Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Lakeview Cabin collection

Hey guys!

Do you want a game that makes you feel:

  • Nostalgic
  • Scared
  • Inadequate
Then Lakeview cabin collection is for you!

Lake view Cabin collection is a fun re-release of an older browser game. It is entirely 2D and with little pixel-arty graphics. 

It's very simple, straightforward controls and wandering about just allows you to discover fun little Easter eggs in the game, picking up and throwing backpacks makes items fall out, falling off high platforms causes your character to lose a leg, which you can then use as a weapon, there is even pixel orgies to set up!

But it doesn't end there in your little world of pounding pixelized six packs and hitting pixelized bongs (which make the screen/controls all jankey) there are terrifying copyright infringing bad guys determined to come hunt you down and turn your characters in to gory piles of pixelized flesh, bone and sinew. In order to defeat/run away from these guys you are given the task of setting up traps and collecting weapons in a not-so-linear little world.

And it's hard... Like really hard, you will die, and you will die a lot, which really you know... When you are playing a glorified flash game which is all almost cutesy pixel arty... its a little patronising. And I don't mean to sound patronising, Lakeview cabin collection nails a retro pixel art world, it even start with a pixelly VHS going into a machine! Its spot on, really cool stuff. But those pixel bad guys are scarier than Devil May Cry: Dante must Die bosses!

Anyways, game is great, go spend some of your hard-earned on it, then let it fester in your steam library for a couple of years, then play it.

Love and you want me to put my pixels where?

Richie X

Saturday, April 22, 2017

One Piece Pirate Warriors 3: A game I have played

So I jumped straight in at number 3 in this series, mainly because that is all Steam has, missing out on 1 and 2, though I doubt i have missed any complex plot devices.

This game is a re-skinned version of dynasty warriors, with one piece characters. and is a fine example of the sum of the parts being greater than the whole. Its really great to play the faithfully recreated One Piece characters in little skirmishes which loosely follows the plot of the extremely long running anime. And on top of that some fun RPG elements to level up and fiddle with the stats of the characters, and the perverse pleasure of the free mode allowing you to use any characters in any of the any of the story events.

There is a nice rating system at the end to which I am ever so proud to have spelled out the word "Ass"

Also: Boobies!!

Love and what more do you need from a game?

Richie X

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

A guide to making Pokémon more Boring

Dear God Richie, where have you been?

 - Yeah it's been ages since I posted but I can definitely say that a "significant percentage of my time has been spent on SoSing"

What is SoSing?, you ask fervently, surely something capable of taking up a "significant percentage of your time" must be amazing?

Well in in short, it is the means by where to find certain types of Pokémon and capture them with higher stats, or if you are luckier find them in a different colour (shiny).

Since completing Sun/Moon I jumped straight into this, forget actual end game stuff like battle tree, I want to catch me some shinys! I accidentally started SoSing happening upon a magicarp, and thinking to myself, why not, everyone else has a cheaty "free" Red Gyrados I'll aim to get  this one done for realsies, with a gold magicarp and all:

Job done! All it took was setting up a "chain" where by you set up the circumstances where by a Pokémon will call a friend to it's aid, and you just sit there repeatedly killing off its mates until you find your favourable pokémon. To catch this golden magicarp took roughly two days, and I killed off around 120 magicarps for it too.

So my next "project" was Project: Muk, a new forme found in Alola and possible trhe most "proud" pokémon there is:

This one took a lot longer, after a false start where I learned hard the pitfalls of losing focus (falling asleep) when SoSing and just straight out killing the main dude before he call a buddy, ending a 200ish long chain, I then started it up again and got it after another 100ish chain. Boring and rubbish, but I ended up with a viable and pretty pokemon.

So where next! I want my Shiny Dragonite!  off i toddled with my fishing rod, repeatedly fishing for a Dratini, which as normal stands at a 1 in 100 chance of appearing, however I found that if you go to a special fishing spot you can reduce this to a 1 in 10 chance, but you have to run out and in of the nearby area...

After 150 dragonites I got this guy:

Which just was not good for me, the nature "Lax" just did not inspire me so back to the pond, fishing rod and little walks back and forth to "Special pools" and after a whopping 450 dragonites it got this guy:

Again just not good enough, the stats were all in the wrong places, so 3rd time lucky...

another 980 dragonites later! nearly 1600 dragonites killed i get this little guy! I'm reasonably happy with him.

SoSing is soul breaking you spend so long getting to know the moves of the level ranges of all the 'mons that come from them, and it all becomes its own little (terrible) meta-game. Everyone loves a shiny, but guys, I swear after I got out of that last chain of dragonites, I felt elated and free. I had forgotten about the rest of the game I flew to random towns, harvested some berries, generally felt like I had resurfaced back into normal society again, after a prolonged stint with my captors, the Dragonites.  It's really dull, it is the least interesting thing to do in pokémon... But, but, but SHINIES!

Yeah I realise that the pictures are terrible, but could be worse we could just be ripping them from Kotaku, like we used to do in the old days.

Love and for realsies, red Gyrados's

Richie X