Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Final Fantasy VIII: The Re-Re-Revenge


So its back again a special Remuxed HD version on Steam. This will be the 3rd time I have "Bought" the game: Way back in the heady days of 1999 I went into a Virgin Megastore, I walked past the new fangled DVD's, muttered under my breath, "As if these will catch on". I carried on through the Videos, the VHS's the plethora of massive series Box Sets. I made my way to the escalator and Up to the CD's, rows upon rows of CD's, determining what area was what genre by the clothing of the figures flicking through them. Again another escalator, walking through the "Specialist" music section, folk, classical and Pan Pipes. To the darkened corner of the "Games Area" The most acne ridden of all the Virgin Megastore's clerks, reside here, disgruntled yet proud, with the word Virgin aptly stamped across their chest. There I saw FFVIII for the PC. Yes PC, and I genuinely bought it for the PC. My beloved PS1 had packed in no more than a few months beforehand actually whilst playing FFVII. This was my first foray into PC mainstream gaming. 180 hours later, 80 of which were undoubtedly spent playing the card game, that fucking song is ingrained on my soul, its written on my DNA.
Unfortunately due to me being a dick, and spending my life playing the card game, I never completed the gamer itself. I, in fact, lost the game file tragically in the great hard drive crash of 2000, a sorrowful instance, on a par with certain other Painful moments in gaming.
Then in a wonderful show of affection a few years later, the PS1 version was bought for me by a rag-tag bunch of explorers AKA "the Hetro 7" and to which I was finally able to complete the game and ignored the card game.
However I did break it a little, there is a bit where Rinoa Fucks off, and you can level your doods to astronomical levels, and essentially when she gets back, she is like level 27 where everyone else is capped at 100 which makes her defunct and useless even with an OP Limit break.
And now it's back, back in my life. I have dicked about with it enough, to realist 3 things:

  • The character models have not been improved
  • The pre-rendered backgrounds are very dated and pixelly.
  • The music is still midi!

I mean a re-release could be given a bit a love, a wee bit of prettying up, and the music could have easily been replaced with the MP3's from the soundtrack.

So far the only improvements I can see is the resolution on the models has been upped making them more obvious against the archaic backgrounds. And the FMV's have been upped a bit too, still quite jarring transitions though...

Love and Edea and Cid, do it Angelo style

Richie X

Monday, December 09, 2013

Spying on gamers: Alcamoth Citizen says Special

The unreliable Eurogamer has the news. Spies from various shadowy organisations which may or may not exist, may or may not have been watching you cyber in Animal Crossing. They won't catch us though, this has been on our radar for months thanks to our in-game sources.

Remember people, turn to the skies....

Monday, December 02, 2013

NOT NEWS: GAME Stores still shit

We've burned out bridges with GAME. We tried but they've been failing us as consumers for the last half decade. Probably longer if we could be bothered to dredge through the archives. However, I happened to pop in to one today just to check. One in central London, the capital city of the United States of England. Here's what I saw:


  • The store is now divided in half. One half if PS4, the other half is Xbone. I didn't spot the Wii games and the 3DS section only had five different new games and a pre-owned section chock full of absolute shite shovelware. 
  • This last week neither the PS4 or the Xbone demo terminals have been working. Great showcase of that expensive new exciting next generation right?
  • No new copies of GTA V. Pre-owned only. In the ten minutes I was there two people asked for it one didn't want pre-owned and the other one begrudgingly bought one. But it is 3 months old now so it's basically a legacy game. Why would they sell it. 
  • No Xbones in stock and "no idea" when they'd have them in again is the helpful advice one till chimp gave a no doubt satisfied customer. Which is hilarious. Various spokespeople for the chain have been whinging about how a new hardware generation is needed over the last three years. Just over a week after launch they can't fulfil customer demand. 
  • A couple asking which was worth a purchase a Xbone or a PS4 and the till chimp gave them a one word answer "PS4" and walked off. Probably nothing to do with them not having any Xbones but once again that extensive customer service training coming into play. 
So hilarious GAME. You're a fucking failure as a business. You must be a front for money laundering or perhaps a porn ring. The next time you go under we sincerely hope that publishers hold you down until you stop struggling. Just to be sure. 

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Review: Pokémon X and Y

Pokémon X and Y have been out for a while now and we're only just writing a review? Well we are well aware that nobody reads this, it's just we felt that the reviews that came out when the game did were just a bit lazy. We can understand why, it must be horrible for an RPG to land on your desk, especially if you're not a fan of a series like Pokémon. Plus, is there any point in a review of such a mega franchise? Unless the series curators massively messed around with the recipe, it's going to sell like hot cakes anyway. Might as well phone that review in (and many did). Job done.

So we're writing this for ourselves more than anything. When the aliens are poring over the remnants of our burned out civilisation maybe a media studies student might pull this review of the charred remains of a Google server somewhere. So we're writing this for us and the alien.

Evolution not revolution is the phrase that hacks might turn to when reviewing a new Pokémon game. We're gonna go in subtle like and suggest that Pokémon X and Y is more of a culmination than evolution. Or revolution. It seems that a lot of the systems that have been toyed with over the last five generations of games have finally found their stride and there's a lot that's in here for the European crowd. 

First things first, the new Pokémon. As it increasingly is the case with these games (what there's more than 150 QQ) it's a mixed bag. Some of those taxonomic gaps have been filled. We know that we've been waiting for a panda, mantis shrimp and barnacle based Pokémon since red and blue and they're finally in here. The candy floss with a face and the Pokémon inspired by a bunch of keys. Well the less said about those the better. What is a nice touch is that the starters seem to be Pokémon via a rather Japanese reading of the animals of farthing wood with a fox (we already had one of those) a frog (there were already two of those) and a hedgehog thing (that isn't sandslash). There's also a new type which may or may not have interesting implications on the 'Pro scene' were the 'Pro scene' to exist (I know a guy who's sister dated a prop Super Smash Bros player). 

There's also mega stones which may or may not be a game changer. At the moment an eclectic mix of Pokémon have special items which allow you to 'evolve' your Pokémon into it's ultimate form for the duration of a battle. No doubt more Pokémon will get mega evolutions down the line (hello DLC. Free DLC we hope but DLC nonetheless). The strategic weigh up is that mega evolved Pokémon get some mad stat boosts, however, they can't hold other items so it'll be interesting to see if mega evolutions break the competitive game in upcoming global tournaments, the last of which we got utterly spanked during.


