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Showing posts with the label Tomb Raiderz: Urban

TGAM went outside.

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And we went to the V&A (AKA Victoria and Albert Museum). After shyly looking away when we thought some girl looked at us whilst we were trading Pokemon with ourselves on the train, we paid our &13.50 to see the British design exhibition. The exhibit is littered with some really kitschy examples of British design, from simple things like the font used on Road Signs, to Ziggy Stardust outfit.

But the exceptional part was the brief Computer games section... Exceptional may be a tad over-selling it. The fact there was a Computer games section which was pretty much mind blowing in itself. There were no descriptions is was just a darkened room with the following:

Elite: This was being projected on a wall showing some of the battle scenes. Elite is an important game as, even though it's nearly 20 years old, it set a standard for CCP's space trading MMO: EVE Online. In fact if you strip away the overzealous graphics and the recently tacked-on interior stuff, it's the same g…

Thoughts on the Heavy Rain Showering/Golden Shower "Leak"

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So many piss jokes we don't know where to start. All the major gaming news networks reported that two Heavy Rain 'videos' were 'leaked' (when is the game out again?). One of which was the opening sequence, the other was gameplay of slutbungwulla having a shower and having a wee.

We watched both videos on your behalf and here are our thoughts:

1) It is a fucked up world where a video of a virtual woman having a wee generates more interest than all those videos of virtual death and mass murder. Even more so that either of those kinds of videos drums up more interest than all that depressing 'news' stuff on real MDKs.
2) On the upside, the shower scene is so devoid of titilation (ha tit) that only the most frustrated of adolescents are in danger of getting aroused. However, it is really boring. This is an unattractive woman having a shower after a hard day at work perhaps? From what we saw she doesn't frig or hide the soap. She just showers a bit. We can bare…

Top 5 Tube Stations in games

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Bored of video game lists? Loins not set ablaze by underground train stations? Then boy you are in the wrong place because here is TGAM's Top 5 Underground Train Stations* in games list. We may have done this list before that is how low on ideas we are.

5. Santa Destroy Tube Station.
This is one of those ones we remembered so put it in here. You don't actually do much in it and all of the stairways and doorways are blocked off with wet floor signs or red cones. There are vending machines. You get the train to fight Destroy Man.

4. Raccoon City Tube Station.
Somehow the zombie plague has caused some underground trains to crash. Maybe they ate the driver or something and he braked too hard in his death throws. Anyway, it is a scary place and looks exactly like Santa Destroy station. Is this how all American Tube stations look? My sample size of two says yes. Also, here's a fun fact in America they call the tube (or Underground) the sub-surfarizerotor.

3. Silent Hill Tube Station.

Is the PSP worth getting yet?

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Let's check. The last time we paid any attention to the "little handheld that could" there was nothing going on.

From field data gathered by observing people using it on the bus and on the train it seems that 98% of them use it to watch Family Guy or South Park episodes. The other 2% play GTA.

Apparently, it can connect to the PS3. Which is a shame because the PS3 is probably the least useful thing an appliance could ever connect to. In fact plugging your PSP into the ground probably offers up infinitly more exciting gaming opportunities.

And what of those "games" that Sony used to do?

Hmmmm Tekken is the best game for the PSP according to Gayspot. Looking at Metacritic there has only been one game post launch better than Lumines and Wipeout. Thems are four years old y'all.

Well I do not know about you but I certainly can't wait for PSP Go! to play those four year old games on. Can you?

Lara Croft: Sold

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Yeah sold, like the veritable female object she is. SCi need some cash so they are thinking about selling her on. Of course, soulless money grubbing EA have already expressed their interest. They are possible already ejaculating their tainted devil seed it into their boxers, at the thought of twisting, mangling and destroying our beloved gamer icon. I know Eidos have not done their best with her, but if I owned Lara I would feel a responsibility to not allow EA to get their hands on it. Fuck it… I’d probably sell it to an indie for half the price, purely in the hopes that here already mangled polygons do not get violated any further with EA. Aside from her turning up in every EA game as a bonus character, she already has a game lined up...Tomb Raiderz Urban:Set in WWII on the beaches of Normandy, Lara Croft has to street race her way around the globe with her skateboarding sidekick Tiger Woods to retrieve the EA Trax stolen by John Madden and the Evil Fifas.Features:

- Her boobs will b…