That guy's a Maniac...

Cause he called our* girlfriend fat innit. *Yeah we share one.

We're fans here of the one man project which despite being an overwhelmingly fan pleasing endeavour and entirely violence oriented manages to put most modern games and the whole of Hollywood to shame including blockbuster movies featuring transforming robots with million dollar budgets and fight scenes which are made by putting a kettle, two forks and a sieve into a washing machine, setting it on spin and filming it. This one guy, with less time, staff, money, technology and cocaine does better. By a million. I would happily pay full price for Dead Fantasy I-V on DVD than Resident Evil Shitgeneration, those awful other Resident Evil Films and Advent Children put together. And who needs a storyline? Buy a fucking book if you want stories. Pricks. Anyway Dead Fantasy IV, V and VI are kinda up on the net. But we're not going to post a link here until Monty Oum himself uploads the full versions any day now....

Aw isn't that cute... They made it look like a real console, adorable. Yeah it's some bundle with Monster Hunter Tri (3) so dont expect the EU to get it, ever. Luv and shiny wired controllers, Richie XXX

We aren't fans of recycling shit from the internet but sometimes it's worth it. By *sigh* RoflCopter 761 via Halolz

Hot on the heels of E3, there are a couple of Heavy Rain trailers up on the PS3 network. I've seen em both. One of them is your typical trailer packed with mysterious sound bites, action sequences and a quite impressive looking dance floor. The other is a demonstration of how the game will play. Now, we were fans of Fahrenheit for the first hour until Monster Syndrome kicked in. Then we weren't fans. Then we were fans for the dead man sexing bit. Then we weren't fans again. Heavy Rain does look good but the demonstration showing a rather plaid looking woman going into the bogs to sex herself up a bit did leave us feeling. Well. A bit cold. The idea of the demo is that she has to sex herself up a bit to, I dunno, sex a dead man or something. So she enters the toilets and then looks into the mirror. At this point a bunch of arrows pop up around her hair, face, tits and cooch and the player has to help her get slutified through a bunch of analog stick movements.

Hidden beneath literally millimetres of wit, satire and irony, the joke in this latest installment of the paint created, pixellated, irregularly posted, fully clickable, popular webcomic Omastar Comics will be missed by all but the sharpest of readers. This week Omastar is minding his own fucking business thank you very much. In other gaming news: We turned 3 years old a while back. The party was awesome thanks for all those who came along. Guitar Hero 5! looks like Guitar Hero. Dread Kong in the upcoming New Play Control! Donkey Kong Jungle Beat has been officially confirmed as racist. Expect N'Gai Kroal to be on the case ASAP.

So yeah Project: Natal? We all know and realise it is a glorified Wiimote (but better). But it must have some use in that moral grey area dividing sex and games, here are a couple of suggestions. 1. Interactive Web chat. Webcams all over the world are currently being used to allow wannabe pornstars work from home, and using the conduit of the internet project themseves naked into the bedrooms of curious teenagers who stole their parents credit card. So why not apply this to Natal, allowing gamer chicks to make some cash to fund their habbit. Hell I can see in the near future a website of gamer chicks avatars showing who is online and you just buy their gamertag. So where does Natal play into this? Well from those of you that saw the Natal preview you'll have seen that there were two burds discussing what outfit to wear and projecting it on them. Cue the frenchmaid, dominatrix and Jill Valentine outfits... But how will this funtion from the fappers point of view? Well ideally you

Bulbabpedia have now updated their site with the new Rotom Formes. So how long till the crazy Japanese actually create one of these... Luv n Hugz Richie XX

Yeah so the new game is pretty fucking cool. Essentially it is a 3rd person Hack n’ Slash, however there is a multitude of things that set this one aside from the regular crowd of movie tie-in trash games: 1. It is not a move tie-in. Yes it may have a few things in common with the movie, such as the likeness of many of the characters, but the plot seems to be its own entity. (This was because the game was in development before the movie was in production, good call from the guys at Raven) 2. The fighting is a new level of fun. We have all got a hack and slash game that we all love in our hearts, whether it is Devil May Cry or Kingdom hearts. Thankfully this game differs from the usual repetitive Hack and Slash action of other movie tie-ins or trash games, there is a great mix of skill and luck. Basically the action is not repetitive, the combos and the timing of the button pushes are really intuitive, allowing for different types of gameplay, e.g you can choose to counter or j

So, Milo, where's you Mommy Milo? She's dead Milo. Died of the bad AIDS. You gonna cry? Oh you can't because you haven't been scripted to. Here's a picture of a wang Milo. Do you like it? Here's a picture of a swastika Milo. Do you like that? We're going to play a game now Milo. But you can't tell anyone about it.... Achievement Unlocked: Do a "Peter Molyneux".

