That guy's a Maniac...

Below is a chat conversation between myself an Cunzy in response to the previous post about Terra Nova: Cunzy 11: I just , I just , Hate them So much Richie: lol Cunzy 11: Hate hate hate Fair enough if they ju argghhh HATE THEM Wanky bollox It ' s rubbish Richie: I never read TN Cunzy 11: It's like TGAM except not funny or pertinent Or anything SHIT Richie: Hmmmmmmmm " Deliberately doing something pleasurable which you know will cause others pain (e.g. ganking) " from Terra Nova Ummmm Cunzy 11: Pfffffffffffffft pFffffffffffft See my comments on that post Richie: Its a gank or be ganked world... Deal with it Cunzy 11: I know Don't whinge about it But doubly don't try to define it They try to define it to themselves Chat to any normal gamer and they won't care They'll say I was ganked/fraged/ ninjad They don't care Richie: no Ninja -ing is wrong . Well wrong

Please! There's been an accident and we need help from all comers. Gamers across the web, please unite. It seems that after all those close calls, depsite everyone's warnings, the people over at Terra Nova have finally FALLEN HEAD FIRST UP THEIR OWN ASSHOLE. For those of you who don't know it Terra Nova is a blog about virtual worlds. Fair enough you might say. There's a few of those about. However, the problem with Terra Nova is that they take it way too seriously. The blog is written by various contributors who have tenuous job titles or tenuous connections to 'virtual worlds'. They only ever discuss Second Life, WoW, Guild Wars or EVE online. In addition there are a few crackpots who go on and on about MUDs. Anyway, so what you might say, you do a blog about old capcom games and sex toys. Yes. This is true. But we don't take ourselves so painfully serious and we don't make sweeping assumption about virtual worlds, catalysed by the matrix movie

Especially if I insist on buying shit like this for myself as a reward for buying other people presents. Which I will insist upon. Review of Clever Kids Dino Land based on the box art alone: Shoddy aimed-at-children game that uses about 2% of the space on a DS cartridge. Three thousand complete the six piece jigsaw mini games, and one microphone gimmick game that doesn't really work. There is a 50% chance that this game doesn't allow players to save but instead they have to enter a passcode WHICH IS SO EARLY PlayStation it hurts. With dinosaurs and mammoths 10/10 I dream of the day I can fill my little DS 9 game case carrier with dinosaur and prehistoric creatures games only! LIFE AMBITION PROGRESS: 11%. £40 and I could be 33% closer to my life ambition! MONEY CAN AND DOES BUY YOU HAPPINESS! Fossil League: GOT! Ice Age 2: The meltdown: Need! Clever Kids Dino Land: Need! Dino Master: Need! Dino Crisis DS: Not yet made. Get on it Capcom!!

Hi kids. Part three of our fanboys rantings after this inspiring post by Richie!. Here is part one and two . Chuff_72: There are no interiors in the game (well there are a couple but essentially all the buildings are just pretty boxes - there is also no interaction, you can't remove a plank bridge to stop people following you for example.) Mysterio: OMFG! THIS GAME IS SHIT - ALTAIR IS A HUMAN CHARACTER, WHY CAN’T HE REMOVE HIS ROBES AND MASTERBATE??!!!!???!!!111 Cunzy1 1: Because that would be gay and you'd probably like it and spend all your time in toilet cubicles getting rimmed and thus not buying more over hyped games.

There now follows a joint entry from Richie and from Diversion Projects, Kaiser Tia , regarding a favourite gaming franchise... As you may or may not know the Silent Hill series is getting a fifth instalment. Hurrah! However, this chapter in the series will NOT be developed by Konami Japan's Team Silent . Instead It will be developed in the US by The Collective, inc., the company responsible for such gaming classics as The Da Vinci Code and Star Wars: Episode III (ugh). Konami made a similar decision when they outsourced the PSP's Silent Hill Origins to Climax US , who did such a bad job that the game's developent that most of the game's mechanics were scrapped and production handed over to Climax UK, who were deemed more capable of delivering a 'Silent Hill experience'. Now we don't claim to be a Japanimaniacs or USAphobes, but we have all seen what happens to good Japanese things when they get Westernised. Subtlety generally goes out of the window

Omastar has been feeling bad lately. He can't drink without getting drunk. He would blame videogames but there aren't videogames yet. They wouldn't work in the sea anyways. He can't even listen to gangsta rap either because mammals haven't evolved past the "nose noise" stage in their evolution yet. Yeah that's right North. We can all copy! How do you like them apples??? EDIT: Because it's not really worth a new post. I hate being a gamer it means you download lots of shit that you don't need or will ever look at again. Especially free shit like that Good writing for games guide and Breaking the Mold Bioshock PDF. Also, btw, games people no one really cares about the art of Halo/Half Life/Bioshock. You read it once and think "Oh, OK so originally the mad doctor had three less wire tentacles coming out of his head". Then that information is instantly forgotten and never needed again. The only reason gamers buy The Art of ......