A Proper MMO
One massive improvement is that this game finally feels like a massively multiplayer game. Previous generations included all kinds of gubbinz and features that worked great in Japan where it's okay to stand on street corners wifiing fellow players (lowlights were the fucking platinum flag and the method of getting Spiritomb in Pokémon Sapphire) but were nigh upon unusable elsewhere where Pokémon tend to actively avoid each other rather than congregate in public. So now, if you're connected to the Internet, the bottom screen is nothing but other players from all over the world. Our game tells us we've had a staggering 41,374 other players whizz along that bottom screen and each one we could have suspended our game to trade with, battle, kill with kindness in the form of O powers or share our trainer PR video with (a short ten second film you 'shoot' in the game). Also, remember how Nintendo systems were all rubbish because the friend system didn't work like the Xbox 360? That's fixed now. You now have three levels of other Pokémon players you've interacted with, passerbys are other people playing the game at the same time as you, acquaintances are people you've had some interaction with, either trading battling or video sharing and it's just one more step after a couple of interactions with acquaintances to make them fully fledged 3DS friends. You'll want them too. The new friend safari offers some great benefits in that any Pokémon you catch will have guaranteed high stats. The rub is that each friend will only ever have three Pokémon of one randomly(?) generated type to catch. So you NEED more friends to help breed that super-killer new team. It can be slightly annoying to be bombarded with challenges when your trying to get on with other things but already we've interacted with hundreds of other players without the displeasure of ever having to you know actually interact with them. This is a huge step forward and one we're deeply surprised more reviews didn't mention or focus on. It's a novel way to incorporate online play into an RPG that doesn't have a completely separate front end and gets around the previous problems of having to know someone to play with them online. And this is all on a handheld console. Impressive indeed.

Super Training
The other major step forward is that EV training has become so much easier with this game and interestingly, this is the most transparent Nintendo and Game Freak have ever been with the systems at work behind the scenes (that serious players all knew about anyway). For those who don't know, EV training is a way to train up your Pokémon to give them the best chance of reaching their maximum stats within a spread that is part genetics, part luck and part hard fucking graft ensuring your stats don't get botched. In previous games it required a notepad, hatching a bajillion eggs with carefully bred parents, a family tree, some held items and some crossed fingers. You'll still need most of that if you want to get the top percentage of rattattas (in joke) but it's every so slightly easier and ever so slightly more transparent through super training. Super training involves grinding a it-could-be-so-much-worse minigame and you can plan and observe how your stats improve after each round. This replaces the endless running around in long grass laboriously KOing 152 lillipups to ensure your stats ended up where you want them. We'd prefer if Nintendo and Game Freak just cut the cryptic bullshit all together and let you see the stat increases you'd earned up front. The information is already out there on sites like Serebii and Smogon, we don't see why they continue to pretend it's some sort of magic trick as to why one Porygon may end up with better attack stats than another one. So we can't quite ditch the web tech, spreadsheets and notepads yet but it's becoming a helluva lot less laborious to train Pokémon 'properly'. 

So with the addition of super training, all the online activities and the tamagotchi distraction of Pokémon Amie, playing Pokémon becomes less an RPG and more like the micro management of an RTS or MMORPG. O powers are buffs you can grant to yourself, passerbys, acquaintances and friends, which level up the more you use them and it's cheaper to use them on others than yourself forcing you to dish them out like an altruistic fairy godmother when in fact you want to just level them up as quickly as possible. You only have a fixed amount of energy to grant O powers that regenerates over time and regenerates quicker the more steps you have on the 3DS pedometer. So just the daily routine becomes a schizophrenic juggling act for maximum efficiency. You'll be juggling O powers both the ones you want to use on yourself (eggs hatch quicker, heal boosts, prize money and exp up) with levelling up the other ones with stuffing your Sylveon with poké puffs in amie, with trading and battling with randoms to add to your friend roster and test out your team whilst breeding and hatching eggs to level up your next Pokémon for your team. There's rarely nothing to do and criminally in the age of climate change it's tempting to leave the 3DS on all the time either to fill up your O power meter or accrue gifts for Pokémon Amie. Our 3DS hasn't been off charge since the day Pokémon Y launched.


All That Glitters is not Heart Gold
It ain't all that though. There are a number of things we'd have loved to have seen improved. Firstly, although the full feature set hasn't gone live yet, StreetPass and play coin features are extremely poor. StreetPasses generate poké miles but as yet there's nothing to do with them. Play coins aren't used at all. Although we are grateful for features that don't rely on face to face interactions this seems like a massively missed opportunity. In fact compared to Pokémon Black and White's online functionality the new Pokémon Global Link is a bit of a let down. There's virtually nothing to do (again, with Pokémon Attractions yet to launch) and bizarrely the addictive medal rally, think achievements, for the hardcore Pokémon fans, only exists online with no notifications in game. Okay so this might be one reason why you'd bother checking the online linked profile but actually I'd like to know when I got medals as I get them. Surely, that's the whole point?

Another downside is that compared to Pokémon Black and White 2 and Pokémon Soulsilver and Heartgold, there's little to do once the credits roll. Yes there's filling out the Pokédex and EV training for competitions but there's very little else. Even the dailies seem a little less interesting than previously. There is a battle tower and thankfully it's been tweaked so it isn't quite as hard to earn those battle points for the top items but it's no battle frontier, Pokélympics or the sheer diversity of distractions in Black and White 2. This is always a problem with the first Pokémon games every generation and we'd expect the companion to this pair, Pokémon Z or Pokémon X and Y 2 to be the definitive version of this game in the same way that Emerald, Platinum and Black and White 2 were the definitive versions of their 'trilogies'.

Lastly in the gripes bucket remember all those features that got lip flaps a flappering? Sky battles, riding Pokémon around and walking diagonally? All more or less bullshots. You get to have maybe a dozen sky battles ONCE. The Pokémon riding sections are slow, annoying and oddly you can't use your own Pokémon. There's literally one sequence in the game where walking diagonally helps you but by that point, it's a ice sliding puzzle, you forget you can move diagonally at all making a simple 'puzzle' seem impossible. All three of these that were extensively shown off before launch could have been more than they turned out to be. Instead, to our mind, they were rather naughtily used to pretend that this Pokémon was shaking things up much more than it actually was.

