That guy's a Maniac...

You can't. It is physically impossible. Anyway TGAM are going to wade into the cluster fuck bandwagon about some game where the job is to rescue a fat princess. It's by Sony or some shit. Anyway the low down is here and here . It turns out that some parties are upset because it depicts a fat woman or something along those lines. That is such a lazy line to take especially when we are judging from press releases and screenshots. Here are some further (and frankly better) complaints to make so that everyone can jump on this bandwagon and rail against evil sony, catering the whinge to whatever floats ones boat. 1) Fat Princess is racist both the titular princess and the katamari dude are white. What? Asians can't be princesses? Blacks can't be fat? Racist filth etc. etc. 2) Fat Princess is ageist. The princess looks young. What? Old people can't be princesses? Babies can't be princesses? 3) Fat Princess is sexist. The princess looks like a woman. What?

It really is. That's the reality folks. You start off writing the blog for your three friends the next thing you know you are googling yourself for hits. THE NEXT STAGE: Writing our own wikipedia page.

Lol, Just LOL xxx

WEWT! In Soul Calibur you can customize your character right down to the underwear ! Though I do wonder for my sexuality, I saw this picture and the first thing i thought was, "Ooooh those icons kinna look like WoW icons." Fig. 1. Power - Some sword from the Warrior talent tree. Fig. 2. Impact - Some shieldy talent. Fig. 3. Boost - Sheath of Light, Paladin talent Fig. 4. Gauge - Spirally green thing Fig. 5. Special - Primal Mana innit Namco... We're watching you. Richie X

Um, Yeah so there is hunners and hunners of new fap-worthy information n the up-and-coming WoW expansion Wrath of the Lich King. One such fap-worthy bit of information is the addition of "Achievements". Yeah that's right I put "Achievements" in inverted commas. Why you ask? Well because, when this was first rumoured the first thing I thought was, "Oh they are making WotLK part of the Games for Windows range." But apparently not, they have decided to make their own in-game achievements, rather than getting gamerscore, you get vanity pets, tabards, and generally other bragging rights. Makes sense though, WoW is bigger than like 10 360 games, with far too many things to unlock 1000 GPs would not be enough... But still I WANTED A GAMERSCORE BOOST :/ QQ Moar? Luv n Hugs, Richie X

Brain Aged and weighed, village weeded, plants watered, fossil collected, furniture bought, pal-parked, nintendogs fed, watered and walked, berries picked, trees watered, lottery entered, vocabulary expanded, ribbon obtained, berries given, letters written, battlegrounds grounded?, shadowcloth created, dungeon cleared, food cooked, fish caught, BMI checked and mystery gifts collected. What dailies* have you done today? *First one to say wank earns the arcade award Most Useless.

Bored of Summer shitty games? Want something more than news about more crappy rock updates for Rock Band/Guitar Hero? E3 is here to deliver. Every year E3 has a theme. This year the theme is "innovation" and the line up of games on show really underpins that. New Resident Evil 5 trailer!- Like Resident Evil 4 but shinier with vehicle sections. Final Fantasy XIII - Like Final Fantasy X but shinier with more androgenous characters/airships and the same summons etc. from every other game. Vehicle sections yet to be confirmed. Gear of War 2 - Like Gears of War but with vehicles. Dante confirmed for Soul Calibre IV!- Like Soul Calibur III but with Dante. Metal Gear Flaccid 4 special edition - With extra cutscenes and the option to turn "jam" on/off because it's wacky you see! It's random and wacky! Kojiiiima is a random whacko! Woo! Woo! I am a train. Rockband 2 Band Manager peripheral - Introduce yet another key aspect of being in a real band! Mo

Welcome ladies and gentlemen for yet another inappropriate combination of sexual release and Nintendo. Look someone has made some attachments for the Wiimote that increase stimulation... TBH Annalee over at io9 says, "Everybody wants to figure out how to put their thinger in somebody else's thinger via bluetooth or TCP/IP or port 1337. " , and this attachment has to be the least inventive Thinger2Thinger yet. Like no-one else thought of it! 2 anal-tickles out of 10 poor effort, see me after class. Luv n Hugs, Richie X

To all those people who have just woken up from an 8, 20, 32 or 44 month coma. Here's Jill Valentine wishing you merry christmas! Thanks the internet! Thanks Jill! Next on TGAM! Happy VJ day and welcome to the 21st Century for those who have had comas for a very long time.

Aaaaron Greenberg is some guy . He was saying some thing about games earlier. But he does have a massive SLAP. Just look at it. It goes on and on. Aaaaaaron Greenberg you have a fine SLAP sir. A fine SLAP. Do you get security guards to patrol it? Do you? Do you sell parts of it for advertising or mineral prospecting? Is your slap self sustaining? It could be. That is some prime farming land you have above your eyes there sir. Yes it is. So there we have it. Greenberg-Slap.

