Turns out that running infinitely is fun times.
DINOSAUR ALERT. Looks shit, right? A budget SNES game. This is Punch Quest, it’s fucking great.
It’s an “infinite running” game, which is essentially a platformer where you don’t have to worry about pressing “right” on the d-pad, because we don’t have time for that shit anymore, we’re busy people. In an incredible twist on the formula you get to move a smidgen to the right when you punch, this is the major selling point of the game, and it’s a good one.
The small amount of movement they allow you, along with an innovative thing called a “Jump” button means you end up with a sweet cross between the running and the platforming genres, essentially removing the roadblocks that platformers usually have on the iPhone, like having to press one button to move and one to jump at the same time.
There are a ton of unlockables, yes that includes hats, is that still a “thing”? Just looked on SITE NAME REDACTED and I see that their top story is that Valve are retiring some hats. Jesus. There are more and better things too, like combos and special powers. Getting these lets you complete Quests, which then gives you more coinage to spend on fucking hats.
Just to bring this all back around and complete the circle of life and what not, I would like to point out that these motherfuckers need to start thumbing in some more graphics, come on guys look at what your class mates are doing (spoilers for next review*):
*Spoiler spoilers. This isn't the next review from Chuff_72.