That guy's a Maniac...

I skip town for a few days and all hell breaks loose. Reports of abuse, AXE MENTALISTS and the credit change crisis. Not to mention the weeds. GOD the weeds. This seals it. I'm boycotting Nooks until all this blows over* Economic crisis and or credit crunch hits virtual world. Would be the headline I would get the BBC intern to write using this screenshot. I'd put climate change in there too. An AXE MENTALIST came to town too. This is not how you talk to AXE MENTALISTS. Nor this. Expect lives to be lost. *Well maybe next week. I have turnips I need to sell this week.

Surprisingly, we've managed to find a little Easter egg from Capcom in their latest survival horror game Resident Evil 5. That is right sports fans, you can unlock a nude(ish) Sheva. Here's how, accompanied by some artists reconstructions because we'll be damned if we can take screenshots. Them shits is too professional. Here's how to do it. You need to beat the game first. We beat it in co-op so it doesn't seem to make a difference if you do it solo. Then start the game again when you get back to chapter 3-1, (the boat level) you'll need to pick up the Beast and Warrior slates (this is what we did, we don't know if you need to pick up these slates but it's best to be sure). If you then check your map you should see a tiny island to the west of the long tentacle looking thing (the stream) on the South West of the map. Head here. On this island there is a small hut (previously not much to do with it). If you approach it an "Ente

Shit! What if I am and I don't know it yet?

Hotlinking to some news that's been all over my boink today. For those of you who are lazier than we, the premise is to slap a tax on violent video games to ugh cut knife crime, Britain's second favourite national sport. We don't think the tax is a good idea because a) People who stab other people don't buy games, they steal them at knifepoint duh and b) People who play games don't stab people*. They stay at home and play games. I'm all for reducing knife crime but I think there is a better way to be going about it, like nuking Britain from space until knife crime goes down or mass sterilisation of people who wear caps. However, I am in favour of slapping taxes on Theme Hospital to improve the NHS and we should tax the fuck out of Train Simulator to keep trains running on time. Taxes on Katamari Damacy to cure cancer etc. etc. *Excluding FIFA, Halo, CoD, GoW, the other GoW and MySims.

For reasons not to be divulged here, I had a week off of work and for reasons too painful to recount here I spent most of it on the sofa playing games. Sad perhaps but a week I thoroughly enjoyed as I relived the glory days when I could really get my teeth into some games rather than snatching the odd hour or two or playing games and then dreaming of playing them for the rest of the week, the routine that modern life forces us into. I played the Wii exclusively, proving that you don't need marines in space or space marines on planets or future marines fighting nazis to have a good game session. Here's the synopsis for all none of you out there who are at all interested: Dead Rising chop til you drop (or shop til you drop as one googler who found this site typed in). I still can't decide whether this is a good game in its own rights, a yorke notes version of a good game or just a bad game. Having played through it all of four times now, I am still none the wiser. Per

So yeah! We at TGAM love the silent hill series. In our usual overbearing and graceless manner... here is a review Well I say review, It is more a haphazard collection of images. But look at it! It's so pretty it has a manual, an attractive green box, a reversible cover, on top of that the nurses have clear and evident cleavage. Now the game, there was a lot of criticism received about this being a more "westernised" version. given that it was not developed at the Konami studios in Japan coupled with the game following in many of the traditions of the movie. And it's true it does, Pyramid-head is there, for some reason. For those of you who don't know Pyramid head is suppose to be a personification of the torment James feels in silent hill 2. But since he is a cool looking bad-ass, he was brought into the movie, and as such also into this latest iteration of the series. Another hat-tip from the movie goes to Silent hill being populated

For the Wii.Thoughts in roughly chronological order: I love Agatha Christie. She was genius, I hope Nintendo release a 100 Agatha Christie books on the DS. That would be sweet. Oh shit man murder mystery. Who is gonna die first? Sailor Boys indeed. It's the Butler. Cheese? What do I do with cheese? I hope nobody notices I am stealing everything from this house. It's Vera. Vera is hot. Glad I didn't miss that. It's Emily. Blore sounds like 'Boner' It's Boner. Stupid Wiimote safe cracking. GODDAM STUPID WIIMOTE SAFE CRACKING. Oh, wrong code. Goddam AWE and your crashes. Everygame. And again. And again. I should save more. It's the Judge! WHY WON'T EARRING MIX WITH CHEESE? Goats. Goats like cheese? Goats like apples? Goats like honey? Goats like buckets? Goats like cocktail shakers? Goats like books about bird watching? What do goats like? GODDAM AWE GLITCHES SHOULD SAVE MORE OFTEN. Not a glitch actually. It's the Doctor. Goats like walking st

In theory it should be good. But it isn't. The articles have interesting titles and are on great parts of the gaming culture but after clicking through there is no real insight there or we felt we could write a better article. Yes, us . Rumours are abound that Stolen pixels will start to get funny soon. Unskippable is a great idea. A really good idea. Someone else should have had that idea. And done something with it. Unfortunately, not what the Escapist have done with it. They update regularly, occassionally before Kotaku but then navel gaze a tad too much (the Editor's letters etc.). Perhaps in a few years they'll have something to be so reflecting about but not yet. The crossword and zero punctuation are saving graces and I don't have time to do the crossword. I feel bad for the Escapist. I just can't place what exactly they are doing wrong. Until then I'll keep checking zero punctuation.

