Posts

New Game Crush

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Forget floppy-titted snipers , drunken Northern lassies or monster-uddered purple-haired psycopaths  there's a new girl in town that everyone is talking about. Of course, I'm talking about 2015's Resident Evil Revelations 2 's Gina Foley. Isn't she lovely. Isn't she wonderful? Unfortunately, Gina, who MAY OR MAY NOT be pig-faced, wetsuit-busting Rachel Foley's sister/cousin , SPOILERS FOR A  FOUR YEAR OLD GAME dies in the first minutes of Resident Evil Revelations 2 but that doesn't mean she can't be our game crush! Apparently Gina was a well respected member of definitely-not-another-secret-bioterrorism-front-group Terra Save working in human resources. Who knows, she may have interviewed Claire Redfield?! Or at least emailed her reminders about the procedures for calling in sick. Even though she's dead she kicks some serious ass in Raid Mode. No mean feat in heels and a work skirt. We'll always love you Gina*! Even with a bl

Acid Rounds: Ghost Master (PC)

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Acid rounds is a semi regular, irregular spot on TGAM for games we have beasted from start to finish. Cunzy1 1: So your game this week is Ghost Master another game I have never heard of. I assume it's an espionage military shooter who is a dominatrix at the weekend? Richie: Oh Man, dude, this was a Randy_McSporran classic, I'm surprised you don't remember, maybe it was all that weed you were smoking at the time... And no this ain't no Call of Tom Clancy: Gear Solid Cell generic shooty game. No sir. Ghost Master rips of an entirely different genre. Ghost Master is, upon first look, a rip off of the sims, and has its place in a genre that has somewhat lost it's way to microtransactions nowadays, the "God" game. But you don't do building or character creation. Instead the locations are premade populated characters with different quirks floating about in them, but the twist is you have to unlock and use ghosts to drive insane/scare off

Status Check: Are Mobile Games Any Good Yet?

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Tl;dr, No. Every so often a new flavour of mobile game comes along and you download it. Now your reasons for downloading it could be many: It has characters/personalities/endorsements from TV/Movies/Games and you like them. Giant anime titties or inferred nudity Some other brainwashed cunt tells you "It's different, this one is good"* It has been sold to you as the mobile version of [x] game which you used to play on [insert nostalgic actual gaming platform] *This is because he/she spent money on it, and the poor fucker is spreading their misery: isolate them, identify them as the problem, and destroy them.  There is a secret option here, which is it's own backward-ass problem You bought a console port - Well done you! Now go play it for 15 mins, get nostalgic, and promptly realise that it is not fun to play with touch screen controls and your big ol' thumbs are in the way, covering the UI.  I am a victim of this too, I can name a load of m

Flame Rounds: Sega Dreamcast

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Due to the runaway success of Acid rounds we would like to kick of our sister series of semi regular, irregular posts. Flame rounds lets us fulfil our yearning passion to be Frank Skinner, taking on his role as Judge, Jury, and Executioner in Room 101. We will be presenting a case for a particular Trope/Character/Item/UI element that pisses us off and then trying to justify whether this thing should go into room 101 (get flame rounded?) Cunzy1 1 : So the honour of the inaugural Flame Rounds goes to you. What part of gaming do you want to see errr flame rounded? Richie : Kicking it all off Imma drop a big old bombshell on this one, Sega Dreamcast. I want the Sega Dreamcast to go in to Room 101, stop folks banging on about it. The Dreamcast was just not all that great, in fact the more I think about it the more shit it was, the spectrum of exclusive games was minimal, and there was like 3, if that. The controller was not very friendly, and that concept of the Tamagotchi memory

What is Apex Legends?

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We're old. We're decrepit geriatrics. You can tell because we use Twitter to find out things. And this Monday we were somewhat blindsided by a game called Ajax Heroes a battle royale shooter from a studio probably full of people who wear long sleeve shirts underneath their t-shirts who made one of those other online shooters, no not the one with the purple lesbian, another one. Firefall? Rain Legion? Over Damned? A stealth release is quite an impressive thing in this day and age but aside from the same veiny eyed forum cranks muttering about gossip and rumour previously, first thing Monday morning there was barely a peep about this game and then at half eight GREENWICH MEANTIME this nonsense: A stream of blue tick 'influencers' making generic non committal statements about a game which at that point was all of 20 minutes old. Which, I don't know, is a modern master class in how to do it. Stealth release, get the old mags and the influencers to &

SSX Tricky: Some things are best left in the past BIG!

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Cast your mind back nearly two decades, to the heady days of 2001. Harry Potter... Lord of the Rings... Big Brother... Sopranos... 24... Friends... Buffy/Angel... 9/11.  In smoke filled hazy rooms akin to that seen/heard in the Streets Irony of it all, barely-twenty-somethings were, uncompetitively competing with each other all over the UK. Seeing how long they could last at 5 stars wanted rating in a tank on Vice City, or in this case who could get the highest score on SSX Tricky, Garibaldi, Showoff.  This was no ordinary competition, this was classic arcade leaderboard shit. We would sit about for hours on end passing the controller between us. Each run would last (to completion) around 5 minutes, but as we became more advanced and driven for the "perfect run". The rules changed. We were peaking around the 2 million mark. And restarts abounded. Restarts were generally reduced to 3 and could only occur before a certain point, you had to nail your first large

Acid Rounds: Manticore Galaxy on Fire (Switch)

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Acid rounds is a semi regular, irregular spot on TGAM for games we have beasted from start to finish. Richie: Oooh a spaceship, flying game that is a change of pace for you , what made you snap this one up? Cunzy11: Since Colony Wars and Rogue Squadron series ended back in the 1890s, it feels like there's been a drought of proper space 'em ups. Sure there's been variants on the theme like spreadsheet manager EVE Online , top down ships FTL , almost ships flight fighting in the new Battlefront but no real proper space games ( Elite Dangerous , No Man's Sky, Kerbal Space Program ?). I'd been lucky enough to catch the single tweet from Gamescom announcing that  Everspace was coming to the Switch, got too excited and decided to pick up Manticore: Galaxy on Fire in the meantime. Richie: What sets this one apart from all the other sci-fi shootery games that swell the marketplace? Cunzy11: That it was out at the time. Seriously. It's extremely playable