An Announcement and An Introduction

ANNOUNCING
In October last year the TGAM board of directors met to discuss how Second Greatest Video Game Blog On The Internet, That Guy's a Maniac (TGAM) was performing. We've listened to our consumers and things are going to change around here. First off, there's going to be no more features that we startand don't finish (like TGAM top 50 ultimate TGAM top games best list of best games of all time ever, Unit of the Month or That guy's Interviews) also we've listened to you and what you want is more Resident Evil coverage. We are called That Guy's A Maniac and should honour that legacy. So we'll be seeing some changes around here. Changes we think you will both like. Also, stakeholders have been complaining that TGAM is a it of a sausage fest when we aren't pretending to be women and we need to be covering video games from the female perspective a bit more Which brings me neatly onto OUR BRAND NEW FEATURE:

INTRODUCING....

Yes, we know we don't keep you updated on the latest games news by simply repasting all the news that has already been posted all over the Internet so we're going to launch a new Internet exclusive, reflections on the latest video game news from our NPC reporter on the ground. Say hello to the latest addition to team TGAM, Alcamoth Citizen. She's a sassy bird lady who will be reflecting on the latest news from inside popular Wii game Xenoblade Chronicles in our new feature called ALCAMOTH CITIZEN SAYS. Do you have any thoughts about joining the team here?

I'm sure he did! That Internet friends is what we call an exclusive. You heard it here first. The first of many changes the team here are bringing to you Today and Tomorrow Channel.

What game is that then?

This landed in our feedreader from the normally OK EDGE magazine.

Self-styled "game director and alleged psychopath" David Jaffe has kicked off Twisted Metal's marketing campaign in typical style, inviting players to fire an automatic weapon from the comfort of their desks. "I'm here to tell you about the epic return of gaming's most sick, depraved franchise," he says. "It's Twisted Fucking Metal on PlayStation 3, and it's back, bitch."

Self-styled "game director and alleged psychopath" David Jaffe has kicked off Twisted Metal's marketing campaign in typical style, inviting players to fire an automatic weapon from the comfort of their desks. "I'm here to tell you about the epic return of gaming's most sick, depraved franchise," he says. "It's Twisted Fucking Metal on PlayStation 3, and it's back, bitch.

Shoot My Truck

Self-styled "game director and alleged psychopath" David Jaffe has kicked off Twisted Metal's marketing campaign in typical style, inviting players to fire an automatic weapon from the comfort of their desks.
"I'm here to tell you about the epic return of gaming's most sick, depraved franchise," he says. "It's Twisted Fucking Metal on PlayStation 3, and it's back, bitch.

I prefer the top one which doesn't have the links but does have a speech exclamation mark after bitch. 

Also, fuck Psychonauts 2 we need somebody to find the cash to make Brian Howe's SLUTTY MERMAID CHAINSAW GENOCIDE. "Time to make some merm-alade" is surely enough of a pitch to get this game (at least the opening FMV) made.

Gayms Jurnalism

Remember the GMAs? You know the Games Media Awards? Well it is a UK awards thing for people who write about games. one of last year's nominees was Chris Scullion who writes for the Official Nintendo magazine in the category SPECIALIST WRITER PRINT. Sadly he didn't win and presumably he was having an off day in OPM 79 when he writes the following about Dragon Quest X:

Also making the decision tricky [about whether to get the Wii or Wii U version] is the fact that, as it's the first RPG [on the Wii] to focus more on online adventuring (much like Monster Hunter Tri)...

Is it the first or is it not? Snark snark snark.

Dilemma: Guiness World Records Gamer's Edition

Aaaaaargh. I hate it. Stupid records like 'World's Most Successful Pokemon Playing Family'. That isn't a proper record. 'World's largest controller' IT WAS PURPOSEFULLY BUILT FOR THE BOOK. How does that count? What an utter nonsense. Combining the world's most pointless record keeping organisation with one of the world's most pointless leisure-time endeavours surely deserves a record for the world's most pointless collaboration? Also 90% of these records are absolutely contested, instantly out of date and very poorly monitored and some come from the INTERNET of all places. We all saw King of Kong are those guys to be trusted?

Woooooah. Amazing. Did you know that: The Elder Scrolls: Daggerfall has 750,000 NPCs? And that the fastest speed run of Tomb Raider is 2hrs and 39 minutes by a woman! Did you know that Resident Evil 2 is the most popular RE on the PS2 (change the record dudes)? Did you know that Darkstalkers umm mash up/spin off Vampire Chronicle was the first online fighting game? Also, how cool is it to see a book about video games on sale on the high street? IT'S LIKE GAMING IS ALL PROPER AND STUFF FOR REAL PEOPLE.

