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Showing posts from July, 2009

Because some things are worth re-posting

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Taken from the folks over at Kotaku who we like to abuse, and also from our rival Thatgirls, who we are green with envy about getting onto Kotaku yet again.

But on the upside a while back we did kill Day/Night note. You can thank us later.

Enjoy the pic. We did. fourteen times and counting.


Pika-ah-ah-ah-ah-chooooooooooooooooo

Richie X

Abuse on Xbox Live

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Dear TGAM....

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This is yet another first in a 'probably not going to get past two series of posts' series here at TGAM. It seems that a lot of people stumble upon TGAM by typing filthy questions into search engines. They then stay for an average of 00:00 to 00:01 seconds before going elsewhere, questions unanswered. It seems that nobody has heard of GAMEfaqs, fucking idiots. Well we're here to help you. An agony aunt for the depraved youth of today who don't know how to do searches properly.

So this will be a weekly surgery to answer those burning questions that many of you think we can't answer here at TGAM:




1)Every week about a thousand people look for Sheva Nude, Sheva's panties, nude, nude code, nude mods, naked, nude patch, naked cheat, Sheva's ass and combinations of all of the above. The full cheat is here but you're better off just creaming off a hot one over at deviant art.

2)List of dinosaur games. You can cobble together most of them by visiting here. But here…

Never go full retard.

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Here's a little insight into the world of video games journalism. We've all thought about doing it but no journo with integrity would ever go through with it. Hell, we flew pretty close to the wind one time but we pulled out at the last minute.

However, Owen Good at Kotaku has broken one of the golden rules of games journalism. It's so meta we just don't even know where to look or to start reading it from.

Yes. Kotaku has lowered the community IQ by several hundred points by doing a top 5 list of other top ten lists. Click only if you are brave enough.

Oh and Owen, don't forget some of the top tens we've had here over the years including:

Cunzy1 1's Top Ten Non lethal Weapons in Video Games.

Cunzys top 10 computer game characters he like to get screenshots/photos of cos-players of, so that he can get hard, as nothing else does it now.

Top 5 Shit pokemon that are shit, but not quite as shit as the top 5 lamest pokemon that 1up posted:

TGAM's Top Ten "Oh Sh…

DANGER: Women in games. Part 2: The Revenge

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So it’s been a while since we last decided to tackle the ongoing issue of the fairer sex grasping at the Joystick of the games industry and giving it a good old tug. Last time we touched on this subject we talked about the industries efforts to entice the female market, the vacant “hotties” keeping the guys interested in the industry, and most importantly painstakingly rendered, gorgeously rendered 3D boobies. Almost two years have passed since that last post, has the industry changed? Well it was this article, brought to my attention by Kotaku, which flared my dismay at the industry/humanity. It reads like an open letter to the gaming community proclaiming that girl gamers should be taken down from their pedestal, claiming that an entire gender is still having a hard time in the industry/gaming because of horny adolescent boys.

I'm afraid that I have to go out on an attack on Dairuka, and perhaps TGN, this entire post was clearly written by a cuckolded-pantsu-sniffer with aspira…

Omastar Comics #23

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Today marks the return of the internationally adored fictional cephalopod, Omastar. Originally, Breloom was to star in her own comic. Breloom Comics? Would have never worked.

This week Omastar is annoyed by giving away all the best secrets and getting none in return. Always the last to know. God. Just, just why do I even bother?



The monologue in panel 3 was used in scene 2 of the popular film version of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Did I see a penny of royalties? Did I f.....

In other gaming news:

It is the onset of the summer drought so stack up on sun cream and go outside for a bit yar?
It's Buddha burning time in England! I really want to see them flames people.
Eidos, we'd be happy to give your new game 95/100, just send us a signed copy of the game to www.hotmail.com
We read Brian Ashcraft's book! Much like our personal hero, the book was impersonal and missed the point but we forgive it because of its lovely flowing locks [hair]!

Next week we're going to Capcom HQ to play…

The joy of the Xbox 360

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Yo' this weekend just gone was an ace geekend. One of the rare times when the 20 something crew can get together and pretend that we are 16 all over again. Playing games until the eyes hurt? Check. Laughing at fart noises? Check. Laughing so hard that milk comes out of a nostril? Check. Eating junk food caning your knees up sitting on the floor playing games? Check. Only one thing marred it and that was the Xbox 360.

Consoles vs. PCs is an age old conflict but the latest generation of consoles have come leaps and bounds, caught up with PCs and carried on going. They have surpassed the PC experience altogether. Constant patch and update uploading, crashes, playing shit games just because they are free, rip off DLC and matchmaking wankybuggery can all be found on the 360 recreating the traditionally desk-based good times that can be found with a PC.

This weekend the 360 insisted on crashing every half an hour. Poor performance considering it had only been on constantly for a mere 12 h…

Blinky bill and Breathy Bob

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Call us turn around kings if you will but news of Shadow of Memories coming to the PSP has changed our hearts and our minds.

We loved the 2001 original. It was brilliant. Perhaps third greatest game of all time. We still finished it with a bunch of weird objects left over but travelling through time in the sleepy streets blew our minds at the time*.







*That and some special biscuits.

Ritin little stories about PC games is the new new games journalism

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Enjoyitbeforeit gets: a) derivative, b) covered by a ""cutting edge"" piece in the guardian TV guide c) Copycatted to death d) wedged into your Xbox 360 a la facebook and twitter in the place of some more useful kind of functionality like, finding the fucking game you've just inserted without negotiating 14 pages of trailers, all your friends' defaultly dressed snoozing avatars, advertising and Rare videos produced using a camera obscura and an etch a sketch.

Is the PSP worth getting yet?

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Let's check. The last time we paid any attention to the "little handheld that could" there was nothing going on.

From field data gathered by observing people using it on the bus and on the train it seems that 98% of them use it to watch Family Guy or South Park episodes. The other 2% play GTA.

Apparently, it can connect to the PS3. Which is a shame because the PS3 is probably the least useful thing an appliance could ever connect to. In fact plugging your PSP into the ground probably offers up infinitly more exciting gaming opportunities.

And what of those "games" that Sony used to do?

Hmmmm Tekken is the best game for the PSP according to Gayspot. Looking at Metacritic there has only been one game post launch better than Lumines and Wipeout. Thems are four years old y'all.

Well I do not know about you but I certainly can't wait for PSP Go! to play those four year old games on. Can you?

The last revelation

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