Dude, I rented Assassassassinssss Creed over the weekend and busted that bad boy right open - CAUTION, OPINION WITHIN MAY NOT BE OF THE POPULAR VARIETY. First off, I DO like this game, it is fun and looks pretty. However, it is also, misleading, rushed, boring, repetitive, annoying and overrated. Fun. I finished this game and enjoyed it, I liked the story and the characters, I thought the future elements were nice and especially that you are a Bartender called Desmond (Spoiler?), though very divisive (this game is basically a setup for a new franchise, even EA would be ashamed of the obviousness of this) and the game felt cool to play, it does a good job of making you feel like a badass (except the main dude swings his hips a little too much.) Badassedness. Of course, this is what *every* game should be about. Altair isn’t supposed to be a ‘badass’ for Fuck’s sake, he’s from a religious sub-sect from post islamic intent on destabilisation of the muslims. Duh. Looks pretty. Oh yes

Yes, here at TGAM, we have lost the plot a bit. We don't actually play games anymore but we like to think we are characters in a Douglas Coupland book*. Fortunately, Chuff_72, our man on the street, does play games. Here are his thoughts on hyped to the max Assasin's Creed. SPOILER_O_RAMA Dude, I rented Assassassassinssss Creed over the weekend and busted that bad boy right open - CAUTION, OPINION WITHIN MAY NOT BE OF THE POPULAR VARIETY. First off, I DO like this game, it is fun and looks pretty. However, it is also, misleading, rushed, boring, repetitive, annoying and overrated. Fun. I finished this game and enjoyed it, I liked the story and the characters, I thought the future elements were nice and especially that you are a Bartender called Desmond (Spoiler?), though very divisive (this game is basically a setup for a new franchise, even EA would be ashamed of the obviousness of this) and the game felt cool to play, it does a good job of making you feel like a badass (excep

Fanboy…. It seems a harmless term, no? In most cases fanboyism starts when someone claims to prefer one system’s merits over another. Be it the aesthetic qualities, technological differences or accessibility. People generally have to choose one particular system due to pricing, and dependant on the “flavour of the generation” people will change their arguments. In the case of the current generation you have a new breed of Nintendo fanboy who chose that system because of the “innovative” Wii-mote, these people will claim that graphics are non-essential and that gameplay is core. Or in the case of the 360, more and more 360 fanboys are cropping up as previously PS2 players bite the bullet, and buy a 360 due to the extensive catalogue and pricing which the PS3 cannot currently offer. That’s all fair and good these are good reasons to buy the consoles. But it does not stop there, certain people then feel that they then have to either justify their purchase, either with almost religious li

You probably don't remember when webcomic cretin Tom Bickley of Catl Ult Doll gave us a secret nod. If you don't here it is . Well after several years of randomly emailing Ryan North and telling him that he stole my idea, Omastar Comics , for his longer running comics series Dinosaur Comics (the similarity is shocking Mr North), he has finally given us the nod we so deserve here . Whaddya mean you can't see it again? Here it is: It's obvious to you and me. Once again it is shown that That Guy's A Maniac is a site for the discerning millionaire Canadian, time travel-to-steal-ideas webcomic artist. Just another reason why we are the World's Second Greatest VideoGame Blog of All Time as proved by science You are only part forgiven Ryan. The head, one arm and one leg specifically. You get to choose which side you get to keep. Nooch.

The BBC has this nice little article about how PCs are better at games than consoles or some such. I don't really know as I haven't fully read it as my attention span only lasts for a paragraph before I'm bored. But I got the gist. All I do know is that whatever you may think about PCs, the people that play them are GEEKS. Nerdo-rama. They wear big rimmed glasses and have braces. They don't have sex either. They just beat off over video game characters who sex with other dead video game characters (see above Fahrenheit ). Some guy from Nvidia says: "It's absolute nonsense to think that consoles are at the cutting edge," Yeah but only fucking nerds buy your shitty graphics cards and that clearly isn't enough. That's why you put those little leaflets in every single one of Future Publishing's console oriented magazines going on and on about how Nvidia is the future and good. BTW Nvidia, those leaflets are shit. Purely because PC games are

Yeah so it’s been a while since I went off on a WoW Rant. As you know I have a lvl 70 Mage on a PvE server. But a while ago I started an Undead Priest on a PvP server and now he has hit lvl 60. It really was the long Haul from 1-55. But when patch 2.3 hit last week, the experience gains were very noticeable! I flew up 5 levels in a matter of a few days. Patch 2.3 added a lot of new things, a new instance, a revised Duskwallow marsh with more quests for people ranged 35-45, and have made the items gotten from instances more burning-crusade-ish, and of course increased experience gains. When I was levelling my mage to 60 ( back in the day ) levels 58-60 were really epic, it took weeks of running Strat and getting Eastern Plaguelands quests completed. But in the recent updates it took about 1 night to do both those levels! On that note, I did not do any of the Outland quests to get to that level, I did it purely in Silithus and EPL, just for old times sake. So levels 61-70 now await. My

