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Showing posts from November, 2011

SERIOUSLY?

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Jurassic Park: The Game

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Another quickie. Is it me or is this game even out yet for the consoles? Telltale's site isn't helpful. Nothing in GAME or HMV. Amazon don't seem to have it. Xbox isn't promoting it very well. Nothing on the official PlayStation site.

UPDATE: Ah ha apparently it has been delayed for the Xbox in Europe. Maybe Telltale should have that on their fucking website?

That's how you do retail apparently. Pissing off the one person who actually might tolerate your piss poor QTE game.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Too late! I watched most of it on Youtube. Sorry guys you lost a sale.

Two Good Things You Should Read

Soz everybody, we've been mired in Dinosaur games of late. Just stopping by, checking we haven't been burgled. Oh and there's two things you should read. There's probably an easier way of flagging these links but it'll require signing up to a thing and then a thing. So just click the links kay?

First up, this discussion from EDGE about game art. It makes all the points we clumsily try to communicate when the "Are games art" discussion comes up before the conversation gets hi-jacked by idiots thinking they know what art is and isn't.

Second up, what is wrong with the video game BAFTAs. There's a lot wrong with them, some of it is what Ste says in the article. But we all know that indie games are boring anyway. On a more serious note, "Games" are so huge that there's no point in trying to group them together for awards. Who are the awards for too? They certainly don't seem to be for me.

Stay safe kiddlewinks.

Omastar Comics #32 Omastar 3D

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3D is great right? Everything is just better in 3D. Including Omastar Comics! Prepare to have your eyes close down knowing that they won't ever see a finer thing after you read this new Omastar Comic. NOW IN 3D.

Does not get better than that people makes you think how we ever put up with all those 2D omastar comics right? We might as well call it a day here.

KYOTOKEI! The demo

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Wiiware has demos, Wiiware doesn't have demos. Wiiware sorta has demos but there are none avaialable. Wiiware has demos of weird games. We keep out eye on demos that sometimes get put up on the Nintendo channel. Sometimes we download the demos. We then play an excellent mini game called "juggle the channel data" where we try to free up enough space in the Wii memory to be able to play the demo just downloaded onto the SD card. We try to do it in as few moves possible, leaving the minimum amount of free blocks spare on the Wii. Right now as we type you can download the demo of Fast: Racing League, Kyotokei and some micro racers game. We downloaded Kyotokei. First impressions aren't great. It looks like an amateur webcomicist did the characters. Erk. The music is also annoying. Not a good start.
The game itself is quite cool. I don't know how original the concept is but it is basically a side scrolling shooter but you can change the colour of your guy riding a bird …

Skyrim Liveblogging: Dungeon Crawling

So i did my first dungeon, found the first side quest i could do and ran there and started opening chests and killing bad-men. Its oblivion again!!!!

Well that's it for now.

Further updates in the next few weeks on this game.

Love and Golden Claws,

Richie X

Skyrim Liveblogging: Levelling up

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Ding! Levelled up!

Took my first "perk" in Archery, oh I see Skyrim is using the perk system from Fallout...

Though i worry did i choose well?!?!?

Love and hastily chosen perks,

Richie X

Skyrim liveblogging: Character creation

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So here is my little badass.

Love and Off to the block with you,

Richie X

Skyrim: Liveblogging!!

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Oh yeah, fuck remembrance day! Today is Skyrim-day!

Right now I'm installing that bad boy ready to launch into it, expect updates today....

Love and the only reason I'll be silent at 11am is because I'm so engrossed in character creation,

Richie X

VOTE FOR DEOXYS

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FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. WE'VE ABUSED ALL CAPS TOO MUCH IN THE PAST, THIS TIME WE MEAN IT.

The Official pokemon website is running a vote for a pokemon that will be featured as a download via the Pokemon Global Link. It is clear that TGAM are poke addicts but it ain't all rosy. This could change everything.

Here are the current rankings of pokemon people have been voting for:

For the love of god Pokemon players. VOTE FOR DEOXYS! Deoxys has never been available in the UK. The empty spot in my almost living pokedex drives me crazy. It is a constant source of dismay to me and the people around me. Whoever the fuck is voting for ditto and pikachu needs euthanising straight away. Not metaphorical euthanising, deliberate hunting down, slaying dissecting and grotesquely displayed in public areas as a warning to others. As for the people voting for Arceus, sure, it is a nice third choice but there was an event for it a while ago. You missed out. Sorry guys. VOTE DEOXYS. For all that is left…

Disgrace: The father of video games

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Two MCV links in as many days. Good on ya MCV, no doubt our publicity (we are the second greatest video game blog in all of existence as proved by science, probably the firs now as Harvind1 has seemingly gone offline) will give them a numbers boost.

This interview with Ralph Baer over at the Salt Lake City Tribune has him bemoaning modern video games. MCV ran with the quote:
“I think it’s a disgrace,” he told The Salt Lake Tribune. “What I created got abominated.”
Now when we aren't not whinging, we often are whinging but Ralph doesn't feel the need (or it wasn't reported) quite what he finds disgraceful. Tom Nook's prices and stock rotation? The outrageous camping that goes on in Team Fortress 2? Nauseating DRM? Too many busty women in games? Not enough women working in games? The Water Temple in OoT? The fact that Rogue Squadron 2 boots you all the way back to the menu screen every time you fail a mission? That no other video game does water better than Baldur's Gat…

Not the normal whinge

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We whinge too much. One of the things we whinge about is how game retailers don't seem to be able to distinguish their mid arm ginglymus from their midrectum aperture when it comes to the business of selling games.