Nintendo have a real problem with all of their main franchises and increasingly their hardware are becoming niche platforms for the franchises you are a fan of. We picked up a 3DS just for this game and subsequently have picked up a couple of other outstanding titles and have really enjoyed them. We just needed that kick up the arse. Before Pokémon came out it just felt like a series of re-runs we already own three times before. Mario Kart, New Super Mario Bros, Animal Crossing, Fire Emblem. The latest Wii U Mario game pretty much summed this issue up, previews were lukewarm but the reviews were glowing, sizzling even. It's the Nintendo polish that makes all the difference. Yes they are games we've played a million times before but hey, they're really really good. Pokémon is the same. Get over the feeling that it's another Pokémon game, there's enough polish and love in there and what many have described as dusty mechanics are actually robust dynamics that were well ahead of their time and have stood the test of time in the way that the mechanics of games like Gears of War, Assassin's Creed and Uncharted are already feeling very very tired a mere four or five games in.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Can I even justify a new console?!?

Yeah so new generation has hit, there is updated graphics, physics, engines... the lot. But I'm not done with "Current Gen".

I will save you the resounding cry of thirty somethings with real jobs, complaining about responsibilities, not having comparatively enough time for games. I specifically am not done with Current gen as I have a back log of around 10 games (with more hitting soon!) I need to finish them first. Hell there is even DLC I need to pick up for Skyrim and waste another 100ish hours on that!

I know folks are banging on about playing an Xbox through an Xbone but something about that really does not sound economical/or indeed necessary, and frankly the machine should have some back compatibility anyways!

So Fuck it, next/Current gen can wait a minute, and calm the fuck down, get some updates, and some good titles. Then I may consider it worthy of my wallet.

Thank you and see you in 6 months PS4/XB1

unlesssantabringsmeoneomgomgomg

Love and Grinchy Hugs,

Richie X

Friday, November 15, 2013

The PlayStation 2 x 2

Okay so everyone is going on about it but here's our exclusive lowdown on the PS2x2, that is two PlayStation 2s taped together. We've unboxed ours, here's the extensive feature list.

  • Extensive Game Catalogue. What is it they say about buses? You wait a whole generation for a decent game (thanks PS3) and then hundreds come along. The PS2x2 can play some of the best games ever released straight out of the gate.
  • Backwards compatibility. You can play all your favourite PlayStation and PlayStation 2 games and playing them couldn't be easier. Just put your old games in either of the disc slots and play away! With a PlayStation or PlayStation 2 memory card you can even continue your old games from where you left them. No rebuying games you already own. No waiting for downloads. Microsoft are going to have to really nail it to beat this.
  • Forwards incompatibility. The PlayStation 2x2 is completely incompatible with PlayStation Move, any Resistance games or Heavy Rain
  • Stream live TV on your TV. You can watch live TV at any point by using your TV remote to turn over to the television seamlessly. 
  • All your favourite movies! Just put any DVD in either disc tray and your favourite movie is beamed into your living room. INSTANTLY. Even your Grandma can work it out! Better yet, DVDs are cheaper than Blu-Ray and they both come with chapter selection, subtitles and CD-ROM content you never check anyway!
  • Your favourite Sony characters. Unlike PlayStation Allstars Battle Royale, the PS2x2 features some of your favourite PlayStation characters. Crash Bandicoot, Jersey Devil, Kain and Raziel, Tommy Vercetti, Spyro the Dragon, Lara Croft and even the dude from Quake II
  • No patches or updates ever. They've achieved the impossible! With the PlayStation 2x2 you'll never have to wait for a day one patch, infuriating updates or two weeks copying a game to the hard drive so that it plays properly. All the games load up almost instantaneously and you can play them FOR EVER. Even if they decide to turn the servers off six months after a weak launch window. 
  • Something for everyone. Half your friends want to play an FPS and half want to play a karting game? No problem. With an extra television (sold separately) you can have half your friends play Timesplitters 2 and the other half play Crash Team Racing across two TVs. NAY BOTHER.
  • A great controller. Thankfully Sony have dropped sixaxis completely and all the balls touch pad shit from the Vita is nowhere to be seen. Just a comfortable functional pad. Also, NO MORE BATTERIES. EVER. You can plug the controllers directly into either of the consoles. 
  • Great price point. You already own the consoles & the games. If you're a PS2 short then you can buy one online for 3 euros. Away you go son. 
  • Take your games with you! Want to go to a friends' house but they haven't unlocked all the dinosaurs in Jurassic Path Warpath yet? Once again an emphatic NO PROBLEM. Just take your game and your memory card over to their house and you'll have all your characters unlocked straight away. No DRM and no downloading bullshit. 
  • Worried about the apocalypse? Are you concerned that when society falls you won't be able to play your games because you can't connect your console to the Internet every five minutes? Once again, Sony has you covered. As long as you have access to a generator you can play your PS2x2 until the gas runs out! Even zombies can't stop you finishing Beyond Good and Evil
It may be too early to call but we're confident enough. The PlayStation 2x2 just won this gen. We give it 145 different colour variants of the PS3 out of 147 different colour variants of the PS3. 

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Demo Seen and the 3DS:Part 2

Hurrah! The 3DS being so nice 'n' all has pulled us kicking out of the slump thinking about all that time we'd spent on gaming when we felt that gaming just didn't love us anymore (thanks XBONE and PS4). We've spent over 15 hours playing through demos alone. Here's Part 2 of our coverage. If you're even here reading it, congratulations, you're unique. Part 1, for the hard of clicking is embedded in the word here not that here or the last here or that here, it's here. 

/Sigh
Dead or Alive Dimensions We remember Dead or Alive. We still say "It is like the desert" when the situation calls for it. Dead or Alive Dimensions looks like Dead or Alive and sounds like Dead or Alive.It's probably Dead or Alive which means playing it online will be an experiment of continuously getting destroyed by the three people still playing it. We're happy to report that there was slow motion upvag in the cutscene and vibratits in the demo alone. Just in case anyone was wondering if the constant moaning about Team Ninja's love of such things was waning. Not only that but we found an image of the specific scene in mind so, you know, it's really really working. 

Theatrhythym FF Or Theatrerhythym Final Fantasy if you're not restricted by characters. Our second rhythm action game in the line up. The prelude that plays on the title screen is worth the download alone. Sadly, the game itself just isn't that great. There's little connection between the on screen prompts and the music and the song selection for the demo includes some of the least memorable FF songs of all time which is actually an impressive feat. 

Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed During our recent two month shunning of this blog and the world of gaming generally one of the few games we played was Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed on the Xbox 360 with three friends. For a day. What it lacks in Mario Kart's not-crashing-every-five-minutes it makes up for in letting four players play through the entire game together. Genuinely the most fun I've had couch co-opping with three other people since Timesplitters 2. The 3DS version is too fiddly and chaotic and unsatisfactory as a kart game can be. 

Pokemon Dungeon Gates to Infinity We own two of the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon games and it combines two of our favourite things. Games that tap into the GET ALL THE LOOT and POKEMON centres in the medulla oblongata. By all accounts this is a dumbed down, albeit '3D' version of the game. From the demo alone it's pretty much the same. There's a nice hook in that it'll let you carry over your save if you buy the game. Good work.

Project X Zone If you ever wanted to have no idea what's going on with none of your favourite Sega, Capcom and Namco characters look no further. At certain points 'playing' this demo I had to check to see if I hadn't had a stroke.

Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate Loved the Wii version so, so much. This seems to be pretty much the same although prolonged sessions are probably a thousand times comfortable with a circle pad pro. We imagine. Yes there's the usual extra bits and pieces added as Capcom are want to do with this franchise but we just don't see the sense in these iterative releases in games that are already absolutely huge. Holding out 'til 4 methinks.

Hint. To get those instant high review scores from That Guy's a Maniac just recreate this scene here
HarmoKnight Probably the best of our three rhythm action game demos available with bonus tracks from Pokemon being a personal highlight. Probably the one we have least to say about too. Scratch that. Definitely the one we have least to say about. 

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney- Dual Destinies We are gamers we swear but this is yet another series that has largely passed us by despite owning two volumes of the manga. The detective sections of the first two games in this series to get released in Europe just weren't intuitive or rewarding enough, obvious conclusions had to wait until the right time to draw them and other solutions were too much of  a stretch to link without a very Japanese logic. This looks fine with a new gizmoguffin to grill witnesses with.

Resident Evil Revelations Lots of people hated Resident Evil 5, all the people I know who loved it played it couch co-op. Operation Raccoon City has been officially wiped from history from the FBI and our copy of Resident Evil 6 is still in it's shrink wrap because we've got medals and mercenaries to do on 5 still. Squeezing Resident Evil Revelations onto the 3DS is a fantastic feat given that we were over the moon to be able to play the original on the DS. We played the demo three times, downloaded the digital version of the game which was also 40% of in the eShop and we haven't looked back. Glorious.

And there we have it. There's a few we haven't downloaded yet, Heroes of Ruin, Castlevania: Lords of Shadow Mirror of Fate, Farming Simulator 2012 3D and Shifting World still beckon. I Love My Pets, every LEGO game ever and Pyramids not so much. But you don't have to take our word for it, you can go and download all of these for free right now. You too can have opinions about these demos. It costs nothing!* Do it. Go on. Do it. Pin him. Piiiin him.



*Assuming of course you live in the first world, have access to electricity, a 3DS, an Internet connection, an SD card, a backup SD card and time on your hands which is perhaps the most expensive and incredible luxury most of the world just don't have.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Demo Seen and the 3DS: Part 1 Downloadable Now

Aaaaaaaaand I'm back. The messages have been pouring through our social media channels. Where is Cunzy1 1? Well maybe they have. We think maybe the filters are too high. We didn't receive a single message. But here I am anyway. This year's E3 put me in an anti-gaming malaise. Not only was I not looking forward to what next gen has to offer (what has next gen got to offer?) but it left such a bad taste in our mouth (we share all body cavities here) that I couldn't bare to even pick up a game. Let alone play a game. Let alone write about a game. I've spent my time watching Let's Plays on Youtube and crying into our wank sock (we share that too). 

Backstreet(Pass)'s Back
And then Pokemon Y came out. Global release. Which meant I had to get a 3DS and boy. Wow. We're back in. We love games again. Pokemon Wersion X and Pokemon Wersion Y are fine games, more on that in a blog post for another time, what impressed us most jumping on the 3DS is virtually everything about the 3DS.

I'd been sitting on the fence with the 3DS for a while. There were some games I would probably enjoy playing but it felt too much like reruns of the DS and DSi. I don't know who console and handheld makers thing their audience is but £200 (the price of a 3DS, don't even  get us started on next gen's console prices) is not a small amount of money by any means and until Pokemon Y came along there was no way of justifying that spend. Well, more of a case of bypassing justification and going straight into lying in the supermarket aisle kicking a screaming "I neeeeeeeeeeeed a 3DS for Pokemon". 

eCrack
Now we have our hands on one, we're super impressed. We thought that perhaps the tubes we were firing the Nintendo Now Showing posts down somehow weren't connected to the Internet. The Nintendo Channel and Shop Channel on the Wii, a mental mental massively popular console, just continued to disappoint with awful videos, every rarer updates, a tiny selection of demos for games you felt less likely to buy after downloading if you could be bothered to keep juggling virtual console and Wiiware games to and from SD cards to free up enough blocks. Fortunately, this side of the Wii seems to have been nought more than a testing ground for the much much much improved 3DS and probably Wii-U eShop. We bought a 3DS a week before Pokemon came out and filled that week playing nothing but demos. Amazing demos. A variety of gaming experiences that washed away our memories of rubbish last gen and got us excited about gaming again like the wonderful technicolor happy days of the PS2. A heady mix of indie games, popular franchises, arcadey experiences and off the wall batshit stuff. Games that make us smile. That's the problem with last gen's home consoles there wasn't enough to excite the old grey matter.

HIDEO HIDEO HIDEO
So we played a bunch of demos. Well, the activity log, the 3DS offspring of the Wii's Nintendo Channel (R.I.P.) tells us we've played demos for 15 hours and counting and here's what we think. Why should you care what we think about months old demos of games for a nearly three year old system? We didn't say you should. Don't be so fucking presumptuous. 

Face it, if the Police found this on your hard drive you're done. 
Etrian Odyssey IV One of those amazing games that sounds like the first three weren't released in Europe. Turns out they were. Either way it's a lovely game. Get past the gratuitous tit and vag paedo character art and it's a game you can spend hours and hours with doing nothing more than filling out a map. Think Rogue in FPS with cartography and you're there. This demo is restricted to three plays only which is the same way drug dealers get you hooked on crack. Inspired. It'll sell twelve copies. 