Last week, Richie and I travelled to snowy Estonia for the wedding of our old friend Randy McSporran . Suffice to say the event was chaotic and it's probably a good thing that Cunzy and Richie are normally seperated by several hundred miles. Memory is still a bit hazy but here is the summary; Stansted at midnight, vodka, coke, Pokemon Diamond, smking, checking-in, vodka and red bull at 3 in the morning, legendary battle, Ponyta, Omastar, Focus Band, Cunzy afraid of flying, airport dimensia, immaturity, Doug and Liz, Easy Jet, flying, landing, Randy and Ollie, new friends, sniffer dogs, bus, 'fit' or 'fat', hotel, mini bar, spluff on beds, snooker, MacDonalds, Kat, supermarket, Seaman's shot, Absinthe , Dark Dog , cheese waffles, Kent fags, drinking, raging, stupid cocktail, some other liquer, mixers, bull pish, more absinthe, Richie vomit, pub, Pokemon talk, stag night, kissing men, fighting, beer, Richie wiping things of his shoe onto a girl, strip club, lots o

You may remember last week I was disgusted with the way that Kotaku just can't handle comments from a woman and my account was banned. It appears that my appeal to the masses was heard and my account has been sort of reinstated [see above] but I still can't comment I can only clip articles and follow friends. This is the suxxor because: 1) Following friends on Kotaku is like swapping spit in an HIV clinique. Just because you've got it doesn't mean you should only hang out with others who do. In fact you should do the opposite. 2) Clipping articles is not something that I would ever do. The only thing I want to do is to tell the Brian who lives in Japan to shut up about his boring life and give us more games news. I hate it when site administrators rise above their stations. Would you like it if the monkey stopped mid dance and started to give us a comment on how it is to be a monkey forced to dance to a grind box day in day out? No! Dance you fucking dance mon

Many people don't realise that Omastar Comics is not a recent phenomenon. We do which makes us superior and veritable kings in the eyes of other people who "camp" the wikipedia pages for Omastar Comics. Omastar originally made a debut in the 1922 silent comic, Oma Lordy. The original comic was recently rediscovered by comic archivists in the heart of Russia. Here it is for your eyes only. Thrilling I think you'll agree no?

Tried the Line... and well, I was shot down :( She in fact looked at me disapprovingly and stated that she was not interested because Guitar hero is no longer made by Harmonix. Of all the ways I expected that line to go… I did not see that one coming. Next time… I’ll use Rock band.

Although we all try our best to be inclusive, some gaming websites just can't handle the gays or women. Imagine my disgust at seeing this this morning: For those of you who can't read or don't want to click the above image, essentially I was banned from Kotaku before I'd even had a chance to shine. For those of you who don't know it, Kotaku is a website on the internet that has lots of news about games, it's what Joystiq is trying to be . It was going to be the platform from which we launched BRAND TGAM! But it's ok, I won't cry too hard because as fate would have it I already voted for one of the co-editors, Brian Ashcraft as Games Writer Twat of 2007 in the RAM RAIDER Awards 2007 . How do you like that Brian? Imagine the dissapointment on the spunk filled rubber faces of your "family " when they hear you won that award from the only decent, respectable, industry recognised games award ceremony. Unfortunately, I think I reffered to hi

The Giant Enemy Guitar Hero , recently made an observation that for Guitar Hero 3 to really pull its weight and recreate the rock star life style, then players must have groupies. So the gauntlet was layed down, this weekend I have to brag about getting Guitar Hero 3 early to chicks, in the vein hope that they will swoon and perform sexual favours. Update after the weekend. Peace out. Richie

Hey All, Not that many Submissions this week. Just to remind you, all you need to to is find a picture (Google Image, Deviant-Art, Screenshot) then upload the picture to the Cheezburger Factory , add your own text, then send it into icanhasjillsammich@thatguys.co.uk , and boom, It'll get uploaded. For now, please enjoy these latest submitted Sammiches :D Till Next Time Richie

Video Game Music. The music of video games. Some of it is epic, some of it is very evocative and some of it is nausiating in the extreme . There are a lot of very active video game music "rearrangers", remixers and performers from the grand Video Games Lives concert , hit and miss OCremix , very raw soundclick to TGAM favourite Diversion (check the show every Thursday). From the weaboist of obscure JRPG music to the new tunes of Portal a vast swathe of it is shit. It is, don't pretend otherwise. Do you remember in the 90s where every game had an American "ROCK" soundtrack? Instantly forgotten by the next loading screen. And if video game music is mostly bad the remixes are even worse. The world does not need tinny electric guitar "rock" versions of the three notes in the chorus of the Hyrulian Field theme. There also seems to be a race to remix the dullest least memorable theme from the most obscure Japanese RPG. For god's sake just remix One Win