Pokken Tournament How do you get one of those accent things on the e?

NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES! Cunzy1 1 FINALLY joins the eighth generation of video game consoles! I'd been waiting for the XbOne, PS4 and Wii U to finally build up enough of a 'must-have' list of software to finally make the frankly-still-ridiculous cost of a new console worth it whilst working through the huge backlog of great older generation video games LEGO & Pokémon games.

With the release of Pokkén Tournament, the time was right to finally pick up a Wii U and I've spent the variably weathered Easter in a darkened room catching up with three and a bit years of software. Initial impressions? Much like the Wii, interesting uses of the ''''whacky''' tech seems to have gone out of the window after earlier experiments like Nintendo Land and ZombiU. For example, Super Smash Brothers use of the second screen is virtually non existent and Pokkén Tournament doesn't use it at all apart from in the borked couch-vs mode. At the other end, Splatoon and ZombiU can't be played without both screens for those times when the Great British Wank Off takes priority on the big TV. So, it's a Nintendo console then destined to join the GBA wireless communicator, the Pokéwalker, GameCube Microphone and the WiiSpeak in the big pile of proprietry plastic in a few years. 

Because why would you want to evolve your Pikachu for that competitive fighting edge in a tournament for money?
So whatsthisaboutPokkén Tournament then? It's okay I guess. I've not really played many arena fighters as they tend to be NarutoBall themed and that shit is for children, unlike the Pokémon franchise which is definitely NOT JUST FOR KIDS so I don't know how it holds up to the genre standards. Battling is pretty pacy and there are options. Spades of options. Support Poke.. look I'm gonna stop doing the proper accented e okay... Support Pokemon can be selected both between three quick options of support pairs and then between each in a pair between rounds and then there's the option of choosing between 'cheers' you receive between rounds which vary depending if you win or lose. There's a strategy to conserving meter, called Synergy Burst, as a use of it can clinch a first round win but then will need filling up in the second round. Fighting switches between dual and field phases, offering advantages to pokemon that are zoning specialists and those that hit hard up close. 

I've put about 20 hours into it so far, so I think I'm enjoying it but I'd break down my 'issues' into three easy to digest bullet point. 

Proof I beat story mode and that I am a woman. 
BULLET POINT The single player mode is as easy as your mother on a Friday night at 'Spoons. In over 120 battles I think I dropped 8 games and about twice as many rounds. Maybe I'm just very very good at the game and there are a lot of systems and match ups to learn for those who aren't innate talents like we are but the balance seems to be slightly in favour of ease rather than challenge and I've still only levelled up one character to level 70 out of a hundred. I doubt I'll do the other 15 characters up to level 100. 

NUMBER B Characters. With over 720 of the fuckers to choose from it seems very Mario Kart to have a quarter of the roster as some flavour of Mewtwo or Pikachu and a large overlap with the Super Smash Brothers cast. Off the beaten track characters like Chandelure and Braixen are interesting choices and hopefully they'll be a couple of more characters in the pipeline HOW ABOUT A SINGLE ROCK TYPE NINTENDO?

In case you didn't know, yes. It's a Japanese game. 

THREE The last complaint is very similar to Richie's complaints about Marvel vs Capcom 3, now lost to the depths of our 10 year old archives, in that you've got the character licensing, you've got the tech and instead of a finally semi-decent storyline in 20 years of Pokemon games, the 'story' if you can it that is bare bones. Okay so it's not another fucking journey but it's a wasted opportunity, not quite as wasted as MvC but up there. They don't even bother to explain why half the world seems to own 'Legendary' Pokemon Suicine. Still it's better that than ending up with Metal Pikachu, Dr Pikachu, Toon Pikachu and the like. 

Final thoughts- 3 Pikas, 4 Chus and 2.5 Pikachus that is until the online community work out the exploits and our ageing hands get blown up every second, then take of 2 Pikas and half a Chu. 


TEN YEARS MOTHER FUCKERS X X

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