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Showing posts with the label Nerds

Vampire: the Masquerade: the other one: colon

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Now just quickly I would like to emphasise that I ain't no geek, I don't know anything about vampires or shit like that, certainly nothing about rolling D20's for initiative, or the white wolf series, that sort of stuff is for nerds.
So Paradox have recently teased us with some tweets and images of some new project they are working on.



This has lead to an out cry of journos everywhere going, "Oh my god that is that bit from the original Vampire: The Masquerade game!" Which is in part right, they are locations from Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlines, however Bloodlines was not the Original game, it was Vampire: The Masquerade Redemption.


People tend to forget the original Vampire: The Masquerade game overshadowed by its sequel, Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlines (ed: so many colons!), yet VTMR (ed: phew) really caused a stir for being an obscure PC game from 2000. VTMR was released at peak Nihilistic Antihero trenchcoat time. Post-Matrix, when everyone nerd who e…

Next next gen: Already?

Readers of this here blog will notice that aside from posts about pokemon, vibrating attachments for various mp3 players and a love hate relationship with achievements is that we occasionally begrudge getting told what's next.

Already there's stifled hype for the next generation leaking out all over the place. Iwata has started the Wii 2 hype train with typical no news statements and as usual the shit eaters are eating it up. There's no discerning or questioning here. Something new? Give it to me. Give me something new they say.

SO this current generation has had longer than most but that's a pretty arbitrary measurement of how 'good we've had it'. Richie and I often theoretically talk about educating a complete non gamer in the way of games. We compile a big old list of all the games that really add something new or show off the best of video games. Our hypothetical non gamer has to play through them all chronologically and at the end is given a certificate …

Congratulations ONM!

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Congratulations to out favorite Uk-based Official Nintendo Magazine on their new Guinness Book of Records (Gamer's Edition) World Record for:

Most articles published on least content [Nintendo Franchise]

The prestigious magazine picked up the tenuous award upon posting the article titled "New Pokémon outed". This record breaking article made the books as the 2210,0067th article on the unreleased game Pokemon Black and White. So far, a handful of screenshots and a dozen confirmed new pokemon have inspired the skilled team at ONM to:

Write more news articles on this one game than Pokemon in the pokedex (with the new editions).
Produce articles which when printed out and bound, forms a series of volumes larger than that human genome book series that twattish scientists keep banging on about.
Write more words than neurons in the average human brain.
Draw more inane comments than bricks in the Great Wall of China.

The record was previously held by blogger Ed Green, who, due to a pro…

Fanservice Inc

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Is anyone else totally addicted to the diorama mode on Super Smash Brothers Brawl? YES! You too! Great here are some of my creations for people to use to add some spice to their fan fictions. I've given some title and synopsis hints but feel free to use your own okay? And don't say I don't ever give you anything disgusting fanfiction people.


Suggested Title: BigglypuffStar.
Synopsis: The galaxy is in a state of civil war. The Psychic Type Alliance has stolen plans to the Normal type empire's BigglypuffStar: a space station capable of annihilating a planet.


Suggested Title: High School Musical (Fire emblemxPokemon)
Synopsis: Marth and Lyn both have strong feelings for Wobbuffet even though they are all in the same band with Donkey Kong. Will Marth and Lyn manage to sort out their differences before the performance of the high school musical? Or will their fueding ruin the whole thing?


Suggested Title: 'Upskirt days'
Synopsis: Rumours are abound that Palutena is in fac…

Survival Horror...

...It's a bit of a dead genre.

Pun intended.

That Guys is now a blind cave salamander!

Yes it is. Five points if you can get the reference.

Omastar Comics #15, AKA Forgot about Dre

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No Christmas way back then. Still doesn't stop Omastar anachronistically looking forward to it? Does it?


Whatever, Omastar. You'd be bored after like two years of it.

In other news:

Halo 4 storyline leaked by Bungie! Here it is especially for you, That Guy's Reader: "There's a man in the green suit. He a shooty man. Hes killin all the bad ones till the end when the shooty man maybe dead. He not dead. He just go away until Halo 5". EPIC stuff I think you'll agree.

