Exclusive from the legendary RAM RAIDER! There has been a walkout at PC Zone magazine! A guy, a guy and some other guy and another guy have walked out leaving the Future Publishing magazine in potential jeopardy!

We asked our source in the heart of Future Publishing some questions surrounding the ordeal:

Us: So what is a "PC".
Our source: Umm it's like a machine for making books and graphs.
Us: Oh. Okay. So what was the magazine about?
Our secret source whose name shall never be revealed: It was about how to write good books and to make cool graphs and to print out labels for CDs and shit.
Us: Shit. And why the walkout at the magazine?
Our super spy inside the actual heart of the "enemy" in between the valves: I think someone accidentally printed out a graph on the wrong side of some glossy paper and someone called it the worst F*****g graph they ever saw.
Us: Damn man! So what is the future for the magazine?
Our source: Both readers of the magazine will be atten…

Heavy Rain the paper cut killer

There is hype abound fellow sailors. Hypery and balderdashery truth be told! It surrounds a game called Heavy Rain: The Metro killer. Many of you will have seen The Casting, a full motion video used to show the full body and facial motion capture techniques used to show the full range of emotions that most games still struggle to show. Emotions like "crying" and "angry crying" and "crying because you didn't put the bin out again".

Many of you may know that this game will be the next game from David "shagged a dead guy" Cage, the previous game was Fahrenheit and it involved a woman who shagged a dead guy. What The Casting and previous press releases fail to tell you about this new game is that there will not be any shagging of dead guys in this game. We phoned David Cage to ask him why this wasn't mentioned in any preview we saw and why would he make a game without necrophilia in it:

David: 02 5589, David Cage speaking.
TGAM: You bastard…

360 Miis

Over the weekend we had a hands on (this time) with the Xbox 360 Mii creator. Unlike Spore, the system is unbelievably flexible for avatar creation and this application is a great way to pretend you have a Wii without so much as spending a penny! We made this as our first avatar:

See how easy it is! Then we got creative and made this one:

Ha ha har! All our British Xbox friends are gonna laugh so hard when they see this on the 360 version of Home when it comes out (due out November 2009)! Unfortunately due to video games and television stunting our imagination we literally couldn't think of another avatar to make that wasn't already a videogame character. We tried to make mario but around the time we got to adding the tits the microsoft execs looked at us and shook their heads very slowly.

In summary then, this could be the tool to bring the Xbox 360 out of the stinky underground and to the masses. I'm not too sure how much we are allowed to say about another exciting dev…

Series of games that need to stop

With the recent """excitement""" around Megaman 9, thatguys would formally like to register a list of series that should just stop. In the alleged billion dollar game industry it is time to reallocate some of the money from employing people to 'make shit shiny' and 'copy what Halo did' to coming up with some new IP. That's right Nintendo, I'm looking at you!

Series that should have stopped a long time ago:

Megaman- Lets be fair, everyone since the first one has been the same. Come on Capcom.

Zelda- Ditto

Metroid- Yuh huh

Pokemon- Same

Halo- Lets just hope that three was the last remake of one.

Resident Evil- See above.

Tomb Raider- Should have left it after the first one.

C&C, Warcraft, Starcraft, Diablo- All four of these games haven't changed in over twenty seven years.

Every Mario game- If you have a SNES that still works there has been pretty much no reason to buy a new Nintendo console.

Fallout- Seriously. WTF.


9/11 Conspiracy Bush Obama Viagra Naked

Apologies for the brash and somewhat gratuitous Post title.

But we at Thatguys are very aware that our traffic has been increasing, as much as we would like to think there are actual people out there that think, "man these guys are informative ironic and funny". Deep down part of us knows that through pure persistence, much like a kid constantly screaming for attention from their mother, people are just coming back to us.

WTF people who are you? what do you do? do you like us? do you hate us? did you vote for bum in willy or willy in bum?

We wanna know... Tell us what you think... Take 2 seconds from your day, get off your high horse and leave a comment..

Love and hugs,

Richie X.

Breaking News!

In case you missed the TV-adverts, radio spots, advertorials, news features, interviews with Will Wright, selling out sponsorship on every gaming blog, magazine adverts and zeitgeist "Sporn" articles then you read it here first, Spore is out.

We have had an exclusive hands off playthrough with both the DS version and the lesser known PC version. You won't find another hands off exclusive like this anywhere else!

