That guy's a Maniac...

So we finally fucking did it. We got ourselves a "Next-Gen" console. The Wii U. Wait what do you mean it's not a next-gen console? It's actually less powerful than the Xbox 360, never mind the Xbox one? Well whatever, SMASH BROS BITCHES!!! Oh here have some fucking screenshots: There's me Dual fucking wielding, as you should be able to do in any real sequel.  Dual wield goggle bitch pikachu.  Cunzy and I chilling out on Mario Galaxy world. Cunzy and Togepi about to fuck up shit. Yeah take that, fucking lvl 50 amiibo Peach!  Cunzy checks out Wii fit girls butt... Alone time required. Yeah So Smash Bros, makes a WiiU worth it. Love and Sticky Bombs, Richie X

Due to austerity measures, we're only allowed to post one article a year. Here is this years. Merry Xmas 2015 everybody. Cunzy1 1 & Richie too.

So I fucking bought San Andreas... Again. (Currently owned: PS2, Steam, Windows Phone, now 360) It was really just on a whim, £2.99 on XBox Live seemed well worth a punt. I had a dick-about with the iOS/Windows Phone version and as cool as it is to have San Andreas in your "pocket" the controls are just wank. Nobody likes a fake dual analogue stick game. But the 360 version is worth it. Its prettier than 10 years ago, it now has achievements, it actually stands the test of time! Downside is after playing the iOS version I am very aware that this is the port of the iOS version and now a newly reconditioned version, there are obvious giveaways with the controls. And it crashed a couple of times. Love and Hot Coffee, Richie

A beautiful bit of "16-bit" work. The whole thing is just the epitome of the crazy Japanese pixel are you come to expect from the mid 90's You don't see shit like this nowadays, no siree, Its all fucking hyper real sci-fi men with brown hair. Where's the fantasy where is the off-the-wall utter madness you used to see in games. Even the fucking F2P Monstrosities with cartoon graphics still settle into the old D&D tropes. Love and Fuck you, I'm old, I get it, Richie X

#GamerGate continues to tear the gaming community apart. Brothers and sisters fight. But there's a shining light. Writing letters to end the hate, harassment and nastiness that haunts our hobby. Theoretical game developers and community managers wrote their letter  and gamers have their petition  but as a community, video game journalists have not yet spoken out as a group. Until next week that is. An anonymous source who wants to remain anonymous sent us this letter which will be going out next week.  Dear Gamers (R.I.P) Please stop the hate. The only thing we have is the power of our opinion on games and gaming related things and if you don't like that then we don't get paid. Well a lot of us don't get properly paid in the first place. In fact being a games journalist sucks. We should really do something to improve our plight. Anyways. If games journalists stop writing are we not just gamers? Please stop the hate. Signed 7 of 9 Albert Brooks Andre

Here! You know Kotaku right, in between all their "journalism" they do crap about Japanese Culture. Like stuff about food shaped like an obscure animal from the most talked about cult dating sim from that week. Or when they talk about their favorite Anime from this season and genuinely discuss the quality of the "boing" noise that the overly endowed female character's boobs make when they bounce/jiggle/squish. Well here is our favorite bit of Japanese culture: Babymetal! They are hitting western shores now. I'm too old now for Dubstep and following Radio 1. But this I can get behind. Be warned Babymetal, TGAM may just go Full Stalker on this one. Love and KAWAIIIIIIIIIII, Richie X

With the gaming community tearing itself asunder, the developers, gamers and gamers who get paid to write about games turning on each other like cornered animals (online of course, nothing is happening in real life) this conflict between brother and sister is spilling over into game worlds too. Our in-game correspondent,Alcamoth Citizen reporting from Xenoblade Chronicles has this to say about the burning issue: 'Why isn't anyone excited about Jigglypuff being potentially leaked for Super Smash Brothers?'. So there we have it. If only other game journalists took this news quite as seriously.

This last couple of weeks there's been a storm in a teacup that seems to have culminated in the gaming community doing a sea cucumber and eviscerating itself, turning itself inside out and ejecting all it's internal organs as a defense mechanism. You can follow the 'story' on the social media under the hashtag GamerGate. We won't go into the specifics of how this kicked off because the spark that lit the part of the fire we're interested in is sort of irrelevant. The short version is that some pretty strong evidence has come to light reminding us once again of the rampant cronyism and amateurism within games journalism. The funny thing is that what may or may not have happened to kick this off is almost completely by the by. In between the feminists, the white knights, the trolls, the griefers, the journalists and the developers all rallying to four or five different calls and fighting with each other, some are using the #GamerGate  to call for clearer transpar

Recently I was gifted a PlayStation 3 and a fairly comprehensive catalogue of games which is great for two reasons. Firstly, free games! Secondly by being gifted one it allows me to maintain that the PlayStation 3 never reached a critical mass of games for my tastes that warranted a purchase of the (still) overpriced console. One of the games that was on the shortlist that never reached critical mass was Valkyria Chronicles.  Released in 2008 to generally positive reviews, Valkyria Chronicles is a mix of all the best bits from Advance Wars , Battalion Wars and quirky PlayStation 2 game Ring of Red . It's a 3D turn based strategy game which is a lot of fun with a beautiful art style. Playing games slightly time shifted from the climate in which they were released is interesting. Although I can see the appeal of VC when it came out, having played and loved Fire Emblem: Awakening last year, VC is probably lower in my estimations as there are some great mechanics which shou

This week, Omastar gets his tentacles in a twist about that OTHER Omastar, in particular the lucrative merchandise deals and TV spots.  Fucking religion.

