Posts

Showing posts with the label CG Boobies

The Ideas Factory

Image
We're full of good ideas but lack the skill and will to see them to fruition. We're so charitable though, we're giving these away for free! If you're one of the 140,000 people who make video game videos and other video game content on the Internet, please make one of these. We don't want any credit beside the credit line (c) Thatguysamaniac, www.thatguys.co.uk all rights reserved.  1) The Hunk Umbrella GMV. Make it happen people, it's been six years already . Nobody wants to see your Final Fantasy videos. This is that the people want. 2) Capcom Cam. Like candid camera but with Capcom instead. This idea requires quite a big budget but should be a spoof current affairs show with only female panelists and talking heads. At the end of every show, they find out that the cameras have only been filming them above their knees and below their face.  Then Kenzo Tsujimoto pops up and says "Congratulations! You're on Capcom camera". Guaranteed hit

Sin and Punishment Do You Want Me To Call You A Cab?

Image
We recently picked up Sin & Punishment Successor to the Stars, Star Rod Sky Pirates Knights. Surprisingly, despite 3 years of rave reviews and fond reflections by everyone who ever played it, it is rather good. When we get a new game, we have a ritual. We pour over the instruction book first, reading the "plot" bit (which is still the place where most games actually describe the context of the world you're about to visit). Weirdly, the above image is in the instruction booklet illustrating the biography of Kachi one of the two playable characters. It appears she's hurriedly getting dressed, bra is out, one boot on. Fine. Maybe she's a ditsy character and her thing is always being late or something? We've not yet played through the whole game yet but this doesn't seem to be her deal.   It's just a weird image to use isn't it? I mean yes, please let us perve over the female characters at our own leisure just don't start the misogyny

Operation Boobfall

Image
As we mentioned in this post we've finally acquired all of the Operation Rainfall titles for the Nintendo Wii and we're proud of it. Thanks again to all the people who badgered Ninty to localise these titles. We've spent hundreds of hours on Xenoblade Chronicles , tens on the Last Story and fractions on Pandora's Tower . Nonetheless we're now in a position to bring you the most important information about these innovative titles that caused a mini renaissance in JRPGs. That was until nobody bought them. That question, which we bring to you now, uncut and unedited, free from the chains of 'the man' who keeps the video games press subdued and gagged. That question, which we're about to ask and then answer is: What are the tit physics like in the Operation Rainfall titles? We know. Finally right? Each of the games being a JRPG of sorts, Pandora's Tower is more of an action adventure if you insist on using nonsensical genre terms like that, f

Uh oh, new level of porn achieved!

Image
Just how long before the porn industry gets ahold of this technology Love and dear god what am I printing, Richie X

Moetry in Potion

Image
Last time we were all gushy over five Wii games that have re-ignited our passion for games. Today we pick up that blog post, flip her over only to see the puss filled and warty fissures caused by the ingrowing hairs that is average Wiiware games. Just in case you've been a fanboy of other formats up until this second, Wiiware is the Nintendo Wii's downloadable game service. It is a real mixed bag. There are gems and they are the likes of Lit, Maboshi's Arcade, Jet Rockett, Final Fantasy: Subtitle subtitle, Nyx's Quest, Sword and Soldiers, Lost Winds 1 and 2, World of Goo, Art of Balance ... wow now that we start to list them there's quite a few good 'uns and many that put bigger box release games to shame. TO SHAME WITH YOU.  The problem in the past has been that Nintendo (Europe at least) has been fickle in the extreme. The ficklest in fact with allowing players to try Wiiware demos before they buy. Sometimes NoE releasing a dribble of Wiiware demos. S

Darkstalkers 4 rumoured

Image
...or should I rephrase that... Yet another shallow capcom e-sports game, with little to no extra conten,t bar choosing a fighter and fighting. Yes I know the previous 2D incarnations were nothing more than that. But they will gay it up with no secret characters or at least no challenge to unlock them, of course with big announcements of all of them so there is no surprise. But for the love of god add some extra modes in, a Story mode at the very least! Though on the upside, Morrigans 3D bouncing boobs and cameltoe, woop! Love and why not Killer instinct vs Darkstalkers, Richie X

Catherine EU release date

Image
Sexy-charged game Catherine has been hyped over the pond and beyond, but the EU have yet to get an actual confirmation on its release. Provisionally a few distributors have tagged this as December 2011, which is not unreasonable, with only its sub-risqué subject matter delaying (or perhaps even cancelling) its release. Catherine is set around a dude and his obsession with a girl surprisingly called Catherine and Katherine. Much of the sexyness of the game can be peeled back to a platform puzzler set in the protagonists guilty dreams. You know what? I'm just going to stop there, that is fucking cool. I know you can call it sleazy but c'mon my previous sentence... That's an original concept I'm playing it, Fuck all you nay-sayers saying it's for pervs. FUCK YOU. This game is worthy of my time, deal-with-it! Love and Guilty dreams about a game. Richie X