Exciting times again! This weekend I played through the first six eigths of Dead Rising Chop Til You Drop for the Nintendo Wii. Coverage of this title in the gaming sites was poor (in the end we had to stoop to look at IGN for the review). It may be that the release of some long awaited PS3 game meant that no one really properly reviewed this game. Which, is odd considering it is a wiimake of one of the best next gen titles yet. For all you who played the original and want to know what's what or for those having second thoughts about buying it on the Wii. Here's the low down: Something Old. Three years ago Dead Rising was released on the Xbox 360. And it was great. DRCTYD, is almost the same Willamette Mall and the game will be instantly recognisable to those who saw or played the 360 version. Frank, Tits, Brad, Otis and the rest of the gang are all present and correct. Some of the psychopaths are still here, all the cutscenes and most of the original shops. The aim of the game

Can you believe it? Today I bought Dead Rising Chop Til You Drop for the Nintendo Wii. The reviews so far on the web say it's pretty bad. I won't know until tomorrow (I will not play it tonight EVEN THOUGH I HAVE IT because tonight is Bingo night). In the meantime I'm taking a look at the hard copy product. When the electricity runs out and we can't play games anymore these are the things we will have to show our children the wonder of games. We've already seen the box and the book (complete with notes sections) now we see the disc! As you can probably cannot see it is a far better disc than the Xbox 360 version. Donald didn't mention that! Dropped the ball there dipshit. It is very understated but classy. Certainly not in my top ten but it would look nice in the planned folder of Wii games I am thinking about putting together (this will be in between Animal Crossing and Endless Ocean, both of which are nice discs. Animal Crossing especially with the pa

Yes! As you may know today is the day Dead Rising Chop Til You Drop came out for the Nintendo Wii. AND I GOT IT .Last time we looked at the box. It was generally good. Now we look at the book which was in the box. This photo is pretty bad. I was so excited I was shaking. You can see they used the art from the box which is pretty standard practice actually. The book is informative but it is in black and white. You probably can't tell but this is the notes section of the book. We were worried that there would not be a notes section even though we never ever write in the notes section because it devalues the game and everyone can see you cheated. We have a designated note book for all our gaming notes. Up next: Dead Rising Chop Til You Drop: Review (of the disc).

I'm literally just this minute back from buying Dead Rising: Chop Til You Drop for the Nintendo Wii. It was exhilirating readers firstly because it is the first game I have ever bought on launch day (probably. It won't be the first game I played on launch day because that was Halo 2. Also, I probably won't play it today because I want to drag out the excitement/potential dissapointment for a little bit longer) and secondly because I bought it in a GAME shop. This is a horrible experience. I can understand why people fear gamers so much. I was in the queue with a hundred people. All of which had caps or lip piercings. Most of them were buying Killzone 2 or trading in clearly stolen Xbox 360s. They looked down their nose at me but I felt sorry for them because a) They own a PS3 and b) They secretely wished they had a platform which could play Dead Rising on it. I knew it. Also, why are GAME shops so hot? I was sweating like a bastard. But this may be because 1) I was buying

Nobody likes DLC. Nobody at all. Oh what's that? You couldn't get your act together long enough to finish that level before release so we can buy that shit later? Great . Thanks. However, the end of DLC is in sight. We got a quote from Alistair Darling, UK Chancellor of Treasures: "Nobody got any money. This means EA and everyone else has to fuck the fuck off about DLC." He then went on to say: "Media pissing molecule keep going on about how they made Little Big Planet with five people in six hours. Now they expect me to shell out 14 euros for the privelage [sic.] of a fucking Mario sackboy and I have to build my own levels to play on..... You wouldn't go to MacDonalds and be satisfied when you order a hamburger to get a roll, a 'patty' and a gherkin laid out on a tray and then be expected to build your own burger and pay for that sodding sauce. This gets right on my tits" Hurrah Mr. Darling. Hurrah we say. We'll vote for you at the

From Daemon Hatfield's review of Dead Rising chop Til You Drop over at mediocre at best 'IGN'. "the story is…well, it's one of the worst stories I've ever encountered in videogames" Really Dougy? Worse than Final Fantasy VII or VIII? Or Halo? Or Gears of War? Or Katamari Pisacy? Or any MMORPG? Or puzzle game? Or most games? Not true. Most of these conflicts occur against human "psychopaths" who can somehow withstand hundreds of bullets, which is many, many more than any zombie you encounter. Plus Frank never needs to go to the toilet and like days are really short nowehere near 24 hours long. The story ends up trying to be a social commentary on our American lifestyle Are the zombies fat? They are stupid but are they stupid enough?. Do the zombies know their geography? Are they homophobic and racist? Do they all end up going to the prom and being prom queen? Are they whiney and loud. Are the female zombies easy? [that's enough

