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Showing posts from March, 2011

3DS features nobody will be using in six months time

The predictions are in. Remember the GBA-GC controller and the four games that used it? Remember the proto street-pass thing in Nintendogs and Dragon Quest and pretty much only in those two games? Wasn't playing your own music in Endless Ocean great? Shame that didn't take off. Here's the tech that will probably be dropped almost instantaneously by gamers and developers on the new 3DS:

Street Pass- Fine for Japan where gamers actually congregate. Virtually useless here.
Backwards compatibility- Expect this to be dropped with the 3DSlite or the equivalent.
Augmented reality Fun the first four or five times and for showing non-gamers how fun the 3DS is. Doubt there will be a sixth time.
3D messaging Remember those three messages you sent via the wii message board? Expect more of the same here.
Video content Ever played music through the wii or even visited the photo channel? Nah thought not.

Call us bitter but c'mon face it. This gimmickery is fine for filling up the 10 page p…

At Last Someone Speaks The Truth

'You can't blame people for buying pre-owned' yoinked from MCV. The CEO of Saber Interactive (?) comes out saying that games are quite expensive so you can't expect gamers to not trade in older titles.

Meh, I don't really see that as the main problem behind the pre-owned market. After all, games of any worth are normally kept hold of but you can't blame people from trading in when format turnover makes older games so obsolete so quickly. Also, our personal little bugbear is that there's literally no other way to buy games pushing a year old because they're out of print and off of shelves. Digital distribution is one answer to this but I see the problem as easily solvable by actually supporting your products beyond launch week. Cunts.

I didn't cry until the Streets of Rage 2 End Theme Played

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The rise of casual and social 'games' had us feeling a bit chipper. The brownanising, teenarisation and grittisation of all console games only caused a waver in our shit eating grin. Hell, it only took us a cup of tea to get over this new fad for making games shit to play with 3D but the camels back is broken. Sad days indeed UK Resistance has finally closed its doors.


Genuinely funny and in a knowing way UK resistance even in these latter years remained a benchmark for both enjoying gaming and acknowledging the sad sorry state of affairs that gaming is in. Properly funny too, not "Monkey Island" funny (funnier than everything else doesn't necessarily mean funny at all) or Zero Punctuation funny. But it's over now. That's it. Gaming as we know it is dead. We've known it for a while. Modern games try to compensate by giving out achievements for walking down corridors or by showing us tits and gore that twelve year old us would have found fascinating but…

If I'm Gonna Stare At Something For Hours On End It Might As Well Be A Woman's Ass

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Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuullllllllshit. I call bullshit on this oft quoted excuse for men playing as female characters. Because in most games you rarely look at your character, you're focused on the environment, stuff and things. Also, depending on how you associate with your various avatars it's kinda creepy to perve on the character that you are playing. SO here's the reasons why, given a choice I'll probably play as a female character. ITS ALL ABOUT ME HOLMES.
Male Characters Are Boring. Dull, dull, dull. Chinned stubbly affairs driven by revenge or sometimes sheer gruffness. The mind numbing you-aren't-kidding-anyone shit that leaves their mouth, normally with a voice like a 40 a day batman with an acute throat infection, is nothing any man has ever knowingly uttered apart from actors in exciting action films with awful plots. More often than not they are the default character too. The guy will have the standard punch and the standard gun. The…

Resident Evil Revival Selection HD Remastered Version

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"Resident Evil Revival Selection HD Remastered Version"
Yep that is the name of it! It is going to be released on 360 and PS3. It contains Resident evil 4 (and the parting ways Ada side missions) and Resident Evil Code Veronica!

Well Isn't that nice? I have played Resi4 on Gamecube, Wii, PS2, PC, and now I can play it on my 360! AND on top of that get some classic "Code: Veronica" on the go!

In saying that though... I kinna which we would get RE1/RE2/RE3 resurrected...

Might happen!

Lickers and Bandersnatches

Richie X

Quick! Provide Content. Anything Will Do.

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This statement made us LOL over at Penny Arcade in a post in response to bum-slap-gate or whatever it will be called until something else comes up:

"I shot Gabriel once with a shrink ray, and he used his jetpack to fly out the window like an insect. Fifteen years ago. Still talking about it, about scenarios that to this day no game has managed to top."

It's stuff like this that is gaming gold. I know how that's funny and I wasn't even there, nor do I know either of them that well and I probably played one of the Dukes once. I remember shooting pigs and being worried if anyone saw me watching a 6 x 6 pink pixel with red pixel underwear gyrating around a pole. That is what used to pass for titillation. I can't say that recent gaming has come up with any of those emergent bits that have you giggling so hard your ribs hurt. This maybe because I don't spend half as much time playing games so statistically I can't expect it to happen. It's possibly becaus…

Vikings

Clint Hocking writes an inspired column comparing the games industry to Viking raiders in this month's EDGE. I suggest you read it.

In other gaming news that I've got anything to say about: Pokedex 67.

We Dare Pulled at the 11th hour.

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We dare, is a risqué party game akin to "Truth or Dare" but without the truth part, essentially a collection of suggestive minigames: (I actually find this pic quite hypnotic) (She puts the wii mote in her *ahem* waistband, then he spanks her)
Despite the ad campaign which is a bunch of attractive bored swingers this game has been slated by the Tabloids the Sun states:  A RAUNCHY Nintendo Wii game for kids as young as 12 Well, firstly , its also available for the PS3, and frankly the Move controller has much nicer rounder edges for insertion and whatnot and secondly the rating on it is 12+ it does not mean that it is the target demographic.
Lastly, why pull the game? why not up the rating? or last why not deal wit hit, its a bit bawdy but, we all know you'd just end up sitting on the sofa flicking your wrist to get through all the mini-games.
And frankly any 12 year old interested in this game, is probably already up to much worse than tame "dares". Its called parenti…

Pokemon Black and White: Initial thoughts

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Pokemon Black and White are out and will undoubtedly top various sales charts. A common complaint about the game is that throughout all the various different versions since 1996 the game hasn't really changed that much. This is largely true, the 400 games since then have only added to and refined the original ideas. So how does the fifth generation fare? Well here's a list.



1) Not broken but fixed anyway. The last three generations and their various sister and companion games have been very fickle when it comes to features. The love/hate competitions, where you pit your pokemon in dancing and dressing up competitions appeared in ruby/sapphire, disappeared for fire red/leaf green came back in Pearl/Diamond and then vanished from Soul Silver/Heart Gold for example. Other features that were good but were cut were the vs. seeker, the pokewalker, the poke radar and most recently your lead pokemon no longer follows you around. Which is a shame. Not only was it nice to have your chum…

Post-emon?

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The Norwegian Postal service logo looks like a pokeball.
That is all.
Logos and balls,
Richie X

Lost to Pokemon.

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So all of our readers we complaining about the lack of updates... Well its inexcusable I know. BUT in our defence there is Marvel vs Capcom to play through. And frankly dear readers, we have bad news, Pokemon Black & White is out, and we are already playing our little hearts out. So just be aware there will be updates, but more than likely it will be along the lines of:

OMG, JUST GOT DESTROYED BT THE 1ST GYM LEADER CHEATY POKEMON! JUST CAUGHT A BIDOOF FML ZOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMGGGGGG SHINY!!!! etc etc.
(Not really, we have just had some pish IRL stuff, we'll be back on track, using the word "cunt" soon)
Black and White,
Richie X