NoA: DoA

Image
I only recently found out about Project Rainfall from that homo-du-jour Jayjay-Fahid Sulley, editor of a little website called videolamer we used to write for. Turns out Nintendo of America hates JRPGs. With a passion. Amazingly, there are currently no plans to release The Last Story , Xenoblade Chronicles and some other emo game in the United States of America. Crazy news huh? I thought Europe had it bad but Another Code R and the awesome Disaster Day of Crisis didn't get stateside either. I guess it's because Nintendo don't want people playing the old Wiis with Wii-U around the corner. God forbid people keep buying games for one of the best selling consoles of all time. That would be insanity. Can't wait for this crap though. Give me a poorly controlled generic cockney simulator over some crappy japanese games anytime you muggy bint.

All Kinds of Wrong

According to this authentic looking website , a study by Doritos woman play computer games just as much as men. Some even prefer it to sex. But here's the best part: Worryingly, one in five even admitted to regularly gaming in bed. Shit. This could mean the end of the species. The mail also has the story but recently has changed "a shocking 49 per cent of women confess that they too are addicted to Internet games". to "a surprising.....". All around it is a fairly silly study and from the looks of it it is equating 'spend more time' to 'prefers'. In which case I 'prefer' waiting for the most unreliable bus in London to sex. These two media outlets also insinuate that it is fine for men to waste their life playing video games but not women. We've been trying to find the survey but it appears to involve having to go on some promotional facebook thing.

That Guy's Interviews: Elizabeth from Bioshock Infinite

Image
We've managed to scoop another exclusive, this time we interview Elizabeth from the upcoming game Bioshock Infinite. TG: Congratulations on getting cast to play Elizabeth in this award winning franchise. Bioshock Infinite takes the series to the skies. Was working with heights a problem for you? E: Oh god. ONE OF MY EYES IS BIGGER THAN MY MOUTH. Where is my stomach supposed to be? Of fuck, I don't have a stomach. Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit TG: Was it difficult playing a 20 year old character (Elizabeth's real age is 12)? E: I can't breathe. I can't breathe. My head is as wide as my waist. Who made me like this? Why is my neck so long? {Elizabeth begins to hyperventilate}. TG: Now that you've been cast a a female character in a PC game are you looking forward to people uploading drawings of you having sex with various people and things? Including possibly that woman from Half Life 2? E: Ppplease. Kill. Me? TG: Tell us about that awful fringe you were sport

Dick and Shoes... 3 years later

Richie pointed me in the direction of this Wall Street Journal articl e (via a pretty piss poor editorial on the article at ripten). Now we were all geared up for writing a rebuttal but actually we did that over three years ago . Turns out that Kay Hymowitz has gone up in the world from turning trashy poorly researched diatribe on Dallasnews into a book called Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men Into Boys. Sadly, she didn't really use the time for any rewrites or even to update the references. If she can't be bothered then neither can we so Kay if you are reading this here's our tops tips to you getting a clue: 1) Read Replay A History of Video Games by Tristan Donovan and you'll realise that your trendy mac which you use to google yourself on as is virtually every piece of software you use is a product of gaming. Surely the hypocrisy of you using these technologies to disseminate your moronic ideas isn't lost on you? 2) Three years ago we'd alread

If I'm Gonna Stare At Something For Hours On End It Might As Well Be A Woman's Ass

Image
Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuullllllllshit . I call bullshit on this oft quoted excuse for men playing as female characters. Because in most games you rarely look at your character, you're focused on the environment, stuff and things. Also, depending on how you associate with your various avatars it's kinda creepy to perve on the character that you are playing. SO here's the reasons why, given a choice I'll probably play as a female character. ITS ALL ABOUT ME HOLMES. Male Characters Are Boring. Dull, dull, dull. Chinned stubbly affairs driven by revenge or sometimes sheer gruffness. The mind numbing you-aren't-kidding-anyone shit that leaves their mouth, normally with a voice like a 40 a day batman with an acute throat infection, is nothing any man has ever knowingly uttered apart from actors in exciting action films with awful plots. More often than not they are the default character too. The guy will have the standard punch and the standard gun.

Resident Evil 3DS thing. Will it have Tits?

