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Showing posts with the label Capcom

Capcom DRM: Where is the apology?

Numerous sites ran with the news today that Capcom forgot to inform players that in order to play Final Fight: Double Impact, players had to be online all the time. They apologised for not telling players about the DRM . However, at the time of writing Capcom have still not apologised for the existence of the Game itself yet. TGAM Editor in Heels, Richie Richards had the following to say: "The world really didn't need either of these games the first time around. This reboot is totally redundant. It would be like releasing Megaman 10 for fuck's sake." TGAM Pilot First Rank, Doppelganger chimed in with: "Great. More middle of the road games. I can barely tolerate to think of the days I used to get excited about games anymore. I hope someone somewhere is genuinely excited to see these games again" This blog, once upon a time a single Capcom IP fan site of sorts, is sad to see Capcom joins the long list of those failing to apologise for their decidel

Resident Evil Darkside Chronicles

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Exciting unboxing complete we've now played through a lot of Darkside Chronicles, some of the normal Capcom secret modes silliness aside. The review that summed it up best was probably the EDGE review. This is RE2 & Code Veronica the best bits. All the bits you remember with all the inventory management, backtracking and key finding edited out. Some reviews bitched about how Capcom had taken a hatchet to the storyline but the bits they cut out and edited gave a bit more elbow room to new elements that weren't there before and a bit more exposition. The new "bit" set between Code Veronica and Resident Evil 4 feels less last minute made up than the Umbrella's End Mission from Umbrella Chronicles and has some nice South American twists of RE B.O.W classics, the Anubis and the new Ivy being particularly stand out. Obviously, for us this game is some much needed Resident Evil massage oil for the relevant bits of our brains that crave it but if you aren't

Animal Crossing Racism-Round 2

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Not happy just to have baabara running around dropping the n-bomb Nintendo have turned their racist little eyes onto the Scots. Yes starting from last night and up until the 1st of February, you too could download the "I hate the Scots" hat for Animal Crossing Wii. Complete with ginger hair and tartan Tam o shanter. You too can recreate Glasgow on a Saturday night by dressing like a stereotype heckling K.K.Slider and then vomiting into the river before dying of hypothermia and obesity. Nintendo have yet to confirm the car bomb furniture set for St Patrick's day.

Pop Quiz: Umbrella Chronicles Edition.

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You are inappropriately dressed and have been shot and fallen down a fuck off huge long ass metal shaft, probably bumped down the sides a bit and landed on a cold hard metal floor and then had to carry around a Rocket Launcher to throw to your "boyfriend". Racked with pain, alive against all the odds and probably going to die. What would you do next? a) Phone an ambulance ASAP. My bones are broken. The pain, the pain how am I not dead. b) Just lay there and hope to bleed out sooner rather than later. c) As above with crying. d) Put some bandages on my horribly broken limbs and then limp slightly. CHOOSE YOUR ANSWER NOW The correct answer was d) just put some bandages on and get on with it and SPOILERS kill a whole bunch of hunters, dogs, zombies, lickers and a weird stone Tyrant thing. If you answered a), b) or c) then you aren't cut out for the worst spy ever industry I am afraid. Try your luck at retail management or maybe custo

Needed: Fanfiction

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Well the Hunk competition is over. After two years we've had no entries. This can be taken as proof that you can't trust the Machinima community. Fuck you Machinima community. Fuck you. How will the fanfiction guys fare? We're running another competition (wow now we're just like the official Mega Man site !). As you may well now, Wesker is to appear as a rip off DLC pish in Lost Planet 2. What we want to know is how did he get there? Feel free to dick around with the "Resident Evil Canon" as Capcom so frequently do but do make sure your fic. contains the following elements: 1) Barry Burton's daughters Polly and Moira. 2) Tits McGee from Dead Rising. 3) Dante slicing a whole train in half. 4) A non racist justification for Sheva's totally racist costume in RE5. 5) Jill and Rebecca talking about who they fancy in S.T.A.R.S. 6) Cheryl Jones' supplementary mission in it's entirety. 7) A recurring joke about how Mega Man is into Moir

