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Project X Zone 2

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Oh Man I so loved Project X zone ! And now there is a second one: Cunzy still considers this a non-game. But like most things, he is wrong...Yes on the outside is it seems a but "Button-bashy" but there is a delicate art to choosing the correct action from the three choices you have, then also mixing in 2 different assists. but this is only half the game. The other half is pure unadulterated Visual Novel - But a Visual novel of some of the most iconic game characters All having Banter with each other! BANTEEEEER. The Shenmue dude asking Megman how to do a fire ball, Leon chatting with Dante and Vergil about how "Devil's never cry", Phoenix Wright shouting Objection when Demitri (Vampire) is in sunlight. Pure BANTER. Ok I know I said half the game was this and the other half of the game was that... but there is alse another bit in the game... you can spend ages levelling up, setting skills and equipment for your doods! I am barely 40 hours into the game,

Resident Evil 20 years...

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Resident evil is 20 years old. People love this fucking stuff, "Oh my god this movie came out X years ago, doesn't it make you feel, like , so old" Well yes, and it more pertinent for us as we define ourselves with Resident fucking Evil! Anyways.... I have Played Resident evil SO MANY TIMES when it first came out I was speedrunning that bad boy to get the infinite Rocket Launcher. I have owned so many versions of the game, remakes, directors cuts, imports, whatever... I dont even want to think about the time/money I have spent on Capcoms franchise... Any way I bought it AGAIN, this time on my Vita! A great wee 20th anniversary bundle of all 3 original games... Lovely. I rattle up Resident evil 1 watch the opening video,, smile as I reminisce about using real actors in FMV sequences, go though the starting dialogue, hear that annoying grandfather clock ticking away in the dining room, DO a quick turnaround at the terrible white face zombie... blah blah. I get to

I've got a confession to make.

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I like my Vita. Millions don't, hell even Sony Don't. But I have has a shit-ton of fun with it. It's hard to justify Investment in a system that wont be supported, but there is a lot of greatness on that system (if you like 100 hour long RPGS). Straight off the bat you have: Tales of Hearts Hyperdimension Neptunia  and its may sequels and spin-offs Akiba sTrip But Most importantly I am revisiting FFX-2 HD Remake, yeah that's right, not FFX, but FFX-2. Yeah that's right the one with the dresspheres! For the FFX remake, all Squeenix did was pretty it up a bit. But for FFX-2 they added new Dresspheres! They added a whole new Monster Arena thing, which I have spent far to many hours thoroughly enjoying. The whole thing is wrapped up in a touch of catharsisism for me the first time I played through FFX-2 I fucking loved it, I mean it's hella girly, however,,, I never hot 100% to unlock the final dressphere (Mascot), I fucking missed it by

THE ANIMALS WATCH EACH OTHER GO THE TOILET

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Animal Crossing: Happy Home Designer for Nintendo 3DS The red squirrel is dying. Nothing can be done. It's cancer. Cancer. A woman loves a horse. But only because he lives in a castle. Not because of the size of his cock. A hippo studies cephalopods in space. He's close to a breakthrough. Sometimes an otter watches me when I sleep in other people's beds. He never says anything At the school, the animals watch each other go the toilet. They don't find it very interesting. Animal Crossing: Happy Home Designer . GAME OF THE YEAR 2015.

Nintendo have invaded my F2P market...

Almost all of us play mobile games, as a time-waster (or avoiding eye contact) waiting on or in public transport. I tend to have a few on the go at one time, I recently "Finished" the Family guy: quest for stuff game, which is wholeheartedly one of the most shallow city-building/farm building games out there. I have not spent a penny on that, it wouldn't even be satisfying to spend a penny on that either. Another gem I have been plugging away at for the past few months is Evoker  which is an oddity you set 5 cards which have different attributes and abilities. You level up cards, through solo play which uses and energy mechanic, or PvP which uses a second energy mechanic. Essentially you can only play for roughly 3-4 mins before you are locked out for about 2 hours (more at higher levels). But that was fun collecting the "team" you wanted to face off your opponent with... etc. BUT Its suffers as a Pay2win title, if you spend money on it you, and I suppose this

Dragon Age: Inquisition a TGAM Review

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Well... Dragon Age. What an immensely huge, I mean really massive game. And honestly I'm 70 hours into it and I think I have barely scratched the surface! It a fantastic way to lose several hundred hours of your life. The sweetness of this come from pretty much just giving the player what they want... a novel approach. The game merges the greatest things from western RPGs: Such as Skyrim, WoW and of course the previous 2 Dragon age games (with plenty of fan service to those who have played them). The exploration alone in this game is just fantastic, akin to Skyrim with little hidden quests for those who are willing to take that little extra time to look for them. The difference with this dragon age is the multiple sandbox areas, which are brilliant and feel unique This is what reminded me of WoW*, with all of its varied zones and questing through them with the odd dungeon to enter really hit that home. And there is all the wonderful other bioware greatness in there. You h

