That guy's a Maniac...

Hideo "hasn't made a decent game for quite a while and won't be continuing Metal Gear series" has been updating the Kojima productions site with all kinds of bullshit. Scenic imagery, counters that countdown to more counters and other crap that has Kotaku and nobody else even remotely excited. Until this morning that is. At 4am this morning GMT the above image went up on the site. What does it mean?

As you may know we are fans of the children game Pokemon. A new remake is out ensuring yet more millions of daktarin for Nintendo. This time around though Pokemon Platinum adds nothing new to the game series and the new edition is very very stingy with the introduction of a very generous no new pokemon. Yes, that's a fat zero. It appears that 'forms' are the new thing to get adults to part with money to please their children. So it's the same pokemon except they have slightly different sprite set. And Pokemon Platinum isn't short on delivering remakes of existing pokemon inside a whole game which is essentially a remake. Giratina and Shaymin now have two different forms (seriously does anyone even care about this. We don't and we're a semi-interested party). But Rotom get's a whopping six new forms to not care about! Originally pokemon used to be about mirroring the organisms we find in nature (as well as representing legends, myths, umm art forms and

Shit. Did it again .

Following in the footsteps of non-game series Guitar Hero, now on it's 16th iteration, and Rock Band (are we on 4? 5? nobody cares), the upcoming DJ Hero is also keen to milk the shit out of mainstream non gamers with these three peripherals so you can play with your mates: DJ Hero Dex - Estimated Retail Price $140 pounds. This killer dex will show how truly easy the job of a DJ is. Just put on a compilation CD and watch the game play itself. In the meantime you can feel up some jailbait who is on an AK trip. DJ Hero Manbag - Estimated Retail price 54 euros. Show off to all your friends how much of a super underground artisan you are with this mass produced man/record bag available at any shitty independent music shop that still sells vinyl. Customise it with up to four slots for anti war and graffiti inspired badges. DJ Hero Beanie - Estimated Retail price £30. Look like a youth knob at and away from the console! Has three slots for official DJ Hero 'ironic goth message badges

Semi-retired Ram Raider have come back out of retirement again again to bring us this news about a game called Darkfall . The essence of the issue, for those too lazy to hit the link is that Eurogamer staffer Ed Zitron was unfairly treated by the company behind Darkfall Online, Aventurine. Including the not deleting of personal details put up on a forum. Or something. This is unfair treatment and an issue that we are happy to bring more attention to, through the time honoured review of Darkfall Online Boxart. Cunzy1 1: What? No boxart? Richie: No due to the cutbacks we can't afford to google images anymore so we'll have to review the game title itself. Cunzy1 1: Another world first from TGAM. Second greatest etc. etc. Richie: Hmmm. Darkfall. Doesn't that game exist? Cunzy1 1: No you are thinking of Darkwatch. Richie: No. I was thinking of the Darkness. Cunzy1 1: Isn't that a band? Also, I was thinking of Dark Stalkers. Richie: Racist. Cunzy1 1: Not racist. But by findin

Fuck it! I remained patient, I thought it may be a fun thing to track the progress or out little virtual thatguys. But I cant be fucked with it any more! Constant error pages Thatguys brute... R.I.P. Cheers to all of you that supported us. Richie

Oh FFS another 3 losses today, probably the worst Brute out there! New Pupil... DAVEMELLIS Lets get some comments on the go, we'd like to know who you guys are... Until next time, Richie X

Another fucked day for our brute, she lost 3 matches... She's currently struggling her way though level 3. We do have some new recruits: Wilfmadbloke and pisspants Fingers crossed they have better luck than our brute/punching-bag Laters, Richie X

Well... the thatguys brute is off to a slow start. and seems to be getting used as a pixelated punching bag. She has almost made it to level 3 and through very little merit, she has only won one match so far. On the upside though we got a couple of new brutes: RandyMcSporran and brt0nfnk Well so far so... Pish. Laters, Richie X

So in our random fumblings in the vast soiled panties that is the internet, we stumbled across "My Brute" where you create a little fighting character where random features and stats are created by the name you enter. Anyways this is a shameless shout-out to all the readers/haters/random-perverts-looking-for-Sheeva-nude to follow the link below and help the thatguys brute level up, follow the link below to become our pupil, and well... beat us up. http://thatguys.mybrute.com/ Luv n HugZ Richie XXX

Because copying and pasting articles from the magazine and news from Kotaku can get really really tiring quite quickly.

