Posts

Showing posts with the label boo hoo

Back to Life, Back to Neptunia

Image
Soul II Soul aside, and hereby referencing my age, making the following post just that touch more creepy...


After a solid few weeks of following the Capcom hype-train and completing RE2:Remake and DMCV, I am maintaining a transport metaphor and like a midwestern early 20th century hobo I'm grabbing my belongings in a handkerchief suspended in a stick over my shoulder and jumpin’ carts, scuttling back over to the Nep-train with a jug of moonshine.


I needed a change of pace, too much panicking, getting bitten and quick action Super Sexy Stylin’ button mashing. I found myself pining for turn-based JRPG,  where not exactly the most thrill chasing of genres, ultimately just some menus which make flashy wooshes and sound effects interspersed with some plot advancing text. I miss the grandeur of Final Fantasy VII, Chrono Trigger, Super Mario RPG, and um… More recently… um? I dunno, I guess that Miitopia one? And maybe Pokemon?  Most turn-based JRPGs nowadays are linked to  massive overwh…

I Love Rodland

Image
A beautiful bit of "16-bit" work.

The whole thing is just the epitome of the crazy Japanese pixel are you come to expect from the mid 90's

You don't see shit like this nowadays, no siree, Its all fucking hyper real sci-fi men with brown hair.

Where's the fantasy where is the off-the-wall utter madness you used to see in games.

Even the fucking F2P Monstrosities with cartoon graphics still settle into the old D&D tropes.

Love and Fuck you, I'm old, I get it,

Richie X






We heard something about someone but we're too afraid to write about it on the Internet

Image
Fortunately, Alcamoth Citizen our journalist from Xenoblade Chronicles is in a place where the press can't touch her. She truly has freedom of speech. So Alcamoth Citizen, lay it on us. What's the haps? I think that that says it all. I hope we haven't implicated anyone directly or indirectly with this post....

The next thing we're getting pushed on us

Ninja Theory "the big retail model is creaking" and "the digital revolution can't come soon enough" Via EDGE
Yeah sure it can't. Especially when you can't be bothered to do any market research before you spend three years and millions of pounds on making a game, do any proper marketing, don't do product support beyond launch day, you don't even sell your own game through your website*, new or pre-owned copies aren't available on the high street after week 1 and you don't do much localisation beyond English. Yeah. Gee. I wonder why your products haven't been selling like hot cakes. Boo hoo.

* In fact on their official website they haven't even bothered to list their game Enslaved. You know the one that came out almost a year ago.**
** In fact...
to: webmaster@ninjatheory.com subject: Your website kinda sucks
To "The Webmaster"
You haven't even listed Enslaved yet, you don't tell people where they can buy your games, yo…

GAME to close down some stores.

First can we say how sad it will be for all those who lose their jobs in the closure of 43 shops across the UK. Now that is out of the way can we now say good. Good riddance GAME.
We tried to support you in the credit crunch crisis thingy but you didn't have the games we wanted a mere six days after launch. Also, I'm not entirely surprised at the closures either when your stores look and feel like a teenager's bedroom.

We remember the days when GAME was merely an awesome mail order site and you'd order stuff from the back of a mag. We got Legacy of Kain, Resident Evil, Broken Helix and Tomb Raider from GAME before it became a shop*. Any and every title including the more obscure ones were available back then when gaming shops on the high street were basically for PC games and printers. To see it's horrid generic commercial horribleness now makes us sad :(


*Just checked wikipedia. Our memories seem to be totally apocryphal. Maybe we meant Gameplay? W/ever. OH MAN WE FO…