Finally!

So, I finally did the "Endless Setlist" 58 songs, around 5 hours straight playing it... Sickening. Next up... Rock band 2. It has been announced , unannounced , and maybe-rumoured for an acceptable release date in europe (uk) this time. Bet it doesn't, I bet the Americans get it in September, and then we get it 6-9 months later. I mean seriously what the hell is that! The first Rock Band was almost forgiveable, given their excuse was hardware (fake drums, fake guitars) shortages. But this time round no excuses... Harmonix/EA, you are racist, hands down racist. *sulk* Luv n Hugs, Richie

Yes. This is still going on. Today at number 43 it's Ed Fedemeyer's Haunted Maze . That shit was made in thirteen day y'all. Play it now. It's still the number one Net Yaroze game according to us in this list. Here's our low down on it almost two years ago! We don't change very much do we. The already bored of but will see the end of Top 50 list as voted by TGAM readers on our fora so far: 44: Resident Evil "gay den" 45: Final Fantasy VIII 46: Resident Evil Genesis 47: Dino Crisis 3 48: Dead Rising 49: Resident Evil Confidential Report File 1 50: Biohazard 4D Executer

It is not full on boob, It's not cleavage, It's... UNDERBOOB Coming to a System near you soon!

So yeah, I have been officially playing WoW casually * for a while now, my most recent project has been levelling a Paladin (currently lvl 63) which I have really been enjoying in some slightly risqué ways, I have not been RPing her per say. However she does have the Tabard of the Scarlet Crusade , the whole Scarlet Chains Set , and I made sure I did all the Scarlet related quest lines in Eastern Plaguelands and Stratholme . Enough that I think we can all just agree I am a little bit gay for the Scarlet Crusade. Who are the Scarlet Crusade? I ain't gonna go into it, there are plenty of other websites that can go into the details, they are essentially a bunch of Zealots who beleive that the all the Undead in WoW should be eradicated, along with anyone who sides with them, or indeed anyone who doesn't side with the Crusade. But there is a whole load of meaty story to them, political intrigue, spies within the ranks and corrupt figureheads. So anyways, one

WEWT!!! http://eu.blizzard.com/diablo3/ Another Blizzard game to suck all my life/time/friends away!!!

This rather creepy, Something Awful did a generic gamer guy skit: https://www.somethingawful.com/series/gaming-guyz/ It is worrying how similar this is to myself and Cunzy, putting the OTT homoeroticism to one side of course. Hearty Masculine Handshake, Richie

Seriously how effin cool are these T-shirts! Hypno, Mewtwo, Articuno, Cubone... all done in a tasteful* way. If only there were some other gamer T-Shirts that were tasteful... The hunt begins. * i.e. you could wear them in public, without people shaking there heads or pointing an laughing at the disgrace that comes with wearing a Pokemon Tshirt.

Yes it's Resident Evil Gaiden for the GameBoy Color. Color should have a "u" in it. We've never played it, even though it's ten pounds from amazon. We probably won't either because the GBA is no doubt some kind of corroded battery affair by now. We're also opposed to it because it is called "Gaiden". Which sounds a lot like gay den. Resident evil gay den: After the events of resident evil 1 & 2 Barry and Leon are hanging out at their secret tree house base. After Claire goes to Europe to find her brother, the boys discover through a friendly game of spin the bottle that Leon and Barry may be more than just friends. Play as Barry or Leo in in this exciting adventure for the GameBoy color. Choose the right time to come out to Rebecca. Berate Barry for always going on about Chris as if he is in love with him or something jesus Barry if you love him so much why don't you go to Europe to find him. Tell Leon cunning lies about Ada Wong

Welcome back to the Top 50! What comes after 46? Well, it's only 45! Some of you predicted this one on our Top 50 forum thread . Yes, it's Final Fantasy VIII! This is the only Final Fantasy on the list! We know what you are thinking, "Final Fantasy VIII! Better than VI!". And the answer is yes! Final Fantasy VIII had everything and it is still the most played of the Final Fantasies IN THE WORLD. It had a great storyline, especially the bit where you had to talk to a dog and the bit where everyone remembers that they forgot that they all grew up together! Squeenix gold. VIII makes the grade because it is the only Final Fantasy with three "woulds" in the main line up (Irvine, Rinoa, Tifa). Lastly, like all gamers TGAM cried like a widdle girl when Rinoa died! What a game, what a 45th TGAM top 50 ultimate TGAM top games best list of best games of all time ever entry! The list so far: 46: Resident Evil Genesis 47: Dino Crisis 3 48: Dead Rising 49: Resident