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Showing posts with the label Barry Burton

THE DEFINITIVE BARRY BURTONS RANKED

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"It's back Barry. It's ruddy back" Said Ron. Yes it's time for the 2019 Barry Burton Rank Off #BBRO where we rank Barry Burtons on a scale from Barried Up To The Hilt to I'll Be The Coat, You Be The Hook Barry. Can't find your favourite Barry on the list? It's a gross oversight from us. We should get fired.

8. Barry is that you Barry?
As seen in: Resident Evil Franchise.
Description: Not all Barry are born equal. We'd rather this Barry just held us and stroked our hair.


7Flesh Barry
As seen in: Resident Evil Franchise.
Description: The Barry that got our gussets gooey all the way back in 1996. That he's this far down in the list goes to show how Barry some of the Barrys are out there! His blood type is O. M. G.


6Gai Den Barry?
As seen in: Resident Evil Franchise.
Description: This Barry is blocky. This Barry is bulky. We've got some ideas about that hunk o junk. We'll give you a clue- BURY IT BARRY. BURY IT. 


5Bangief
As seen in: Resident E…

I remember when we blogged about Resident Evil

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On this day, July 24th 1998 The S.T.A.R.S. team first investigated the mansion...

You gotta fucking love that opening. Real people... Not mo-capped. Got i miss those heady days of the PS1. Sniffle.

Love and dont open THAT door,

Richie X

Loading Bar: London

AKA: MADD

Tucked away in the porniest part of soho in amongst the sleazy strip clubs, exuberant gay bars and depressing peep shows, there lay our nemesis: a pop-up version of  Loading bar. Years ago we came up with the idea of the games themed pub, then some fuckers did it. We just lay here writhing in our own jealousy.

The problem with the Loading bar is that it is miles away from anywhere, in Cornwall. To analogise this via the medium of Final Fantasy VII its like having a major metropolis like Midgar and putting the gaming pub on the island with the city of ancients. Or Zelda: Ocarina of Time... Its like having a major metropolis like Hyrule Castle/Village and having the pub in the Gerudo desert.

In any case they spotted this and decided to put a pop-up version of the bar in London. In a creepily placed mango enthusiasts cafe? The interior was sad, tired and far from the hi-tech branded wonderland we had imagined.There was a counter with some cakes, an A3 sheet with some games them…

E3 That was shit wasn't it?

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We’ve been away and the reason is that we were paralysed by an overwhelming sense of underwhelment. The cause was this year’s E3. Okay, we’ll admit it, we haven’t been the world’s staunchest E3 fans, it’s the time of year that game companies gleefully inform us of what shit we should be eating for the coming year, whether we like it or not. Lesser gaming sites use the occasion to announce all kinds of “exclusives” and “previews” until everyone is bored with it all and all that is left for the next year is the rather tedious exercise of waiting for the games that have been totally spoiled through the year to come out.
Microsoft’s Presentation.
Remember that tosser with the shades from last year arriving on the stage like the unruly, too-cool-for-school but delivers results rebel.

He was back this year still with the shades but it’s clear that he is to Microsoft what Tim Allen is to Disney. He’s now their dancing monkey, their rebel bitch. He ain't cool. They green-lit his motion cont…

Burnout 2

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I bought Burnout 2 for £2 the other day. bargain of the century or what?


Burnout 2 is and was a fantastic game. I don't know anyone who ever played the first Burnout or whether or not it even exists. Burnout 2 hits the sweet spot especially as, being an older game and a family favourite it is steeped in nostalgia, but it is a good game within its own right. Later Burnouts lost the way. Burnout 3 transformed crashing into pure porn but slowed everything down with too many load screens and then Revenge and Dominator seemed to come out almost one after another.

There's still a heartbeat quickening thrill in juggling building up the boost bar and trying not to crash. Do you play like a pussy and just tentatively jut in and out of driving in the opposite lane? Or do you risk it all for a biscuit by driving down the middle of the opposing lane? Around a blind corner. Whilst drifting. Just the thrill of dodging the traffic as it goes about its business makes games like Stuntman Ignitio…

In Memorandum...

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To those of use we lost 12 years ago to this day during that “incident” in that “mansion” just outside Raccoon city.
To the brave souls of S.T.A.R.S. Alpha and Bravo teams we lost; May we never forget you!

Love and dearly (re)departed fake specialist police teams,
Richie X