That guy's a Maniac...

I have a confession to make. Richie lost a game of Guitar Hero to a girl. No shame there you might say! But he actually plays the guitar. And he is a "boy".

Decided to research whether this stupidly named Alcohol had a site or not, and it fucking does! http://www.cockspurrum.com/ However the site doesnt work: Aparrently being 76 is too young to view the site... Well done Cocks(pur).

Step 3. Drink Alcohol. Right so, Arrived in London , found a place to stay, now its time to DRINK. We proceed to the nearest alcohol shop and set ourselves the challenge of drinking the funniest sounding alcohol we can find… We end up with “Cockspur”, which immediately conjures up images of some kind of old-west penis piercings. We then line up the shot glasses (all 2 of them), shove on Super smash brothers Melee, and play a variety of Drinking games: Every time we loose, take a shot. Every time we win, take a shot. Every time Richie makes us loose, take a shot. Every time Cunzy11 is the last man standing, take a shot. Every time you breathe, take a shot. Etc. Now this was around the time we realised the old curve of peak games playing vs. drunkenness. There is definitely an optimal drunken state where it enhances your gameplay, however this state is hard to pin-point due to, well… being drunk. However I’m sure we will make a concerned effort in the future to find this p

Step 2. Find Cunzy11 After landing in sunny(ish) Stansted Airport I was treated to a new challenge: Getting from Stanstead to London . Much to my delight there was a large sign saying, “This way for trains to Central London ”. But before I go further I should note that I took a train from Glasgow to Prestwick Airport which was a 50 minute journey costing £2.30. So I’m in the train station under Stansted Airport, I see some service called the “Stansted express”, but I do not see any ticket vendors, I do however see some foreign tourist with the typically huge rucksack, fumbling with a machine that seems to have swallowed his card, So FUCK using that. I get on the train, park myself down, and look around the carriage. There is a sign: Stansted Express £21 return to Central London . Twenty-one pounds! Gutted! That’s almost a 1000% mark up on the Glasgow to Prestwick Train. Sucks. So I sit on the train pretending to listen to my iPod, I say pretending, I’m actually just praying to Go

On this past Saturday I ventured to the abscesses of England , to London . Essentially this trip was to see the mighty David Gilmour at the Albert hall, but I also decided to pay a visit to an old army-buddy (Well, I say “old army-buddy”: a Uni-mate in his early twenties) called Cunzy11. Anyway the roster for the trip was as follows: Make it to London . Find Cunzy11 Drink Alcohol Purchase/Drink a Cosmopolitan with a Straight face. See David Gilmour. Break into the Big Brother house. Get home. Step 1: Make it to London . First off: there was no fucking way I was travelling to the depths of England in a bus for like a Million hours so, I bought some of the bog-standard internet flight tickets from Glasgow to London. After venturing for an hour on the Train I finally make it to the airport with 45mins to spare (as the tickets said). Well, I check in and the Big-Magical-Screen-of-all-knowing says “Flight Closed” so I fuck about in the airport, wander through W

Richie plays WoW. I don't and never will. Why? you ask when every blogger goes on about it and Youtube and Googlevideo are jammed with WoW videos. Firstly, PC gaming. PCs are inherently broken except Macs but we all know about Mac users. More often than not the lastest, and allegedly greatest, games cannot be played on your 2 day old PC unless you turn graphics, mouse, power and sound off even then it grinds to playing at 2.5 fps before blue screen death. Secondly, RPGs in general are not hard. There is no skill involved other than menu juggling. All it takes is a lot of time. Put in x-hours reach x-level repeat. If you wrote down a list of your in game acheivements it would read like a really boring diary. Went here, got this, went here got this. levelled up, went here etc. I read somewhere on a forum that a WoWer was sick of "flinch" games such as FPS, driving games, beat em ups etc. taking the limelight in e-games and on the increasing number of Webchannels. Could you

Welcome to the cyber love child of Richie and Cunzy11's Brain, and while you ponder that disturbing image, I'll be working on the reason that this digital farce ever came into being.

Due to the overwhelming success of our previous blogs we have decided to collaborate in order to bring you the latest reasons why Richie is a homo who is pretty bad at games. Enjoy