Saturday, June 23, 2012

Where do we go, from here...

I still feel sad after I heard news of this: The Loading bar.

We have, for years, contemplated the possibility of our own little gaming themed pub, though admittedly it was supposed to roll off the success of Which, if we were to take our market research from, we would have Sheeva Nude, and Gay Dante themed bar.

However where does this stop? Gaming culture has come leaps and bounds since our blog started a little over six years ago (SIX!) there is a definite acceptance and hip-mainstreamism (akin to geek-chic) of gaming. It has taken much longer than I expected for a theme bar to be created, at least in the UK. The Mana-Bar in Australia aka Yahtzee Croshaw's bar has been open for ages now. But why only bars, we have nightclubs for music, cinemas for Movies, we used to have arcades for games (Ha!). We occasionally have E3 and other over hyped corporate events. But these are yearly, and as much fun as it is to get confirmation that Game X has been confirmed at these shows, games do not come out yearly. Why is there not an events platform for game. Why, rather than people queueing for hours round the block dressed up in cosplay, for the latest expansion, why don't we have and events platform, celebrating all that is gaming all year round for gamers free from the monotonous corporate churn (is that possible?).

Well business plan is in the works investors please email us at

Love and wishing you had done it first,

Richie X

Thursday, June 21, 2012


NOT A LOT GOING ON IN GAMING FOLKS. There's all that sexism rubbish which might be worth discussing were the internet version of the gaming community not a multiheaded siren screaming inanity. E3 failed to get anyone hyped about anything (those few people pretending that smartglass is a thing are clutching at straws). But don't worry kids! It isn't all:

Umm. Well it might be. We hadn't thought past the joke. Quick look, a Final Fantasy VII rerelease...

Phew that was close.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Devil May Cry HD: Finally

So we finally got DMC:HD Collection. Despite not one fucking retailer selling it any more, I mean seriously... There is no copies of this anywhere, this collection came out when the GAME group was in receivership, liquidation, bankruptcy or whatever bullshit umbrella term they were using for the poor business model of forcing the unwitting public to buy the latest pap that paid them dividends. Anyways it came out when GAME was briefly shut, and as such they never got it in, but also it seems no other supermarkets or other retailers seem to have it either (which makes us consiprationally question the distribution of games!), so it was off to the internets where, without fail, we got it, and first hand too, so no more fuelling the pre-owned machine.

But yeah digressions aside...

We fired this up a couple of days ago starting with DMC1 and to sum it up; first impressions were that the game was hard! I remembered most of the locations and hidden items/secrets, but I was really struggling to attack the simplest of enemies, however this was soon rectified when I was able to buy some moves. Yeah DMC is hard until you can buy some moves, then that much abuse idiom comes in: It was like riding a bike. Most of it was pure "Muscle Memory" but you start automatically pull off the moves without thinking, and when you haven't purchased the skills this does nothing, and really messes up boss fights. But once you have them the gave got infinitely easier. DMC2 suffers from this less; Dante seems to have all of his skills out the box, the upgrades in the game are purely based on the power of the weapons which you upgrade throughout the game, but DMC2 just lacks too much Dante is stale, bitter and not fun but the gameplay is all there. DMC3 however returns to the DMC formulae, Dante is useless, like a definition of nerfed, struggling on the first enemies. But only getting worse with a plethora of weapons and a whole multitude of skills with them. DMC3 gives us a bit of remorse... Why cant all those PS2 save files be magically transferred to the 360. WHY GODS WHY!

Love and bike riding,

Richie X

Friday, June 15, 2012

We've given away too much of our soul

In between, twitter, reddit, forums and comments on all those fucking sites that never repay the favour I think we've given away a bit of our soul. We're all gamed out*

Here's a thing. A feature.

What she said until we've got some more inspiration. Uuuuuuugh. THAT WAS THE BAD THING. E3. We just remembered. Oh god.

*Without actually playing any games. Aside from Pokemon Mystery Dungeon again. That barely counts. That's us in coasting mode**

** NOT TRUE, NOT TRUE we played Paper Mario. It's s'alright.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

The Art of Video Games

The book. This one. Not The Art of the Video Game or Video Game Art or The Art of Game Characters or Creating the Art of the Game or Game Art. Those are different books. We won't be talking about those here. 

The Art of Video Games: From Pac-Man to Mass Effect is the catalogue of the exhibition with the same name that is still running (until September this year) at the Smithsonian American Art Museum. The exhibition has been widely described as crucial but very conservative. It isn't the first video game exhibition or the first time that games have been on display. The Science Museum in London put together a very interactive exhibition called Game On and the Design Museum had a very small installation of the design of games. Also the HTTP Gallery (now Furtherfield) had a very cool exhibition a while back. It is the first exhibition however, by a big institution, a big art institution that treats games as games within their own right.

The subtitle "From Pac-Man to Mass Effect" is apt too. This isn't a comprehensive exhibition and it isn't the usual dross you find at computer museums with endless old computers in glass cases arranged chronologically /snoooze. The games that made the final cut were moronsourced by the internet, the poll itself causing the gaming community online (maybe including us, can't find the link if we did whinge) to go a bit shouty because the game choices seemed to be a bit arbitrary. But it's tough. There's over 5 million games now, okay but there's only a couple of thousand of those that are worth mentioning but with an exhibition like this it will be impossible to please everyone. Even the excellent "1001 Video games you must play before you die" compiled by some really talented writers had some blind spots. This exhibition is not comprehensive and short of a National Museum of Video Games (this nonsense does not count) I don't think that's the right approach. 