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to download a wallpaper. FREE. That is right totally free. This is just one of the gifts from the team here at TGAM to our readers who have stuck with us for nearly three whole years. How to get your free TGAM Wallpaper. See the image below? Just click on it. You will be taken to another window with a big version of the image so you may wish to write these instructions down on a piece of paper so you can follow them when you are in another window. You then need to right click on the image (Use the B button if you are on a Mac) and click on save as desktop. Or is it use as desktop? Something about a desktop. Then, MAGIC! YOU NOW HAVE THE EXCLUSIVE WALLPAPER. You can also save it as a JPEG and use it on other computers. Or on your Wii even. The image was created* by one Tatsuo Kayagumi, lead dolly on Resident Evil 2 (GC version). For blind readers it is a picture showing the legendary Omastar, star of Omastar Comics , as a giant peering over a mou

Hardly... This game was originally sold to me as "Crack for gamers" And it really fucking is, it is hard to explain but, it seems to have just the right about of skill and luck to enjoy continuously playing it. Throw in different modes, Multiplayer, Xbox live multiplayer and boom all you could want in a time-wastey game. Luv n Hugs, Richie.

At the moment the only active member of TGAM is in Africa on fieldwork, proving once and for all if RE5 is racist or not. Normal service will resume shortly. In the meantime......YOU FUCKING PERVERTS!

I skip town for a few days and all hell breaks loose. Reports of abuse, AXE MENTALISTS and the credit change crisis. Not to mention the weeds. GOD the weeds. This seals it. I'm boycotting Nooks until all this blows over* Economic crisis and or credit crunch hits virtual world. Would be the headline I would get the BBC intern to write using this screenshot. I'd put climate change in there too. An AXE MENTALIST came to town too. This is not how you talk to AXE MENTALISTS. Nor this. Expect lives to be lost. *Well maybe next week. I have turnips I need to sell this week.

Surprisingly, we've managed to find a little Easter egg from Capcom in their latest survival horror game Resident Evil 5. That is right sports fans, you can unlock a nude(ish) Sheva. Here's how, accompanied by some artists reconstructions because we'll be damned if we can take screenshots. Them shits is too professional. Here's how to do it. You need to beat the game first. We beat it in co-op so it doesn't seem to make a difference if you do it solo. Then start the game again when you get back to chapter 3-1, (the boat level) you'll need to pick up the Beast and Warrior slates (this is what we did, we don't know if you need to pick up these slates but it's best to be sure). If you then check your map you should see a tiny island to the west of the long tentacle looking thing (the stream) on the South West of the map. Head here. On this island there is a small hut (previously not much to do with it). If you approach it an "Ente

Shit! What if I am and I don't know it yet?

Hotlinking to some news that's been all over my boink today. For those of you who are lazier than we, the premise is to slap a tax on violent video games to ugh cut knife crime, Britain's second favourite national sport. We don't think the tax is a good idea because a) People who stab other people don't buy games, they steal them at knifepoint duh and b) People who play games don't stab people*. They stay at home and play games. I'm all for reducing knife crime but I think there is a better way to be going about it, like nuking Britain from space until knife crime goes down or mass sterilisation of people who wear caps. However, I am in favour of slapping taxes on Theme Hospital to improve the NHS and we should tax the fuck out of Train Simulator to keep trains running on time. Taxes on Katamari Damacy to cure cancer etc. etc. *Excluding FIFA, Halo, CoD, GoW, the other GoW and MySims.

For reasons not to be divulged here, I had a week off of work and for reasons too painful to recount here I spent most of it on the sofa playing games. Sad perhaps but a week I thoroughly enjoyed as I relived the glory days when I could really get my teeth into some games rather than snatching the odd hour or two or playing games and then dreaming of playing them for the rest of the week, the routine that modern life forces us into. I played the Wii exclusively, proving that you don't need marines in space or space marines on planets or future marines fighting nazis to have a good game session. Here's the synopsis for all none of you out there who are at all interested: Dead Rising chop til you drop (or shop til you drop as one googler who found this site typed in). I still can't decide whether this is a good game in its own rights, a yorke notes version of a good game or just a bad game. Having played through it all of four times now, I am still none the wiser. Per