GOTY 2009

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Oooh ooh you have to shoot civilians! Boo hoo! It's all a bit morally challenging. SHUT UP. SHUT UP MW2 PRICKS. Nobody gives a shit anymore because we talking bout MUTHAFUCKING TOFU: You can shove your DLC, your customisable characters, your Valve Pish, your Fallout 3 stories. It's over. End of day. Shut up shop. Time at the bar. This is it people. Nobody does games with Tofu in them like Capcom. Review of Darkside Chronicles based on the single above screenshot : Game of the year. Game of the year. End of. Game of the century even! It's got Tofu in it. What more do you want? Tofu. Can I say anymore? No. But I will and that it muthafucking Tofu up in this muthafucking, muthafucka.

Breaking News

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Internet fiend and Leaderboard legend the Hockster just gave us the tip-off about the new Resident Evil 4 HD version. We're pretty sure this is breaking so you'll see it in a TTECNK on lesser sites soon. Here is the original: Here is Resident Evil 4 HD. You can see that Capcom, fingers burnt from Resident Evil 5, have played it safe and set the whole thing in Asia land. Can't racist yourself! Except you are being racist if you just racist yourself and not everyone. Try again Capcom.

Restoring the Capcom to the blog.

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Some sad Capcom fanboys are looking for suggestions for the next Capcom vs XXXX title. In order to restore some Capcomness to this blog here are our top 5 suggestions: 1) Capcom vs the pool of baby lotion 2) The real Capcom vs the Capcom characters from fan fictions . 3) Capcom vs the giant purple cheese with a vagina in RE2 4) Capcom vs Blazing Squad 5) Capcom vs Kayne West LOLOLOLOLOLOL Also, here's a hint to all the asswipes leaving comments on the Capcom Unity blog, if you make a suggestion and have to put (funny) after it it probably isn't funny (bitterness). Image of Tree Spirit Sakuya from Okami confirming that she does indeed have a Buttless dress from this dirty perve clacier over at Deviant Art.

The perfect circle II: Dead Rising Chop Til You Drop: Review (of the disc)

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Can you believe it? Today I bought Dead Rising Chop Til You Drop for the Nintendo Wii. The reviews so far on the web say it's pretty bad. I won't know until tomorrow (I will not play it tonight EVEN THOUGH I HAVE IT because tonight is Bingo night). In the meantime I'm taking a look at the hard copy product. When the electricity runs out and we can't play games anymore these are the things we will have to show our children the wonder of games. We've already seen the box and the book (complete with notes sections) now we see the disc! As you can probably cannot see it is a far better disc than the Xbox 360 version. Donald didn't mention that! Dropped the ball there dipshit. It is very understated but classy. Certainly not in my top ten but it would look nice in the planned folder of Wii games I am thinking about putting together (this will be in between Animal Crossing and Endless Ocean, both of which are nice discs. Animal Crossing especially with the pa

Dead Rising Chop Til You Drop: Review (of the book)

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Yes! As you may know today is the day Dead Rising Chop Til You Drop came out for the Nintendo Wii. AND I GOT IT .Last time we looked at the box. It was generally good. Now we look at the book which was in the box. This photo is pretty bad. I was so excited I was shaking. You can see they used the art from the box which is pretty standard practice actually. The book is informative but it is in black and white. You probably can't tell but this is the notes section of the book. We were worried that there would not be a notes section even though we never ever write in the notes section because it devalues the game and everyone can see you cheated. We have a designated note book for all our gaming notes. Up next: Dead Rising Chop Til You Drop: Review (of the disc).

