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Showing posts with the label stupid fucking blogger

Unlockable Soundtracks to Games

Please? As much as I'd love to buy one of the four OS CDs that were released in Japan it would be really nice if I could just get them off the disc. They are on the disc after all. Great thanks.

IN RELATED NEWS. Sound tests. WTF? I do want to listen to the theme from Orbital Ring Systems Cargo Bay, a catchy little ditty from Tatsunoko vs Capcom but I had to steal music of the internet to make it happen. I would never ever have call to listen to the 34 different grunts that Alex makes in the game but sure, that's what you can do in the gallery.

It makes no sense.

Come Play With Me: Dead Space Extraction Part 1

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Due to the general time constraints of normal socially adjusted people, there’s barely enough time to play games let alone write about them. This is my disclaimer for this particularly navel gazing part 1 playthrough of Dead Space Extraction by squeezing out the most words with the least play time. In the industry, this is called 'reviewing games'. That and I loved the Runner series on Mirror’s Edge. Feel free to pick up a copy of this game and join in. Chip in with your thoughts. Also, it’s fair to say this is gonna be spoilerific. This article was written after two playthroughs of the first level.


Prologue.
I’m an old fashioned kinda gal. I still like to buy games from shops and I like my hard copy games to have a story associated with them. The story of Dead Space Extraction starts last year sometime. I’d played Dead Space in an idle half an hour on a friend’s console and after that I knew I liked it. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t play the first half and hour. I played a rando…

Warning: new term approaching…

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I’m coining it here, right now, mark this day, it’s “Blog Artist”. Now this doesn’t mean some dude that creates “art” (graphics) for a blog. It is the art of blogging. One who has blogging to a fine art. I considered shortening this to Blogists, or artiloggers however this cheapens the quality to which blog artists aspire too. The best way to define this new class of bloggers is to use analogy to rock pop culture: Rockers, can dress the part, listen to all the music, and quote trivia on their favourite bands. However to be considered an Artiste you mush have talent and create.

May I introduce to you the first two Blog artists ever:

Richie!

Cunzy11

Luv n Hugs.

Stupid Fucking Employers

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Well it is a sad day indeed. I have recently learned that SFC (Stupid Fucking Customers) is dead, gone, deceased.

In all seriousness it looks like the SFC guys were busted [via truth of the peasant], a blogger's worst nightmare. However, it just goes to show the short sightedness of the slave driving employers we've all had.

They could've seen it for the tongue in cheek reflections of the dull dreary and endless jobs that we've all had and given the guys the go ahead to mention the name of the store as a kind of underground marketing exercise. But no, they decided that someone who had worked there for five years, pulling all kinds of overtime and extra shifts was worth firing because of a blog they had that gets people who work in the games industry chuckling. Seriously, did anyone not go to the store because they read SFC? I think if everyone knew where the store was we all go there to buy games and have our fingers crossed that we would be worthy in the eyes of Mario M…

Keeping the Torch Burning!

Ha! Look at these two it's all going tits up for them. I blame it on the war we had which now means we won. So now we are two for two. However, as the good ship H.M.S SFC starts to sink with Phorenzik jumping ship leaving MarioMark to desperately plug the holes in the hull with spare copies of Resistance Fall of Man we would like to steal some of their traffic and re-iterate one of the most poignant sentiments so beautifully put into words.

TALK TALK YOU ARE CUNTS

And Google never forgets! Ha! Live on SFC, live on! Special Message to the guy who's job it is to google Talk Talk daily: Hi mate. We don't want to cause any big trouble we just want the traffic so please don't hack our accounts to shut us down. Just send us an email and we'll take this post off. Okay?


Stupid Fucking Site More Like

So everyone on the internet likes to whinge but there is nothing worse than a loser and a not so loser that like to whinge about their shitty job, online, whilst they work at their shitty job.

Go here to read this big bag 'o' shite.



Here are the problems with the website "I'm a stupid customer service nerd" in a numbered list:



1) They whinge all the time about how crappy their job is yet never do anything about it like skim people's credit cards or leave the store unlocked on purpose.

2) It's as if they haven't seen Clerks or understand that they just come off as whiney nerds. Everyone has worked shit jobs but most of us managed to move on with our lives.

3) The woman (Mario Mark) almost never talks about women's issues such as periods, pregnancy boobs or grief online. Get with it bird.

4) They so desperately want to be UK:Resistance that they write about it in the comments all the time and steal their posts and spend most of the day in the work toilets…

TGAM E3

Oh man so I'm all "at E3" even though there is no E3 and oh man here's a list of the top ten most anticipated games at E3 and whatever and then I went to a Sony thing at E3 man they've got things and then I'm like all over at Nintendo E3 and we should have a poll about who is better at E3 and it's like totally Nintendo or something and then there's Halo 3 at E3 and Tony Hawk oh man and I'm all over E3 at E3. Here I am with E3 and like a new sonic game.

WHATEVER VIDEOGAMES BLOGS SHUT UP NO ONE CARES ABOUT E3. If you take one thing from E3 this year take this and shove it down your japs eye like you used to with the paperclips.

Fucking E3.

Sony has AIDS

Hey guys, girls and gaymers. It's paradox gaming time! That's right, where you the reader get to change the future by answering some hypothetical questions about games. Add your answers in the comments and I'll put them up here.

1) Would you pay £500 to be able to play one game for a month. It could be any game at all. Think of your favourite game, would you willingly pay £500 to play it?
Cunzy1 1:My favourite game of all time is probably Timesplitters 2, TGAM Game of the Year 2006. I don't think I would pay £500 to play it for a month though. I'd wait until it was cheap or free.

2) Would you pay £500 to play NHL 2K7?
Cunzy1 1: Hah! Fuck off. I've already got a NHL game. You only ever need one. It's like football games. No. Never.

3) Would you pay £500 to add a massive block of plastic to the already tight space under your TV. THe piece of plastic does nothing except play NHL 2K7?
Cunzy1 1: No. I need the space for my PS2 which can play all the Playsttion games I…

Chuff_72 Speaks: THE BIG ONE

Richie and I have been dealing with a big court case at the moment because of this post so we haven't been able to blog about Fifa 07 or the latest fake WoW :( .
However, you may remember that Chuff_72 was doing an important mission, as a maniac, but on behalf of all gamerkind (That's you readers). Have you tried to buy a game in real life recently? I'm not talking about the brand newest games I'm talking about old games that have been out for a fortnight or something? Impossible! Mr.Game only sells 5 types of EA game so where do we go to buy the underated classics like Tomb Raider 3 or Resident Evil Code Veronica X? We go to the Indie stores, at least in theory we do. I would argue that if game developers want to sell their games they should make sure their games stay in fucking stores for longer than a week. Chuff_72 went to scope out the game shops in Europe's capital city, London. London must sell some ace games right? Right?
Here are his findings in one big chu…