We have totally forgotten to review No More Heroes. Even though we bought it ages ago. With Zack and Wiki for £20 from amazon.co.uk It is a very very good game. You drive around and something. We're addicted to watching the lucky star video on repeat. We scoffed at playing with the cat in other reviews. But it is nice sometimes. It has nice controls too. The bit where you use the wiimote as a phone is probably our favourite so far! We must admit though. We haven't finished it yet. We're savouring it. The bike is good as is finding all the T-shirts. What's more is that the T-shirts are backwards in the mirror. Genius! The trash collecting mini game is second only to the lawnmower one. This is for the person who searched for pregnant samus and found TGAM. Sorry but it's the best I've got. The Samus mission is by far the best. Quite how they convinced Nintendo to have her as a boss, we don't know but it is brill

There's nothing happening in games at the moment. Except for Resident Evil 5 and Dead Rising Chop til you Drop. Everyone else is getting fired. Here's a round up of the top stories this week: 1) I played a bit of Animal Crossing: Let's got to the city. I didn't go to the city, I failed to make a snowman and I only found two pitfall seeds (no fossils). The town was pretty weedilicious too. I did buy the common painting from nook though. I also got a very disturbing letter (screenies later). 2) Dead Rising Chop til you Drop is allegedly out on Friday!? How can this be? We're looking forward to it. I say we I mean I. Richie died a couple of months ago [reminds me, I need to do an obituary post] and didn't 'get' the original one. We (I) am sad that there won't be any photography as there was nothing better than accidentally whipping out the camera and taking a sneaky photo only to find some secret erotica. We (I) are not very bothered about the reduced n

Ten ways to beat the recession if you are a gamer: 1) Play all those games you haven't completed yet. This will probably see you through until 2010. 2) Laugh at your friends who spent their money on houses, cars and children instead of games. Your games haven't devalued over time, in fact with the current glut of mediocre games and sequels they may even have grown better with time. Your games won't leave you and take your children because you can't afford the lavish house and expensive food bills anymore. That's why games are great and real people selfish and 'orrible. 3) Invite all your friends who are saving money by not going out to trendy bars, clubs and to foreign countries for holidays over to your house for some mashed sessions. Show them that gaming has been valuable all along not just when you don't have anything else going on. 4) Pick up some cheap games that real people are desperately selling on Ebay. All those real people who bought a

Remember Crispy Gamer ? The guys behind some pretty good articles in recent years to be frightfully honest. This time around it's an article, pre-empting EDGEs upcoming article on the subject, about the best disc art. They then choose some of the worst disc art around but not the worst worst, just the mehhiest worst and put it up for all to see. If they went full retard it would have been fine to see some of the worst disc art around. However, the writer , one Karl Florid seems to have chosen a bunch of discs that were within reach rather than execute any kind of judgement about quality and what makes a good disc cover. What do we care you might be commenting already? We care a lot. Firstly, there's a lot of Xbox games on that list. Not that there's anything bad with Xbox and it's relation to art on disc covers per se but half the disc is covered with the Xbox banner and the other half is covered with logos etc. Automatic disqualification methinks. Secondly, it is rea

Two 'interesting' articles went up this week Why are black game characters failing audience on EDGE and Resident Evil 5 Coverage Reignites Racism Debate up on some shit blog we found. It appears that discussion about racism, race and games once again rears it's ugly head for do gooders to send their good thoughts out into the ether. However, this time around it is black history month and Resident Evil 5 demo is live so it's kinda topical. However, both of these posts completely gloss over the main meat of issues about race in games. We've all played the Resident Evil 5 demo by now and realised that there's nothing there really. Anyone wanting to single out things that they think are racist are overstretching a bit and any gamer who has been around a while can easily cite other games where the race scenario is reversed, irrelevant or ambiguous. And no one got the heeby jeebies then or had to try so hard to fight for race rights. On the internet. On a blog.

Man, do you remember Sentient? Jeez that was a pretty sweet game. They should totally update it and release it again that would be sweet. Oh dude, dude remember Colony Wars? That was ace. Someone should either bring colony wars back or make some kind of similar game. And freedom fighters! Whatever happened to freedom fighters? Hours of 4 player fun. And Project Eden! Fuck Left 4 Dead that was proper co-op. And wipeout? Why is Wipeout 2097 better than Wipeout Pure. Oh and G-police. That whole universe was great. And Syndicate wars? Where's the new Syndicate wars or anything like it? That was awesome on the PlayStation. As was micro maniacs, crash team racing, mashed! Properly good games that still get played today. Oh man killswitch was cool and the original Red Faction was amazing. Ico, Shadow of the Colossus, Dino Crisis 1 and 2. Kingdom Hearts, Dragon Quest, Burnout before it got ruined, PaRappa the Rapper, SSX FUCKING TRICKY, Timesplitters, Ring of Red, Beyond Good and Evil