AiRace Speed We'd make the fairly uncontroversial statement that your demo download service is only as good as the demos on it. The Wii Nintendo Channel was full of awful crap you wouldn't force your worst enemies to play through and there are some stinkers up on the eShop. We were sure this was going to be one of them. Crap title. Uninspiring logo. MIND BLOWINGLY LOVELY. The full game is less than a fiver and we've got a fiver's worth of game from the demo alone. Play it. It squishes all the correct squishy bits in the brain as F Zero, Descent, Wipeout, Burnout's crash mode and oddly Tunnel B1 mixed together and fuck it, whilst we're here it's all of that ON SPEED. Download it already. 

Kingdom Hearts 3D [Dream Drop Distance] By far one of the worst demos both in terms of the section you get to play and playing the game itself. We loved Kingdom Hearts but the series went a bit Sonic replacing Disney heroes and villains that we love with angsty emo twats. I don't even know how many Kingdom Hearts games there are any more and this demo made me happy for that fact.

Witch & Hero This is probably a free PC flash game, there's nothing that necessitates it being on the 3DS but we were impressed by it and happy that throwaway 'Indie' experiences also have a home on 3DS. I'm not convinced that a demo would make me want to buy FUCK IT IT'S LESS THAN £4. 

Peter Jackson's Metal Gear Solid and the Philosipher's Prisoner of 3D Snakes Official Game of the Game. Like Kingdom Hearts, we lost our way with this series. We played the first one to death, watched a sibling play the second one and then the schlocky adolescent nonsense of a plot just drove us away. Internet communities still seek the deep and hidden meaning in this series. They've got as much luck as SETI to be honest. It just isn't there. The Japanese-ness of it mixed with X files level of scholarly integrity stretched over 200 hours doesn't make it sophisticated or clever. Saying that, I much prefer playing this on a handheld than the four abortive attempts I've made playing it on a console. In fact I may even pick it up for the game bits of it. I can make tea during the endoscope cutscenes up Kojima's arse. 

Fractured Soul Yet another game that feels way more refreshing than it ought too so bland is the palate of experiences in gaming recently. Action occurs across two screens requiring switching between the two in fast paced platforming. Get the timing of the screen switching right and the serotonin and endorphins dribble out of your nose with the flow. Get it wrong and you find yourself locked into sequences of continuously switching at exactly the wrong time proving how it's your subconscious mind that's been in control the whole time your stupid fore brain can't handle this shit. 

Rhythm Thief Rhythm games! Hurrah. In the void left by Elite Beat Agents there's a whole bunch of rhythm action games, three of which have demos. This one is perhaps the weakest of them, the rhythm and on screen action not gelling as well as it needs to. Still if tapping to the beat is your thing get on it.
Even as feminists we'd say that's a totally reasonable outfit. 
Virtue's Last Reward Yet another flavour of game in the ones available as demos, this time it's point and click adventure. The plot hinted at seems typically nonsense but the puzzle design, in the demo at least, scratch an itch that we haven't felt since Hotel Dusk. From this experience alone, we'd say it's actually better. Oh and there's breasts because GOD GROW UP INDUSTRY.

Fire Emblem Awakening We were excited to play this one. It got rave reviews and even EDGE had to admit to there being Nintendo systems to review it. Fire Emblem, like other 'core' Nintendo series seems to be a series that for one reason or another just doesn't resonate with gamers as much in Europe as it does elsewhere. I'll admit, I didn't even know the series existed until Super Smash Brothers Melee came out. By all accounts Fire Emblem Awakening is quite good even above the general accolade that gets poured on games with permadeath in by default. The demo doesn't really make it clear why that might be. The cutscenes look gorgeous though. Seriously. We'd buy all the anime series that came out in 3D on 3DS carts and we really really hate 3D. 

That's it for Part 1. Tune in in seven months time for Part 2. In the meantime go and download them all. It's free

x x x 


Monday, October 14, 2013

Pokemon X&Y

It has become clear to me that Pokemon X/Y is the best game ever, there will never be a game to trump it. As someone in the industry this dismays me, but that dismay is bittersweet as I can just play Pokemon X/Y.


Also, I am embittered by this post, as it is eating into my Pokemon Time.

Love and Pokemon Z?

Richie X

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

From the Collection #2: Pokémon NFC Figures

It's been a while since the last instalment of this series about all the gaming kipple we've collected over the years that fills cupboards and boxes away from the disapproving glances of partners. We started this series with some stuff that predates our video gaming 'lifestyle' choice and now we jump to the latest additions to the collection, which we frequently get out and lick, these ADOWABLE Pokémon near field communication (NFC) figures, designed to be used with the Wii-U game pad. Following on from the outlandish success of the Skylander's series Ninty are trying to cash in with this technology. Simply, you pop one of these figures on your Wii-U game pad and they pop up on the screen in the latest Pokémon Rumble game, one of the lesser Pokémon spin-off series. No doubt about it, it's a cash in (in previous Pokémon rumble games a similar feat was achieved through simple passwords alone) but we're huge fans of My Pokémon Ranch (153 hours 'playing' a screensaver essentially) which also uses these chibisised Pokémon so as soon as we saw them announced for Japan back in 1985, we knew we'd pick them up if they ever hit these shores. 


But here's where the happy bit ends. I'm going to use these figures as a jump off point to further bemoan the ongoing idiocy at the heart of today's video game high street retail sector. Firstly, this series of 18 figures are being sold blind so you have to buy multiple of them to.. ahem Catch 'em All(tm). In addition, there are two limited edition figures only one of which you get with special versions of the Wii-U game and a couple of alternate colour ones hidden out there. This is fine. I don't have a problem with this, a number of toy manufacturers from Lego to Power Rangers have realised that blind selling cheap toys is a lucrative initaitve, but I can see why some people (parents) might be peeved. Our issue is that as far as I can tell these figures, and the special edition of the game, are only available in the UK at GAME stores. I honestly don't know why somebody at Nintendo Europe things GAME exclusives are a good thing, especially since their stores started closing down en masse. Take London as an example, England's capital city, a metropolis of some 8 million people. Now, I understand that not all of them are fans of the Pokémon series but by making these figures a GAME exclusive, you instantly reduce the visibility of these figures by excluding the hundreds (thousands) of gadget retailers, toy stores, supermarkets and department stores and making them available in essentially two places in central London (GAME in Camden and one in Hamleys. The flagship Oxford Street store closed down last year. There is one in Westfield but that's a day trip and hardly central). Fair enough you might say, you don't want your product everywhere but two places in London. This would have been fine at least if there was any kind of marketing campaign (assuming Nintendo want to sell these things) but there was nothing that I saw. In fact the first I heard that these would be available in the UK was last week on Serebii. The day before launch. Now Serebii is an excellent website but it's a fan-run affair, yet they scooped this 'news' before the Official Nintendo Magazine (in fact ONM regularly source news from this website) and a lot of other sites didn't even run the story. Way to build up a market for your product Ninty, who by the way, still seem to think that news only reaches our shores when trading merchants bring back tales of the New Worlde. 

