Posts

GAME to close down some stores.

First can we say how sad it will be for all those who lose their jobs in the closure of 43 shops across the UK. Now that is out of the way can we now say good. Good riddance GAME. We tried to support you in the credit crunch crisis thingy but you didn't have the games we wanted a mere six days after launch . Also, I'm not entirely surprised at the closures either when your stores look and feel like a teenager's bedroom. We remember the days when GAME was merely an awesome mail order site and you'd order stuff from the back of a mag. We got Legacy of Kain, Resident Evil, Broken Helix and Tomb Raider from GAME before it became a shop*. Any and every title including the more obscure ones were available back then when gaming shops on the high street were basically for PC games and printers. To see it's horrid generic commercial horribleness now makes us sad :( *Just checked wikipedia. Our memories seem to be totally apocryphal. Maybe we meant Gameplay ? W/ever. OH M

Stop this sick filth

Image
Many of you may have taken a stroll around Amity square with one of your 'cute' pokemon friends. Can I ask that as of today everyone boycotts Amity Square as it is nothing more than RACISM AT IT'S WORST. Yesterday I attempted to take a Kabuto for a walk around the square only to be told that it wouldn't be allowed in because it wasn't 'cute' enough. Not only is cuteness subjective but the Nazis at Amity Square define cuteness as pink normal types (with a couple of exceptions). Quite how this barefaced racism is tolerated in Hearthrome City comes as no surprise- the religious rednecks there have even built a church opposite the entrance.

TGAM The Official Party Line on UBI-DRM-Gate

The last Ubisoft game we bought was Combat of Giants: Dinosaurs. Until this DRM thing came up I didn't even know people played games on their PC. PCs are for making graphs and writing reports on. Jeez already. AMENDMENT 1: So is like Rayman on PC then? AMENDMENT 2: What happened to Rayman?

Interview with the World's Most Powerful Editor of Krakatoa

Image
A bunch of people at the office were circulating the latest link for the latest masterpiece by Kotaku's Brian Crecente: Motion Control in Gaming: Rationalizing a New Dissonance . The usual jokes were flying around about how "Editor-In-Chief" means something different in America, and discussion arose as to when exactly Kotaku became (or desired to become) a science fiction pastiche of the real games industry. Deeply moved by the latest travesty from Kotaku Towers, I decided to get in touch with the big C for some constructive criticism. Here's how it went: TGAM: Hey. Just read your post about motion control in gaming. Thought I'd drop you a line to let you know it is one of the worst pieces of HTML pretending to be writing on Kotaku (FYI this is akin to saying it is one of the worst pieces of writing on the internet). Next time leave it to Leigh Alexander or someone else who can write their way out of a paper bag. It couldn't be more high school even if it men

Heavy Rain- TV spots

Image
Yes citizens, the hype machine for Heavy Rain has sprung to life, opened up one evil eye and focussed it on the sky. Recently, Heavy Rain TV spots have been appearing in between televised shows about cooking and ice skating and all those Wii adverts that dominate the idiot box. We know, we know, you are dying to hear our verdict on them but first we interrupt this post for yet another look at 5/10 butterface leaning against the window in her pants. There's no way around it. She just isn't attractive. Well done feminism. You won! Anyway, back to these TV ads. I can't find any of the videos online (depressing in 2010) but basically, if you were a non gamer and you saw them you wouldn't realise that Heavy Rain supposedly represents gaming at it's best, gaming of the non running and shooting and inspiring high school killers kind, gaming for the thinking person. In fact I'd shoot the marketing team behind the spots because it makes the game look more like a video

Sonic and SEGA All-Stars Racing is it Mario Kart?

Image
I think like most people out there, the first thing they thought was "Could this be Mario Kart on a non-Nintendo system?". But then again most people would rather not get their hopes up as this just may be another shit SEGA franchise game. But we had a play through and as close as it may be to Mario Kart. It's not quite there. Dont get me wrong it's fun, but not in the same way, yes the mechanics are the same, yes pretty much every pick-up is a clone of the Mario Kart pick-ups, and the levels are actually quite cool, including the loop-de-loops of Sonic vintage. But its missing that special something, I have decided to call this "something" Nintendroin and amalgamation of Nintendo and Heroin . I have decided that Turtle shells, Chomp chains, Plumbers and Princesses are the visual equivalent of Heroin, they have hooked us when we were young, and simply looking at these images makes us all feel all warm and comfy. That aside though, what about this

Generation V pokemon revealed

Image
Zorua Zoroark Apparently a dark type, if it was 3 stage I'd like to think it could have been a starter. I'm fond of the idea that the starters could be something other than Fire, Grass and Water again. Dark, Fighting and Psychic seem the most viable. But I digress... It's been announced much in the same way as Lucario of Generation IV as he'll be in the TWELFTH movie!  Love and still waiting on HeartGold/SoulSilver, Richie X