Image
Yes. Good. We heard rumours that Capcom was ditching the gratuitous tits shots in upcoming games. PUT THAT RUMOUR TO BED.

You don't want to know what I googled to find it though

Image
You gotta love the rabbids. They represent that idiotic, goofy childishness that used to be the heart blood of gaming on the NES and Mega Drive. This should be the last sexy image on TGAM for a while now.

Metal Gear Solid 4

Image
We're less angry today but we spent yesterday evening watching cutscenes from Metal Gear Solid 4 which made us angry again. Let me explain. Back when I wrote this post I did a lot of research into the top rated games for each platform. Obviously for two of the consoles this was a bit of a task. For the PS3 it was much easier due to the paucity of quality exclusive games on the platform but I kept seeing Metal Gear Solid 4 come up again and again. I was concious that we might get some backlash from people arguing that MGS 4 should have been on the PS3 list but then remembered that Duffin and Richie haven't played it. So that accounts for 100% of our readership. My relationship with Metal Gear Solid began at the PlayStation one and ended with watching my brother play through 2. So I decided last night to ruin a game I was unlikely to play by watching a couple of cutscenes. At the time MGS4 came out I looked at it and thought it was pretty much going to be more of the same but I&

Who's worse?

Image
We strive against gender inequality in games and at the same time for more freedom of choice and to be treated with respect as adults who heathily enjoy video games. But then as soon as a game gives us the freedom to take screenshots anywhere we take images like this. Part of us wishes that we were uploading this with irony. Another part of us is instantly going to bookmark this page under 'email support'. On second thoughts our partners might need email support one day. Is it worse to try and hide this from our loved ones? If I'm going to do it anyway would you preffer to find it under "Crystal Chronicles Selkie sexy look"? Answers in the comments. Who's worse, the people who code and animate this stuff? Or the people who take these screenshots and upload them to a blog? because frankly, there's no innocently discovering that you could do this. At some point we made the concious decision to take these shots. Of course now that I'm writing this post I

A Moment For Gaming Literature

Image
Books innit? In between writing about games, listening almost exclusively to gaming soundtracks and reading about games on the Internet we occasionally find the time to actually play some games. Rarer still, we find time to pick up a game related book and give it a bloody good read and now is a good a time as any to be reading about games. This time five years ago, you'd be hard pressed to find any gaming based literature in your local book shop. Now, for the discerning reader, it is hard not get buried by it. First up, we've been reading The Second Life Herald: the virtual tabloid that witnessed the dawn of the metaverse by Peter Ludlow and Mark Wallace. This book is 3 years old now but charts the early days of the growth of things like The Sims Online and Second Life and where interesting stuff happens with emergent behaviours in games. If you completely missed this chunk of gaming history but want to know more about why people bother with second life, what the Upskirt Museum

Machoke's tits

Image
Monday morning, day off work, belly full of fire to write the shit out of video games. Alternatively, we could blog about Machoke's tits* Machoke and the Tits In the Pokemon Soul Silver/ Heart Gold sprite for Machoke, it appears there are some breasts. This is fine for female Machoke but it has been observed in the field on males. We think they are supposed to be pectoral muscles but they are a bit too bulgy and there is a definite cleavage. Also, they muffin-top over Machoke's belt suggesting they are more malleable like breasts than firm like muscles. Reasons for the Wabs on Machoke. There are a number of overlapping hypotheses about the appearance of bresticles on Machoke in Pokemon Soul Silver. Outside of deviant art Machoke has not had front shirt potatoes anywhere near so pendulous since the original Gold and Silver. You will notice that in the original Silver and Gold sprite there was even a glimpse of neathage, not observable in the new sprite. Perhaps, this new sprite

Resident Evil Afterlife

Image
We're going to break one of our cardinal rules by recognising that Resident Evil Movies exist. Without fail they have all dissapointed (with the exception of does-it-really-count? Resident Evil 4D thing-a-ma-bob). Anyway, according to Capcom Urethra the producer of yet another dissapointment has the following to say: "I think if fans look at Resident Evil 5, they will know what is coming and what to expect in the movie" Does this mean we will see Sienna Guillory with mankey tits? We can only hope so. EXPLAINING THE JOKE To get the above tenuous image joke you need to: 1) Be aware that manky was a popular englishism that means gross or disgusting. 2) Have played Resident Evil 5 to the SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERs point where Chris and Nuda pull the gem off of Jill's chest exposing a manky hole in her cleavage. 3) Know that there is a Pokemon called Mankey. Even armed with the above information, expect no more than a silent inside laugh at best.