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Showing posts with the label Quality Assurance

Every Day We're Pokemon Shuffling

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Like everyone else we were reaching for the pitchforks when Pokemon Shuffle was launched, a title published by Nintendo with explicitly freemium bullshit unlike the freemieish Steel Diver: Sub Wars which started life slightly less free to play and then got updated to be slightly more free to play and of course the Pokemon Trading Card Game Online which is a card game so for whatever reason the gaming press give it a pass or don't bother covering it. As lifelong Pokemon players I'd also like to throw in the "physically drag yourself to a GAME store to download a legendary Pokemon" for the Pokemon main series into the same category but only because those experiences have been so harrowing in the past it feels like a cost that transcends money. Our trajectory with this game went like this: Boo. Hiss. Ninty sellouts!
It's... okay but I'd like to buy it. I doubt I'll stick with it. 
Has it been two and a half hours yet? Has it been two and a half hours yet?
S…

Why I'll Never Be A PC Gamer

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Our part of the Internet is all a flutter about A not THE Steam Box (Piston or something) and now some biometric gaze tracking thing but I for one couldn't care less. Note, American friends it is couldn't care less not could care less. Could care less means that you still care about something. You could lower the level of care about something. Couldn't care less. Could Not.
Anyway, I'll probably never be a PC gamer. Don't get me wrong I think PC games can be brilliant. Rock Paper Shotgun is my little window into the world of PC games and every now and then I'll get a little bit jealous of the gaming opportunities I'm missing out on. I love the stories that come from the RPS team and the unique gaming experiences that can only be had with mods, indie platformers almost as good as older platformers, the 'five second' games and loser generated stuff that really reaches into the upper echelons of what gaming is capable of being. On the other hand thoug…

Book Club

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Occasionally we stub out our crack pipe (hard but do-able), log off the forums and give up our angry Internet man jig to don a smocking jacket, pour ourselves a Malibu and read a book like in the olden times. This weekend we donned three smoking jackets, poured ourselves three Malibus and finished reading three books. Our English teacher will be so happy with us. 
First up is Jacked The Unauthorised Behind-The-Scenes Story of Grand Theft Auto which makes us feel ignorant about the history of video games in the same way that Replay A History of Video Games highlights how ignorant many games 'journalists' are. Yeah we loved Lemmings and knew that DMA made GTA but we didn't know that they were Scottish. Shame on us. The book is a good read. The first thing it made us do is want to play GTA again. Five hours later we picked the book up again and cringed over how gushy Kushner can be sometimes. But I guess that's the deal when you are writing an unofficial biography, it pa…

House of The Dead

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It's always nice to find yourself in the household of a fellow gamer. By far the best bit is perusing their game collection and is also why we hide Shadow the Hedgehog from public display, at the back, in a box re-sleeved with a CoD insert. It is also is a prime time to play those game you wouldn't have bought yourself but are mildly curious about. Hence how we ended up playing House of the Dead 2, 3 and Overkill.
Way back when, our family had a Mega Drive and so I grew up on all things SEGA. Sega at home is fine. Arcade SEGA though? Ugh. Unlike rigid and structured games for the home consoles Arcade games are noisy, flashy and 'loose' a bit like your mother. Arcade games are a Waquila suicide* to home games single malt whiskey. Created to rinse your wallet they lack the structure I need to not go foetal and I still shudder when I have to choose 'arcade mode' from a game menu. It's why I'd been avoiding HoTD.

I got over it though and HoTD is fun if not…

Quality Assurance: The ass-end of the Industry.

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Its not often we do a serious article, you know, about real things... But this is something I have had a lot of experience with. And would like to share a few gripes and annoyances with the Industry, specifically "Quality" assurance.

Hey there little man, do you like computer games? Well clearly getting a job in the games industry makes sense that way all your n00b-pwning skills you have accumulated wont go to waste; they are now "experience". So how could you get in the industry? Programming? Nope. that involves a course which takes 3 years, by which time the language you have learned may be defunct. 3D Modelling? Again nope, more course work, and an Art degree... Games Design, Yeah why not, you have played so many games, you know what makes a good game you could write an epic RPG, or create the next 3rd person hack n' slash hit. Oh no, wait, you have to spend more years doing a course on how to design games, which are ultimately, bested in gameplay buy indie …