Another problem I have with these GAME exclusives is that you have to go to GAME. We've posted many times before about the consistently awful customer experience and service in these stores but then another fucking Pokémon promotion comes along and we end up enduring this kind of stuff (word for word quoted):

In the Hamleys branch of GAME on Sunday (Launch day +2 for these figures and the new game)
TGAM: (nervously after scouring the store) Um, hey do you have any of those NFC figures for the new Pokémon Rumble game?
GAME: No. [pause] What figures?
TGAM: The ones with the near field communication for the Wii U Pokémon rumble game (resists saying that came out two days ago and is exclusive to the store you work in). 

Spotting an empty box on the shelf we point

TGAM: Those ones.
GAME: Let me check.
GAME: No. We're sold out.

From this lovely experience we're filled with confidence in GAME as a retailer. First, their staff clearly aren't given much in the way of a head's up about what's new out or they just don't care. Gamers across the pond regularly complain about retailers trying to push bundles and product on customers. We are blessed with the opposite problem. Alarm bells are also ringing because they're sold out on day two. You might think that selling out is a good thing but it means that a product has been under ordered. For a product with little to no marketing enough people (or maybe one hardcore collector) made the effort to hunt them down and for every person who wanted them or would have opportunsitically picked some up after they'd sold out is lost sales. And because they aren't available elsewhere that means tough shit basically. Which equals poor sales figures, product invisibility and frustrated customers (hi!) some of which may make Ninty think twice about bringing these kinds of products to the EU market. A market which until recently, already gets the short shrift in temrs of games and merchandise that just isn't thought to be 'viable' here. Why do we care about GAME's business model? I honestly don't know but we wish someone in their management group would pay attention to this shit. Also, we still think that having game retailers is a good thing for the wider recognition and enjoyment of gaming. 

Camden GAME (Launch day +3)
Having made a special effort in our lunch break (we share one) to travel across the city to Camden in the hope they have some in stock (the automated product stock option on the answerphone didn't recognise 'Pokémon' nor did anyone pick up the phone). Fortunately, there's a box of gatchas on the side and we pick up 3, resisting to buy them all in case this is the last chance we get to ever get any. We wait at the counter nervously because there's a grotty yoof hanging around and eyeballing us and nobody behind the counter. He then steps around the counter. Turns out it must be non school uniform day at GAME.

TGAM: (Proudly in as much as 30 something year old sweaty and out of breath man can buy Pokémon products) Just these three please.
GAME: I was saying to my friend earlier, I used to collect these when I was younger. I can't believe how much of a rip off they are.
TGAM: But..... yeah... they use the Wii U near field stuff though.
GAME: Yeah Wii U.

So some excellent customer service there insulting the customer and then complaining about your own prices. Excellent. I don't even care about the NFC stuff I just want pretty things but it's clear that he didn't know a) What these things were b) The sales pitch I imagine in my really boring fantasy world that GAME managers train their staff with with new products c) That these are new. Or basic customer service. Or where his work shirt was. 

So all in all a pretty awful retail experience all around. Funny seeing as the unexpected success of Skylanders ,and the subsequent acreage of space allocated to these figures in GAME stores, has somewhat saved GAME from total closure. You'd assume they'd be all over the next opportunity to make money hand over fist. Instead they seem content on not letting their staff know about the new product they have exclusively, how it works, or for that matter doing any marketing. This is what gets my goat the most. How is it that going to buy a brand new product in a capital city from one of the best loved video game companies based on one of the top selling video games franchises ever still feels harder than sourcing a bootleg CD from a local band that occasionally plays down the local pub? And I'm not even the target fucking demographic. God knows how kids know about or get their hands on these things. We found out from a fan site, dragged our partner all over London, took a long lunch break and caught two buses to get our hands on these. 

So there we have it. That's the story behind these. The ongoing saga of the business of video games barely managing the business side of things. Who knows if these will be available after next week or if we'll ever see a second or third series? I've got enough for now to get on with- arranging them in a line, choosing a favourite, smelling them etc. So catch 'em all. Whilst you still can.....

Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Next Gen, The Inside Story

Sick of hearing about the Xboxone and the PS4 through constant RUMOUR and drip, drip of unconfirmed screenshots of a next gen game taken with a shaky cam from a brown paper bag? Bored of the Official PlayStation magazine tweeting about the number of USB ports on the PS4? Tired of the never ending whine of fanboys who miss the good old days when you had to get cheat codes from the back of a mag and you could only play the latest games at your mates house on all those illegally ripped disks?  You want to hear the facts? You've come to the right place, because we my friends have a source. ON THE INSIDE.

It's Alcamoth citizen from inside Xenoblade Chronicles. Here's what she has to say about next gen. 


You heard it here first. EXCLUSIVE.

Thursday, August 01, 2013

In addendum:

One thing we would like to add to this post: Is that while getting my ass handed to me by all those legendaries, I was able to experience the other side of the pokemon games. Namely what it felt like to be an NPC. All these over powered super speedy pokemon, and here was me with a fucking stunfisk.
I felt the pain of those stupid fucking team rocket grunts, making their grandiose claims of world domination with a fucking level 9 Zubat.

These comics know what I mean:
VGCats Super Effective 63
VGCats Super Effective 64
Dorkly, the fate of all NPC Trainers

Fuck 'em, now those NPC's will feel my wrath with a furious vengeance!

