existing pokemon inside a whole game which is essentially a remake.

Giratina and Shaymin now have two different forms (seriously does anyone even care about this. We don't and we're a semi-interested party). But Rotom get's a whopping six new forms to not care about! Originally pokemon used to be about mirroring the organisms we find in nature (as well as representing legends, myths, umm art forms and ma…

Wii Play Tanks! has been doing my head in, I just want a gold medal but keep dying god it is so annoying I just want to beat it but can't.

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Shit. Did it again.

DJ Hero peripherals announced!

Following in the footsteps of non-game series Guitar Hero, now on it's 16th iteration, and Rock Band (are we on 4? 5? nobody cares), the upcoming DJ Hero is also keen to milk the shit out of mainstream non gamers with these three peripherals so you can play with your mates:

DJ Hero Dex- Estimated Retail Price $140 pounds.
This killer dex will show how truly easy the job of a DJ is. Just put on a compilation CD and watch the game play itself. In the meantime you can feel up some jailbait who is on an AK trip.

DJ Hero Manbag- Estimated Retail price 54 euros.
Show off to all your friends how much of a super underground artisan you are with this mass produced man/record bag available at any shitty independent music shop that still sells vinyl. Customise it with up to four slots for anti war and graffiti inspired badges.

DJ Hero Beanie- Estimated Retail price £30.
Look like a youth knob at and away from the console! Has three slots for official DJ Hero 'ironic goth message badges' so…

A friend in need

Semi-retired Ram Raider have come back out of retirement again again to bring us this news about a game called Darkfall. The essence of the issue, for those too lazy to hit the link is that Eurogamer staffer Ed Zitron was unfairly treated by the company behind Darkfall Online, Aventurine. Including the not deleting of personal details put up on a forum. Or something.

This is unfair treatment and an issue that we are happy to bring more attention to, through the time honoured review of Darkfall Online Boxart.

Cunzy1 1: What? No boxart?

Richie: No due to the cutbacks we can't afford to google images anymore so we'll have to review the game title itself.

Cunzy1 1: Another world first from TGAM. Second greatest etc. etc.

Richie: Hmmm. Darkfall. Doesn't that game exist?

Cunzy1 1: No you are thinking of Darkwatch.

Richie: No. I was thinking of the Darkness.

Cunzy1 1: Isn't that a band? Also, I was thinking of Dark Stalkers.

Richie: Racist.

Cunzy1 1: Not racist. But by finding me racis…