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Showing posts with the label Aeris Biff

TGAM top 50 ultimate TGAM top games best list of best games of all time ever: Number 50

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So, as promised, here it is. No pussying around we're going straight in there without so much as a thought for preheating the oven. Readers have voted in their droves* So what is the first game in the TGAM top 50 ultimate TGAM top games best list of best games of all time ever? Which game did we feel deserved recognition but not too many playthroughs? Which game did we think was better than number 51 but not quite as good as number 49? Well kids, it's....it's Biohazard 4D-Executer.

That's right, we're going there. So superior is our list to all out competitors, the first one on the list of TGAM top 50 ultimate TGAM top games best list of best games of all time ever isn't even a fucking game. That's right we're going there. It's a film thing. The whole thing is on Youtube so make sure you watch it before complaining.
This ""game"" makes the list because we're sick of EDGE, IGN and Joystiq including fucking Myst and the seque…

Next week on TGAM

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In order to belatedly celebrate our 2nd birthday and Capcom's 25th birthday and because there is nothing happening in games at all we're going to sell out like IGN and do TGAM top 25 no a top 50 ultimate TGAM top games best list of best games of all time ever. To shake up the usual format we're going to start at number 50 and work our way through until we get to number 1. Then we're going to stop and do other posts.

Given our recent activity levels this will probably take 38 years because we'll lose enthusiasm after number 47.

So don't just sit around wanking over big brother for the next 38 years. Instead start pointless forum posts hypothesising about who is going to be number 11. Write a letter to EDGE when we include Final Fantasy XI but not VI or VII! Try to convince us to put any Zelda or Metroid* games in the list. You even have your chance to vote** for the top ten in this list so try to get all those underated multimillion selling games like Ico and th…

Ode to medipack (Vagina)*

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Medipack or is it Medi-pack?
You make no sense
How do you work?
You save my life often but you could never work in real life

Medipack or is it Medi-Pack?
Sometimes you have a red cross
Sometimes green
Sometimes you come in three sizes but surely it would be better for everyone if you just came in large size

Medipack or is it Medi-Pack?
Sometimes you are a potion
Sometimes you are a herb
Sometimes you are a food stuff like milk or apples

Medipack what is in you to give life?
To cure all wounds by merely standing on you
Or sometimes going into the inventory and selecting "use"
Is it majicks?
I think it is.



*In my travels in Hoenn I wrote this ode as a sister ode to the classic An Ode to Spuddy. I was inspired by studying the Clamperl on Route 124.

Pushing the PC gaming boundaries

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The BBC has this nice little article about how PCs are better at games than consoles or some such. I don't really know as I haven't fully read it as my attention span only lasts for a paragraph before I'm bored. But I got the gist.


All I do know is that whatever you may think about PCs, the people that play them are GEEKS. Nerdo-rama. They wear big rimmed glasses and have braces. They don't have sex either. They just beat off over video game characters who sex with other dead video game characters (see above Fahrenheit).

Some guy from Nvidia says:

"It's absolute nonsense to think that consoles are at the cutting edge,"

Yeah but only fucking nerds buy your shitty graphics cards and that clearly isn't enough. That's why you put those little leaflets in every single one of Future Publishing's console oriented magazines going on and on about how Nvidia is the future and good. BTW Nvidia, those leaflets are shit. Purely because PC games are mostly bo…

Still Homophobes

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You may remember last week I was disgusted with the way that Kotaku just can't handle comments from a woman and my account was banned. It appears that my appeal to the masses was heard and my account has been sort of reinstated [see above] but I still can't comment I can only clip articles and follow friends.

This is the suxxor because:

1) Following friends on Kotaku is like swapping spit in an HIV clinique. Just because you've got it doesn't mean you should only hang out with others who do. In fact you should do the opposite.
2) Clipping articles is not something that I would ever do. The only thing I want to do is to tell the Brian who lives in Japan to shut up about his boring life and give us more games news. I hate it when site administrators rise above their stations. Would you like it if the monkey stopped mid dance and started to give us a comment on how it is to be a monkey forced to dance to a grind box day in day out? No! Dance you fucking dance monkey.

In…

Resident Evil: Wnakery

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There comes a time in every blogs life, when all the rantings, drivel, and fantasies actually pay off!

You remember “Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within”, do you remember the feeling you felt when it was first coming out, when you though it was going to be everything “Final Fantasy: Advent Children” was?

Well it’s that time again except it not Squeenix its… CAPCOM, and instead of Final fantasy it’s

RESIDENT FUCKING EVIL
Now I know that Resident evil has not had the best track record at the cinema, with that pissy trilogy, of defiled characters, and tainted plotlines. But this time Sony (You better not pull a PS3 on this one, you fucks) and Capcom are copulating in the hope of conceiving a CG Movie. Of Resident evil proportions

Catch all the news here.

What we want to see in Biohazard: Degeneration or we will actually start to MDK people starting with whoever is the nearest. This is the definitive list any slight variation and it's curtains for everyone.

1) Jill, Chris, Claire, Rebecca…

Day note: FINE! I'll do everything my fucking self then!

To:1 1
From: "Type-0"

Wow! This new set up is very interesting Cunzy1 1. Your day note was quite boring you should really make an effort to learn japanese or some shit. I'm not doing the Wii jokes again!

Anyway, here at TGAM Towers everything is great. We still have the same asinine commentors and a whole bunch of posts from the puerile to the interesting.

What you missed (because it is possible to miss stuff that is posted on a website if you can't detract your eyes from the puke inducing colour scheme):

Bewbs
Bewbs
Bewbs
Oh hawt bewbs
Bewbs
Lol Bewbs and Biff

The problem with Fan Fictions, Fan art, Fan subs and dubs and Fan videos summed up with one image

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Some of you might say that there is a lot wrong with ffics, fsubs, fdubs, fvideos and fart but all in all I don't hate it all. I do hate Linkin Park ruining an otherwise lovely, well put together machinima, GMV or AMV or whatever the fuck Wikipedia tells you you should be calling your creative output. However, the whole enterprise is often completely ruined by one little thing and the picture below sums it all up completely.


Here is a nice image, a nice concept, some good art, nice composing, good perspective, nice lighting, it ties in with the storyline, it's dramatic, nicely rendered oh yeah but DON'T FORGET TO PUT A SNIPPET OF AERIS BIFF IN. Oh and now you've gone and ruined it for everyone.
So here is another public service notice to the thousands, if not millions of gamers and gamer fans hemorrhaging content onto the internet.

DEAR GEEK
OTHER PEOPLE WOULD TAKE YOU A SMIDGE MORE SERIOUSLY IF YOU WEREN'T SO PREOCCUPIED WITH RAPE, TITS, UPSKIRTS, OMINOUS BULGES a…