Love and almost a Pulp Fiction quote,

Richie X

Pokémon 2013 Global Showdown: Team TGAM's story


Right now until Midnight on Monday, it's the 2013 Global Showdown International Pokémon tournament. For non-Pokémon aficionados, every now and then there are international tournaments that are run over Wi-fi. The tournament are broken into a number of categories depending upon the age information with your Pokémon game; Junior Division, Senior Division and Master Division for old farts like us.  Each tournament has an open registration period, places are normally limited to 50,000 (from a community of 3 million according to the Pokémon Global Link) and tournament rules sometimes vary. For a short time the registered trainers can take part in as many battles as they wish winning and losing adding or taking away ranking points which everyone starts of with 1500 of. You get to register six Pokémon and then going into each battle you see the six Pokémon your opponent has, both of you choose three trying to weigh up the strategic combinations. This is the first International tournament that Richie and I have both signed up to and we've spent this weekend battling trainers from around the world. HOWEVER, despite both being Pokémon nuts, the excuses for poor performance need to be fore-fronted. Richie, didn't have the pick of his best and brightest because he's still in mourning for the properly trained and honed Pokémon that got lost in the washing machine. In addition neither of us read the tournament rules, which oddly allowed the use of virtually every Pokémon, including some which are normally restricted because they are too powerful ('Uber' in the horrible horrible jargon of the 'community'). But we're taking part in the Master category right so surely veterans of the game, including a large proportion of honour-bound Japanese would understand that even if it's allowed you don't use the highly unfair cheaty cheaty legendary Pokémon so that battling is a bit more diverse right? RIGHT? Turns out not.

Cunzy's Team
Not bothering to check spotting the open rules for this tournament I went with a selection of the guys in my team who are properly EV trained and frankly some of the ones I like. Very briefly, mamoswine is just a heavy hitter, crustle and bastiodon are defensive annoyers, gardevoir and carracosta are vicious after a turn of setting up and ninjask was just part of the selection to put trainers on edge I guess. More often than not I lead with crustle who would set up entry hazards with mamoswine and carracosta as backup. Ninjask got virtually no play at all, never getting to use substitute to the super fast legendaries that were kicking about.

Richie's Team

After my horrible ordeal of losing everything I have spent all of my time completing the game, and trying to "Collect 'em all". Kingdra, Omastar and Gyrados are remnants from the old Water team, they didn't get transferred across the first time because they all had HM moves and it meant going to the Move deleter. My Laziness saved them. Muk, was actually not properly trained in any way, he was just a pokemon I used through my original playthrough, and the guy (actually girl) is a trooper one of the most fun movesets I have used. Druddigon is an experiment, based on Lapras from before, and Stunfisk is just cool, but completely useless in Legendary tiers. Everyone got a Look in, but Omastar needed to be part of a 6 Man team, and is so shit-weak without backup.

Summary
Cunzy: So how was it for you?
Richie: It was noting short of a painful round of butt-hurt, after all my chaos with Gen V, I though this could turn it round. instead it was rushing to EV some random pokemon, followed by generic legendaries fucking me up.
C: Yep, I saw a lot of Specially Defensive Jirachi, Palkia, Kyurem and Lugia. The community should be ashamed of itself.
R: All contrition types I had created were just nullified with Super speedy Mewtwos using the same move over and over, I mean fuck that shit, no set-up, no tactics. Just: A Button, A Button, A Button, Win. At least I know what I'll be leveling next time.
C: At one point, I was just happy to get a KO in at all.
R: Yeah, just wish that the ratings reflected that.
C: Another thing people, mamoswine is ground and ice. But thanks to the five trainers who tried to fusion bolt it.
R: Next time (Gen VI) we know not to enter the free-for-all typings. Or do we? We are elitist fucks who think that using cheaty legendaries are for the plebian masses. We'll see you on the battle field, Fairy pokemon in hand. Fear the might of the revenge of Queefman!
C: I fantasize about Caterpie and Wurmples crawling over me while I touch myself.
R: Love and bring on Gen VI!

Richie and Cunzy X

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Omastar Comics #36

Since all this business, Omastar is too busy for comics work it seems. He's now off trying to break into the West End. He'll be doing adverts for squid rings in six months. DON'T COME CRAWLING BACK HERE BECAUSE WE'RE DONE YOU UNGRATEFUL... 

So here's the new star of Omastar comics, someone who the kids might actually recognise, in a comic that all of two people will get, not that there's really much of a joke here in the first place. As ever, you gotta click to embiginate.

In other gaming news, we're so so bored of the three stories going round and round at the moment. Like the XbOne and PS4 aren't going to land with a splat rather than a parade of dinosaurs with fireworks coming out of them and as if the AAA vs Indie is actually a thing. If you can't make games that will keep you in the business, don't fucking bother. Until the PS2, DS and Wii conks out we're in no rush for 'next gen'. It's unbelievable. God. We're just so angry at the moment. It's the heat. Or our period. 

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Outcast, re-boots all round

So that ancient game Outcast has been marked for a remake, and some of the original Syndicate (Wars) guys have appealed to the kickstarter community to give them money to do so. I feel that this week the games industry just flicked through gog.com and chose a couple of randoms.



First of all! That Syndicate game, which is called Satellite Reign; dont get me wrong I'm excited about the appeal of a successor that is not an FPS, and it ties in nicely with my recent cries for a proper dystopian megalopolis type game. But I cant get round that video: those guys are really off-putting, just seeing them there pitching their idea on kickstarter, it really feels a bit too much like begging, sorry guys. Some other kickstarters have done well in advertising their products and appealing, mainly because they are mostly creative types, but this seems like guys out of their depth trying to learn how to do a sales pitch.

Secondly why Outcast?! Outcast was a great game, for its time, it had a great emotional and atmospheric environment, the controls system now-a-days is incredibly flawed, but previously was a feat of ingenuity. The game was a great achievement artistically speaking using a blend of 3D and sprites. How do you create a successor to this, the game was defined by its control system and use of art styles. Arguably one of the last great examples of artistic development and creativity within the constraints of (then current PC) hardware.

I suppose it is no less relevant than a Robocop Reboot.

Love and Persuadertron class,

Richie X

Friday, June 28, 2013

From The Collection #1: The Crookback Packrats

Over a month ago now, we trailed this series and then in classic TGAM style ditched it. This series is our way of getting some extra value out of all that stuff we've collected over the years, most of it travelling direct from the shop into the cupboard of shame. In surveying the collection we were in two minds about where to start. Should we mix it up and start at the end with the latest kipple we picked up in the HMV and GAME closing sales? Maybe start in the middle during 'our golden age of gaming' when we actually had the time/the inclination to play video games with every available second? Or perhaps we should go deep into the cupboard of Chinese manufactured goods and dredge out the things that started it all? Well we guessed you' expect us to choose one of those so in an elaborate twist we went waaay back. BEFORE the beginning. Perhaps this is where it all started with, sadly, all I have left of a once magnificent but also deeply shameful collection of Games Workshop miniatures.


