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Showing posts with the label cunts

Women are all the same

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No matter how far you run or where you run to, they are all obsessed after one thing.

Stupid Fucking Employers

Well it is a sad day indeed. I have recently learned that SFC (Stupid Fucking Customers) is dead, gone, deceased. In all seriousness it looks like the SFC guys were busted [via truth of the peasant], a blogger's worst nightmare. However, it just goes to show the short sightedness of the slave driving employers we've all had. They could've seen it for the tongue in cheek reflections of the dull dreary and endless jobs that we've all had and given the guys the go ahead to mention the name of the store as a kind of underground marketing exercise. But no, they decided that someone who had worked there for five years, pulling all kinds of overtime and extra shifts was worth firing because of a blog they had that gets people who work in the games industry chuckling. Seriously, did anyone not go to the store because they read SFC? I think if everyone knew where the store was we all go there to buy games and have our fingers crossed that we would be worthy in the eyes of

Nintendo are lieheads.

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More Nintendo lies this month with this post over at the "Official" Smash Brothers Dojo. This site is so fake they can't even get the name of the game right. The real name is Super Smash Brothers Brawl. Anyway we brought you the scoop on the real SSBB characters and stages two months ago ( check it fool ). But! Whoever is behind the farcical Dojo site is fucking cruel. It's OK to goad the Fire Emblem geeks but picking on Sega fans is a crime against humanity. Don't build their hopes up. I can here the frantic bashing of keyboards already as they plan their Sonic Faninima's shot with SSBB to add to the steaming pile of Sonic Machinima that already exists. Be advised Dojo webmaster, I'm emailing Google to get you taken off the listings. You've taken this joke too far now. Whilst we are on the subject of shitty fan made crap, this following public notice is brought to you courtesy of our latest "if you can't beat em join em" ti

*Sigh*

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The internets! You dissapoint me. Following our request here I was expecting a torrent of videos this morning. But alas: I DON'T SEE IT THERE DO YOU? I had high hopes for the GMV/AMV (Game Music Video/Anime Music Video) Community. I was thinking that you all made derivative Naruto videos with a Linkin Park/Evanesence soundtrack only because no one was making good suggestions for you to use some creativity. This is your chance! A video of this design would bring you your internet five minutes (people online have a shorter attention span) of fame. You might have even got a five star video as rated by real people, not the fellow animu weabos from the forums. You might have made the front page of Kotaku. Do you want to be remixing your shitty video for the rest of your life in the name of fan service? We threw you a bone and this is how you repay us? Well, AMV community, we'll see to it that none of you work on the internet again. Fuckers. You've got one week before w

Keeping the Torch Burning!

Ha! Look at these two it's all going tits up for them. I blame it on the war we had which now means we won . So now we are two for two. However, as the good ship H.M.S SFC starts to sink with Phorenzik jumping ship leaving MarioMark to desperately plug the holes in the hull with spare copies of Resistance Fall of Man we would like to steal some of their traffic and re-iterate one of the most poignant sentiments so beautifully put into words. TALK TALK YOU ARE CUNTS And Google never forgets ! Ha! Live on SFC, live on! Special Message to the guy who's job it is to google Talk Talk daily: Hi mate. We don't want to cause any big trouble we just want the traffic so please don't hack our accounts to shut us down. Just send us an email and we'll take this post off. Okay?

Next Gen Please

I'm sure I did a post like this before but couldn't find it in the tons of shit we put on the internet in our humble year and a bit at TGAM Towers (TGAM Small Bedsit would be more appropriate, one of those ones with a totally illegal kitchen cum bedroom-lounge, with no official arrangment with the landlord other than you gave them four grand when you first moved in and since then they have managed to avoid fixing the bathroom like they said they would when the 12 year old crack head in a suit that was your "estate agent" showed you round). Anyway we've been part of the 'next generation' of consoles for quite a while and they are totally fucking dissapointing, the short sightedness of developers and marketing people is absolutely fucking astonishing. Why won't someone, anyone do anything about it? Well I found this secret memo on the internet and I think it tells us all a tale or two: Three Years Ago THINGS FOR NEXT GEN by games making people. 1) Be