Hideo "hasn't made a decent game for quite a while and won't be continuing Metal Gear series" has been updating the Kojima productions site with all kinds of bullshit. Scenic imagery, counters that countdown to more counters and other crap that has Kotaku and nobody else even remotely excited. Until this morning that is. At 4am this morning GMT the above image went up on the site. What does it mean?

As you may know we are fans of the children game Pokemon. A new remake is out ensuring yet more millions of daktarin for Nintendo. This time around though Pokemon Platinum adds nothing new to the game series and the new edition is very very stingy with the introduction of a very generous no new pokemon. Yes, that's a fat zero. It appears that 'forms' are the new thing to get adults to part with money to please their children. So it's the same pokemon except they have slightly different sprite set. And Pokemon Platinum isn't short on delivering remakes of existing pokemon inside a whole game which is essentially a remake. Giratina and Shaymin now have two different forms (seriously does anyone even care about this. We don't and we're a semi-interested party). But Rotom get's a whopping six new forms to not care about! Originally pokemon used to be about mirroring the organisms we find in nature (as well as representing legends, myths, umm art forms and

Shit. Did it again .

Following in the footsteps of non-game series Guitar Hero, now on it's 16th iteration, and Rock Band (are we on 4? 5? nobody cares), the upcoming DJ Hero is also keen to milk the shit out of mainstream non gamers with these three peripherals so you can play with your mates: DJ Hero Dex - Estimated Retail Price $140 pounds. This killer dex will show how truly easy the job of a DJ is. Just put on a compilation CD and watch the game play itself. In the meantime you can feel up some jailbait who is on an AK trip. DJ Hero Manbag - Estimated Retail price 54 euros. Show off to all your friends how much of a super underground artisan you are with this mass produced man/record bag available at any shitty independent music shop that still sells vinyl. Customise it with up to four slots for anti war and graffiti inspired badges. DJ Hero Beanie - Estimated Retail price £30. Look like a youth knob at and away from the console! Has three slots for official DJ Hero 'ironic goth message badges

Semi-retired Ram Raider have come back out of retirement again again to bring us this news about a game called Darkfall . The essence of the issue, for those too lazy to hit the link is that Eurogamer staffer Ed Zitron was unfairly treated by the company behind Darkfall Online, Aventurine. Including the not deleting of personal details put up on a forum. Or something. This is unfair treatment and an issue that we are happy to bring more attention to, through the time honoured review of Darkfall Online Boxart. Cunzy1 1: What? No boxart? Richie: No due to the cutbacks we can't afford to google images anymore so we'll have to review the game title itself. Cunzy1 1: Another world first from TGAM. Second greatest etc. etc. Richie: Hmmm. Darkfall. Doesn't that game exist? Cunzy1 1: No you are thinking of Darkwatch. Richie: No. I was thinking of the Darkness. Cunzy1 1: Isn't that a band? Also, I was thinking of Dark Stalkers. Richie: Racist. Cunzy1 1: Not racist. But by findin

Fuck it! I remained patient, I thought it may be a fun thing to track the progress or out little virtual thatguys. But I cant be fucked with it any more! Constant error pages Thatguys brute... R.I.P. Cheers to all of you that supported us. Richie

Oh FFS another 3 losses today, probably the worst Brute out there! New Pupil... DAVEMELLIS Lets get some comments on the go, we'd like to know who you guys are... Until next time, Richie X

Another fucked day for our brute, she lost 3 matches... She's currently struggling her way though level 3. We do have some new recruits: Wilfmadbloke and pisspants Fingers crossed they have better luck than our brute/punching-bag Laters, Richie X

