Saturday, August 29, 2009

Team: Richie

Team Richie

Garchomp - Dragon/Ground

- Earthquake
- Dragon Claw
- Fire Fang
- Crunch
EVs: 4 HP / 252 Att / 252 Speed
Choice band/Metronome

Dragonite - Dragon/Flying

- Dragon Dance
- Outrage
- Thunder Punch
- Fire Punch
EVs: 4 HP / 252 Att / 252 Speed
Lum Berry

Salamence - Dragon/Flying

- Draco Meteor
- Flamethrower
- Toxic
- Roost
EVs: 212 HP / 44 S.Att / 252 S.Def

Metagross - Steel/Psychic

- Meteor Mash
- Earthquake
- Rest
- Sleep talk
EVs: 252 HP/ 100 Def / 158 S.Def
Leftovers/Shell bell

Gyrados - Water/Flying

- Dragon Dance
- Waterfall
- Ice Fang
- Stone Edge
EVs: 4 HP / 252 Att / 252 Speed
Life Orb

Magmortar - Fire

- Flamethrower
- Thunderbolt
- Confuse ray
- Fire Blast
EVs: 252 S.Att/ 252 S.Def/ 4 Speed
Choice Scarf/Specs

Togekiss - Normal/Flying

- Thunder wave
- Air Slash
- Aura sphere
- Metronome
EVs: 252 HP/ 4 S.Att/ 252 S.Def
Leftovers/Shell bell

Flygon - Ground/Dragon

- Earthquake
- Dragon Claw
- Crunch
- Screech
EVs: 4 HP / 252 Att / 252 Speed
Life Orb/Leichi berry

Gardevoir - Psychic

- Energy Ball
- Psychic
- Double Team (Banned)
- Calm mind
EVs: 4 HP / 252 S.Att / 252 Speed
Choice scarf

Absol - Dark

- Night Slash
- Psycho cut
- Perish song
- Swords dance
EVs: 252 Att/ 100 Def/ 158 S.Def
Life Orb/Choice band

Froslass - Ice/Ghost

- Ice Beam
- Shadowball
- Destiny Bond
- Hail (Banned)
EVs: 4 HP / 252 S.Att / 252 Speed
Life Orb/Choice Specs

Dunsparce - Normal

- Thunder wave
- Bite
- Headbutt
- Roost
EVs: 252 HP / 252 Att / 4 Def
Leftovers/Shell bell

Ok so this is my crop of level 100's. Some I'm happy with, some I'm not. The first few pokemon I EV trained, I was a bit of a n00b (Magmortar), despite all this he is a strong Pokemon.

So I have been toying with different combo's, match-ups, move spreads, Stats spread, and all of this whilst trying to keep in mind what sort of Pokemon Cunzy is going to throw at me. But thanks to the efforts of TGAM Double agent Rob_is_Gay, I was reputably informed that Cunzy would have Omastar (surprise!), Tropius, Togekiss, Gardevoir, Girafarig. As much as this screams an advantage for me, unfortunately I have enough type coverage in my arsenal, that I really don't care what he throws at me. As such, my team stays the same.

Dragon Team.

1. Dragonite.
Cunzy will be expecting me to open up with a damage soaker of some sort, and I'm pretty sure he will do the same, so I will be trying to use this to my advantage burn off a couple of Dragon Dances to outrun anything he has and get a healthy boost to Outrage, I have a feeling my Lum Berry may be activated before the confusion effect of Outrage kicks in as I have a feeling Cunzy will be quite status effect heavy. Anyway Dragonite despite his type coverage will be my Gun-ho All out attack, taking as many down as possible at the start.

2. Salamence.
Will be the Special attack counter, Throwing out toxic and healing himself, with Flamethrower and a Risky Draco Meteor for added damage support. My only worries are a Physical Ice/Rock attack.

3. Garchomp.
Straight up physical attacker, choice banded or otherwise he will still destroy anything in his path. His support for flying types unfortunately is only a STAB Dragon claw.

