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Showing posts with the label Hunk

Yet another Lego Game...

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Back once again for the renegade master, D4 damager, power to the people.
Back once again for the renegade master, D4 damager, with the ill behavior.

More Lego games... YAWN... Break blocks,build blocks, play through it all again to get all the secrets. Its the same thing over and over, boring innit!

WRONG...

Its fucking great You get to break blocks, build blocks, and it's so good, you get to play it twice. AND ton top of all that its fucking Marvel, and so much fucking Marvel anyone and everyone from the Marvel universe is involved, you cant really hope for more...

...Well, maybe Pizza and a Blowjob.

Because we are lazy, we dropped a note out to our ravenous stalker-fans asking for what they think of the game. Here is a few of the things they said:

"Marvel Lego: Yay"
"Lego Marvel is quite the something though"
"I like it alot the grafics are rele good and the lego men are kool"

Love and Fatboy Slim btw,

Richie X

GOTY 2009

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Oooh ooh you have to shoot civilians! Boo hoo! It's all a bit morally challenging. SHUT UP. SHUT UP MW2 PRICKS. Nobody gives a shit anymore because we talking bout MUTHAFUCKING TOFU:



You can shove your DLC, your customisable characters, your Valve Pish, your Fallout 3 stories. It's over. End of day. Shut up shop. Time at the bar. This is it people. Nobody does games with Tofu in them like Capcom.

Review of Darkside Chronicles based on the single above screenshot: Game of the year. Game of the year. End of. Game of the century even! It's got Tofu in it. What more do you want? Tofu. Can I say anymore? No. But I will and that it muthafucking Tofu up in this muthafucking, muthafucka.

Editor of ONM replies! Is smug.

We got a reply!! Which will go down in TGAM history because no one normally replies to our open letters. Here it all is:

Hi Cunzy1 1, or whoever.

Thanks for your email. I always appreciate it when somebody takes the time and effort to contact us, as you have done, regardless of your opinion.
Thank you also for continually buying the magazines. Your loyalty pays our wages and funds our passion.

Thanks for your points and the detail of your email. All criticism is taken on board.
It's kind of flattering to see that you're 'onto us hacks'. It's always nice to hear that people actually read the words and don't just look at the pretty pictures. I look forward to reading further analysis of the magazine, should you see fit to provide it.

Lastly, let me reassert the point that I/we really appreciate the fact that you continually buy the magazine despite thinking it's far from the standards needed to satiate your refined gaming ideals.

Have a great Bank Holiday,

Chan


Yes, …

Play RE4 again?

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Played it on the Gamecube: Check.
Played it on the PS2: Check.
Played it on the Wii: Check.
Played it on the 360... Nope, looks like I have some cheevos to get this time round...

As great as all this is... Where is my RE2 remake?

P.S. This is possibly an April fools photoshop, but I don't think it is that unlikely.

Nintendo are lieheads.

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More Nintendo lies this month with this post over at the "Official" Smash Brothers Dojo. This site is so fake they can't even get the name of the game right. The real name is Super Smash Brothers Brawl. Anyway we brought you the scoop on the real SSBB characters and stages two months ago (check it fool).

But! Whoever is behind the farcical Dojo site is fucking cruel. It's OK to goad the Fire Emblem geeks but picking on Sega fans is a crime against humanity. Don't build their hopes up. I can here the frantic bashing of keyboards already as they plan their Sonic Faninima's shot with SSBB to add to the steaming pile of Sonic Machinima that already exists.

Be advised Dojo webmaster, I'm emailing Google to get you taken off the listings. You've taken this joke too far now.

Whilst we are on the subject of shitty fan made crap, this following public notice is brought to you courtesy of our latest "if you can't beat em join em" tiresome parody …

Omastar Comics #10

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It's the long awaited return of Omastar Comics. In this week's edition, Omastar tries to make us feel better for this.


Yeah. Thanks but no thanks Omastar. You are fired. Get out and leave all those PPUps I've seen you taking from the stationery cupboard.

I'm not being racist or anything but fucking water types.....

Help Wanted

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We have a mission for someone who has more willpower than us, access to technology and a second life account.
Could you please make a music video of Hunk from Resident Evil 2 (-onwards) dancing step for step like Rihanna in her video for Umbrella. It should be called "The real Umbrella"

Be sure to focus a lot on the Umbrella logo on his back okay?

What do you get out of it? Well we have to insist that the credits are at the end but you can go on about all the losers on your AMV forums and how they helped you so much. Hell, you could even use 'lulz' and we might not kick you so swiftly in the chads. Also, if it's any good we'll announce as the game video of the year and that's an accolade you want from the World's Second Greatest Video Game blog of all time.

Oh, also at the point with all the men writhing on the floor could you please do that bit with Tofu, also from Resident Evil 2. Thx