To buy or not to buy given that one Guinness World Record's Gamer's Edition is already two too many for our household. Hmmmmmmmmm.

Soul Calibur V: This is what it's about now.

The other character is supposed to be Lightning from FFXIII but is pretty poor The Dragonborn looks the part though! And I love the arrow in the knee!

Love and There should be a word to describe being bored and trawling though YouTube,

Richie X

Battling with FFXIII before FFXIII-2

You know saying things are "like Marmite", is like Marmite you either love it or hate it. That's right there's no middle ground its black or white no shades of gray, no 6 out of 10's, its either 0 out of 10, or 10 out of 10! They are opposite ends of the spectrum, Violet and Red. missing out all the greens, blues, oranges and yellows in between.

And Squaresoft are apparently the same, their games are either "teh SuXXorZ" or "Epic wins". After a slew of Epic wins: VII, VIII, IX, X, everything just seemed to go wrong for them, they made a very girly sequel to FFX, an expensive niche MMO (for PC AND consoles), a single player MMO at the end of a consoles lifecycle, and then XIII finally! After nearly 10 years since FFX, Square made an actual RPG where you level up your dudes and you know chocobos and stuff. But something was wrong... there was grumblings in the internet there was horrible talk of a 30 hour training section, but still we fell in love with the characters before we played it, "Ah Lightning, you protagonist antihero type, going against Shinra your evil maniacal company", "And you crazy Afro-man with the chocobo in your hair, we love you already!". Then release. And we realise we have been given a game with ridiculous amounts of cutscenes and FMVs, a linear path and Transformers summons.

And XIII is now thrown on the binary marmite system pile of "teh SuXXorZ", because it simply was not an "Epic Win" and so therefore it must be its antithesis.

But I'm here to say it wasn't great, but it certainly didn't suck, yes the story was long-winded and a little bit bollocks (though no more so than the other ones) and the whole linear story thing was annoying. though you did get a bit of a sandpit of free reign for the meta-game where you run around doing the last missions and chocobo digging, and this is where you spent most of the game leveling up your dudes to max and getting those achievements. The summons were pointless weak, and really jarred with the FFXIII world. But the battle system was good, the game was really pretty, the mechanics of the meta-game were probably more fun than the game itself.

On a side note. remember FFX? It was widely loved with its LINEAR story, yeah that's right remember? FFX had no world map, or backtracking. You followed an almost linear road till metagame where you leveled your doods and killed a selection of enemies more powerful than the actual "final" boss character in the game. FFX was also riddled with Cutscenes, you couldn't go 5 meters down Mi'hen Highroad with out some pleb telling you about Yevon or how evil machines are, And of course Tidus preaching his "Wonder Years" type monologue at you. "I didnt know it then, but I would start my Chocobo anal love then and there.".

Yet these are the same complaints FFXIII got... Though i suppose you were kind of thrown in at the deep  end with the sphere grid leveling system.

So does FFXIII deserve to be in "teh SuXXorZ" pile for Training, odd summons and not having blitzball? Or if we are brutally honest, is it in "teh SuXXorZ" pile because it wasn't FFVII...

Love and an Analogy that is Analogous to itself (tee hee "anal"),

Richie X

Omastar Comics #33

He's back and more spirally than ever. In this edition of Omastar Comics. Well you'll see soon enough.

 

Honestly, these newer Pokemon don't even know they are born. Just wait until you've been reeled out for over 100 spin off games, merchandise and theme parks. Then you'll lose that racist attitude.

Nintendo Channel: Now Showing

Nintendo Channel: Poor Showing would be more apt. We log into the Wii's Nintendo channel every week and see what is on offer so you don't have to! This week's poor showing is:

• Something about Resident Evil Revelations. I'm sure it is great (well reviews don't say it is that great) but I'm a little bit underwhelmed by Capcom's marketing output. Ooooooh it has a chaptered structure. Great it has a cast that is beginning to rival Sonic in terms of blandness and breadth! If I wasn't a Resident Evil fan those two points aren't exactly selling the series to me yet this is the second or third Nintendo channel clip of Capcom staff talking about those two very very dull things.
• Another pointless Player Challenge video for Mario Kart 7. We whinged about them before. 
• There's a new weekly downloads trailer. I don't know about you but Balloon Kid, Double Bloob, Successfully Learning Mathematics Year 3 and The Very Hungry Caterpillar's ABCs are really setting my world on fire. 

So, a very poor show indeed. Am I the only one watching this channel? We've said many times in the past how the Nintendo Channel is a completely wasted opportunity. It is a direct tube from the company to the consumer and what does it say when the best they can offer is the above selection of videos?