Spore Creatures for Nintendo DS.Many companies release fully fledged games for the proper consoles then release some half-arsed watered down version on the DS. All the publicity and the marketing for the proper versions means that many people buy the DS version on good faith only to find that it is a steaming pile of GBA shite. Spore Creatures for the DS is one of these games. Imagine, if you will, a watered down version of pokemon put through the Fossil League Dinosaur Tournament Championship filter and then whisked together lightly for twenty minutes with Drawn …

EDGE magazine still taking the piss!

Due to our important role as a barometer for games due for general release we get sent shit loads of stuff in the post. Games, consoles, merchandise, costumes and magazines. As a consequence we get sent a copy of EDGE magazine. It's not that we would buy it anyway but when you are on the crapper you need something to read that isn't Games TM.Not so long ago you may remember that popular digital culture magazine Electronic Dreams Games Enema (EDGE)published a rather piss poor article about Menu screens. At the time we came up with a list of other piss poor articles that lazy writers could put together but in a valiant show of defiance they went one better and this month's EDGE carries an extremely "interesting" article about booklets with games.

The little books you get with games. Honestly of all the topics ripe for an article about gaming. On top of that the editors seem to think it is a good idea to fill ever increasing chunks of the magazines with developer a…

Fan Service

Did you set up a website to discuss the hot topics in your lifestyle/hobby area of interactive gaming? Were you underwhelmed when nobody cared about what you had to say because the coverage on Kotaku was more even handed and up to date? If the answer to any of those questions is yes then fear not. You are a sad fanboy but by following our hot guide you'll have that template blog up and running again before you google your site url to see if anyone linked to you this week.

Step 1: Even if your site is really shit, get sponsored ads almost before you have any other content. This makes your content-lite website look professional and if you get any hits in the future you might generate an income! To add a further professional air get that advertising that highlights words throughout the blog. There's nothing less frustrating than boxes of text popping up every time the cursor accidentally floats over words like "here" or "price drop".

Step 2: After taking a step…

Tomb Raider Underworld: Orderist

Watch the below trailer and join me in disgust!

Yes readers, Lara Croft, shooting tigers in the face! Right in the face. We here at TGAM would like to call for an official ban of this game in all territories and furthermore this is call to arms to all the bloggers who usually complain about games being racist and sizeist and all that shit that doesn't really matter. This DOES matter assholes.

As you all know, all tiger subspecies are Appendix I listed on CITES and listed as critically endangered and endangered on the IUCN red list. Yet here we have the positive role-model Lady Croft shooting a number of them in the face, in slow motion no less.
We and presumably every other gamer, does not want to promote the shooting of any endangered creatures in the face there are already plenty of other things to shoot in the face without sending out a message that flies in the face of environmental conservation ; Nazis, the Japanese, Aliens, Daemons, Spanish Zombies and African Zombies have …

TGAM top 50 ultimate TGAM top games best list of best games of all time ever: Number 42

Hot on the heels of number 43 we have a new entry on the best list of best games of all times ever. The votes are in and have been counted and you have voted Tanks! from Wii Play as your 43rd bestest game of all time ever.

We are a big fan of Tanks! here which is why Tanks! has been voted as the 42nd greatest game of all time ever. Tanks! what a game. Yes. Tanks!. Did you know reader that Tanks8 from Wii Play is the first Wii game on this prestigious list? Well it is. Check it:

43: Ed Fedemeyer's Haunted Maze
44: Resident Evil "gay den"
45: Final Fantasy VIII
46: Resident Evil Genesis
47: Dino Crisis 3
48: Dead Rising
49: Resident Evil Confidential Report File 1
50: Biohazard 4D Executer
Coming next time: NUMBER 41

"That" gaming site

Oh I see...

That Gaming Site

Yet another TGAM RIP-off...

Should we be flattered?

Resident Evil 2: Remake

OMG!!! Rumours of a Resident evil 2 Remake!!!


As the top rated Resident Evil Blogsite out there, we found this all out by ourselves, it's not like we read it somewhere else



Lamest Pokemon according to 1up

Yeah ok, So their list is:

Unown - Cuz it is Gimmicky
Beautifly - Cuz its a copy of Butterfree
Luvdisc - Cuz it looks silly and has rubbish stats
Probopass - Cuz it looks really stupid.
Mr Mime - Cuz yeah he is the shittiest pokemon ever.

Now if we were angsty, under-sexed bloggers, we would dispute this claim saying things like, "Luvdisc can be EV trained to be IMBA". But that is not us, we are better than that.

In fact, despite this coming from 1up we whole-heartedly agree!