4. Flygon.
A bulkier, version of Garchomp really, with Leichi berry, he will get some heath back, he will also have screech to destroy any potential defence walls.

5. Gyrados.
Yet another Physical sweeper, with a broader spectrum of moves, same as Dragonite, set-up Dragon dance, and Sweep away.

6. Dunsparce.
This guy is my absolute favorite, I loved every moment levelling him up, he is what as classed as a para-flincher, This is where you paralyse the enemy, thus making them automatically slower than you, and force them to take hits which cause them to flinch (unable to attack), I also have togekiss who is arguably better at this as he has better type coverage, and infinitely better stats. However I'm runnng with him, this little underdog would provide the best humiliation possible.

Wish me luck.

Richie XXX.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

They should probably sue Sony

'Free lads' have been arrested for mimicking drive-bys using a 'PlayStation Gun'. The beeb knows the score.

"The gun was found to be a silver plastic PlayStation gun. "

Shoddy reporting from the beeb. Was it a G-con? A G-con 2? G-con 3? Or was it a MadCatz pile of shit? Either way the boys should sue Sony because there is fuck all you can do with a PlayStation light gun these days so what other option do kids have after purchasing expensive peripherals that are in no way supported by new platforms.

In unrelated news:
Here is a list of light gun games for the PlayStation and PlayStation 2 you cannot play on the PS3.

Area 51 (Justifier)
Crypt Killer (Justifier)
Die Hard Trilogy (Justifier)
Die Hard Trilogy 2: Viva Las Vegas (Justifier/Guncon)
Elemental Gearbolt (Justifier/GunCon)
Extreme Ghostbusters: Ultimate Invasion (GunCon)
Ghoul Panic (GunCon)
Gunfighter: The Legend of Jesse James (GunCon)
Judge Dredd (GunCon)
Lethal Enforcers 1&2 (Justifier)
Maximum Force (Justifier/GunCon)
Mighty Hits Special (JPN, GunCon)
Moorhuhn series (GunCon)
Point Blank series (GunCon)
Project Horned Owl (Justifier)
Rescue Shot (GunCon)
Resident Evil: Gun Survivor (JPN/PAL versions) (GunCon)
Time Crisis (GunCon)
Time Crisis: Project Titan (GunCon)
Death Crimson OX+ (JP) aka Guncom 2 (EU)
Dino Stalker (EU/NA) aka Gun Survivor 3: Dino Crisis (JP)
Gunfighter 2 (EU only)
Gunvari Collection + Time Crisis (JP only)
Ninja Assault
Police 24/7 * Also uses a USB Camera (EU/JP Only)
Resident Evil: Dead Aim (EU/NA) aka Gun Survivor 4 Biohazard: Heroes Never Die (JP)
Resident Evil: Survivor 2 Code: Veronica (EU) aka Gun Survivor 2 Biohazard Code: Veronica (JP)
Starsky and Hutch
Time Crisis: Crisis Zone
Time Crisis II
Time Crisis 3
Vampire Night
Virtua Cop: Elite Edition (EU) aka Virtua Cop Re-Birth (JP)

Here is a list of light gun games you can play on the PS3
Time Crisis 4 (Guncon 3) (Namco, 2007) 6/10 game at best.

Gotta love backwards compatability! And yes, we can and will keep this up until the PS3 is discontinued (ETD December 2009).

Monday, August 24, 2009

Peripheral Vision

Is there any other title for a blog post or article even remotely (giggle) related to peripherals?

Decisions decisions

Back in the day, my gamer friends and I would fantasize about displaying our collection of video game stuff in the unlikely event that any of us could afford more than a rabbit hutch house in the future. Amongst an ever changing set up to the inevitable gaming room the wall of peripherals was something we were particularly keen on.

It would be a cross between a museum display case and a weapons cache that you see in spy movies showing off all the various peripherals that have been available over the years. Of course the recent industry in producing crap wiimote holders went and ruined the whole thing.