Well... the thatguys brute is off to a slow start. and seems to be getting used as a pixelated punching bag. She has almost made it to level 3 and through very little merit, she has only won one match so far. On the upside though we got a couple of new brutes: RandyMcSporran and brt0nfnk Well so far so... Pish. Laters, Richie X

So in our random fumblings in the vast soiled panties that is the internet, we stumbled across "My Brute" where you create a little fighting character where random features and stats are created by the name you enter. Anyways this is a shameless shout-out to all the readers/haters/random-perverts-looking-for-Sheeva-nude to follow the link below and help the thatguys brute level up, follow the link below to become our pupil, and well... beat us up. http://thatguys.mybrute.com/ Luv n HugZ Richie XXX

Because copying and pasting articles from the magazine and news from Kotaku can get really really tiring quite quickly.

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to download a wallpaper. FREE. That is right totally free. This is just one of the gifts from the team here at TGAM to our readers who have stuck with us for nearly three whole years. How to get your free TGAM Wallpaper. See the image below? Just click on it. You will be taken to another window with a big version of the image so you may wish to write these instructions down on a piece of paper so you can follow them when you are in another window. You then need to right click on the image (Use the B button if you are on a Mac) and click on save as desktop. Or is it use as desktop? Something about a desktop. Then, MAGIC! YOU NOW HAVE THE EXCLUSIVE WALLPAPER. You can also save it as a JPEG and use it on other computers. Or on your Wii even. The image was created* by one Tatsuo Kayagumi, lead dolly on Resident Evil 2 (GC version). For blind readers it is a picture showing the legendary Omastar, star of Omastar Comics , as a giant peering over a mou

Hardly... This game was originally sold to me as "Crack for gamers" And it really fucking is, it is hard to explain but, it seems to have just the right about of skill and luck to enjoy continuously playing it. Throw in different modes, Multiplayer, Xbox live multiplayer and boom all you could want in a time-wastey game. Luv n Hugs, Richie.

At the moment the only active member of TGAM is in Africa on fieldwork, proving once and for all if RE5 is racist or not. Normal service will resume shortly. In the meantime......YOU FUCKING PERVERTS!

I skip town for a few days and all hell breaks loose. Reports of abuse, AXE MENTALISTS and the credit change crisis. Not to mention the weeds. GOD the weeds. This seals it. I'm boycotting Nooks until all this blows over* Economic crisis and or credit crunch hits virtual world. Would be the headline I would get the BBC intern to write using this screenshot. I'd put climate change in there too. An AXE MENTALIST came to town too. This is not how you talk to AXE MENTALISTS. Nor this. Expect lives to be lost. *Well maybe next week. I have turnips I need to sell this week.

Surprisingly, we've managed to find a little Easter egg from Capcom in their latest survival horror game Resident Evil 5. That is right sports fans, you can unlock a nude(ish) Sheva. Here's how, accompanied by some artists reconstructions because we'll be damned if we can take screenshots. Them shits is too professional. Here's how to do it. You need to beat the game first. We beat it in co-op so it doesn't seem to make a difference if you do it solo. Then start the game again when you get back to chapter 3-1, (the boat level) you'll need to pick up the Beast and Warrior slates (this is what we did, we don't know if you need to pick up these slates but it's best to be sure). If you then check your map you should see a tiny island to the west of the long tentacle looking thing (the stream) on the South West of the map. Head here. On this island there is a small hut (previously not much to do with it). If you approach it an "Ente

Shit! What if I am and I don't know it yet?

Hotlinking to some news that's been all over my boink today. For those of you who are lazier than we, the premise is to slap a tax on violent video games to ugh cut knife crime, Britain's second favourite national sport. We don't think the tax is a good idea because a) People who stab other people don't buy games, they steal them at knifepoint duh and b) People who play games don't stab people*. They stay at home and play games. I'm all for reducing knife crime but I think there is a better way to be going about it, like nuking Britain from space until knife crime goes down or mass sterilisation of people who wear caps. However, I am in favour of slapping taxes on Theme Hospital to improve the NHS and we should tax the fuck out of Train Simulator to keep trains running on time. Taxes on Katamari Damacy to cure cancer etc. etc. *Excluding FIFA, Halo, CoD, GoW, the other GoW and MySims.