Dead Rising Chop Til You Drop: Review (of the box)

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I'm literally just this minute back from buying Dead Rising: Chop Til You Drop for the Nintendo Wii. It was exhilirating readers firstly because it is the first game I have ever bought on launch day (probably. It won't be the first game I played on launch day because that was Halo 2. Also, I probably won't play it today because I want to drag out the excitement/potential dissapointment for a little bit longer) and secondly because I bought it in a GAME shop. This is a horrible experience. I can understand why people fear gamers so much. I was in the queue with a hundred people. All of which had caps or lip piercings. Most of them were buying Killzone 2 or trading in clearly stolen Xbox 360s. They looked down their nose at me but I felt sorry for them because a) They own a PS3 and b) They secretely wished they had a platform which could play Dead Rising on it. I knew it. Also, why are GAME shops so hot? I was sweating like a bastard. But this may be because 1) I was buying

.Hack

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From Daemon Hatfield's review of Dead Rising chop Til You Drop over at mediocre at best 'IGN'. "the story is…well, it's one of the worst stories I've ever encountered in videogames" Really Dougy? Worse than Final Fantasy VII or VIII? Or Halo? Or Gears of War? Or Katamari Pisacy? Or any MMORPG? Or puzzle game? Or most games? Not true. Most of these conflicts occur against human "psychopaths" who can somehow withstand hundreds of bullets, which is many, many more than any zombie you encounter. Plus Frank never needs to go to the toilet and like days are really short nowehere near 24 hours long. The story ends up trying to be a social commentary on our American lifestyle Are the zombies fat? They are stupid but are they stupid enough?. Do the zombies know their geography? Are they homophobic and racist? Do they all end up going to the prom and being prom queen? Are they whiney and loud. Are the female zombies easy? [that's enough

Resident Evil Degeneration

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Resident Evil:Degeneration is out in the Europe on the 12th of January.All of you should buy it and show your support for Leon and Claire. Word on the grapevine is that if they sell enough copies of this film they'll do a Resident Evil 2: Wii edition so buy it now! We saw the trailer ages ago and it looked okay. To be honest we'll be upset if it doesn't have: 1) Will Smith cast as the face of Marvin Branagh. 2) Zombie and/or Claire tits. 3) Herbs. 4) The line "That guy's a maniac, why'd he bite me?" 5) The exact same plot as Resident Evil 2. In fact don't spend money making a whole new film just record someone playing Resident Evil 2 and stick it on DVD that would be best. 6) A cameo from Dante. 7) A reference to Okami, Viewtiful Joe or at least We love golf. 8) An explanation of those other Resident Evil films like it was all just a dream or something. 9) The nemesis fighting 104 Hunters. 10) A bonus feature with Hunk dancing to &#

Joined up thinking

Kotaku has the scoop, but the news that Left 4 Dead will have the cheevo "Zombie Genocidest" whereby you have to wipeout 53,595 zombies (one more zombie than Dead Rising's Zombie Genocide achievement) makes us smile. Well done Valve, have a cookie. Let's just hope Capcom don't sue.

Exciting E3 news!

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Bored of Summer shitty games? Want something more than news about more crappy rock updates for Rock Band/Guitar Hero? E3 is here to deliver. Every year E3 has a theme. This year the theme is "innovation" and the line up of games on show really underpins that. New Resident Evil 5 trailer!- Like Resident Evil 4 but shinier with vehicle sections. Final Fantasy XIII - Like Final Fantasy X but shinier with more androgenous characters/airships and the same summons etc. from every other game. Vehicle sections yet to be confirmed. Gear of War 2 - Like Gears of War but with vehicles. Dante confirmed for Soul Calibre IV!- Like Soul Calibur III but with Dante. Metal Gear Flaccid 4 special edition - With extra cutscenes and the option to turn "jam" on/off because it's wacky you see! It's random and wacky! Kojiiiima is a random whacko! Woo! Woo! I am a train. Rockband 2 Band Manager peripheral - Introduce yet another key aspect of being in a real band! Mo

A special holiday message from Jill Valentine

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To all those people who have just woken up from an 8, 20, 32 or 44 month coma. Here's Jill Valentine wishing you merry christmas! Thanks the internet! Thanks Jill! Next on TGAM! Happy VJ day and welcome to the 21st Century for those who have had comas for a very long time.