However, if it was ever to happen BIG GAME HUNTER 2010 would totally be a justifiable purchase.

It's coming straight for us!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009



Let's do a "Guardian"

Fail whale can fuck off too
Social networking sites are great. Instead of getting information about useful things written by people who at least had some training in writing (English degrees anyway) we now get information in a huge uncontrollable torrent with the geniune interesting bits mixed in with all the shit. Finding genuine information is like finding a shoe or a filled condom in a sewage treatment plant.

We're all for it and here we are contributing to that torrent right now with this very post but it seems that even bigger traditional media like TV and Newspapers, resigned to the fact that the idiot millions will break every news story ever in their own trite fashion before them, have flip-reversed it and now report what is happening in the world today by checking twitter and facebook.

4 year old stabbed to death in the street? Not sad or news worthy until there's a facebook tribute page. Amazing wonders of the natural world? Not until it hits the "major trending topics on twitter".

Not to be the ones left out we've decided to do a "Guardian" by sitting on our fat asses and F5ing twitter reporting anything vaguely related to something we know about (gaming) and report it as news.

So, here is the news:

According to janigb9lu Call of Duy 4 "UFO Hack" is getting out of hand!

Redmage19 "still tends to play mostly on her DS, even though the bigger consoles also have great games. Her only gaming time is commuting time". Fascinating stuff I think you will agree!

Pclloh has seen Fatal1ty practising in the QL area and asks "Is he back". We'll be honest we didn't know he was away. But is he back?

Darthdoull was supposed to be going to a video gaming competition but is going to have to miss it for undisclosed reasons.

LATEST JUST IN FROM Alantocheri "More so, but not really. For the amount of gaming I do, my Wii is fine". More what so? How much gaming does he do? Was his Wii broken. Literally no idea.

JRSchramm shocks the world with "People pay well if you give good Blow Jobs i just got a ten dollar tip at a video game store. Life = Awesomesauce"

Echofolsom gets deep with his insight "An issue with gamer librarians building video game programs is the influence of nostalgia on collection development."

We could do this all day. We could do this all day and still be as bored as when we started. We could copy and paste thousands of these and still not keep ahead of the twats on twatter. In the time it took me to write that last line 36 more news results for "video game" came in. We could do this, insert some long words in between the pointless moronic observations and publish it and it distribute it across the UK. We could call it "G2" or "The London Paper" or "The Bizarre section in the sun". We could make a TV show about the latest from Twitter and call it, oh I don't know BBC News. We could call ourselves journalists and think we're all much young and savvy and fully justified in ending up in media because there's fuck all else to do with an English degree by simply commenting on what some twit on twatter said. We won't though because it would be fucking boring and a crime against humanity. So stop it. All of you. Just stop it.

BREAKING NEWS! Aervane: Alright, it's tournament time. If we win this one, that'll count as my first ever non-video-game winning streak. I'm psyched.

TGAM top 50 ultimate TGAM top games best list of best games of all time ever: Number 41

We didn't forget. We were working on it all the time. Yeah that's right.

Anyway, number 41 on our list of the TGAM top 50 ultimate TGAM top games best list of best games of all time ever, well, it is none other than Johnny-come-lately Resident Evil 5.

Unlike all the other Resident Evil games on this list, this game is new. That is why it is so low on this list. What kind of elitist list making pricks would we be if we put a new game in the top 40? No kind. That is what we would be.

Resident Evil 5 was a departure from the classic series. Staple enemies like white male skinny zombie, white woman skinny zombie, fat man zombie and spanish people was replaced with just black people in this iteration of the classic survival horror series. For the first couple of chapters anyway. Then it was gas mask people. The game received stacks of criticism and some flip reversed racism against Japanese people for it's perceived racism. Then the game came out and everyone kind of got over it. That is the great thing about the great gaming nation of ours. Everything is so transient. So fickle. Forgotten in weeks.

