Let's do a "Guardian"

Fail whale can fuck off too
Social networking sites are great. Instead of getting information about useful things written by people who at least had some training in writing (English degrees anyway) we now get information in a huge uncontrollable torrent with the geniune interesting bits mixed in with all the shit. Finding genuine information is like finding a shoe or a filled condom in a sewage treatment plant.

We're all for it and here we are contributing to that torrent right now with this very post but it seems that even bigger traditional media like TV and Newspapers, resigned to the fact that the idiot millions will break every news story ever in their own trite fashion before them, have flip-reversed it and now report what is happening in the world today by checking twitter and facebook.

4 year old stabbed to death in the street? Not sad or news worthy until there's a facebook tribute page. Amazing wonders of the natural world? Not until it hits the "major trending topics on twitter".

Not to be the ones left out we've decided to do a "Guardian" by sitting on our fat asses and F5ing twitter reporting anything vaguely related to something we know about (gaming) and report it as news.

So, here is the news:

According to janigb9lu Call of Duy 4 "UFO Hack" is getting out of hand!

Redmage19 "still tends to play mostly on her DS, even though the bigger consoles also have great games. Her only gaming time is commuting time". Fascinating stuff I think you will agree!

Pclloh has seen Fatal1ty practising in the QL area and asks "Is he back". We'll be honest we didn't know he was away. But is he back?

Darthdoull was supposed to be going to a video gaming competition but is going to have to miss it for undisclosed reasons.

LATEST JUST IN FROM Alantocheri "More so, but not really. For the amount of gaming I do, my Wii is fine". More what so? How much gaming does he do? Was his Wii broken. Literally no idea.

JRSchramm shocks the world with "People pay well if you give good Blow Jobs i just got a ten dollar tip at a video game store. Life = Awesomesauce"

Echofolsom gets deep with his insight "An issue with gamer librarians building video game programs is the influence of nostalgia on collection development."

We could do this all day. We could do this all day and still be as bored as when we started. We could copy and paste thousands of these and still not keep ahead of the twats on twatter. In the time it took me to write that last line 36 more news results for "video game" came in. We could do this, insert some long words in between the pointless moronic observations and publish it and it distribute it across the UK. We could call it "G2" or "The London Paper" or "The Bizarre section in the sun". We could make a TV show about the latest from Twitter and call it, oh I don't know BBC News. We could call ourselves journalists and think we're all much young and savvy and fully justified in ending up in media because there's fuck all else to do with an English degree by simply commenting on what some twit on twatter said. We won't though because it would be fucking boring and a crime against humanity. So stop it. All of you. Just stop it.

BREAKING NEWS! Aervane: Alright, it's tournament time. If we win this one, that'll count as my first ever non-video-game winning streak. I'm psyched.

Comments

Michelle said…
I take it we're not fans of twitter then ? ;)
Cunzy11 said…
No.

That twat Omastar has a page but we shunned Twitter when it first came out. 6 years ago. And we stick to our guns here.
Cunzy11 said…
Maybe 3 years ago but w/ever!

Popular posts from this blog

An Omastar Is For Life

The Sheva from Resident Evil 5 Nude Cheat