You know what,  I dislike the Dead or Alive Series: Way back in the heady days of 2010 back when we cared about the Chilean Miners and Wikileaks . I wrote a blogpost about a game I played back in the heady days of 2006 when we make crass Steve Irwin jokes and the danish drew some cartoons. And frankly I have not played a Dead or Alive game since then, the combat is clunky, random and just plain frustrating! UNTIL NOW!! They have bath and bedtime DLC!!! A fighting game in PJs and Towels. I'd pay money for that. Love and Remember when phones didn't have touchscreen? Richie X

On this day, July 24th 1998 The S.T.A.R.S. team first investigated the mansion... You gotta fucking love that opening. Real people... Not mo-capped. Got i miss those heady days of the PS1. Sniffle. Love and dont open THAT door, Richie X

Earlier this year, life-sim lite, Tomodachi Life came out for the Nintendo 3DS. Unfortunately 90% of the coverage from the red top gaming sites exclusively focused on Nintendo's controversial decision to exclude same-sex relationships in the game. In itself that decision rightly deserves highlighting but as ever, the proper journalism parodying gaming press reported nothing but this, resulting in a lot of coverage that failed to explain what a ' Tomodachi Life ' was in the first place. I don't know if Nintendo were happier to receive any coverage at all or unhappier that it was all negative. Interesting, especially given how the press fall over themselves to create content every time a GTA or Saint's Row comes out, with only a handful of the more thoughtful hacks sparing a sentence or two for the inherent misogyny, sexism and racism that those games portray (hastily followed by hand waivey 'but it's alright cos it's GTA isn't it?'). Anyway, tur

The above video shows all that is glorious about Project X Zone. Firstly you have Xenosagas KOS-MOS and T-ELOS (the scantily clad curvaceous androids) teaming up with Tekken's suicidal Pink-haired android Alisa which already is a crazy mind-blowing cross universe groin explosion. Just skip to 40 seconds in. Love and Jiggles, Richie X

Sorry reader, the 3DS onslaught continues. Whist this gen struggles to find its feet and to distinguish itself enough from last generation, Nintendo's little handheld is just hitting it out of the park and Richie and I are both exclusively playing 3DS games (well excluding a dabble with Diablo 3 and Hearthstone ). I picked up LEGO City Undercover: The Chase Begins ( LCU:TCB ) , the correct position of the colons in the title completely elude me. I'm a pretty big LEGO fan (I guess you could say I was an AFOL ) and both Richie and I have picked up most of Traveller's Tales LEGO games over the years, enjoying the gentle but colourfully fun action and the official license tie-ins. By all accounts LCU:TCB is inferior to the Wii-U original but it's fun enough nonetheless. Think, a sand box city with a smidgen of a 'story mode' but by far the thrust and fun of the game comes from finding, collecting, riding, unlocking and buying a cornucopia of widgets, MacGuf

Right, fine I'm caving. After all this drama, outrage, scandal and out of court settlements. I'm just going to give you guys what you want. And that is apparently another half hardhearted incite into yet another 3DS game. Eat it up chumps. Right so. Tales of the Abyss, a wonderful little gem, a PS2 cult-classic remake for the 3DS.  I jumped on this title as I was a huge fan of Tales of Vesperia on the 360. Its an expansive story driven RPG, and a fantastic port at that too! However! That is a double edged sword... Its a port it's really not meant to be a pick up and play title I was enjoying it on the commute until the story progressed to... Dungeon number 1, which left me with little to no save points. I mean that is fine for a PS2 title, sitting there 15 years ago in front of a TV, but the game pushes you to go through a dungeon. Which means you either just have to close the DS and hope that the batteries don't run out, or time how far you get into the dungeon

Warning! more 3DS content below! Whilst Cunzy1_1 witters away his hours on the non-game, Tomodachi Life, forever hoping that the next patch update will allow same-sex marriage. I took a punt on Project X Zone! It's on sale in the Nintendo shop right now! And honestly it's fantastic. The only reason I had not purchased it by now was the Demo. The Demo was shit. It showcased some of the art styles, bit did not introduce the player to the concept of the game. I got the impression it was a shallow but pretty button mashy title. Totally not! The game is mental! It has a really loose story about why Characters from so may different IPs are there, something about tears in reality, but you just dont care, it's fun as it is to just have Streetfighter characters in a RPG setting but when they are interacting with the likes of Virtua Fighter and Tekken characters, It's just so fun! The game has a pseudo-strategy element, it does not punish you badly for mis