The game itself was actually quite good despite including the following sins: Crates and boxes, enemies in crates, crappy co-op loading up the level then loading up player 2, 70% of the screen used, casual sexism and casual racism. A few reviewers complained about the akward inventory system but those reviewers are proper noobs. Noobs. Some people complained that you still couldn't move and shoot. Those people are no-scoping fags. It's just simply the best co-op game of all time. There was also a nude cheat for Sheva which is cool because you can see her boobies and they jiggled when she ran.

The game was just brilliant in fact. More brilliant than:

42: Wii Play Tanks!
43: Ed Fedemeyer's Haunted Maze
44: Resident Evil "gay den"
45: Final Fantasy VIII
46: Resident Evil Genesis
47: Dino Crisis 3
48: Dead Rising
49: Resident Evil Confidential Report File 1
50: Biohazard 4D Executer

Less brilliant than ...... Well you'll have to just wait and see won't cha?

This post is kindly sponsored by Metal Powder. For more information about Metal Powder and Metal powder related products please go to the metal powder products website
Metal Fucking Powder significantly better than soil, clay and wood powder and the prefered powder of 9/10* Cosmo readers. *based on a survey of 4.5 people

Definitive: Now no reason to buy a PS3

No reason now that backwards compatability is off the cards altogether.

That is all.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Omastar comics #24

OCs fans may recognise this comic as Omastar Comics 11 but with a different last panel.

This was the original ending to this comic but when we ran it past test audiences they reacted pretty negatively towards it even with the ace black sludge cameo. We agonised for hours over it but decided to cut it for the final release. This version accidentally slipped into our display at Comic Con last year and the feedback from the fans was overwhelmingly positive, which shows you should stick to your gut feeling. This is by far my favourite ending and as you can see with this original ending Omastar's comments in panel 2 now make more sense.

Due to the credit crunch it's getting harder to get the A-listers to appear in these. Hence this cheap rerun. Sorry guys but on the budget allocation we've currently got we're talking at talent around the Stantler level. Seriously. And it costs more if we want them to say anything.

In other gaming news:

Left 4 Dead 2- Yeah but is it really any better than Resident Evil Outbreak file 2?
Madden again- Which means that all the US gaming sites become boring and unintelligible for a month or two.
Resident Evil 5- Still playing and loving it.

Thursday, August 13, 2009


Once you green light using negative stereotypes to convey message there is no going back. TGAM strikes back against this ridiculous facade.

Spot the difference!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

If I told you to hum the Route 209 would you get it right?

Here at TGAM it is well documented that we are fans of the Pokémon series of games. Massive fans. Huge. There are literally not enough words in this sentence to even scratch the surfaceof the thousands of words, hundreds of articles, thoughts, webcomics, fan fiction, sillyness, nerd rages and forum comments that we've made in the past about Nintendo's Marmite monster catching game (actually there are. There are enough words. Too many if truth be told).

But what we never explained is that for the last 13 years we've been playing the game that revolves around trading and fighting Pokémon with opponents in a total vacuum. We've spent days worth of hours training up Pokémon that have never been tested against a single real live opponent. So not only is the whole activity all a bit sad, geeky, weird, embarrassing in social situations, something we should have grown out of/never got into in the first place, not meant for us, a grind, a way of wasting money ever couple of years but it has all been utterly pointless. Until now....

Let it be known that at the end of August, TGAM, Richie and Cunzy1 1 will be partaking in an epic duel to the death, 6 vs 6, Pearl vs Diamond. The term epic is banded around the internet rather carelessly but this battle has been more than ten years in the making and thousands of hours of effort. We've have been spending the last remaining weeks before this battle training up teams of 6 level 100s to match up against each other.

Most of our time has been spent on the elusive task of “Effort Value training” and for those of you who don’t know, simply defeating certain types of Pokémon will contribute to the stats of the Pokémon. If you care, there are countless websites everywhere.

Right now we are actually in the middle of a contrition war of analysing specifically which Pokémon/moves the other will be using. It’s rather fun actually.