Family Guy: Well fuck it it was cheap on Steam

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So based the greatness of South Park: Stick of Truth I took a punt on the Family Guy Game and fucking frankly I'm glad it was only a couple of quid. It is the curse of the steam sale, you see something that you wouldn't normally buy and you buy it because it's super cheap. Which incidentally is the steam sale ethos, it's £1.99 that they were not actually going to see. But anyways: fuck it have a list. Played through it, it's painfully easy up until the last boss, where it is just cheap. The plot is not even in tone with the show. The audio is simply lifted from the show. The game looks pretty shitty, the 3D does not work! Its a straight up generic 3rd person shooter. Like super generic. I mean why do they have guns? Like proper guns! Not even themes, just guns, shotguns etc. Anyway it only lasts few hours, fuck it. Try not to buy it, it's really not good. Love and Richie X *I'm not writing one, I feel dirty enough after playing that ga

Every Day We're Pokemon Shuffling

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Like everyone else we were reaching for the pitchforks when Pokemon Shuffle was launched, a title published by Nintendo with explicitly freemium bullshit unlike the freemieish Steel Diver: Sub Wars which started life slightly less free to play and then got updated to be slightly more free to play and of course the Pokemon Trading Card Game Online which is a card game so for whatever reason the gaming press give it a pass or don't bother covering it. As lifelong Pokemon players I'd also like to throw in the "physically drag yourself to a GAME store to download a legendary Pokemon" for the Pokemon main series into the same category but only because those experiences have been so harrowing in the past it feels like a cost that transcends money. Our trajectory with this game went like this:   Please won't you buy some jewels to errr shuffle me? Please? Boo. Hiss. Ninty sellouts! It's... okay but I'd like to buy it. I doubt I'll stick with

South Park: Stick of Truth

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So again we are reviewing a game that came out ages ago. But man... we just completed this bad boy and its fantastic. First up is the animation! It's flawless the whole thing plays like watching an episode, all the story events include your character right in there wearing what ever clothes you have given them, outside of that the player moves in familiar areas and it feels exactly like South Park. Extreme Kudos on that. Gameplay is sweet, the RPG mechanic they put in there is so much fun to play the character attacks are fun, if a bit repetitive, to watch. You level up you gain access to new and funny attacks, you can even ply with perks and customise your character further. The plot, The game is plot driven and it's so fucking funny, there is so many nods to references throughout the entire 20ish years South Park has been running. It's got the same laugh out loud, shock, cringe, factor as the show, brilliantly done. There are some familiar references and a couple

Get Your Smashies on

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So we finally fucking did it. We got ourselves a "Next-Gen" console. The Wii U. Wait what do you mean it's not a next-gen console? It's actually less powerful than the Xbox 360, never mind the Xbox one? Well whatever, SMASH BROS BITCHES!!! Oh here have some fucking screenshots: There's me Dual fucking wielding, as you should be able to do in any real sequel.  Dual wield goggle bitch pikachu.  Cunzy and I chilling out on Mario Galaxy world. Cunzy and Togepi about to fuck up shit. Yeah take that, fucking lvl 50 amiibo Peach!  Cunzy checks out Wii fit girls butt... Alone time required. Yeah So Smash Bros, makes a WiiU worth it. Love and Sticky Bombs, Richie X

Season's Greetings

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Due to austerity measures, we're only allowed to post one article a year. Here is this years. Merry Xmas 2015 everybody. Cunzy1 1 & Richie too.

A game from 10 years ago.

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So I fucking bought San Andreas... Again. (Currently owned: PS2, Steam, Windows Phone, now 360) It was really just on a whim, £2.99 on XBox Live seemed well worth a punt. I had a dick-about with the iOS/Windows Phone version and as cool as it is to have San Andreas in your "pocket" the controls are just wank. Nobody likes a fake dual analogue stick game. But the 360 version is worth it. Its prettier than 10 years ago, it now has achievements, it actually stands the test of time! Downside is after playing the iOS version I am very aware that this is the port of the iOS version and now a newly reconditioned version, there are obvious giveaways with the controls. And it crashed a couple of times. Love and Hot Coffee, Richie

I Love Rodland

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A beautiful bit of "16-bit" work. The whole thing is just the epitome of the crazy Japanese pixel are you come to expect from the mid 90's You don't see shit like this nowadays, no siree, Its all fucking hyper real sci-fi men with brown hair. Where's the fantasy where is the off-the-wall utter madness you used to see in games. Even the fucking F2P Monstrosities with cartoon graphics still settle into the old D&D tropes. Love and Fuck you, I'm old, I get it, Richie X