For reasons not to be divulged here, I had a week off of work and for reasons too painful to recount here I spent most of it on the sofa playing games. Sad perhaps but a week I thoroughly enjoyed as I relived the glory days when I could really get my teeth into some games rather than snatching the odd hour or two or playing games and then dreaming of playing them for the rest of the week, the routine that modern life forces us into. I played the Wii exclusively, proving that you don't need marines in space or space marines on planets or future marines fighting nazis to have a good game session. Here's the synopsis for all none of you out there who are at all interested: Dead Rising chop til you drop (or shop til you drop as one googler who found this site typed in). I still can't decide whether this is a good game in its own rights, a yorke notes version of a good game or just a bad game. Having played through it all of four times now, I am still none the wiser. Per

So yeah! We at TGAM love the silent hill series. In our usual overbearing and graceless manner... here is a review Well I say review, It is more a haphazard collection of images. But look at it! It's so pretty it has a manual, an attractive green box, a reversible cover, on top of that the nurses have clear and evident cleavage. Now the game, there was a lot of criticism received about this being a more "westernised" version. given that it was not developed at the Konami studios in Japan coupled with the game following in many of the traditions of the movie. And it's true it does, Pyramid-head is there, for some reason. For those of you who don't know Pyramid head is suppose to be a personification of the torment James feels in silent hill 2. But since he is a cool looking bad-ass, he was brought into the movie, and as such also into this latest iteration of the series. Another hat-tip from the movie goes to Silent hill being populated

For the Wii.Thoughts in roughly chronological order: I love Agatha Christie. She was genius, I hope Nintendo release a 100 Agatha Christie books on the DS. That would be sweet. Oh shit man murder mystery. Who is gonna die first? Sailor Boys indeed. It's the Butler. Cheese? What do I do with cheese? I hope nobody notices I am stealing everything from this house. It's Vera. Vera is hot. Glad I didn't miss that. It's Emily. Blore sounds like 'Boner' It's Boner. Stupid Wiimote safe cracking. GODDAM STUPID WIIMOTE SAFE CRACKING. Oh, wrong code. Goddam AWE and your crashes. Everygame. And again. And again. I should save more. It's the Judge! WHY WON'T EARRING MIX WITH CHEESE? Goats. Goats like cheese? Goats like apples? Goats like honey? Goats like buckets? Goats like cocktail shakers? Goats like books about bird watching? What do goats like? GODDAM AWE GLITCHES SHOULD SAVE MORE OFTEN. Not a glitch actually. It's the Doctor. Goats like walking st

In theory it should be good. But it isn't. The articles have interesting titles and are on great parts of the gaming culture but after clicking through there is no real insight there or we felt we could write a better article. Yes, us . Rumours are abound that Stolen pixels will start to get funny soon. Unskippable is a great idea. A really good idea. Someone else should have had that idea. And done something with it. Unfortunately, not what the Escapist have done with it. They update regularly, occassionally before Kotaku but then navel gaze a tad too much (the Editor's letters etc.). Perhaps in a few years they'll have something to be so reflecting about but not yet. The crossword and zero punctuation are saving graces and I don't have time to do the crossword. I feel bad for the Escapist. I just can't place what exactly they are doing wrong. Until then I'll keep checking zero punctuation.

Exciting times again! This weekend I played through the first six eigths of Dead Rising Chop Til You Drop for the Nintendo Wii. Coverage of this title in the gaming sites was poor (in the end we had to stoop to look at IGN for the review). It may be that the release of some long awaited PS3 game meant that no one really properly reviewed this game. Which, is odd considering it is a wiimake of one of the best next gen titles yet. For all you who played the original and want to know what's what or for those having second thoughts about buying it on the Wii. Here's the low down: Something Old. Three years ago Dead Rising was released on the Xbox 360. And it was great. DRCTYD, is almost the same Willamette Mall and the game will be instantly recognisable to those who saw or played the 360 version. Frank, Tits, Brad, Otis and the rest of the gang are all present and correct. Some of the psychopaths are still here, all the cutscenes and most of the original shops. The aim of the game