For those of you who don't know, (how?) Pokémon started off on the Gameboy, it is essentially just a jRPG but instead of a tream of pre-rolled classes you go out into the world. and catch your team of Pokémon and train them up. The plot of the game(s) are essentially to run through the game, thwarting the plans of a generic evil company who are using Pokémon as tools rather than pitching them in fights with one and other caring for them. Once you do that you take part in a one on one tournament and get deemed the "champion". However this is FAR from the end of the game, once you have done this, you now have the opportunity to try and "catch 'em all", all 493. and from these 493 Pokémon you can then decide to train some up for competitive play. Which is pretty much what me and Cunzy have been doing for the last couple of years, no reason, we don't take place in world tournaments, We don't play Battle revolution online (yet). We have mainly been training up Pokémon for an inevitable clash.

For many gamers Pokémon is a love/hate franchise and players are put off by the cutesy appearance of characters and the shameless marketing aimed at children who demand Pokémon merchandise from parents who don't understand the Pokémon universe or how it all works. If it was this simple, then sure we would be the first to snarkly scorn Nintendo. The truth is, the merchandise fluff aside, is that the RPG at the heart of the series is actually quite deep. Constructing a team of Pokémon is no mean feat it is not as simple as just catching the best six and having an unbeatable team. The mechanics of the game are quite complex here is a quick run off of things that contribute to the meta game:

  • Catching and Hatching the bloody things in the first place. There a 493 of the buggers and almost as many different ways you have to go about getting them. Some you find roaming around in the wild. Others you have to buy and complete a whole separate game on a completely different console to get.
  • Each Pokémon is different. Interspecific variation is the obvious way in which pokémon vary but intraspecific variation needs careful consideration if you are breeding for battles or contests. Once you've taken into account gender, level, nature, individual values (a pokémon's genetic identity), movesets, abilities, egg moves, type, colour, EV training, growth rates and item combinations, there are infinite variations.
  • Types. Mentioned above, the type system is best described, if we were fans of using the term "on acid" as paper, scissors, stone on acid. Each pokémon has one or two types and can have up to four moves, each of which has it's own type. There are thirteen types in total. So fire is super effective against grass. It does twice the amount of damage. Grass is super effective against water and water is super effective against grass. Simple right? Except when dual types come into play. Each type matches up differently with other types and attacks are boosted if used by a pokémon of that type. Also, some types are completely immune to other types and on top of all this some pokémon have abilities which affect or negate any bonuses or hindrances that might come from move types. If you are finding this hard to follow, good this is some indication of how complicated and tricky it can get putting a team together or worse, trying to anticipate the kind of team an opponent might put together and how your team might match up against it.
  • Training. Unlike, the jolly life affirming exploits in the anime training in true RPG fashion is a fucking grind and requires some careful planning, occasionally luck and a smidgen of skill. The level cap for Pokémon is level 100. Pokémon can be caught in the wild from levels 2-100 or you can get two pokémon to mate to produce an egg once that egg is hatched you end up with a level 1 pokémon. Leveling a pokémon is a simple case of battling against wild pokémon or pokémon owned by an AI trainer. Leveling a pokémon to level 100 takes hours but is quite easily accomplished. Leveling a pokémon to level 100 when every aspect of it's training has been taken into account from before it's even hatched (natures and movesets are affected by the parents) to when it dings 100 (its final moveset and its EVs) is a huge undertaking. Various items are available to make this process easier but you have to locate those items in the first instance. To get a team of six of these hand reared monsters is a mission.

But enough mechanics, so far we have set some rules for the grand clash:

1. No Legendary Pokémon. (Articuno, Zapdos, Moltres, Mewtwo, Mew etc.)

2. No Cheaty Pokémon. (Blissey, Milotic, Lucario, Wobbuffet)

3. No Cheaty combinations (Skarmbliss etc. etc.)

4. No Duplicate held Items. (i.e. you cant have a team with 6 leftovers)

5. No Evasion/Accuracy moves.

To Be Continued...

