Friday, February 27, 2015

South Park: Stick of Truth

So again we are reviewing a game that came out ages ago. But man... we just completed this bad boy and its fantastic.

First up is the animation! It's flawless the whole thing plays like watching an episode, all the story events include your character right in there wearing what ever clothes you have given them, outside of that the player moves in familiar areas and it feels exactly like South Park. Extreme Kudos on that.

Gameplay is sweet, the RPG mechanic they put in there is so much fun to play the character attacks are fun, if a bit repetitive, to watch. You level up you gain access to new and funny attacks, you can even ply with perks and customise your character further.

The plot, The game is plot driven and it's so fucking funny, there is so many nods to references throughout the entire 20ish years South Park has been running. It's got the same laugh out loud, shock, cringe, factor as the show, brilliantly done. There are some familiar references and a couple of repeated jokes from the show, but all is forgiven in the context.

So what is shit? there is a couple of let downs the game menu is fucking horrible and unintuitive you constantly open it up, have to scroll through, and when you get to what you want it feels like you are not sure what button to confirm/deselect something, BAD UI. The powers you get all interact with the environment, and frequently just annoy you they are a shoehorned puzzle mechanic which is not that puzzling. "oh look a teleport node, I best teleport than shall I?" Replayability wise, well I have played through, there are a few more collectables to get, but short of getting some achievements, I am not motivated. What bothers me more is that at the start of the game there was four choices of character class, I went the fighter, who quite frankly had boring skills, but I never got to see the other classes in action. And honestly I don't want to play through the plot again to see them, shame.and on that note you cant customize the support characters, They get 3 generic attacks and that's it really.

All in all, If you like South Park, just fucking play this. It's brilliant.

Love and Stinky dildos

Richie X

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Get Your Smashies on

So we finally fucking did it.

We got ourselves a "Next-Gen" console. The Wii U. Wait what do you mean it's not a next-gen console? It's actually less powerful than the Xbox 360, never mind the Xbox one? Well whatever, SMASH BROS BITCHES!!!

Oh here have some fucking screenshots:
There's me Dual fucking wielding, as you should be able to do in any real sequel. 

Dual wield goggle bitch pikachu. 

Cunzy and I chilling out on Mario Galaxy world.

Cunzy and Togepi about to fuck up shit.

Yeah take that, fucking lvl 50 amiibo Peach! 

Cunzy checks out Wii fit girls butt... Alone time required.

Yeah So Smash Bros, makes a WiiU worth it.

Love and Sticky Bombs,

Richie X

Friday, February 06, 2015

Season's Greetings

Due to austerity measures, we're only allowed to post one article a year.

Here is this years.

Merry Xmas 2015 everybody.

Cunzy1 1 & Richie too.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

A game from 10 years ago.

So I fucking bought San Andreas... Again. (Currently owned: PS2, Steam, Windows Phone, now 360)

It was really just on a whim, £2.99 on XBox Live seemed well worth a punt. I had a dick-about with the iOS/Windows Phone version and as cool as it is to have San Andreas in your "pocket" the controls are just wank. Nobody likes a fake dual analogue stick game.

But the 360 version is worth it. Its prettier than 10 years ago, it now has achievements, it actually stands the test of time! Downside is after playing the iOS version I am very aware that this is the port of the iOS version and now a newly reconditioned version, there are obvious giveaways with the controls. And it crashed a couple of times.

Love and Hot Coffee,


Tuesday, September 09, 2014

I Love Rodland

A beautiful bit of "16-bit" work.

The whole thing is just the epitome of the crazy Japanese pixel are you come to expect from the mid 90's

You don't see shit like this nowadays, no siree, Its all fucking hyper real sci-fi men with brown hair.

Where's the fantasy where is the off-the-wall utter madness you used to see in games.

Even the fucking F2P Monstrosities with cartoon graphics still settle into the old D&D tropes.

Love and Fuck you, I'm old, I get it,

Richie X

Friday, September 05, 2014

Over 200 Games Journalists Write an Open Letter To Gamers. Stop the Hate

#GamerGate continues to tear the gaming community apart. Brothers and sisters fight. But there's a shining light. Writing letters to end the hate, harassment and nastiness that haunts our hobby. Theoretical game developers and community managers wrote their letter and gamers have their petition but as a community, video game journalists have not yet spoken out as a group. Until next week that is. An anonymous source who wants to remain anonymous sent us this letter which will be going out next week. 

Dear Gamers (R.I.P)
Please stop the hate. The only thing we have is the power of our opinion on games and gaming related things and if you don't like that then we don't get paid. Well a lot of us don't get properly paid in the first place. In fact being a games journalist sucks. We should really do something to improve our plight.
Anyways. If games journalists stop writing are we not just gamers? Please stop the hate.

7 of 9
Albert Brooks
Andre Romelle Young
Anthony North
Barney McGrew
Bonnie and Clyde
The Busby babes
Bruce Wayne
Charles Earl Bowles
Charles Foster Kane
Clark Kent
Clint Eastwood
Clive Hamilton
The crew of the Nostromo
The dinobots
Dr. Mario
The Easter Bunny
Edward Kelly
Ellis Bell
Father Christmas
Huey, Dewey and Louie
Huey Lewis and the News
Jane Doe
Jessie and James
Jessie James
John Doe
Jorge Mario Bergoglio
Kaiser Soze
Kane and Lynch
Kane and Abel
Katrina and the Waves
Killer 7
The magnificent seven
Malcolm X
Megaman X
Metal Mario
Mike and the Mechanics
Oswell Spencer
Sir Percy Blakeney
Peter Quill
Richard John Bingham
The Rockford Peaches
Roger Rabbit
Saloth Sar
Professor Samuel Oak
Santa Claus
S.T.A.R.S Alpha Team
S.T.A.R.S Bravo Team
Steveland Judkins
Terry Jean Bollette
The seven dwarves
Thelma and Louise
Tom Marvolo Riddle
Toon Link
Tooth Fairy
Unown (all 28 forms)
The Wonderful 101

UPDATE: Parts or all of this post may be deleted, reinstated, edited, changed across all dimensions and we reserve the right to not have to inform any of you of those changes, unless we want to. 

Cant Beat them...

Here! You know Kotaku right, in between all their "journalism" they do crap about Japanese Culture. Like stuff about food shaped like an obscure animal from the most talked about cult dating sim from that week. Or when they talk about their favorite Anime from this season and genuinely discuss the quality of the "boing" noise that the overly endowed female character's boobs make when they bounce/jiggle/squish.

Well here is our favorite bit of Japanese culture:


They are hitting western shores now.

I'm too old now for Dubstep and following Radio 1. But this I can get behind.

Be warned Babymetal, TGAM may just go Full Stalker on this one.


Richie X

Wednesday, September 03, 2014

Alcamoth Citizen Says: The topic of the hour/day/week

With the gaming community tearing itself asunder, the developers, gamers and gamers who get paid to write about games turning on each other like cornered animals (online of course, nothing is happening in real life) this conflict between brother and sister is spilling over into game worlds too. Our in-game correspondent,Alcamoth Citizen reporting from Xenoblade Chronicles has this to say about the burning issue: 'Why isn't anyone excited about Jigglypuff being potentially leaked for Super Smash Brothers?'.

So there we have it. If only other game journalists took this news quite as seriously.