Over 200 Games Journalists Write an Open Letter To Gamers. Stop the Hate

#GamerGate continues to tear the gaming community apart. Brothers and sisters fight. But there's a shining light. Writing letters to end the hate, harassment and nastiness that haunts our hobby. Theoretical game developers and community managers wrote their letter  and gamers have their petition  but as a community, video game journalists have not yet spoken out as a group. Until next week that is. An anonymous source who wants to remain anonymous sent us this letter which will be going out next week.  Dear Gamers (R.I.P) Please stop the hate. The only thing we have is the power of our opinion on games and gaming related things and if you don't like that then we don't get paid. Well a lot of us don't get properly paid in the first place. In fact being a games journalist sucks. We should really do something to improve our plight. Anyways. If games journalists stop writing are we not just gamers? Please stop the hate. Signed 7 of 9 Albert Brooks Andre

Cant Beat them...

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Here! You know Kotaku right, in between all their "journalism" they do crap about Japanese Culture. Like stuff about food shaped like an obscure animal from the most talked about cult dating sim from that week. Or when they talk about their favorite Anime from this season and genuinely discuss the quality of the "boing" noise that the overly endowed female character's boobs make when they bounce/jiggle/squish. Well here is our favorite bit of Japanese culture: Babymetal! They are hitting western shores now. I'm too old now for Dubstep and following Radio 1. But this I can get behind. Be warned Babymetal, TGAM may just go Full Stalker on this one. Love and KAWAIIIIIIIIIII, Richie X

Alcamoth Citizen Says: The topic of the hour/day/week

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With the gaming community tearing itself asunder, the developers, gamers and gamers who get paid to write about games turning on each other like cornered animals (online of course, nothing is happening in real life) this conflict between brother and sister is spilling over into game worlds too. Our in-game correspondent,Alcamoth Citizen reporting from Xenoblade Chronicles has this to say about the burning issue: 'Why isn't anyone excited about Jigglypuff being potentially leaked for Super Smash Brothers?'. So there we have it. If only other game journalists took this news quite as seriously.

Won't Someone Spare A Thought For The #GamerGate 'Journalists'

This last couple of weeks there's been a storm in a teacup that seems to have culminated in the gaming community doing a sea cucumber and eviscerating itself, turning itself inside out and ejecting all it's internal organs as a defense mechanism. You can follow the 'story' on the social media under the hashtag GamerGate. We won't go into the specifics of how this kicked off because the spark that lit the part of the fire we're interested in is sort of irrelevant. The short version is that some pretty strong evidence has come to light reminding us once again of the rampant cronyism and amateurism within games journalism. The funny thing is that what may or may not have happened to kick this off is almost completely by the by. In between the feminists, the white knights, the trolls, the griefers, the journalists and the developers all rallying to four or five different calls and fighting with each other, some are using the #GamerGate  to call for clearer transpar

Valkyria Chronicles errr Review?

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Recently I was gifted a PlayStation 3 and a fairly comprehensive catalogue of games which is great for two reasons. Firstly, free games! Secondly by being gifted one it allows me to maintain that the PlayStation 3 never reached a critical mass of games for my tastes that warranted a purchase of the (still) overpriced console. One of the games that was on the shortlist that never reached critical mass was Valkyria Chronicles.  Released in 2008 to generally positive reviews, Valkyria Chronicles is a mix of all the best bits from Advance Wars , Battalion Wars and quirky PlayStation 2 game Ring of Red . It's a 3D turn based strategy game which is a lot of fun with a beautiful art style. Playing games slightly time shifted from the climate in which they were released is interesting. Although I can see the appeal of VC when it came out, having played and loved Fire Emblem: Awakening last year, VC is probably lower in my estimations as there are some great mechanics which shou

Omastar Comics #38

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This week, Omastar gets his tentacles in a twist about that OTHER Omastar, in particular the lucrative merchandise deals and TV spots.  Fucking religion.

Dead or Alive: you are bathing with me

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You know what,  I dislike the Dead or Alive Series: Way back in the heady days of 2010 back when we cared about the Chilean Miners and Wikileaks . I wrote a blogpost about a game I played back in the heady days of 2006 when we make crass Steve Irwin jokes and the danish drew some cartoons. And frankly I have not played a Dead or Alive game since then, the combat is clunky, random and just plain frustrating! UNTIL NOW!! They have bath and bedtime DLC!!! A fighting game in PJs and Towels. I'd pay money for that. Love and Remember when phones didn't have touchscreen? Richie X