Next Step, the Wiibrator.

Ok so Again I'm shamelessly stealing from Kotaku.

These are images from a patented Nintendo Peripheral which is an inflatable pillow, designed for "horse racing" games, oh yeah!

You know what, fuck it, I'll leave this to your own imagination, you filthy, filthy people.

Yours Equestrianly,

Richie XXX

Wanker of the Week

falahda 10 Aug 09, 1:17am

A thirty-eight year old Nintendo player can't really claim the high ground from which to criticize lightsaber phones, Charlton.

From over on the Guardian website. It explains itself really. And she is an Anthropologist. And 37. And female. And American.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Namco Bandi might be the new Capcom.

I don't mean like Pac-Man or other scheisse like that I mean some of their recent additions to the 360 and maybe some of the Wii titles, though one of the greatest things about the Namco Bandai games is how pretty they are, So I wouldn't recommend playing them on the underpowered inbred cousin of the next gen consoles.

I just had a look at some of the games I games I have, and I noticed that I have too many Namco Bandai titles and they are pretty much my favourites.

Beautiful Katamari

Yeah you all know it, the little green dude that collect things till they get bigger and bigger. As much as I'm put of by all the twats out there with their knitted Katamari hats to put on their cats, the game is still fun. Though A reskin would be nice.

Soulcalibur IV

Swords, boobs and Jedis... I think I have talked enough about this previously.

Naruto: Rise of a Ninja & Naruto: Broken Bonds

Meh, good games, great fighting, great animation, but most folks who have not seen the anime wont really care about this game.

Eternal Sonata

Ok this is a tough one, everything about this game is brilliant the mechanics, graphics, EXCEPT maybe the story. The Dialogue seems geared for a 6 year old, it is broken up with educational bits on Chopins life which sticks out like a sore thumb, the saving grace for all this is that you can just skip them

Tales of Vesperia

Ok this was the game that tipped me off to my potential Namco Bandi Fanboyism. I fucking love this game, it is perhaps the best RPG/Game I have ever played. The Active battles are pretty much what Sqeenix would like to try and pull off, but cant. Seriously fuck the entire Final Fantasy Series, this game is the Daddy (better than FF7). There are so many plus points, the game gets 10/10 for aesthetics and mechanics, and the dialogue is GENUINELY FUNNY!.

My only gripe with this game is that the fucking PS3 version is getting so many additions which may actually bump this game to an 11/10. Unprecedented.

So yeah this what the PS3 version is getting:

* Full voice acting
* Tie-ins with Tales of Vesperia: The First Strike.
* New playable character (Patty Fleur)
* Flynn as a fully customizable, playable character
* Repede and Flynn as selectable on-screen avatars
* New cutscenes
* New subplots
* New main game quests
* New sidequests
* New songs
* New towns
* Remodeled towns
* New dungeons
* New bosses (including the Sword Dancer)
* Boss fight replays at Nam Cobanda Isle (in an area called the Door of Memories)
* New Overlimit Levels 5 and 6[16]
* New Hi Ougi/Mystic Artes (including a dual Mystic Arte with Yuri and Flynn)
* New Artes
* New Skills
* New Equipment
* A Key Item known as the "Artes Ball," which allows characters to assign up to 8 Artes to the left stick, and 8 Arte Shortcuts to the right stick for a new maximum of 16 Artes.
* New Costumes
* New Skits
* A scene-skip feature
* Connectivity with Tales of VS
* Pre-Order Bonus (Abyss character costumes for Yuri, Flynn, and Estelle)

Which pretty much means I'm getting a PS3. Seriously. BEST. GAME. EVER.

Namco Bandi might be the new Capcom...

Another Namco Bandai title I should probably mention is Tekken 6. It's not out yet, but you know, It's Tekken, It'll get bought!

Namcoing out.


New SI Unit approaching!