I haven't been able to see the exhibition and sadly I don't think I will get to unless it tours but what about this book business then? Well it is a lovely big glossy book. The production values are high here and there's some great content, it has clearly been put together by people who know and care about games. Which is great because gamers can smell a pretender from 100 miles away. Yes we may be typified by the crass, chauvinist, everythingist man child but we stay true to our nerdy/geeky heritage. Get a fact or piece of trivia wrong and it is.... it is..... GAME OVER. Yeah, we went there. The biggest problem I have, bearing in mind that I said originally that this exhibition was not supposed to be comprehensive, is that the game choices for inclusion (decided by the community) are a bit odd. 80 games are the focus of the exhibition but is it really necessary to include two Phantasy Stars and three Panzer Dragoons? Is it? Is it? Is it? IS IT? Is it now? Is that needed? Is it? Is it needed? Do we need that? Is that what we're in need of now? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Two Phantasy Stars? Need those? Do we? Do we need those? If we're putting together a selection of 80 games charting the development of the art of games, would you need two Phantasy Stars and 3. 3. THREE. Panzer Dragoons? Do we? 6%. 6% of the games. Need it? Need it? Do we? Do we need it?

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

E3 Balls

So it's E3 again. Already. Everyone gets way too excited, few let important things such as facts get in their way. We're going to be extending all of our tendrils during E3 and we'll keep updating this post when thoughts occur in our brains.

  • Errr steady on MCV, this year's isn't even over yet and they're starting coverage about the next one. Hmm.
  • More Wii U speculation. This time it's Mass Effect. Possibly. So that's yet another AAA game that's already on the HD platforms that may appear on the Wii U. Forgive us for not wetting our pants yet.
  • There's a Painkiller sequel. To go with the four ports and 200 expansions. CARE FACTOR = 0
  • Crysis 3Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Will this one even turn a profit? No. No of course it won't.
  • We just can't hide our surprise. Sony, the makers of PlayStation. Are making an accessory that turns the PlayStation Move into a steering wheel well into a hang glider thing! Wow! If only I could be bothered to dig through the forums to find the Sonyponies pissing their pants over the Wii wheel six years ago. SIX.
  • Big Vita news from the Sony conference: you can now play all those PSOne games you already own for the PSOne and for the PSP on the Vita now. Probably if you buy them again. 
  • EDGE's coverage of the Sony conference is well worth a read. It captures our general disdain and sense of underwhelment from the whole thing. Piss all for the Vita, when it needed to be blown out of the water and well, where are all the games?
  • MS's conference didn't exactly whelm us either. Halo, Gears, Madden, Ass Creed and CoD. Most people's existing Xbox 360 shelves then. Good work guys. Good work. Market leader right there. 
  • RPS's John Walker says some wise words about E3. Although he neglects to mention that the PCification of consoles is making them shit and the consolification of PC games holds them back. 
  • Beyond:Two Souls from Quantic Dream. Meh is the best we can muster.  
  • There's a new trailer for DmC. We're huge fans of the first three (four was alright). Still not too sure if we're happy with the character reset. Dante was always cocky but not necessarily a cock. Oh well Ninja Theory know how to handle an IP create mediocre games that sink at retail.
  • A new Resident Evil 6 trailer. Please make it split screen co-op, please make it split screen co-op. Ut-oh vehicle sections?
  • Not even properly announced yet and already the Wii-U has another fucking controller for the mountain of Nintendo Crap.
  • Do I really want social networking in my New Super Mario Bros? No. No I don't.
  • Wii-U Batman now with all that console exclusive shit like with the other consoles. Fucking great.
  • Scribblenauts will get a reimagining so now it's Little Big Scribblenauts. You know, abandoning the core concept at the heart of the game. Good then.
  • Wii Fit U and Sing. Fair do's keep the non gamer happy but not in my conference hey? 
  • Wow. Nothing new on the 3DS front. Actually, nothing. This is bad.
  • Lego City on the Wii-U. Yes, okay but why isn't everything made of LEGO? Completely misses the point of LEGO. GTA with a few studdy bits on. 
  • Nintendo's conference in general was poor. A mario game, a mario game, a mario game, Wii Fit again again, Dance dance again again and umm Nintendoland. I'm still none the wiser about how the Wii U is going to be something I would buy. Weirdly, Ubisoft's ZombiU was the best game. Sad. I'm not on the edge of my seat waiting for this to come out at Christmas. I'm hoping they're going to hold it back until they come up with something that's going to shift the console. 

Marcel on E3

Wait. You too? How did he?...

Sunday, June 03, 2012

The Loading Bar

Aaaargh! They stole our idea and and they have the best fucking name

THEY HAVE A DRINK CALLED G AND T VIRUS! Uuugh. Disgustingly brilliant. We're done.

Oh also we turned six years old and as predicted missed it. Completely missed it. We'll be honest we're running on fumes.

* Secretly jealous.