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Showing posts with the label Gears Cake

That Letter to Konami

Three working days is up bitches so I'm posting my letter to Konami here. Then maybe we'll put it on twitter and start a facebook group and maybe make page 416 of the Guardian Guide this weekend until Konami reply to us.


Dear Konami,

We here at the blog That Guy's A Maniac have been debating buying the new Castlevania: Lords of Shadow Game. It has received excellent reviews all around and we are a fan of other Konami games. Silent Hill is excellent. Not so much Metal Gear Solid but each to their own.

Anyway, despite being just over a month old it is already retailing for less than £20 in some places. LESS THAN £20! How is this sustainable? I'm a discerning gamer and the above game price is not even for a second hand copy but I bet the game cost a fair million to make and is already discounted to a half/third of the price. Perhaps a bit longer pride of place in the spotlight would be better for the game? I couldn't see a copy on the shelves of the largest GAME store in…

Brothers to the end: Gears of War 3 April 2011 (Updated)

Here's what we know so far:
New Weapons: Sawed off Double-Barrel Shotgun(awesome damage, slow reload), Pendulum Lancer (kick's like a bitch with a nasty blade for executions)4 Player Online Campaign Co-op: Player 1 is Marcus, 2 is Dom, 3 Baird, 4 ColePulp Fictionesque intertwining plot: Players will command other squad's that merge the plot with Delta.Improved Regional filters for less laggy games: Hallefuckinglujah!Refined Cover systemPossible squad command system (Rainbow 6 stylee???)Female characters/Tits: As our anonymous commenter points out, i neglected to mention that Anya makes an appearance in the trailer and will be a playable (presumably online) character. Whether there will be more tits announced later remains to be seen.Released April 2011: FMLĐ

Gears 3 announcement on Monday?

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Cliff 'don't call me Cliffy B' Blezinski was due on 'Late night with Jimmy Fallon' (yeah we haven't heard of him either) last night to give some details on the latest unannounced offering from Epic Games, however had to cancel at the last minute, instead being replaced by the Canadian Pop singer Justin Bieber (seriously this Jimmy Fallon show is getting more appealing by the second)
According to Cliffy B's Twitter account :
"The truth of the matter is that we wanted to take a couple more days to polish what we're showing, Sorry all, appreciate your patience!"
Will El Cliffster announce Gears of War 3, will it address our previous issues, will they announce some other Epic shooter or as his tweet suggests will he merely expose himself to Jimmy Fallon's audience? (literally dozens!)
All these questions and more will be answered on Monday the 12th April when Cliffarooney is scheduled to appear.


In case you were worried the rumours of Justi…

Gears of War 3, What needs to happen??

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Why is the Escapist so shit?

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In theory it should be good. But it isn't. The articles have interesting titles and are on great parts of the gaming culture but after clicking through there is no real insight there or we felt we could write a better article. Yes, us. Rumours are abound that Stolen pixels will start to get funny soon. Unskippable is a great idea. A really good idea. Someone else should have had that idea. And done something with it. Unfortunately, not what the Escapist have done with it. They update regularly, occassionally before Kotaku but then navel gaze a tad too much (the Editor's letters etc.). Perhaps in a few years they'll have something to be so reflecting about but not yet.

The crossword and zero punctuation are saving graces and I don't have time to do the crossword.

I feel bad for the Escapist. I just can't place what exactly they are doing wrong. Until then I'll keep checking zero punctuation.

Web 3.60

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You know what has been bothering me for a while? Aside from the gradual decline of our ecosystem and natural resources....

Why doesn't the 360 have a web browser? I mean its connected to the net, it has that controller addon-keyboardy-thing. surely just getting Internet Explorer (or even Opera god-forbid) on there, wouldn't be the craziest idea.