In the past humanity has got by with descriptions of the passing of time using the seconds, minutes, hours etc. units of time measurement.

However, today TGAM is proud to launch a new unit for the measurement of time.

It is the TTECNK. Which stands for Time it Takes the Escapist to Copy News from Kotaku. It is pronounced Time it Takes the Escapist to Copy News from Kotaku and is the standard measurement of time it takes writers at the Escapist to copy and paste news articles which Kotaku stole from around the web and to publish them. It is equivalent to 'about six hours' in the previous units used to measure time.

Here's some tips on how to use the new unit in conversation:

"I haven't seen you in three TTECNKs"

"It was a short game it only took me a TTECNK"

"She only lasted for 1/20th of a TTECNK before climaxing. And to think I'd waited 2920 TTECNKs for it"

That is all.

Let's do more with the Wiimote

Okay kids. Wiimote has been around for quite a while and using it to waggle has been a staple use of it so far. Let's just say the pulse sensor thing hasn't exactly set us alight and wii motion plus is a bit of a rip off. ANy avid Wii gamer will now have a wii wheel, zapper, other attachments and wii speak. All of which work with one maybe two games. Either way by now every Wii owner has four wiimotes. Why don't games do some more creative things with them? You want free ideas here's some:

Once again TGAM original artwork coming atcha. It's not supposed to be his legs they are wiimotes on a belt! See

1) FPS and on-rail shooters.
So we've had Red Steel, House of the Dead Overkill and Resident Evil Umbrella Chronicles. They were fun but why insist on pressing the d-pad to change weapon? Players should be able to map wiimotes 1-4 to different weapons. Want to change from pistol to shotgun? Just drop wiimote one and point wiimote 3 in a wii zapper at the screen. Voila! The shotgun pops up. It disappoints me that FPS on the Wii haven't done the popping up gun affect it is the simplest thing to do and adds to the immersion and you can't do it on any other system. Want to triple wield? Then just point wiimotes 1,2 and 4 at the screen at the same time and fire away. Simple.

2)Someone, somewhere just do a proper fucking light sabre please?
Just make it a dueling game with online play, character customisation, leaderboards, snapshots and saved replays. Instant winner. You could even use two wiimotes to dual wield or sell an attachment that links two together for a Darth Maul type affair.

3)Alternatively do a quick draw game.
Easy peasy. Make it Wiiware, leaderboards, character customisation etc. Do dual wielding as well (see where I am going with this?).

4) More Wiimote/balance board combinations please.
Skiing is obvious and boring. How about a version of armoured core where wiimotes 1 and 2 represent each of your arms and you can do clunky stomping about using the balance board. Make it with online play, character customisation, leaderboards, snapshots and saved replays. Instant winner.

5)Wiimote/Wii Wheel combinations.
Firing from a car is not as easy as Grand Theft Auto makes out. Make a Mario Kart game using the wii wheel and then incorporate another wiimote to use as a weapon (gun etc.) or perhaps a stick to stick into other players wheel spokes. In fact this might work better as a futuristic jousting game. The wheel controls the robot horse and the wiimote becomes your lance. Make it with online play, character customisation, leaderboards, snapshots and saved replays. Instant winner.

Those are just five ideas I came up with just now. Without giving it any proper thought. Come on Wii devs. Let's try to do more than waggling/remote controller set ups. Yeah?

Horrid person

If you are here you have clicked on a horrible weblink. Whilst you are here, think about your mother and the thing you just clicked on. Would she be happy she raised you, her son/daughter, so you could click on some filthy filth filth. Of all the content on the internet, the greatest thoughts on the whole range of human activity and the best you can manage is looking up "Sonic Upskirt" or some such. Be ashamed. Be so ashamed or just go to deviant art.

Monday, August 03, 2009

Sacred 2: What the fucking fuck is wrong with you?