Also, rumours that the Rockband drum set has traces of arsenic in it are abound. Be very careful the next time you play Rockband because you'll look like a fucking tit in front of all your friends. Oh and also the poison too.

"Rape me" by Nirvana confirmed for Singstar in April this year. Too late for the office parties but an essential addition to the DLC that ought to keep Singstar afloat for a while longer.

Jeff Glooberman

As about 2 of our 5 readers worked out, I recently wasn't fired but was sham fired, mirroring the recent oxymoronic Gaming Journalism integrity fiasco over at Gamespot. If you don't know the haps by now, basically, some guy called Jeff Niderman, who is/was some kind of editor over at Gamespot, did a text and video review of the much hyped, always looked-like-it-would-turn-out-mediocre, game, Kane and Lynch:Dead Men. Kane and Lynch: Dead Men was published by the "haven't done anything good since Resident Evil 3:Nemesis" publisher Eidos. The review gave it a 6 and Jeff Groberlein repeatedly described it as ugly throughout the video review. Then after some initial grape vine rumours it turns out that Jeff Gleistmeyer was unceremoniously fired at Gamespot and as it happens around the same time, "thanks for ruining Tomb Raider" publisher Eidos had also planned to do a big marketing campaign on the face of Gamespot for Kane and Lynch: Dead Men. The gibbering …

The Pokemon Drinking Game [Prison rules version]

Sometime soon, not today, maybe not even this year, but before the end of the world Richie and I are going to liveblog playing the ultimate pokemon drinking game. Drinking? Pokemon? Game? I hear no-one say. Yes that's right. Oh you want to play too? Here's the rules:

1) Equitment
You have to pronounce equipment as equitment and skeleton as skellington and vehicle as vericle. It's all part of playing the drinking game. Anyway to fully enjoy the Pokemon Drinking Game you need the following:


Every single episode of Pokemon the animated series including the films and the Pikachu films (You can illegally download all of these from the internet. I strongly advocate that you do because when 4Kids or Nintendo or whoever finally decide to release all of them in your region there will be 2.5 episodes per DVD and it'll cost £15 each, even then they'll release only half of them).A whole week (7 days, preferably 8) with no other commitments. It might be advisable to send your bett…

Deconstructing Weak-Ass Arguments about gaming on the Internets #48

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If you are as nerdy as me, you have no doubt gone about the web and read a plethora of girl gamer blogs, sites that have four posts on them, (most of which are copy and paste Etsy rummages from the excellent Wonderland) the latest post is about four months old, the comments boxes are largely empty and the only thought out article is one about “There are no strong female characters in video games”. Today I’ll be arguing that this is a bogus statement.

This argument isn’t new but the release of Super Princess Peach prompted a revival in the “computer games femmes are often portrayed as weak argument” by male and female gamers alike. Now it seems that any female gamer wanting to say something on the internets has to have written something like this in order to demonstrate that they really care or have something of worth to say about it.

Personally, given the choice I will play as a female character most of the time. They tend to be more interesting and less generic than male characters but…

Hey- Low!

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So All-Star and TGAMer, Chuff_72, our eye on Xbox Live reports that yesterday:

"Well I got home yesterday, and everyone in the world was logged into Crackdown waiting for the Halo 3 Beta to go live (it was supposed to at 2pm) and for some reason it wouldn't, so I went online and it was basically carnage! There were people on Bungie.net threatening to sue and one dude said he was gonna hang himself! Sooooo funny, I love people I do! All Bungie were saying was "sorry" so it left all these retards crying like little girls… Anyways they have apparently fixed it and both the Dr and I set it to download this morning, ready to go tonight - I will have a full TGAM Special on it tomorrow… probably."

Which reminded me that there have been a couple of low blows to the Halo community in recent days. A lot of people rolling their eyes because there's a new game and it's going to so popular but no-one understands games anymore. It's not all about the twitching it&#…