360 browser Pros:
1. Online sign ups for clans.
2. Youtube.
3. thatguys.co.uk on your 360.
4. Email with background notifications.
5. Direct links in-game to Gamer sites for 360 content.
6. Achievement points.
(Achievement Unlocked: You looked at porn 10 Gamer Points)
(Achievement Unlocked: You looked at Nintendo's website 0 Gamer points)
7. Online Rankings without going in-game.
8. Settling IMDb arguments.
9. Xbox live bandwidth could be transferred to different sites/hosts. reducing the lag on XBLA.
10. Porn.

Luv n' hugs.

Richie xxx

Time to die snake

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Ok. Enough now. This is a public notice to all game developers currently in the "hype" stage of development. Please stop dropping the "We've got some great AI" bomb during interviews UNLESS. You do have some great AI. FPS are by far the biggest culprits of just throwing that line in there after they've talked about the graphics and the story. A recent playthrough of the Turok demo shows that those cheeky guys at Propaganda games are living up to their name. Check this whole article about it over at IGN.



Fair dos you might thinking. Now, this would all be believable if after about two minutes of play you couldn't sense that all of that talk about AI was absolute bullshit.

Chuff_72, the man allegedly made of pure candles, waxes lyrical:

"WHY can't people who make these things try something a bit different, like, the raptors that attack you, they look cool and move nicely, and look dangerous, but behave like any normal retarded FPS enemy, i.e. the…

Gears of War: the Chainsaw argument.

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I’m getting pretty pissed off with Gears. There was a short lived few weeks after everyone was bored with Halo 3 online and went back to Gears, and it was all good player matches were fun, ranked was still full of arseholes, but that’s to be expected. Now everyone seems to have settled down online and it seems that only Gears of War fans are really playing online. Normally this would be a good thing, however there is still one burning question:

To Chainsaw or not to Chainsaw.


The Chainsaw argument, is an unconventional argument, as in there is no fucking argument. Either it is tolerated or it is not. As far as I can see no-one likes being chainsawed, and quite rightly so it is a little humiliating, but that shouldn’t be grounds for online abuse. These are the main issues I see that people have:

1. No skill involved.

BULLSHIT. Admittedly all it takes is pressing the “B” button, but getting yourself close enough to Chainsaw someone is a feat, usually you have to dodge Snipers use scare tact…

For your Mrs.

Well she's got to do something whilst you amass over 25000 gamerpoints....

So you made it this far. Not bad girl.......

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That's right kiddies it's TGAM birthday soon today it's officially TGAMB-Day-2. Shy Guy is pretty fucking psyched about it and so should you be. As Chief Brian Irons expresses we've not done bad for girls and who would of thought we would make it. We faced discrimination, legal threats, the PS3 launch, Richie's Animephilia, that month when blogger tried to shut us down, public (ish) ridicule from Miss Bea Havin from 1990's magazine Playstation Pro and the WoW AIDs. But we're still standing after all this time. Don't touch that dial and find out how you too can join in with the TGAM one year birthday.
Noogins

In the Front: Dinotopia and the Timestone Pirates
In the rear: New Super Mario Brothers

Postcards from the multiverses

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From the top: 1) Sometimes it is good to preserve these things for the future. 2) Sonic Rush thank you for playing. I took this photo because I was going to do a tirade about how games these days don't thank you for playing. I didn't because I realised that Sonic Rush had been one of the few games I've completed for a long time so there might not be a ase to make. 3) Classic Timesplitters Future Perfect glitch. 4) Sometimes it isn't so good to preserve these things for the future. OUCH Chuff! 9? 5) Lethal accidents in Vice City. 6) The reality of DS gaming in England. 7) Killzone head on floor 8) A sample of the carnage after the first That Guy's con. 9)-12) Remember the Rag Doll years? Every game had to have ragdolls. These shots are from Killzone. 13) G-man got stuck in a teleporter. 14) 'Self portrait' by CJ. 15)Parker and Stone were right! Everyone has it. This was proof that even offline games weren't safe. 16) Gears of War cake by Wendy_72. Wendy_…