The Ad Man is a Bad Man

Those of you living in the United Kingdom Emirates may have seen a couple of the recent Fallout 3 GOTY edition TV spots. This makes a refreshing change from the constant Wii adverts.

We looked for a relevant video on Youtube but there are so many gameplay videos it was tricky to find. So instead we're going to go back in time to 1950 and explain the advert using only words*.

THE GUY WHO DOES ALL THE VOICEOVERS FOR AMERICAN ACTION FILMS: Play Fwallout 3 NOW!
2 second clip of someone doing a head shot.
2 second clip of someone hitting someone with something else.
2 second clip of someone having an explosive device thrown at them.
2 second clip of someone having something [indistinguishable] violent done to them in slow motion.
THE GUY WHO DOES ALL THE VOICEOVERS FOR AMERICAN ACTION FILMS: Gwame of the Ywear Edition out No[Gravel, gravel, Gravel]w.
1 second shot of credits.
End.

Now we're all for televisual adverts for great games but is the advert really capturing what is truly great about Fallout 3? We thinks no. We think it represents a game so great for many many other things, perhaps great for not focussing so much on all the things the ad highlights. But we also recognise that it is really hard to sell all those lovely extra features in such a short time slot but it doesn't stop us coming up with an alternative version:

You're breaking my heart. You're shaking my confidence daily. This image was the only one I could find that was relevant and the only way in which it is relevant is that it comes from a post about a spade by the excellent Pentadact

TGAM's FALLOUT 3 ADVERT- WORKING TITLE "A Dreamscape's last hiatus".

Black screen to opening of 'Cecilia' by Suggs.
4 minute clip of a player chasing a mutant across a wasteland continuously swiping away with a spade. At the end the mutant escapes and the player starts randomly shooting grass, trees and other scenery with a pistol.
1 second shot of credits.
END

We know which one we think most accurately describes the game. And we would happily make this ad for $4,000.

*We managed to find a computer old enough that would actually let you type in words. Then via a spectrum of younger and younger computers we managed to get it from a 490 inch floppy disk to a USB stick and then onto the internet. If we weren't so tech savvy we could say, hand on heart, that this post wouldn't have otherwise existed.

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