Once upon a time I had a magnificent collection of Games Workshop products; Heroquest, Space Crusade, Blood bowl, Warhammer Quest (including all the character packs and expansions), Advanced Heroquest, Necromunda, a hefty Warhammer 40K Ork army, tons of copies of White Dwarf and a small Dark Elf army for Warhammer. However, the crown in the jewel was my beloved Skaven army. I had every unit, hero and war machine painted with varying degrees of finesse. I was a lucky kid there's no doubt about it, particularly given that my and my friends' parents used to cart us and all our gear to each other's houses virtually every weekend for four horribly awkward teenage boys to sit around for hours of figure painting and miniature warfare. Sadly due to odd family circumstances the whole lot of my collection got donated to a hospital without me knowing or able to do anything about it. That was sad for me but doubly sad seeing as the last thing a bunch of sick kids need is some toxic lead miniatures (this was in the days before the white metal and widespread use of plastic kits). The only thing that was saved from the collection was a random assortment of stuff that wasn't with the rest including my blood bowl team, the Crookback Packrats illustrated here, a lone dark elf champion, three books and my box of die. Over the years I've missed the collection but at the same time I'm grateful it was less stuff to hide when we tried to sex people.


We've been thinking about geekery questions recently such as where does it start? What are the gateway drugs? To our mind Games Workshop is a very British think for 'the kids' ('the boys'?) to get into. Many of our American associates can trace their origins back to D&D and other pen and paper games but certainly where I grew up it was pushing figures around a green painted MDF board with cereal boxes for hills and railway houses for castles and bunkers. This then lead into playing Magic the Gathering and at the same time into video games (and what seems to be international, an inexplicable fondness for wrestling, despite the fact that when we were growing up it was only on satelite TV and nobody had satelite TV). It's hard to write this without projecting my own neuroses onto it but being a geek growing up was really fucking tough. Especially the teenage years, when having a passion about anything that wasn't 'normal' (cars and football) made you an instant target for ridicule. Particularly, because some of our braver colleagues never wanted to shut it off, bringing up Lord of the Rings at the lunch table or writing their creative English homework on Resident Evil (never got a good grade for that). On the one hand I would have loved to have 'just been myself' and not cared what others thought, on the other life was just easier keeping it under wraps. It's why we're still self concious stepping foot in a Games Workshop, going to one of these events or admitting to colleagues that on the weekend a bunch of us like to spend the whole weekend playing card, board and video games like the last 16 years had never happened. And of course it isn't just a love of beautiful tiny figures, the systems in Magic the Gathering or the rules of a board game it's all about loving these things with a group of people who unashamedly love them too. You can let the guard down, you can be yourself, you can make some of the geekiest in jokes ever and everyone will get it.


Sadly, this is the only physical reminder of those glory days. The last remnants of weekends of happiness, of engaging fully with our geeky side and not having to hide it for fear of snap judgements. If we'd been growing up now I think things would have been a lot different but only because people my age now run the world. It's perfectly quotidian to love the Lord of the Rings films or to go and see the latest (cack) superhero movie at the cinema or to be addicted to the Game of Thrones or to discuss the Walking Dead around the water cooler. Which makes us think, were we alone as we thought? Is it just that the geeks now hold the positions of power in the creative industries? Was everyone hiding their love of fantasy and sci-fi? 

Older veterans of the scene swear blind that you end up coming back to where you started and I'd be lying if my particular gaggle of geeks didn't occasionally buy a White Dwarf here, warhammer 40K codex there, a black library publication (read Ravenor) or the sneaky unit of beastmen from time to time. I think if we had more time we would go back to playing Warhammer again but it's difficult enough to get us in the same room at the same time for people's weddings and their children's christenings and it's still a bit hard to explain to a (particularly if they're new) partner just quite what it is you do and why you enjoy it so much. 

As an aside, the Games Workshop has had an abyssmal record when it comes to expanding their Universes across media. There have been a fair few video games some of which were awesome (1993's Space Hulk), some passable (Shadow of the Horned Rat) and others a bit pap (Fire Warrior and honourable mention for the awful awful Ultramarines movie). At their best, the games capture the spirit and trigger the nostalgia of pushing around a gazillion skavenslaves and missing that key die roll but are never a replacement for the camaraderie and fun times shared between friends. Recently, I picked up Blood Bowl for the DS. It's a perfectly serviceable and accurate (if somewhat buggy thanks Cyanide) port of the game and I've probably played more games of Blood Bowl than I ever did with the team featured here but it's not the same as the warm feelings I get when I fondle and kiss these beauties. Lead poisoning be damned.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Pokemon Team: En Memorandum

Last month was a hard time for me. In part I was overjoyed at the exposure thatguys.co.uk was getting with that Kill Screen article. However it was also a dark time, my Pokemon Black Cartridge got put in the washing machine corrupted. This cart contained many of the pokemon who were on a par with the length of time played and connection with that Omastar, so as I am sure you can appreciate the joy of being featured was ever so slightly tainted...

As you can imagine, I was more than distraught. I considered trying to salvage my save using PC adaptors, or perhaps re-starting with a new save and using editors re-create my pokemon with their original stats. I could even send some of the “event” pokemon, those pokemon I queued for, or downloaded that are no longer available. That would be legit right, its not so cheaty is it?

I decided against it, to follow on from the Omastar article there is an emotional attachment to these guys, if I were to re-create them what would I create? Shallow empty copies. So I have decided to simply consider them dead.

On arriving to this conclusion I genuinely went through the 5 stages of grief:

1. Denial: Specifically dropping to my knees and screaming “NOOOOOOOO!” to the heavens
2. Anger: I fucking flipped a table!
3. Bargaining: This is the part I just mentioned; I could just re-create them that would be the same right? RIGHT?!?
4. Depression: I was fucking sad that I lost them, there is no real way to express this...
5. Acceptance: This. Post. Is. My. Acceptance.

A moments Silence for the ‘mons that are no longer amongst us.

Sgt. TGAM
Swampert
Outrageous
Dragonite

PewPew
Garchomp
Queefman
Dunsparce
Floo
Flygon
No name
Lapras
Cuntbubble
Togekiss
Deadball
Froslass

And yeah the shinies, the 1/8192 chance of appearing pokemons gone..
.
Scizor
Tangrowth
Parasect
Weavile


I would also like to mention I shall never EVER play Pokemon Black again it’s fucking cursed.

However white 2 is coming along well, if only I knew someone who could help me pad out my Pokedex...

Love and my super rod got a nibble,

Richie X