LOLCATS

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Fuck off cats more like. Here is the definitive LOLCAT and I don't want to hear anymore about it. CLICK FOR THE TRUTH

The war that nearly was

So recently we were involved in a bit of a spat with those kooky fellas over at Stupid Fucking Customers and then we were graced with the presence of both of the two angry men from Two Angry Men and then some minors and anonymooses popped over to say things like "Cunts" and other such pillow talk. However, it didn`t really end up as a fullly blown blog war for the following numbered listed reasons: 1) That bint at HR made a cock up with the annual leave arrangments so both Richie and I were on holiday at the same time. ROOKIE ERROR. Never abandon your post just after leaving childish comments on other two male 20 something oh-I´m-so-witty-in-my-own-head white text on black background blogs. The only time in history we´ve had more than one reader (including authors) and there was no one around to call other men gays. HR bint has subsequently been fired and she can think about her mistake as she packs little Johnny off to school with clothes four sizes too small this term.

Burnout Revenge

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You have probably all seen this by now, the thing about the burnout ads. By probably I mean I know because I have spoken to Richie and the other reader of the blog and you've both seen it. Also, the blackhole of all gaming news kotaku has also had a post about it so all the stupid people have seen it too. Basially 37 people complained about the posters for the new burnout claiming that it might inspire people to vandalise or crash cars or somesuch. My initial reaction is to flinch into a rage because it's something negative about gaming and I'm a gamer and it makes an easy post to write and everyone else is writing about it. However, I've had a think about it and the thing that really irks me is the 37 London commuters who think that they are some kind of moral guardians for society. What kind of person, whilst waiting for their no doubt late or packed tube train, glances up from their London Lite and sees the ad and thinks "Jesus Christ! No. Not again. Don'

Nobody does a Daily Mail like the Daily Mail

If you haven't heard or read it by now the Daily Mail has gone bonkers over the Launch Party for God of War II. Here it is . Using my skills obtained through my GCSE History I will now highlight how this article is mostly gibberish and how the Daily Mail needs to stop feeding Daily Mail readers with this shit and turning them into those women who get angry when they don't have the correct change for the bus and then they start shouting at the bus driver as if it's their fault when in fact it's probably a bit of mid-life crisis mixed in with Post Natal Depression. Well, if you will have children at 45........ It starts "Electronics giant Sony has sparked a major row over animal cruelty and the ethics of the computer industry by using a freshly slaughtered goat to promote a violent video game." Has it? Does this major row appear anywhere other than in the Daily Mail? No. Perhaps it would have been better if the goat was a freshly slaughtered, then frozen by

Sony in AIDS remission?

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No, of course not. That's impossible but check this screenshot. Big Whoopdies I hear you cry but look at the big version. You see them? At the bottom there. AMMONITES. They could have been dinosaurs, granted, but ammonites are halfway there. This is from some game called LittleBigPlanet yada yada but it's all about the prehistoric organisms. Sony you have managed to fuck up a bit less. For those of you who don't believe me, or think they might be snails here is a zoom in using TGAM patented technology:

Chuff_72 Speaks: THE BIG ONE

Richie and I have been dealing with a big court case at the moment because of this post so we haven't been able to blog about Fifa 07 or the latest fake WoW :( . However, you may remember that Chuff_72 was doing an important mission , as a maniac, but on behalf of all gamerkind (That's you readers). Have you tried to buy a game in real life recently? I'm not talking about the brand newest games I'm talking about old games that have been out for a fortnight or something? Impossible! Mr.Game only sells 5 types of EA game so where do we go to buy the underated classics like Tomb Raider 3 or Resident Evil Code Veronica X? We go to the Indie stores, at least in theory we do. I would argue that if game developers want to sell their games they should make sure their games stay in fucking stores for longer than a week. Chuff_72 went to scope out the game shops in Europe's capital city, London. London must sell some ace games right? Right? Here are his findings in one big