That guy's a Maniac...

Brain Aged and weighed, village weeded, plants watered, fossil collected, furniture bought, pal-parked, nintendogs fed, watered and walked, berries picked, trees watered, lottery entered, vocabulary expanded, ribbon obtained, berries given, letters written, battlegrounds grounded?, shadowcloth created, dungeon cleared, food cooked, fish caught, BMI checked and mystery gifts collected. What dailies* have you done today? *First one to say wank earns the arcade award Most Useless.

Bored of Summer shitty games? Want something more than news about more crappy rock updates for Rock Band/Guitar Hero? E3 is here to deliver. Every year E3 has a theme. This year the theme is "innovation" and the line up of games on show really underpins that. New Resident Evil 5 trailer!- Like Resident Evil 4 but shinier with vehicle sections. Final Fantasy XIII - Like Final Fantasy X but shinier with more androgenous characters/airships and the same summons etc. from every other game. Vehicle sections yet to be confirmed. Gear of War 2 - Like Gears of War but with vehicles. Dante confirmed for Soul Calibre IV!- Like Soul Calibur III but with Dante. Metal Gear Flaccid 4 special edition - With extra cutscenes and the option to turn "jam" on/off because it's wacky you see! It's random and wacky! Kojiiiima is a random whacko! Woo! Woo! I am a train. Rockband 2 Band Manager peripheral - Introduce yet another key aspect of being in a real band! Mo

Welcome ladies and gentlemen for yet another inappropriate combination of sexual release and Nintendo. Look someone has made some attachments for the Wiimote that increase stimulation... TBH Annalee over at io9 says, "Everybody wants to figure out how to put their thinger in somebody else's thinger via bluetooth or TCP/IP or port 1337. " , and this attachment has to be the least inventive Thinger2Thinger yet. Like no-one else thought of it! 2 anal-tickles out of 10 poor effort, see me after class. Luv n Hugs, Richie X

To all those people who have just woken up from an 8, 20, 32 or 44 month coma. Here's Jill Valentine wishing you merry christmas! Thanks the internet! Thanks Jill! Next on TGAM! Happy VJ day and welcome to the 21st Century for those who have had comas for a very long time.

Aaaaron Greenberg is some guy . He was saying some thing about games earlier. But he does have a massive SLAP. Just look at it. It goes on and on. Aaaaaaron Greenberg you have a fine SLAP sir. A fine SLAP. Do you get security guards to patrol it? Do you? Do you sell parts of it for advertising or mineral prospecting? Is your slap self sustaining? It could be. That is some prime farming land you have above your eyes there sir. Yes it is. So there we have it. Greenberg-Slap.

Finally!

So, I finally did the "Endless Setlist" 58 songs, around 5 hours straight playing it... Sickening. Next up... Rock band 2. It has been announced , unannounced , and maybe-rumoured for an acceptable release date in europe (uk) this time. Bet it doesn't, I bet the Americans get it in September, and then we get it 6-9 months later. I mean seriously what the hell is that! The first Rock Band was almost forgiveable, given their excuse was hardware (fake drums, fake guitars) shortages. But this time round no excuses... Harmonix/EA, you are racist, hands down racist. *sulk* Luv n Hugs, Richie