In my recent spat to play through as many Couch co-op games as I can get my hands on, I came across this little doosey:

Never heard of it? Nah me neither. It seems to have gone completely under the radar. Hell I never heard of Sacred 1, but hey it was a PC only release, so why should we care?

Anyways after scouring the internet for information regarding this title I found out a few things: it is essentially a Diablo clone, It has six "pre-rolled" classes And they are pretty funky actually.

First we have the Seraphim, Some kinna Demi-gods with Pigtails and Kiss make up (with a touch of visible cameltoe)

Dryad: Cornrows and Areolaec Breats plate, She's apparently a long range fighter, using bows and blowguns, sexeh.

High Elf: Ugh elves are everywhere, even in this game, scantily clad as he may be I guess she's kinna the glass cannon caster class.

Inquisitor AKA Generic man in hood, looks caster-ish too.

Undead Warrior dude with a twist of Roman about him which is nice considering he's probably generic close combat.

Templar, Anubis style cybernetic organisms, Kudos for originality I say.

So as I was saying, the game is supposedly a Diablo clone, i.e. Action Adventure, hack 'n' slash, RPG but with 3D graphics. From the reviews around the internet it seems the game has received varying reviews from 5/10 to 9/10., But the general consensus is that if you liked the Diablo series (which I did) you'll love Sacred 2.Also in general reviews have been more positive for the 360 vs the PC, with high praise given to the controller mapping and HUD.

As you can tell from this post I have not actually played it yet. and this is the bit that fucks me off the most I cant get it.

Every fucker seems to be sold out of the standalone game. I can get the Special edition which comes with a doll of the Seraphim, but I really don't want it and in annoying state of affairs Amazon actually has the special edition for less than than the standalone version (not that they actually have it in stock though)

And yes I have tried looking in shops, but the generic spotty overpayed gimp behind the counter just looks at you blankly as if you are insulting him personally with your presence asking for a game that is Instantly recognisable, elitist mainstream cunts. And no they didn't have any copies.

Watch this space, one day I'll get it and you can finally get the Thatguys opinion.

Until then

Signing out

Richie XXX.

Little Big Planet and Spore revisited

Oh we are funny!So....

Spore. Guess we were right about that one then. Anyone still playing it? Anyone at all? No. Told you so.

Little Big Planet. Team TGAM doesn't own a PS3 for a number of reasons, the one we most like to pretend is true is because we have standards. The real excuse is that the fucker is still too expensive and there still aren't anywhere near enough decent games to justify a purchase. Anyway, if we did have one I would probably get LBP because I like creating shit in games like gay little designs for Animal Crossing, Crap Levels in Timesplitters or Miis that look like Charles Darwin. We do have some friends (21 to be exact). And some of those friends own a PS3 (12) they aren't gamers in the classic sense. They are normal people with cars and houses and the like. They don't obsess over games or write 2 and a bit games blogs. Aside from dusty copies of Resistance they all own LBP and without exception:

1) Haven't even tried to make their own levels. Some don't even know that you could.
2) Haven't gone online and tried any of the community levels. Or even now that they could or if they did, didn't realise that the levels were made by real people.
3) Played it online at all.
4) Bought any of the DLC.
5) Designed their own sackboys.

Which is sad but also it goes to show that if you are going to go for the casual audience you should give them a paint by numbers book and some crayons (Wii Sports) rather than a blank canvas and a selection of media to use (LBP).

In related news:

Also, none of our PS3 user friends have even heard of Home let alone tried it out. Which is a shame because in a year or two I predict it'll be doing some very interesting things. The same is true for things like Flow, Flower, Echochrome or Pixeljunk. I feel bad helping Sony out by spreading the word about these things.

This is comparable with all of our Wii owning friends who haven't downloaded a single (free) Wii channel or ever browsed the Virtual Console or WiiWare libraries. I've now done it at least eight times on friends consoles. Maybe Ninty should educate people about the expensive things they bought?

Maybe we could get paid for some of this community work too? Just write a check out to TGAM and send it to

Thx thx bye!






Fuck this shit