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Showing posts with the label Epic Games

Are mobile games any good yet? 2014 edition

Yeah they are not too bad. Still a bit arse-rapey with monetization.

Love versus Zombies 2,

Richie X

The snake eating its own tail

So despite GAME disappearing, our local store has curiously reopened (so that's why the lights were on 24/7 for the whole six months it was closed). A couple of weeks ago my better half was away for a few days so I conspired to waste my money on a game and revel in it until she returned. I could hide the game in the cupboard of things I have to keep in storage because they give out the wrong message to visitors when they visit the house tm. Despite giving up on GAME numerous times I was on a time sensitive mission. I needed a silly game, it had only just come out and I couldn't wait for online delivery.

On an unrelated note here is a play I just penned called Some Things Never Change

Some Things Never Change By Cunzy1 1

A HANDSOME MAN who looks very well hung and charasmatic and could pass for early-mid twenties walks into a GAME store. He wanders around the store with intent and eventually queues up for the till whilst a MORON is trading in 50 copies of Fifa to a GAME WORKER. G…

Game continues to slide...

If you live in or have traveled through London you will have no doubt encountered discarded newspapers on tubes, in the street and in lunch and common rooms across the capital. If you are lucky you might find yourself with the Evening Standard or the Metro to help lunch/train/bus journeys fly by a bit quicker. If you are unlucky it will be City A.M. a boring newspaper about the city and stocks and graphs and FTSEs. However, recently I've not minded flicking through City A.M if only to follow the slip slide of GAME group into liquidation (possibly). In today's City A.M some goon from GAME group was blaming the lack of a new console cycle as a cause of their poor success. Okay, so I know very little about economics and markets and stocks and shares but I'm going to go out on a limb to say that it is pretty retarded to rely on the console cycles in order for the business to stay afloat. In the same week that sales of the Wii have topped 30 million across Europe you'd thi…

Chuff_72 Strikes Again: Infinity Blade 2

Are mobile games any good yet? Are they even proper games? For dinosaur games no definitely not. Chuff_72 continues to look at mobile games and work out if they are any good yet here's his skinny on Infinity Blade 2. Infinity Blade 2, in my opinion, is the sequel to Infinity Blade, and it’s a good one. I'm fairly certain I completed the first game, where *SPOILERS* you defeat the End Boss *END SPOILERS*, however at the start of this one he is not dead, I guess that's standard for an Immortal… I'm not sure why we all thought he was dead, he clearly states he is Immortal a number of times, so yeah, not unexpected. The original ended on a cliff-hanger of sorts, and there was a cool "hidden" ending. This time there is a new random woman, the main guy has gained a name and a voice and then he dies, only to wake up in a metal cave/room, wearing only his pants. While the game does seem to just chuck you in head first apparently there is a whole novella covering t…

Understanding Gamerish- Scores out of ten

Round 2 of understanding gamerish (round one here). Today we take on understanding scores out of ten. Many gamers lack a coherent framework for prolonged discussion of merits and downsides of commercial products. Combined with attention spans shortened by obligate internet use means that reviewers often use a simple one to ten scale, often at the bottom of a review to help the pressed for time gamers decide which game they should chip, rip or steal next. Unfortunately though rather than use the X/X system as a rough indicator of quality many gamers endlessly squabble over scores of their favourite games neglecting to notice that scores are merely one person's take on a game and that the reviewer's employer is probably a more important factor on what score that game gets than actual quality. Furthermore, many assume the one to ten scale to be a normal scale but it's actual more complicated than that.

Here's how the gaming scale works.

0- Not often used at all even for gam…

Second Hand Sales Are Killing The Games Industry

Report just in from our very occassional reporter on the Street. Chuff_72.

I swear this just happened, no exaggeration.

In Game, Central London:

C72 - Hi, I'm looking for a copy of Monster Hunter Tri?
Man1 - *Blank look"
C72 - It's on the Wii.
Man1 - The Wii?
C - Yeah
M1 - Have you looked in the Wii section?
C- Yeah, couldn't see it
M1 - Sorry what was it called
C - Monster Hunter Tri
M1 - Monster Hunter Trial?
C - Tri, T, R, I
M1 - Right, I'll have a look
C - *Waits for a few minutes*
M1 - Sorry can't find it… What was it called again?
C - Monster Hunter Tri?
M1 - *To Man2* Ever heard of The Monster Trial?
M2 - Monster Hunter?
M1 - Trial
M2 - No. Have you have a word with Steve?
M1 - *Bearing in mind they are standing next to me!* No. Turns to me, yeah we can't find it.


Holy. Sh*t. I know we have this all the time but come on dude! At least get the f*cking name right and don't then ask a guy about it in front of me and essentially lie about whether you can find it! I should…

The Stag Do

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Last weekend was my stag do, which was organised by my gay partner, Richie! Unlike your traditional stag do there was not a stripper in sight. Or going out. At all. Instead it was this groom to be and his bezzy mates playing the games that we all grew up with. I couldn't have asked for a better stag do, I laughed until I cried, I drank until it hurt and we had one last gaming session with all my Slads in one (well, two rooms). Sadly on Sunday I realised this would probably be the last time we'd all be together with nothing but time for playing the games that we cut our teeth on. But enough of the gay stuff! AWARDS TIME!
Group Awards. CLICK FOR BIG IMAGE. This will mean very little if you weren't there.

Some of the games that came out: Quake 2, Mashed, Mario Kart, Boom Blox, Geometry Wars, Resident Evil 5, Timesplitters 2, Puzzle Fighter, Blazblue, Street Fighter IV, Soul Calibur, Pod Racer, Red Faction Guerilla, Wii Sports, Army of Two and even a spot of doorsies. The weeke…

Gears 3 announcement on Monday?

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Cliff 'don't call me Cliffy B' Blezinski was due on 'Late night with Jimmy Fallon' (yeah we haven't heard of him either) last night to give some details on the latest unannounced offering from Epic Games, however had to cancel at the last minute, instead being replaced by the Canadian Pop singer Justin Bieber (seriously this Jimmy Fallon show is getting more appealing by the second)
According to Cliffy B's Twitter account :
"The truth of the matter is that we wanted to take a couple more days to polish what we're showing, Sorry all, appreciate your patience!"
Will El Cliffster announce Gears of War 3, will it address our previous issues, will they announce some other Epic shooter or as his tweet suggests will he merely expose himself to Jimmy Fallon's audience? (literally dozens!)
All these questions and more will be answered on Monday the 12th April when Cliffarooney is scheduled to appear.


In case you were worried the rumours of Justi…