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Showing posts with the label good times

Freedom Force: A game that came out 13 years ago

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Like most people with a steam account, I buy things on a whim... I have around 150 games in my steam library and still complain that, I have nothing to play... One such of these whim-bought games is Freedom Force.


I, at the risk of being one those dicks who say, "OMG this movie came out X years ago, doesn't that make you feel so old!", remember this game fondly when it came out. It wasn't Marvel or DC but it was a comic book style (even though I do not read comic books) game. I remember it being pimped to me as Diablo 2 with Superheroes, even though it is not a hack and slash, nor features any loot whatsoever. I do remember spending until the wee hours customizing and clicking on these copyright infringing polygony superheroes.
So I bought it and loaded it up again, well I say "Loaded up" as with any game on Steam, more than a few days old there is always a bit of jiggery-pokery to make it work, so let me rephrase:
So I bought it, clicked play, turns out th…

Fire Emblem: Dying

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We're finally on the Fire Emblem:Awakening train! Choo choo. To be honest, we've never really played a Fire Emblem game and until the last few installments they've been somewhat stealth releases in Europe (hence why a mint copy of 2008 Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn for the Wii will set you back £70-£100).
It wasn't until Super Smash Brothers that I even knew this series existed. The latest game, Fire Emblem: Awakening for the Nintendo 3DS widely received rave reviews and we can see why. It's a great little turn based tactical role playing game (for non-gamers you move little people around on a map) but an important element of the game is building up relationships between units that fight with each other so that your characters can fall in love. Aaaaaaah. Also, the game features 'perma-death', actually characters are 'retired', so if a character falls on the field of battle you're left with the decision to either go back to your last save sometimes …

The Ideas Factory

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We're full of good ideas but lack the skill and will to see them to fruition. We're so charitable though, we're giving these away for free! If you're one of the 140,000 people who make video game videos and other video game content on the Internet, please make one of these. We don't want any credit beside the credit line (c) Thatguysamaniac, www.thatguys.co.uk all rights reserved. 
1) The Hunk Umbrella GMV. Make it happen people, it's been six years already. Nobody wants to see your Final Fantasy videos. This is that the people want.

2) Capcom Cam. Like candid camera but with Capcom instead. This idea requires quite a big budget but should be a spoof current affairs show with only female panelists and talking heads. At the end of every show, they find out that the cameras have only been filming them above their knees and below their face.  Then Kenzo Tsujimoto pops up and says "Congratulations! You're on Capcom camera". Guaranteed hit.

4) Talk like …

Really Good

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Depression

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NOT A LOT GOING ON IN GAMING FOLKS. There's all that sexism rubbish which might be worth discussing were the internet version of the gaming community not a multiheaded siren screaming inanity. E3 failed to get anyone hyped about anything (those few people pretending that smartglass is a thing are clutching at straws). But don't worry kids! It isn't all:
AND Umm. Well it might be. We hadn't thought past the joke. Quick look, a Final Fantasy VII rerelease...
Phew that was close.

Not the normal whinge

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We whinge too much. One of the things we whinge about is how game retailers don't seem to be able to distinguish their mid arm ginglymus from their midrectum aperture when it comes to the business of selling games.

In the immortal words of Chief Brian Irons, whose hobby used to be taxidermy "BUT NO LONGER".


We're so happy we even busted out a de-motivational poster and a Resident Evil 2 quote just like it were 2005 all over again.

MCV talk to Robert Hennessy, John Lewis' new games buyer and he be talking a whole lotta sense. Including a Nintendo Shop at John Lewis' flagship store, just around the corner from the hit-and-miss flagship GAME store. In a word, FUCK YES and in more words ABOUT TIME.

Unit of the Month: Whore Truck

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What's this? A new feature? Yes, we've been looking at our web statistics and the readers of this site have been spending almost two tenths of a second longer on the site than ever before. We thought that if we introduce more features we could push the dwell time up to a whole fucking second. That and Unit of the Month: Whore Truck sounds a lot more compelling than Most Recent Idea From Our Brain, Unit of The Month: Whore Truck. Or does it? Who are we to decide?
Most Recent Idea From Our Brain, Unit of The Month: Whore Truck. If gaming is to ever be treated seriously, like cancer or X factor then there are certain terms that need to be expunged from the gaming lexicon. One such term is games and another is unit and upgrade, damage, special move and more importantly power-ups. Look at this video, better still, watch it:


Even the little boggle eyed boy sounds cool going on about conquering worlds. What did you do last night? "Well, I upgraded my units so they could do more da…

Wii Are Online

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Finally. Finally, we got the Wii online this weekend. Why the long wait? Well it's a combination of one part refusing to give in to having the internet in the house, two parts getting the internet requires phoning people and organising things and twenty parts I have problems with other people in online spaces.

This last one is fairly debilitating much like my Valvitis but I get the shakes and some serious anxiety when I game online with other people. It is super exhilarating but also very nerve wracking.

