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Showing posts with the label Sega

Review Alien: Isolation & Lazy Gaming

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Obnoxious Self-Indulgent Preamble That Passes For Games Journalism These Days When did we get so lazy as gamers? Is it just age? Is it that when you can play games whenever you want it becomes less fun? Is it the era of convenience over quality that we live in? Is it surplus leads to boredom rather than when you might get one or two new games a year rather than just buying up humble bundles that sit unplayed on Steam 'just in case'? We can barely be bothered to change a disc or cartridge let alone set up a VR headset. 
And it's because of this slovenly indolence that we (and many others) have been digitally picking up games we already own for the Switch because within seconds you're in the game. No disc. No updates. No over-bearing interface or account juggling. Just on, select game, choose Mii and in. This convenience, dear reader, is why we recently picked up Alien Isolation for the Switch. We bought it when it came in 2014 but it was more quicker, not to mention mor…

Status Check: Are Mobile Games Any Good Yet?

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Tl;dr, No.



Every so often a new flavour of mobile game comes along and you download it. Now your reasons for downloading it could be many:
It has characters/personalities/endorsements from TV/Movies/Games and you like them.Giant anime titties or inferred nuditySome other brainwashed cunt tells you "It's different, this one is good"*It has been sold to you as the mobile version of [x] game which you used to play on [insert nostalgic actual gaming platform]*This is because he/she spent money on it, and the poor fucker is spreading their misery: isolate them, identify them as the problem, and destroy them. 
There is a secret option here, which is it's own backward-ass problem You bought a console port - Well done you! Now go play it for 15 mins, get nostalgic, and promptly realise that it is not fun to play with touch screen controls and your big ol' thumbs are in the way, covering the UI.  I am a victim of this too, I can name a load of mobile games I have downloaded…

Flame Rounds: Sega Dreamcast

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Due to the runaway success of Acid rounds we would like to kick of our sister series of semi regular, irregular posts.

Flame rounds lets us fulfil our yearning passion to be Frank Skinner, taking on his role as Judge, Jury, and Executioner in Room 101. We will be presenting a case for a particular Trope/Character/Item/UI element that pisses us off and then trying to justify whether this thing should go into room 101 (get flame rounded?)

Cunzy1 1: So the honour of the inaugural Flame Rounds goes to you. What part of gaming do you want to see errr flame rounded?

Richie: Kicking it all off Imma drop a big old bombshell on this one, Sega Dreamcast. I want the Sega Dreamcast to go in to Room 101, stop folks banging on about it. The Dreamcast was just not all that great, in fact the more I think about it the more shit it was, the spectrum of exclusive games was minimal, and there was like 3, if that. The controller was not very friendly, and that concept of the Tamagotchi memory card was fla…

MegaNeptunia Series vs Overload-dimension: Part 3

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Ugh, yet another Neptunia game on my plate,

Megatagmension Blanc + Neptune vs zombies
This one is the direct follow up to Hyperdimension Neptunia U: Action unleashed, which I gushed about over here.

And in-line with all that is crazy with the Neptunia Series, I will give you a brief overview of the plot.

This time "for some reason" the goddesses are highschool students.

That reason being, schoolgirl outfits I'm sure... And in this school, there is a film club. In previous games Blanc has always been pegged with the trope of being a reader and being a creative writer. So, this outing, which is accredited to her, she is the film club "writer" and she narrates the "story" but this is not all, the film club is doing an amateur film about Zombies, at the same time as there is an actual Zombie outbreak at their school.

So, the anime-girl-anthropomorphised console wars have done a spin off game where they are high school students, who are making a zombie film…

MegaNeptunia Series vs Overload-dimension: Part 2

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Yo!
Following on from my other post about how there are far too many Neptune Series games in my life. Today we have: 
Superdimension Neptune VS Sega Hard Girls
This one exists to dominate my mobile gaming gaming urges, on the Vita. Yup while everyone is playing with their Switch's on their commutes. I'm happy to just sit down in a train full of passengers, pull it out and start playing with it...



...Anyways, yeah this one is a weird one and it took me a while a while to get my head around its premise...

Right so you are aware that (more or less) the goddesses are anthropomorphised (albeit as Anime girls) representations of the console wars:

Left to Right: Blanc (Nintendo), Neptune (Sega), Vert (Xbox), Noire (Sony)
In superdimension they have also included a crossover with the "Sega Hard Girls" which, to make things more confusing, are representations of all Sega Hardware (geddit? Hardware/Hardgirls)
Left to Right: Dreamcast, Saturn, Mega Drive, Game Gear
Confusing beca…

Project X Zone 2: Project X Done

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It happens to us all, we hit the end credits and we slowly die inside as various names scroll past our eyes, as 50+ hours of investment in characters and mechanics is being taken away from us. This time it is happening to me, y t again, I am left with a a hollow void in my heart where once lay Project X Zone 2.

It has been a wonderful adventure, All of these characters coming together to save the world from the Deux Ex Machina that is "Dimensions Melding".  It doesn't matter to me! I dig the gameplay but equally love the visual novel aspect... the interactions are priceless:



I'll miss these guys. Roll on Project X Zone 3, (maybe time to go back and play New game+ on Project X Zone?)

Love and KOS-MOS

Richie X

I did find it funny, not so much sad

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Yes it's a review of three year old Madworld for the Nintendo Wii. When it came out last millennium in 2009, the middling reviews and the overt attempt at being 'mature' put us off. Until we found it for sale for £2.50. At that price we don't care if it is shit.
But it isn't shit. It is actually quite good. It is a very inspired title. By that we mean it's probably easier to explain the game to you in the media that has 'inspired' it. Take the aesthetic from Sin City, and the plots from Escape from L.A. (or Batman Arkham city for our younger readers), The Running Man, Manhunt and a splash of No More Heroes. Allow to rest and then whisk in mechanics and directly lift at least one boss character from Devil May Cry. Add a couple of levels on a bike from Final Fantasy VII, throw in a Caddyshack reference and a level that rips off Star Wars. If you are going to lean on source material, they could have chosen worse sources of inspiration I guess.
You play a…

House of The Dead

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It's always nice to find yourself in the household of a fellow gamer. By far the best bit is perusing their game collection and is also why we hide Shadow the Hedgehog from public display, at the back, in a box re-sleeved with a CoD insert. It is also is a prime time to play those game you wouldn't have bought yourself but are mildly curious about. Hence how we ended up playing House of the Dead 2, 3 and Overkill.
Way back when, our family had a Mega Drive and so I grew up on all things SEGA. Sega at home is fine. Arcade SEGA though? Ugh. Unlike rigid and structured games for the home consoles Arcade games are noisy, flashy and 'loose' a bit like your mother. Arcade games are a Waquila suicide* to home games single malt whiskey. Created to rinse your wallet they lack the structure I need to not go foetal and I still shudder when I have to choose 'arcade mode' from a game menu. It's why I'd been avoiding HoTD.

I got over it though and HoTD is fun if not…

Pronounced 'Say-Ga' You Twat

Pray you don't have offspring and if it is any consolation you inspired this poem:

A Man

A man today is trying to convince me that Sega is pronounced
Sea-Ga
Not Say-Ga
And that there was the last straw
That is what made me take my Daddy's Glock
Down to the family fair
It took me Ay-Gees

x x