So we are going to gracefully tip our caps to 1up, and expand on the list a wee bit.

Top 5 Shit pokemon that are shit, but not quite as shit as the top 5 lamest pokemon that 1up posted:

5. CastForm:
Shitty weather dependent Pokemon that changes it form based on whatever weather effect is in play, meaning you waste your moveset on weather changing moves. And of course by the time you have actually changed the weather you are dead anyway.

4. Ditto:
Pfft, everyone has at least a lvl 70 one of these, not bec…

Riche MIA Blogartist

So yeah, it has been a while since I did a bit of blogeriferousness…

What have I been up to? Well mainly I have been achievement whoring on Soul Calibur IV which is going well apart from the Tower being a bitch to get through. But in a strange twist of events I went back to Guitar hero 2 and 3 on the Xbox 360, after pretty much getting sick of Rockband. I have done the “Endless setlist” twice now, once on hard and then a second time on expert, though I totally nabbed out on the second time, as the guys I was playing with were on a lower difficulty, and I had got it in my head that I would still get the expert achievement… I have flirted with singin, but I really can’t sing, I failed “Tom Sawyer” on EASY! Though my Glados interpretation was apparently spot on! Drums bug the shit out of me, I’m not willing to put in the hours of practice needed to get my leg working independently of my arms. And bass just makes be really jealous of whoever is playing the guitar part. Then couple that wi…

Go here and read this

What a prick

A weekend of two (4) games

Yes children! This weekend I actually played some games. Shock and awe is what you are no doubt feeling now. Not satisfied with persistently sitting on the sidelines poo pooing any game that someone else might be interested I decided to see if I still had it and played me some games*.

First up I played Turok for the Xbox 360. Totally bog standard shooter that borrows more than quite a lot from Gears of War from the token black guy who carries big guns to running around for six levels for the sake of some comms device. However, it had dinosaurs in it which means an instant 10/10. I totally busted it too! It took me a shocking 15 hours-ish but I enjoyed it nonetheless. All that crap about decent AI was still total bullshit too but it did have some nice boss battles. It is sad that the cheevos were so poorly thought through with the majority linked to multiplayer crap.
Then I busted up Dinotopia The Sunstone Odyysey. It took about 5 hours and 50 minutes of my life. The game started off …

The people who are actually excited about Mirror's Edge

In no particular order:

Electronic Arts.
People who didn't get the memo about free running "the fad" being over.
15-17 year old skateboarders.
EDGE magazine until it's rated [6] even after such a glowing preview article.
PS3 owners who don't yet realise it is multiplatform.

Review Based on Wikipedia Page
It had so much potential but despite promises is very linear and frustrating. The camera isn't quite FPS perspective which leads to some odd moments where arms are inexplicably long. Animations of legs and looking at the floor the whole time grates. 6/10

This Geekend


Future Publishing: NOW HIRING

Wanted: 'Ideas' person for EDGE magazine.
Job Description: To think of game-related shit for writers to fill three to fourty pages with.

Menu Screens. Menu screens. The latest issue of EDGE includes an article about menu screens. You know, the bit in games before the main game. Not only is the appreciation of menu screens long overdue but it is plagiarised from us, with our prestiguous best menu screen award of DEC 2007 and our love of alternative menu screens hinted at here in August 2006. Furthermore, it's boring. It's okay for the losers of the world's 715,214 most popular-as ranked by Technorati- blog to write about it. However, unlike TGAM I don't have to waste my life and £4.50 to access it. Just my life and a bit more of my life to write it. In order to help EDGE magazine staff out so that I, and maybe you, don't waste further pennies and minutes here are some more ideas (some of which may have already been used, I didn't check) to fill the mag wit…

Diablo players: Busting the myths

That's not what we're going to do here children. No sir. You see, the group: "gamers" can be divided up into neat little slices and everyone within a particular slice demonstrates exactly the same behaviours and acts in a similar way. Schools in America and "the man" will have you believe that we are all different. We're not. Most of us can be neatly pigeonholed and our every behaviour predicted from a mile away. "Diablo players" is the name of one such pigeonhole-slice as is "gays" and "the sikhs"*. So for example, if I said "All the people who like Diablo I, II or III are keeping gaming from becoming a progressive medium in the modern world", I would be: a) Correct and b) A total wanker.

All the people who like Diablo I, II or III are keeping gaming from becoming a progressive medium in the modern world.
It is true. Don't believe me? Check this utter piece of shite over at MTV Multiplayer. I read it and though…