TGAM top 50 ultimate TGAM top games best list of best games of all time ever: Number 44

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Yes it's Resident Evil Gaiden for the GameBoy Color. Color should have a "u" in it. We've never played it, even though it's ten pounds from amazon. We probably won't either because the GBA is no doubt some kind of corroded battery affair by now. We're also opposed to it because it is called "Gaiden". Which sounds a lot like gay den. Resident evil gay den: After the events of resident evil 1 & 2 Barry and Leon are hanging out at their secret tree house base. After Claire goes to Europe to find her brother, the boys discover through a friendly game of spin the bottle that Leon and Barry may be more than just friends. Play as Barry or Leo in in this exciting adventure for the GameBoy color. Choose the right time to come out to Rebecca. Berate Barry for always going on about Chris as if he is in love with him or something jesus Barry if you love him so much why don't you go to Europe to find him. Tell Leon cunning lies about Ada Wong

TGAM top 50 ultimate TGAM top games best list of best games of all time ever: Number 46

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Well we've had zombies, zombies, zombies and zombie dinosaurs in our hotly anticipated TGAM top 50 ultimate TGAM top games best list of best games of all time ever. What could possibly beat 50-47? Well something has to otherwise the list is pretty flawed no? Chortle! Well today children in at number 46. We're going to get complaints that this one is so low I know it in my heart! Yes, yes it's only fucking RESIDENT EVIL GENESIS for the mobile phone! Not the first, not the last retelling of Resident Evil 1 but surely the most 46th on the list! Yes indeed. I hear what you are saying. Is this really better than Dead Rising? Well check the list because Dead Rising is lower than this so DUR SPAZMOID of course it's better! Does Dead Rising have Barry Burton in it? No? I didn't think so. Wow what an exciting week. Readers have been voting and commenting in the half dozens at least. What does next week's list bring? I'll give you a hint. " NOT METROID OR

TGAM top 50 ultimate TGAM top games best list of best games of all time ever: Number 47

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So far, so good. Three great games on the list, I'm sure you'll agree (aside from two of them not really being games). So what is better than Dead Rising you might ask? Well it's only frickin Dino Crisis 3! Although much hated by most gamers, we don't share that opinion because we have never played it. The last time I checked it still wasn't backward compatible with the Xbox 360 which is a testament to how much it is hated considering that titles like Catwoman, Dinotopia and Bass Pro Shops Trophy Hunter 2007 have been emulator enabled. However, it remains one of the greatest games of all time because from reading the instruction book, looking at the back of the box, examining the screenshots and watching videos it has genetically altered dinosaurs in space. Which is kind of like dinosaur zombies in space which in turn means that it is practically Resident Evil in space which is where Albert Wesker lives. What a great game! The list so far: 48: Dead Rising 49: Resid

TGAM top 50 ultimate TGAM top games best list of best games of all time ever: Number 48

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Time for number 48! Excited? I know I am really excited. Here's a clue to the game via an excellent screenshot from Eurogamer. Yes it's Dead Rising (referred to as Dead Rizzling in TGAM circles thanks to a stupid customer). Why so low? Nobody asks. Well it's a compormise, I love Dead Rising but Richie has no time for it. So it's here. The first proper game on the list. Dead Rising has everything: zombies, shopping malls, hot fat lesbo cops, ban in Germany, Jills Sandwiches, everyday violence, cults, guns, storyline, hideous save system, unreadable text, the Dante, Jill and Ryu zombies, cars, viruses and tits mcgee (never forget tits Mcgee). The usual capcom trappings of being a bit confusing on the first playthrough and the aforementioned save system only work to make it better in our eyes. Perhaps the greatest achievement is that the game works properly. So if you feel so inclined you can sit on the roof for the whole game until the chopper arrives*. It still remains t