Anyway these issues were conquered. The internet was switched on and here's what I did next:
Downloaded all the Wii channels from't Nintendo Shop. Having done this laborious task at least four times for friends who had no idea the Wii could even be "online" I was happy to do it for someone who might actually use the channels more than once in a lifetime. I appreciate that the news and weather channels might not be up everyone's street but there is nothing finer …

Our new favourite video game character

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Is this muggy cunt in Wii Fit Plus (on the right in the image above). I don't know how he is voiced in other territories but he sounds like a proper geeza in the PAL version. Here are a selection of sound bites:

"Punch it! Don't touch it up you muggy cunt"

"Alright you muggy cunt let's box this mush"

"I'm a cockney I'm a cockney"

"Ening staaaaaaaaaad. Ening staaaaaaaad"

"Jog on you muggy cunt"

"Ya muvva ya muvva ya muvva. And ya faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaava"

"Love a duck you muggy muvva"

"Cost you a pony you muvva"

We don't even know his name but we love him. Excercise and video game characters have never been so fun. We can't wait for him to get his own sequel Wii Geezer. Basically you spend the whole game selling pineapples, driving taxis and taking shanks's pony everywhere. IMPROMPTU REVIEW BASED ON CONCEPT ALONE; Excellent characterisation and a good storyline but some of the balance boa…

1m Xboxes may become ex-boxes

Was the front page news the Metro was running today. Is it the first ever gaming news front page in a publication with semi-decent circulation? Probably. Anyway to the story as reported by the Metro.

One gamer, cut off by MS had this to say:

"I was gutted, completely gutted. It's like telling someone their dog's just died"

Our thoughts on this. 1) Why is only people in newspapers say gutted. They are always gutted about things in newspapers but we all know nobody actually says gutted since the late 90s. 2)It is not like telling someone their dog just died because normally dogs last longer than a console generation, you can play with your dog any time regardless of whether you are connected/Xbox is working, you can entertain more than two people with a dog at any one time without having to set up Rock band, people know what a dog is, a dog is fully compatible with any dogs you may already have, girls are interested in dogs, you can take your dog outside or on holiday and…

The Ad Man is a Bad Man

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Those of you living in the United Kingdom Emirates may have seen a couple of the recent Fallout 3 GOTY edition TV spots. This makes a refreshing change from the constant Wii adverts.

We looked for a relevant video on Youtube but there are so many gameplay videos it was tricky to find. So instead we're going to go back in time to 1950 and explain the advert using only words*.

THE GUY WHO DOES ALL THE VOICEOVERS FOR AMERICAN ACTION FILMS: Play Fwallout 3 NOW!
2 second clip of someone doing a head shot.
2 second clip of someone hitting someone with something else.
2 second clip of someone having an explosive device thrown at them.
2 second clip of someone having something [indistinguishable] violent done to them in slow motion.
THE GUY WHO DOES ALL THE VOICEOVERS FOR AMERICAN ACTION FILMS: Gwame of the Ywear Edition out No[Gravel, gravel, Gravel]w.
1 second shot of credits.
End.

Now we're all for televisual adverts for great games but is the advert really capturing what is truly great abo…

Dragon Ball Z: Raging Blast - The Inevitable.

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Yeah it happened... Delay #1

Where it was previously set for October 23rd UK release. It is now set for a November 13th release.

No news on any new characters... so it looks like we are just on the usual set of DBZ characters, with a few of the movie characters. Though there are rumours circulating of around 4 or 5 extra characters. Which logically will be Hercule (Comedic character), Cell Jr (Spawns of Cell), Saibamen (Little green aliens the Saiyans use) and Janemba (The big bad that fought Goku and Vegeta's combined form, Gogeta, who has already been confirmed, though I suspect that SS3 Broly might be his adversary [interesting, maybe we can get SS3 Gogeta?]).

On a personal note. I would like them to return all the previous characters from previous games, GT aside there was plenty of interesting "What-if" scenarios in the previous games such as Goku and Hercule fusion (Gocule) Tien and Yamcha fusion (Tiencha) and even the addition of the original Dragonball characters (…

Watch Tonight!

From the Graudian

Gameswipe With Charlie Brooker 10pm BBC4

Following in the footsteps of Screenwipe, Charlie Brooker's new show- you guessed it- aims its remote at the world of videogames. Whether you're a gamer hater or lover, Gameswipe- part of the Electric Revolution season on BBC4- shows how games can be just as dumb or brilliant as TV and movies. And Charlie certainly knows what he's talking about, having spent his early career causing mayhem at PC Zone. Graham Lineham, Dara O'Brian and Dom Joly are on hand to join in the pixellated fun.

Thoughts on the bit from the Guardian:

1) TV and Movie envy :(
2) Gamer hater or lover? Surely this should be game hater or lover? Who loves gamers?
3) Would have left out the bit about PC Zone, most people think that is a shop where you buy printers.
4) With the exception of Graham Linehan funny men from elsewhere on TV have no place here.
5) Videogame rather than video game? Controversial.
6) Forgot to mention the guys from Videogaiden, …

We got a reply!

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Remember that lost post when we emailed LEGEND Graeme Norgate? Well he only friggin emailed back, which to be honest has made us gush like a mucopurulent teenage girl at a Jonas Brothers gig under a waterfall.

Here's what Big G had to say:

Hello,
Thanks for the email, glad to hear you like my stuff...going all the way back to KI too, that is retro :)


the "is that too loud" bit is just me messing around with sounds and for some reason putting them on the gameover screen of Timesplitters 2. I can't quite remember the reasoning behind it now, I think it stems back to when I would listen to vinyl as a kid, and sometimes you'd get a "hidden" message right at the end.

Thanks again
Regards
Graeme

This email gave us lots of useful information about Graeme. Like, if we want to be like Graeme we'll say KI instead of Killer Instinct. Also, we got a fricking emoticon. I'm never gonna wash my email inbox ever again.

So that's the reason behind the little noise an…

Blinky bill and Breathy Bob

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Call us turn around kings if you will but news of Shadow of Memories coming to the PSP has changed our hearts and our minds.

We loved the 2001 original. It was brilliant. Perhaps third greatest game of all time. We still finished it with a bunch of weird objects left over but travelling through time in the sleepy streets blew our minds at the time*.







*That and some special biscuits.