In the immortal words of Chief Brian Irons, whose hobby used to be taxidermy "BUT NO LONGER".


We're so happy we even busted out a de-motivational poster and a Resident Evil 2 quote just like it were 2005 all over again.

MCV talk to Robert Hennessy, John Lewis' new games buyer and he be talking a whole lotta sense. Including a Nintendo Shop at John Lewis' flagship store, just around the corner from the hit-and-miss flagship GAME store. In a word, FUCK YES and in more words ABOUT TIME.

Modern Borefare

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Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 is out very very soon. It'll no doubt sell well, there may be news stories about how many millions of pounds people shirking their day at work to play it will cost the economy. We however, could not care about one of gaming's biggest annual events.

Way back when, we were fans of Call of Duty, Brothers in Arms and Medal of Honour. The historical focus appealed to us. This was when FPS still worked off the Doom format. There was shooting to be done, "keycards" to be found, missions to be completed and if that wasn't enough the couch co-op wasn't too bad.

Things changed with this:


Showing its' age now, astonishing how much things have changed since 2002. I remember the first time I played through this, my mind was blown. It was unlike any experience I had in gaming before, incredibly exciting and powerful especially given the basis of this level on real events of the D-day landing. On a second and third playthrough however, it is …

L.A. Noire: A re-review

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So I did it, I got the full 1400GP for LA. Noire. And as such I'm gonna do a retrospective review of this game. First Up, the game is not that hard, in fact it is so easy that you can actually choose to skip all the action and driving sections. However from an achievement point of view; the game is long winded, and honestly some of the achievements feel very tacked on. For instance, one achievement is to drive all 95 vehicles in the game. Now, if you have ever seen the game you could identify, a taxi, a police car and a bus, but every other fucking vehicle in that game is either a) a car, or b) a convertible car. Trying to differentiate those cars was a bitch and racked me up some youtube time, and annoyingly one car actually does not spawn anywhere in the game, the only way to get it is during a case and you walk out into a parking lot, when you are not meant to... Another horrible tacked on achievement was the hidden packages one... Fifty Hidden packages all round the map, and …

I Love Dead Rising

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We buy EDGE. We read EDGE. We are EDGE readers. Randy Smith writes for EDGE. We've previously wished that Randy Smith didn't write for EDGE. However, we may have to renege our wishes because he has written a nice article about Why Dead Rising Stands Out From The Horde.

As with all good game writing h e has perfectly enshrined my thoughts into words, thoughts I didn't realise I had until I read this.

I love Dead Rising (including the Wii port). Randy sums up why. It's that feeling of me against the Horde. The way I play the game changes from moment to moment. I might be trying to save survivors, I might without really noticing it, decide to eradicate all the zombies from a particular area. I might just stroll about the casino/mall checking out the environment but always with one eye on the nearest group of goons. I know what I want to do and most of the times there's hundreds of zombies in between me and my own personal objective. Things go well I move on to the next …

LIVE BLOGGING LEGEND OF ZELDA TWILIGHT PRINCESS!

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It starts! Batteries, check. Wii check. Component cable showing green? No. Sort of? Eventually fixed.
We're in.
To start press A+B. Why. Why not A or B? Save file has been created. Pretty interesting stuff so far.
Choose name- Dink. Winner. Dink and Apony. Epic adventures.

Water is not as good as Baldur's Gate (better than Wow though).
Spirits. Talking about spirits. There's a man with a moon face. It's tough. We're in Hyrule again. We know that much.
TRIVIA: The first horse you see doesn't have a penis. We were both looking for it too.
Ugh Goat herding. Squirrels. Red colour's gone looks like Gears now. Games been paused to sort out the issue with the colour red.
Tits! She's washed our penisless horse. Discussion about whether Dink is mute or not. Sex of Apony confirmed by tits.
We have to play an instrument already. This is one of the things we hate about LoZ. On the upside we're riding a horse. Apony to be specific.
We've herded some goats and held a …

Legend of Zelda Twiglet Princess

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This is not the exciting exclusive announcement we announced in yesterday's announcement announcement.

Last week we were grumble grumble grumble grots about the new Legend of Zelda game. This is not fitting of the World's Second Greatest Video Game Blog of all time as proved by SCIENCE. So we're going to man up and give it a shot. We're comfortable enough in our sexualities to admit when we may have been hasty or wrong. In fact, I might really enjoy throwing boomerangs or throwing those pathetic little bombs about?

This evening, along with fellow LoZ hater and extremely occassional contributor Chuff_72 we've decided to give Legend of Zelda Twiglet Princess a go. It is only fair. Apparently, this lady is in it?


Why doesn't she wear shoes? We might even live blog it. We say 'might' because we might not get past the first five minutes if Link insists on making that horrible noise he makes. Then that wouldn't make for a great blog at all.

Exciting exclusive announcement

PREVIEW: EXCLUSIVE: We've got an announcement to make: at some point in the future we will be announcing something. Maybe a countdown clock. Maybe we'll finish our TGAM top 50 ultimate TGAM top games best list of best games of all time ever, maybe we'll announce another gaming celebrity? Stay tuned to our constant stream of announcement announcements through all of those social networking sites you are on!