Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Final Fantasy VIII: The Re-Re-Revenge


So its back again a special Remuxed HD version on Steam. This will be the 3rd time I have "Bought" the game: Way back in the heady days of 1999 I went into a Virgin Megastore, I walked past the new fangled DVD's, muttered under my breath, "As if these will catch on". I carried on through the Videos, the VHS's the plethora of massive series Box Sets. I made my way to the escalator and Up to the CD's, rows upon rows of CD's, determining what area was what genre by the clothing of the figures flicking through them. Again another escalator, walking through the "Specialist" music section, folk, classical and Pan Pipes. To the darkened corner of the "Games Area" The most acne ridden of all the Virgin Megastore's clerks, reside here, disgruntled yet proud, with the word Virgin aptly stamped across their chest. There I saw FFVIII for the PC. Yes PC, and I genuinely bought it for the PC. My beloved PS1 had packed in no more than a few months beforehand actually whilst playing FFVII. This was my first foray into PC mainstream gaming. 180 hours later, 80 of which were undoubtedly spent playing the card game, that fucking song is ingrained on my soul, its written on my DNA.
Unfortunately due to me being a dick, and spending my life playing the card game, I never completed the gamer itself. I, in fact, lost the game file tragically in the great hard drive crash of 2000, a sorrowful instance, on a par with certain other Painful moments in gaming.
Then in a wonderful show of affection a few years later, the PS1 version was bought for me by a rag-tag bunch of explorers AKA "the Hetro 7" and to which I was finally able to complete the game and ignored the card game.
However I did break it a little, there is a bit where Rinoa Fucks off, and you can level your doods to astronomical levels, and essentially when she gets back, she is like level 27 where everyone else is capped at 100 which makes her defunct and useless even with an OP Limit break.
And now it's back, back in my life. I have dicked about with it enough, to realist 3 things:

  • The character models have not been improved
  • The pre-rendered backgrounds are very dated and pixelly.
  • The music is still midi!

I mean a re-release could be given a bit a love, a wee bit of prettying up, and the music could have easily been replaced with the MP3's from the soundtrack.

So far the only improvements I can see is the resolution on the models has been upped making them more obvious against the archaic backgrounds. And the FMV's have been upped a bit too, still quite jarring transitions though...

Love and Edea and Cid, do it Angelo style

Richie X

Monday, December 09, 2013

Spying on gamers: Alcamoth Citizen says Special

The unreliable Eurogamer has the news. Spies from various shadowy organisations which may or may not exist, may or may not have been watching you cyber in Animal Crossing. They won't catch us though, this has been on our radar for months thanks to our in-game sources.

Remember people, turn to the skies....

Monday, December 02, 2013

NOT NEWS: GAME Stores still shit

We've burned out bridges with GAME. We tried but they've been failing us as consumers for the last half decade. Probably longer if we could be bothered to dredge through the archives. However, I happened to pop in to one today just to check. One in central London, the capital city of the United States of England. Here's what I saw:


  • The store is now divided in half. One half if PS4, the other half is Xbone. I didn't spot the Wii games and the 3DS section only had five different new games and a pre-owned section chock full of absolute shite shovelware. 
  • This last week neither the PS4 or the Xbone demo terminals have been working. Great showcase of that expensive new exciting next generation right?
  • No new copies of GTA V. Pre-owned only. In the ten minutes I was there two people asked for it one didn't want pre-owned and the other one begrudgingly bought one. But it is 3 months old now so it's basically a legacy game. Why would they sell it. 
  • No Xbones in stock and "no idea" when they'd have them in again is the helpful advice one till chimp gave a no doubt satisfied customer. Which is hilarious. Various spokespeople for the chain have been whinging about how a new hardware generation is needed over the last three years. Just over a week after launch they can't fulfil customer demand. 
  • A couple asking which was worth a purchase a Xbone or a PS4 and the till chimp gave them a one word answer "PS4" and walked off. Probably nothing to do with them not having any Xbones but once again that extensive customer service training coming into play. 
So hilarious GAME. You're a fucking failure as a business. You must be a front for money laundering or perhaps a porn ring. The next time you go under we sincerely hope that publishers hold you down until you stop struggling. Just to be sure.